Chapter Hundred Twenty-Nine — Slut (1/3)
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*author scared and also sick*

Please do not burn me alive for putting a flashback here, of all places! The things directly in the next present chapters are explained here (the motivations of Abihiko in particular) -- so this Flashy has to be here before we go back to why Abihiko behaves in the present like he does I'm sorry! clear.png

Also, the first dose of vaccine is not kind to me, so... I'll just be here in the corner, slowly dying, clear.pngclear.png.

Ah, and lastly -- can I just say "thankyu" again to @RedHead for putting all emojis in my comment section of the Lord of Nothing (1/3) chapter, lol?

I keep coming back to that chapter to steal emojis to copy-paste here, and it has been such a useful comment section to me!!

Just -- pinched-fingers_1f90c.png

I hope you'll enjoy the Flashy ^^.

 

Chapter Hundred Twenty-Nine

Slut

Part 1 of 3

 

 

 

The nearing sixth year of his Izumo studies would be... desolate. Devoid of any light or joy; Nekohiko knew that.

The spring had passed and the summer marched on. Life was as it had always been, without noticing all those who had been lost by the wayside.

Okinaga's wife and daughter. Awaji and little Kusuhi.

Abihiko's dad, Lord Kinashi. And so many Hira nobles and servants and guards.

And with them -- the entirety of the Shiriya castle where Abi family had lived for centuries.

...

Their loss was so momentary and drowned out almost immediately by the ongoing war, that really -- nobody seemed to have noticed them gone.

Even Abihiko and Asazuma. Even Okinaga.

Nekohiko had never seen them grieving or acknowledging the massacre and ruin of the Shiriya castle siege. He had looked into it, trying to see hints of sadness or lingering frustration on their faces when he came close to them. Especially to Abihiko whom he wished he could help alleviate the terrible scars of the loss.

But he saw nothing.

All these people -- all the surviving members of the families that had been swallowed by the war... They were silent. And grim. And relentless.

They spoke nothing of the wounds they had been dealt.

They only fought back and dealt wounds in return.

Today, the heat rising from the fuming rock boiled into molten glass was especially fetid. The cliffside of the battle between the camp of the foreign intruders and Kazuragi's forces had been nearly obliterated. And almost without any of the Nagare Binders having to participate.

No. It was all Abihiko's doing, and part of the reason why Kazuragi loved so much when the two of them made their marches together on the liberating front.

Now that Nekohiko had officially joined the Civil War, it was no longer just enough for him to hide. He had to participate. He had to engage with his generals and allies. To pitch in his ideas and plans -- even if, most of the time, nobody asked him what he wanted. Or when they did, he always felt they only did it out of tradition.

And not because they cared for any of his input.

Mostly, he felt that he was like a banner passed from one Great Lord to another to wield so impressively into battle. Because this was what his life now resembled.

Being passed from Lord to Lord. His presence in the rebellious army was that much more exciting to the Usurper and his allies because it allowed any battle between the two armies to end up with his capture. Thus, to protect him when he was so openly on the battlefield, getting used to the hardships and sacrifices that came with trekking and strategizing, he couldn't remain in one place for too long.

If the Usurper's armies knew where he was, getting to him would disrupt the war that was going on. And nobody wanted to deal with that, especially when the fight went between so many of the Great Lords.

On both sides.

So far, neither Hiras nor Hisomes had joined the rebellion and were subservient to the Usurper. The Utsuro Lord, Sakai, didn't even participate, yet. As such, sometimes the battles went between the armies of Nekohiko's Binders -- and the armies of the Usurper.

Same people. Fighting each other.

The fight wouldn't be beneficial to anyone in the Empire. Thus, the war was sometimes... stalled, unable to move either forward or backward. Nobody wanted to fight fellow Binders for the fear of angering the Spirits.

The solution?

Invite foreign mercenaries, of course.

On their ships. On their endless supply of their damn ships, wave after wave of their boots trampling the blessed ground of the Empire as though anyone here wanted them to come. Even the Usurper, having paid for their presence -- didn't want them here.

Nobody did.

But at least, hey -- now the rebellion had someone to fight with. According to Abihiko and Kazuragi and their never-ending torrent of hatred and vitriol toward these foreign people who probably also didn't want to be here.

Nekohiko sometimes wanted to take his hearing away with Binding, so tired he was of the war talk, in and outside the war council rooms.

Today, too.

"Abihiko, enough!" he called to the other youth, terrified. He didn't even know how to approach Abihiko on his horse -- over this scorched, bubbling earth.

The entire small coast where the part of the foreign mercenaries had landed on --  was smoldering in the combined effort of Kazuragi and Abihiko.

Lightnings and infernal fires had eradicated this place within seconds, and Nekohiko hadn't even had time to glimpse who these people were. What they looked like. What they were doing...

Judging by how unprepared they had been for the double attack by Kazuragi and Abihiko, these poor souls had been merely setting up their camp. Not even doing anything yet.

Among the smoking, charred bodies crumbling into the fetid piles of ash, there were shapes of firepits and tents, and horses and wagons with provision and water... never again to be used. Across the expanse of the sea, wrecks of the destroyed ships and remnants of what Nekohiko wanted to pretend weren't human bodies -- swirled in the whirlpool of the hurricane Kazuragi had raised.

The rumble of the tides and the blitzing lightnings cast a devastating mood of horror on the shore. Even the darkened skies could not obscure the full scope of ruin that this shore had been subjected to.

And the two people in the middle of it all. The ones who had caused this.

"My Lady -- please do not go to them! They are not themselves," the few Nagare soldiers beside Nekohiko told him.

Not that he wanted to go there. The devastation of Abihiko's fires and Kazuragi's lightnings did not look like anything Nekohiko wanted to take part in.

But still... he felt he needed to go. And at least make sure Abihiko was safe.

"Lady Nekohime, by Lord Kazuragi's orders, you have to remain where you are."

Dammit.

However, one of the burliest officers abandoned her post at the head of the squad and pulled her glimmering obsidian Bound horse near.

Etsuko...? Nekohiko had heard Kazuragi call this woman.

She was supposedly his next-in-command, so by default, responsible for all Kazuragi's men. Including someone like Nekohiko.

But unlike others who often viewed Nekohiko as nothing but a burden due to how strict Kazuragi was with making sure nothing EVER touched or threatened Nekohiko's presence here -- Etsuko didn't give a damn.

She treated Nekohiko like she would anyone else.

As a mere instrument in her arsenal of doing things exactly as they should be done.

She jerked her head at him, stopping beside his mare.

"Stop them. They have annihilated the shore camp and the fleet," she told Nekohiko hoarsely. Glaring at Kazuragi's oblivious, gleeful rage across the skies as he reveled in the destruction his hurricanes were dealing to the ships, Etsuko squinted with displeasure. "If you come over to them, they will note it. And they will stop wasting their powers and everyone's time," she spat, snapping her gloves off her fingers.

"Lord K-kazuragi ordered me to always remain within the squad," Nekohiko mumbled.

Etsuko scared him, quite. Her manner was too forward, and her emotions too subdued and calculating. So many times had he caught her attention on him during their campaigning across the Nagare coast line. At the camps, at the firepit, early in the morning when Nekohiko and Abihiko emerged out of their shared tent.

"That is the point," she stressed. "With how precious you supposedly are, Lady Nekohime, even Kazuragi might prefer to stop his nonsense and come back down." Gaunt, her face twisted in a grimace of anger when Nekohiko didn't move. "GO."

...

She knew. Nekohiko had no clue how -- but she knew who he was.

The rumors were quite obvious about the forgotten and now resurfaced Prince coming to take the Emerald Throne back from the Usurper. The common folk might not know who he was exactly -- or what his name was -- or what his face looked like, but they knew someone was challenging the Usurper's right to reign.

And though Suminoe and the two Great Lord allies did their best to place various decoys in the Towa and Nagare castles and sometimes even rebel camps, Etsuko saw right through all that.

Yes, even with Nekohiko wearing his full-time girl persona again.

He dropped his eyes, dismayed. Then spurred his obsidian steed to weave through the rows of the squad members who were afraid to even come closer to the destruction on the shore. Kazuragi and the hurricanes sweeping the coast was one thing. Most Nagares could deal with the wind gusts and cancel them out.

But Abihiko and his personal brand of fiery destruction here, on land...

The heat swerved once Nekohiko left the safety dome of the Nagare soldiers' spells protecting them from the elements. The sea spray from the storm breathed at him and the powerful slams of the wind crested over him.

He had to bend down to his horse to withstand the assault on all sides. His eyes teared up from looking up like this -- to see Abihiko strolling idly through the scorched landscape.

Whenever he encountered another spot he found suspiciously alive or even just moving -- a new wave of incineration spells roared from his finger formations, swallowing the already-molten precipice.

His robes -- of such a bright and furious red, it almost looked aflame -- fluttered and flapped in the rising waves of heat. His long hair swayed, unrestrained. As he sometimes did, he had forgotten to protect his hair ribbon from the heat, and it had come to ashes at the first burst of his fire powers.

And with that dazzlingly-white smile even within the black fumes creeping up from the ground -- he looked like a complete madman.

Something Nekohiko was all too familiar with, after the fall of the Shiriya castle.

"Abihiko," he coughed, shielding his mouth and nose from the acrid smoke. "Abihiko, enough! They're all dead! There is no point in being here anymore!"

And as usual, Abihiko did not hear him outright.

Dazed, his predatory gaze searched the perimeters of the devastated cliff. His head swiveled left and right, his hair swaying. The fiery flickers played along the blade of his sword. But only them. No blood on that sword, never.

Even though Abihiko always took it into the battle, he never needed to dirty his blade with the enemy blood.

There simply was no blood at these temperatures. Blood, skin, flesh, even bone crumbled and evaporated faster than Abihiko could make use of the Maple Apple.

...

Just as it had been, mere months ago. When Nekohiko had seen for the first time the true scope of destruction Abihiko or his mother, Asazuma, could deal.

When the three of them had arrived at the blazing ruins of Shiriya and saw what was waiting for them there...

Ah.

No...

Nekohiko shook his head, refusing to recall the gruesome sights and the pain of having come too late... to somewhere where they all had been so happy, once.

With all the people who had made that happiness complete.

But every time that he saw Abihiko in this state on the battlefield, the memories simply had to surge back. Threatening to crush him.

Probably not only him.

"Abihiko!" he pled again. He hopped off the horse and hissed in frustration when the soles of his boots stuck to the molten rock underneath, also melting from the touch.

Quick, he slapped his hand toward his boots and cast a heat-resistant spell. Only then he broke into a run, wincing at the stench of burning that reached his nose.

"What are you doing," he breathed when he crashed into Abihiko from the back, sweeping him into an embrace. "Abihiko, stop. Enough."

I know that you are sad and you are aimless.

But you won't fix anything that you've lost by doing this.

"These people didn't even do anything," Nekohiko whispered into his ear as Abihiko froze against him.

Subtly, Abihiko shivered as though surrendering to Nekohiko's touch. His stiff posture eased down, and he lifted his head to the dark skies in which the storm Kazuragi had summoned was still in full reign.

Abihiko blinked, dazed. "Mmm."

"They come on the same black ships that sieged Shiriya. And they might sound or look the same, but... Abihiko, they are not the same people who--"

--had destroyed Shiriya castle.

And who had cut down every single inhabitant of the castle -- all the meager victims -- while the powerful owners hadn't been home.

"Well, those ones are dead already," Abihiko said, still sounding confused and numb. "I can't kill them again, so..."

"We need to stop Kazuragi, too," Nekohiko told him, hugging him to himself even tighter. "At some point, such directionless rage only hurts the two of you. Not anyone else around you. These are all corpses, Abihiko. Stop punishing them for something they haven't even done."

...

Etsuko was right. Both Abihiko and Kazuragi seemed to calm down when Nekohiko was involved. Well... not "calmed down" fully since Kazuragi could lash out at Nekohiko just as freely as he could at anyone else. But no more destruction, and far less murderous glee in other people's suffering.

An improvement.

When they were readying for the night in the Nagare camp later, Nekohiko helped Abihiko ease down even further. How? He refused to get dragged into any of Abihiko's aggressive conversations with other people. And he refused to let Abihiko go away to the nearest town to "gamble" as he called it.

Because Nekohiko knew what this "gambling" implied. Getting into fights.

Threatening to burn people alive. Reveling in the violence and brashness that nowadays -- felt all too similar between Kazuragi and Abihiko.

The two of them were off the hook.

They wanted to pick up fights and maim or injure people. Any tiny spark would make them go off. It was so frustrating...

All he could do was to not feed into it, and instead, try to give at least Abihiko a better -- calmer outlet for the fury that brimmed inside him.

"I asked the cooking-duty soldiers to grab a few of these from the town," Nekohiko told him after he had managed to pull Abihiko back in their small tent. Bound bark and leaves made it a cozy retreat from the outside drizzle and heat. Since Abihiko had always loved it, Nekohiko had tried to decorate the simple tent with swirls of flowers added to the bland brown color of the bark that constituted the majority of walls and ceiling.

It was cozy, now. As cozy as Nekohiko's tepid tastes could manage.

He pushed Abihiko to their rolled bed and knelt before him. On Abihiko's lap, he placed a small bundle of bread buns, still fresh and hot from the town's ovens. With adzuki bean paste filling.

"Eat them. They are delicious," Nekohiko ordered.

Abihiko didn't seem very interested -- but politely, he unpacked the first bun and bit into it. Only to frown and take a closer look at its insides.

"This is adzuki bean paste," Abihiko said at last.

"Yes. Your favorite." Nekohiko patted him on the head, kindly.

"Wha--??? No, it isn't!?" Abihiko shook his head in disbelief, his expression finally something different from his usual dead-eyed stare of the recent months. Now, he looked so indignant. "This is your favorite, Neko, not mine!"

"Oops." Nekohiko gave him a tight-lipped smile.

He was just so happy to see Abihiko react to him. It was harder and harder to do, lately -- because of how deeply Abihiko grieved about his family's tragedy.

Yes, grieved.

Perhaps, he couldn't show his grief in the manner most people did. He never acted sad or mournful. Neither wistful. Nor distraught.

He was vengeful and murderous and destructive, instead.

Just like Kazuragi or Asazuma.

But, Nekohiko figured -- some people simply processed their sadness in this specific way. Maybe they simply knew no other. Or didn't feel comfortable doing it with tears or melancholy or regret...

Lashing out at the world suited them much better.

Yet he could see it for what it was, no? He knew Abihiko better than anyone.

He could see the deep pain and scars within Abihiko's heart and mind. He could try and reach out to help them heal even if Abihiko never asked for it or even acknowledged them himself.

"I thought you like everything I like," Nekohiko hummed, leaning in closer to put only the thinnest of distances between his face and Abihiko's. "You tend to sacrifice your tastes for mine so often, I genuinely believed you would like the same food I do."

"No?" Abihiko scowled. "Tch. The gall of you thinking that."

Gentle, Nekohiko kissed him on the cheek, then slowly trailed his lips against Abihiko's skin to his mouth. He placed tender pecks on the corner of his mouth, his hands lifting to thread through his hair and nudge him in.

And with only a small delay, Abihiko allowed himself to be drawn in. All their bought buns pattered on the bed, rolling.

Nekohiko wished he could do more to ease Abihiko's pain, but this was the extent of his powers. Which was funny, for supposedly the most powerful person in the Empire.

He could only be kind and patient and thorough. Maybe, with time, it would all right itself to how it had always been.

Back to the carefree happiness. Like it had been before the war.

Before the losses and pain.

...

He could hope.

 

 


***

 

Traveling with Kazuragi's army was downright frustrating. Courtesy of Kazuragi, of course.

Unlike marches with Hinokuma that had always happened on the sea, and thus, didn't require nearly as much participation from Nekohiko or Abihiko in the naval battles only Towas excelled in, Kazuragi's army went on foot.

And thus, welcomed any participant it could get.

Kazuragi himself had always given Nekohiko the feelings of unhingedness. He was brash and careless. Not in the way Abihiko was, because Abihiko was merely distracted, easily excitable sort. No. Kazuragi had much darker sides to him. Not just destructive, but... vengeful. Toxic. And deeply unsympathetic underneath his penchant for violence.

Truly, this man had been uplifted by Yakabe's love.

With Yakabe, all Kazuragi's worst qualities had been lightened, smoothened, silky. Only his carefree nature had peeked when in Yakabe's presence.

Now, however... it was as though he wanted to drown the world in his misery. Poison it like his life had been poisoned. And frankly, he succeeded.

"There's a march in the mountain pass south of here," Kazuragi told Abihiko one day.

Abihiko and Nekohiko had only begun planning their morning with wanting to go and see the local Savage Spirits. It was early, and the foggy valleys beneath their set-up camp breathed of mystery and hallowed silence. The woods were calm, but far at the edge of the horizon, Nekohiko had glimpsed a few roving Savage Beasts.

A thousand-antlered deer, covered with moss and lichens. And a Boar wild Spirit, dark with fumes of unresolved anger that clouded its shape.

They didn't look that Savage yet, but their hulking size, towering over the trees -- and their unmistakably darker auras told him they would devolve into Savage strand very, very soon.

So yes... He wanted to check them out and pacify them before it was too late. These mountains had several villages and towns nearby, and his trained Wayfaring instincts told him these Spirits spelled danger in the upcoming months.

Abihiko didn't mind, really. They were still in their Fifth Year, the year most Binders learned how to spot Spiritual issues and solve them most efficiently. When they came back to Izumo at the beginning of the Sixth year, Nekohiko wanted to show off something they had succeeded in.

Helping their Land. Its Spirits. And the common people.

Wasn't that what they had both always wanted to do with their lives, anyway?

But as soon as Kazuragi came over with news about enemy forces somewhere near...

Abihiko whipped his head toward him, the wild flame of bloodlust sparking inside. He reached for Maple Apple immediately.

"Yeah, I'm coming! How many?!"

Kazuragi cut him a sneer before leaving. "About a hundred."

"Ahhh... it will feel good," Abihiko breathed, rushing to get his boots on and set off.

Without even acknowledging Nekohiko next to him.

They had been having breakfast over the map of the region. Talking about their Wayfaring plans... Did Abihiko already forget about it?

"We need to go and exorcise the Spirits," Nekohiko reminded him, numb.

"What?" Abihiko turned in the tent entrance. "No. Um... Neko, the Spirits can wait. There's enemy forces. We need to take care of them right now."

Take care of them, huh.

"Kazuragi can burn all these people alive without your presence, you know. Unless all you go there for is to help with his murder spree, not to actually 'take care' of anything," Nekohiko murmured under his nose.

But Abihiko heard.

Slowly, he cocked his head to the side. A hue of menace made his features sharper.

"I have to blow off steam. This place is fucking boring. Plus, this is war. We have to be fast and merciless if we want to win it."

"Win what--?" Nekohiko gestured to the map on their small earthen table. "There will be nothing to win if you all keep destroying the land and making the Spirits angry with so much murder and misery! I want to make peace with this land. To help the people! Not to murder others -- who, mind you -- aren't even that much of a threat to us! This land and Spirits need healing, not more violence and grief!"

And so do you.

Most of the foreigners weren't magic or anything, to be honest. Some of them brought foreign sorcery arts and insidious spells here, but this land had its own magic. Deep within it. The Spirits of the Empire weren't that helpful toward anyone who wasn't a local.

Thus, the majority of invaders who came here were... just meat shields to throw at the Binder armies. To overwhelm them with sheer numbers.

Not a real danger.

Except that...

Nekohiko shuddered, realizing what he had just said.

"Yes, and my family and castle being destroyed by them was not a threat at all," Abihiko told him, eerily amused. "Sure, Neko. Go ahead, pacify your Spirits all you want. I'm going to battle all these supposedly non-threatening losers that come here. For fun, I guess. Since that's what you think I am doing--"

...

"I didn't mean it like that," Nekohiko whispered. Clumsy, he got to his feet to rush at Abihiko and pull him into a hug. But Abihiko was already past the threshold, leaving him all alone.

To go and fight and kill and destroy -- as he so loved to do.

"Abihiko!" he cried after him. "Wait! I just--"

I just want you to start healing.

I want you to enjoy life again. The Spirits, and our Wayfaring days... without giving in to anger and darkness all the time.

Is that too much to ask for?

...

In the end, he had to go on his Wayfaring mission alone. The Spirits weren't going to pacify themselves, and the enemy forces weren't going to immolate and burn themselves into ashes, either.

Both Nekohiko and Abihiko had something to do, it turned out.

Even if it put them so far away from each other.

 

 


***

 

Apparently, people gave Abihiko a name now? Nekohiko hadn't even known about it until he heard it repeated at the fire circle in one of their marches down the coast.

Some of the Nagare soldiers had just returned from the nearby town, sniggering about the supposed heir to the Emerald Throne they must be guarding against the Usurper's forces. It was late evening, and time to prepare for the last meals and sleep. Busy, they stood behind the provision tents, hidden by the bushes and sparse shoreline trees. And chattered like no tomorrow.

Nekohiko stilled when he heard.

His heart lurched to a halt, too. People suspected Kazuragi was traveling with the future Emperor? Oh no... what would they do if someone found out about Nekohiko?!

Every one of the Lords was so worried about anyone finding out who the heir was...

But then the Nagare soldiers went on talking amidst their unloading of their steeds from the provision bags they had bought.

"Ugh, who knew that the future Emperor would come from such a crooked line? Look at him -- he is not the Emerald Prince. Everyone knows what they call him. Especially when he starts burning people alive whenever the fancy strikes him. Pff."

"Ha-ha, yeah I know his new title. Very fitting, if you ask me."

"Mmmhmm. He comes from the same line as that Demonic traitor, original Abihiko was..." the other soldier responded in a secretive whisper. "At least he's lucky enough that his mom takes the brunt of the insults for them both."

"Who? Asazuma? Wasn't she called Demonic Queen from what I've heard recently?"

...

Nekohiko listened, hidden well behind the nearby tent on the wind-swept, humid shore.

Demonic Queen Asazuma?

So they were talking about Abihiko. And not him? It was a relief, honestly. But a very short-lived one. Because if people suspected Abihiko was the hidden heir to the Emerald Throne, wouldn't Abihiko's life be in danger now? From all the attempts to kidnap and capture him?

"Yeah, like mother like son. They are both madmen, and Spirits save this country if they are truly the heirs to the Throne," one of the soldiers spat.

Nekohiko hadn't heard about Abihiko's mom also getting a fancy nickname after the fall of the Shiriya castle. Even though she and Abihiko had separated after that, Nekohiko knew she was not sitting back peacefully. Like her vindictive oldest son, Asazuma was... a scourge upon the Usurper's forces.

Her movements and tales of unbelievable cruelty were just as legendary as Abihiko's and Kazuragi's madness, it seemed.

But what did it mean about Abihiko's nickname? Some years ago, a few students in Izumo had called Abihiko a Demonic Prince due to his irrational anger bursts during his worst times.

But Nekohiko had always thought it was a joke. Or at least something that was in the past now.

Abihiko was... not that irrational, actually. He was just frustrated about his family's murder. This wouldn't last. He would come back to his senses and stop being so destructive sooner or later. He needed time.

And care.

Nekohiko fully believed that.

His fists curled in, listening to the Nagare soldiers' careless chatter and thinking all about what people must think Abihiko was. An unruly, tempestuous, hard-to-deal-with person...

A Demonic Prince of some sort?

Nekohiko disliked the very idea. He wondered if such a negative label would... stick. Would influence how people dealt with Abihiko and what they would expect of him later on. For example... when Nekohiko planned to marry Abihiko as he wanted to.

Would Abihiko's negative reputation not... factor in somehow and make him inadvisable as a marriage partner?

After all, Nekohiko would be the Emperor. He had to respond to an entire country about marrying a person as evil-sounding as that.

Desperately, he wanted to fix this whatever it cost him.

"Nooo, nobody calls her the Demonic Queen. You see... with how she tends to go about it -- too friendly with all the Great Lords. The male Great Lords, ya know--" the two men suddenly leaned in together, whispering. And Nekohiko could not hear a thing.

But a horrible suspicion wormed in his heart, nonetheless.

Without even realizing, he stepped in closer, wanting to hear when--

"YES?" a very tender, yet very obviously-pissed off voice demanded from behind the two soldiers.

A female voice.

One that Nekohiko could not help but gasp at hearing.

Here, of all places. Now?!

"Lady Asazuma!" Nekohiko cried, hurrying from beyond the tent and wanting nothing more than to grab her by the hand and take to Abihiko straightaway. "You came! Abihiko would be so happy!"

Even though Abihiko would never say this out loud, Nekohiko could feel it.

The yearning and vulnerability of Abihiko's pain. Of course he needed his mother. And his now-dead father, and his siblings... The war had taken his dad from him and he no longer could see his siblings without endangering them. But Asazuma...

Her, Abihiko, could reunite with. And maybe start healing better after all the horrors that had happened to him.

In the beautiful black and red travel outfit, Asazuma was a picture of tired competence. Having come here, all alone through the wilderness, and managing to not be noticed by any of the lookouts... She was riding a live horse, having ridden it till the poor animal frothed at the mouth and shone with sweat cascading down its sides. The woman must be scraping her ends, to only be able to afford something as shabby as a live animal. Or perhaps simply not wanting to draw too much attention to herself.

Which she, as Abihiko, would always fail at.

There was simply no way for either of these bright, incredible people to not turn heads everywhere they went.

While she flashed Nekohiko a warm smile when she saw him, she did not descend from her horse yet. And she did not shift her attention from over the two feckless Nagare soldiers who had been gossiping about her so happily moments ago.

"--please, go on," she urged the two men playfully. "What do people call me? Mmmm?"

The Nagare soldiers gulped audibly, trying to sidle to hide behind the horses as though such a meager thing as two dummies made of obsidian would shield them from harm.

"N-nothing, My Lady. Only the dirty peasants' talk... Nothing important."

"So are you saying you two are the dirty peasants talking about me behind my back?" Asazuma winked, predatory.

"No... the peasants in the town. And the enemy mercenaries... spewing nonsense, of course," the second soldier said even lower as though direly afraid of Asazuma's legendary temper sparking.

And it did.

Albeit it came out in the least expected of ways.

"A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" She threw her head back, savoring the idea. She even dabbed the edges of her eyes with a sleeve from how funny she found the two soldiers' fright before her. "You mean the Demonic Slut title??? Oh yes, yes! I have heard of it, plenty."

Nekohiko winced at the awful word being flung around so negligently by Asazuma, but even he couldn't suppress his pleasure when he noted that the three Nagares flinched from her laughter. Pale with panic, eyes huge and skittering. All three ready to buck at any moment.

Even back in the camp a few dozens of feet away, Nekohiko sensed the attention of the Nagare soldiers and servants spiking. People were coming over here to see what all this noise was about.

All of a sudden, Asazuma grew quiet. She leaned an elbow on the saddle of her horse and gave the three cowering soldiers a seductive look.

"You can say this word behind my back, but not to my face? Oh, no. You poor little boys, so afraid of this sultry whore corrupting you with my guiles, by chance? Mmm?"

The three now were positively going to collapse from the horror of facing someone known for frying people alive just like her son.

But luckily for them, they were saved.

"Mother? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Will you ever keep your damn mouth shut, woman?" Kazuragi said tiredly from behind Nekohiko.

Together, Abihiko and Kazuragi were coming over from the heart of their small war camp. And while Kazuragi seemed even glad to see Asazuma here, Abihiko...

Abihiko glowered at her rather than greet her. And once he came level with Nekohiko, he stopped, hugging Nekohiko with one arm while Kazuragi and his mom were busy exchanging pleasantries.

As though nothing of that was related to him.

"I cannot believe I have to march with you brigands," Asazuma sighed at Kazuragi's odd hundred of soldiers spread out over the coastal camp under the dusky skies. "But I hear you are tracking some new ships coming in from the West?" She squinted at Kazuragi, no longer amiable. Just businesslike. "Where and when they land? I need to know."

Gone were the chitchat and the banter between her and Kazuragi -- from years ago. These two had always had such a bizarre, but endearing relationship. Friends or enemies. Or maybe school bullies to one another. Nekohiko didn't know. But he had always enjoyed Asazuma's and Kazuragi's endless bickering.

Now, neither of them even bothered.

Straight into talking about murder and vengeance plans again. Not even a proper greeting passing between them.

"I thought you'd be in Okinaga's army now," Kazuragi told her as he stopped beside her horse, arms crossed on his chest. "Were you not at all successful in dragging him into our side, huh?"

"Nope."

A tint of severe irritation sounded in her tone as she hopped off the horse, her face defiant, her motions sharp.

"His daughter and fucking wife get murdered by the Usurper's forces, yet he?" Asazuma spat, shaking her head. "Still as loyal to the bastard on the Throne as ever."

Bitterly, she laughed and gave Kazuragi an "imagine that?" look.

"Next time I see him, I might as well immolate him on the spot as well," she promised, then patted Kazuragi's chest, passing him by. "Fucking Hira stubbornness. Or better to say -- stupidity."

"Welcome to the reasonable side of the war, I guess," Kazuragi drawled, just as pissed at her news as she was.

Nekohiko stood beside Abihiko, shaken, and refused to accept the full scope of scorn and hatred spreading in here.

It was as though... the War was breaking everyone down and making everyone a hateful, unforgiving monster.

Tense, he clung to Abihiko's shoulder even tighter when Asazuma and Kazuragi strolled over to them. Kazuragi was giving orders to the soldiers to take care of Asazuma's horse while Asazuma already scanned with her eyes the state of her son and of Nekohiko.

She did not seem very pleased with what she was seeing. In the twilight-hued evening on this bleak shore, this bizarre family reunion brought more unease to Nekohiko than these two being apart for so long.

How long ago had Asazuma and Abihiko seen each other, last?

For a few moments, she simply stared at Abihiko as he ignored her, grimly. Then she flashed Nekohiko a lightless grin.

"I guess I am sleeping with you two in your tent tonight. Not like I have anywhere else to sleep. So we'll talk plenty in there, I can bet."

"Mn." Nekohiko gave her a stiff nod, but Abihiko only flexed his jaw, impatient.

"Sorry, but how about no? You disappear for months. Nothing I hear from you. Nothing I am worthy of hearing, it seems. Now suddenly you're my mother again and want to bunk next to me on the bed?"

"I had to get to Okinaga and drag him to our side. We both lost the same during that attack!"

"Well. And have you succeeded?"

"Abihiko!" she snapped back, the color of her face flushing with the barely restrained fury. "I needed to take care of my kids and make sure they were safe. Many things had to be done. It is a damn war, Abihiko. And don't you dare talk to me like this ever again, or I--"

"I am your child, too, and you abandoned me!" Abihiko cried out. His hold on Nekohiko's fingers grew so intense, Nekohiko almost wanted to slip out of his grasp.

But he persevered. Instead, he curled his fingers against Abihiko's and deepened their handhold.

"You are a Binder, and a powerful one." Asazuma's eyes flashed. "Stop being such a baby. You can take care of yourself."

...

She was right, of course.

But also... Abihiko had witnessed his own father's body impaled and dismembered, in the main dining hall of the Shiriya castle. Had seen little Kusuhi's crushed torso underneath the crumbled stonework of the castle walls. Had stared, numb, at Lady Awaji's... pool of blood under the fallen column. Because there had simply been no other part of her that they could find.

Nekohiko had been there, next to him. He had held Abihiko's hand just as firmly as he did now.

Yes, perhaps Abihiko was much stronger and older than other Asazuma's children, but...

Nekohiko knew better than anyone that, deep inside, Abihiko was also a child, himself. A child who didn't even know how to handle grief or the gruesome realities of war that this world had suddenly thrown at his face.

"Then you can take care of your sleeping arrangements, too," Abihiko told Asazuma, turning to walk away. "Stop being such a baby."

...

Nekohiko threw a pleading look at her to not make the situation worse.

"For fuck's sake," Asazuma groaned and wanted to follow the two of them. But Kazuragi -- Spirits bless him! -- intervened.

"It's fine -- you can sleep in my tent tonight. Not like I haven't slept alongside my old classmates before."

Slowly, Asazuma gave him a resentful look. "In your tent? Oh sure. And have your soldiers talk dirt about me, but not about you?"

"As though that would have mattered where you slept tonight!" Kazuragi shook his head. "Hey, sleep outside for all I care. We all know people would talk bad things behind your back regardless of who you sleep next to -- or even if you do. People just have very long tongues, I guess."

"They do, don't they?"

Nekohiko waved to Asazuma goodbye, dragged by Abihiko's hand to leave. But before he could walk too far away out of Asazuma's speaking range, he heard...

He heard her say someone's name. Someone, who he had thought about for all the long months after the siege and sacking of the Shiriya castle.

Asazuma and Kazuragi were bantering about nonsense, again, too far to note that Nekohiko still paid them attention.

"I hope you have room for three people in that giant-ass tent of yours, and not for just two," she was telling Kazuragi. "Because there's some other classmate who will sleep with you and me tonight."

"WHAT--who??" Kazuragi swerved, giving the camp and its tents a disgruntled look. But the seashore rolled its waves as steadily as before, with not a single figure on the horizon marring it, and both sides of the rocky beach spread outward, lonesome as ever.

Obviously, no one was coming from the camp's side, either.

"Don't tell me you've managed to compel Okinaga to come, after all," Kazuragi began, menacing.

Asazuma smirked. "Suminoe. He's coming a bit later, though. He really didn't want to infringe on anyone's evening here. In particular, the little Prince--"

The moment he heard, Nekohiko stopped. And yanked Abihiko back, harsh.

...

Suminoe.

Abihiko raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Nekohiko could only look at him pleadingly. If Abihiko hadn't heard whom Asazuma had just talked about -- could he not understand the turmoil in Nekohiko's expression now?

But he did understand.

Instantly, Abihiko's eyes narrowed, sizing Nekohiko up and down. "What is it?"

"--he wants to tell something very important to Neko," Asazuma went on, busy with her saddlebags. "But from what he's said to me... It sure sounds like Neko might not want to talk to him back."

"What?? Why? Neko? He is the most agreeable person I have met. If I didn't know what heritage he came from... I might have even called him a pushover," Kazuragi mumbled somewhere beside her, out of Nekohiko's sight.

Nekohiko shook his head at Abihiko's questions, then walked on to their small tent -- preferring to ignore the rest of everything Kazuragi and Asazuma might be talking about.

It didn't concern him, really. Only Suminoe did.

And the reasons he had come here, tonight.

"Neko, what's wrong?" Abihiko kept demanding long after they came back to their tent and closed the flaps of cloth door behind them.

Nekohiko sank to their rolled mattress, burying his face in his hands.

"Suminoe is here," he breathed at last, once he took his quivering voice under control. "He wants to talk to me.

"And I... I do not think I am as angry at him as I have been, half a year ago," he went on, lost. He lifted his eyes, blurry with a mist of tears, at Abihiko's worried face. "I feel that... after all that has happened lately... I might... need to talk to him, too, after all."

Abihiko sat beside him on the bed, one arm tugging Nekohiko to lean against his shoulder. Which Nekohiko did, gladly.

"Tch. I mean... what did he even do that you were so angry at him back then?" Abihiko asked him, soft. "You never told me and I never pried because you rarely share anything you two are doing."

...

Not because I don't trust you, Nekohiko thought.

Only because I don't want to harm you with knowing some truths... nobody would benefit from knowing.

He sighed. "He betrayed my trust," he said, at last. "I am not sure I can ever forgive him for something like that, but... that doesn't mean I don't find him and his advice... convenient and useful."

"Oh." Abihiko smiled, just a bit. "Never took you for such a logical person, Neko. I thought you would hold a grudge. Or was it just me? Ha-ha--"

Nekohiko stirred and gave him a side-eye from over his shoulder. "You? When have I held a grudge against you?"

"Mmm, I don't know -- like every day now?"

...

Nekohiko balked, lost.

"You constantly make sure I know how much you despise the war and fighting. And how much you want me to move on and stop going with Kazuragi into battle. You are so... judgmental sometimes."

"You murder people. Real people," Nekohiko told him.

"Yes? And these people murdered my family? So what?! What do you want from me? To forgive them? To ignore them? To stop being hurt all of a sudden?"

Distraught, Abihiko turned aside. It was clear his mind was boiling over with these thoughts for a while now.

And Nekohiko... really appreciated that they were finally talking about it. Even if Abihiko could not say anything he didn't suspect already.

Still better than nothing.

"I want you to... know that there is something more than anger and sadness," Nekohiko said simply. "To remember that."

"Neko, you're only saying it because you haven't lost anyone that close, yet. You don't... have a family, and thus -- you do not have to worry nearly as much about losing them in this War. You know?"

...

What horrible lies, Abihiko.

"I do have a family. And someone to lose," Nekohiko said, quiet. "I have you."

"..."

The hushed coziness of their embrace only seemed that much sweeter from acknowledging that. For both of them.

"When else had I hold a grudge against you?" Nekohiko asked, softly nudging his nose into Abihiko's shoulder.

It worked.

Abihiko eased down with a hum. Clearly wanting to distract himself with some lighter topic. "Oh. I dunno. Perhaps the first year of school? Like when you slapped me and threw food at me and yelled insults at my mom just because I meowed at you once?"

Erm...

Nekohiko felt cold with confusion. But also a bit of shame.

"It wasn't just you meowing," he murmured. "You also were too loud and you... flirted with any boy you came across. So--"

"Sooo?" Abihiko smirked evilly, quite enjoying Nekohiko's inability to come up with a proper reason for being so mean to him at the beginning of their friendship.

But Nekohiko did not have anything to add.

Weren't the things he just mentioned obvious?

Anyone would have snapped at Abihiko back then. It was natural with how obnoxious the boy had once been.

Abihiko pitied his intense silence -- and rather than continue teasing him, he took Nekohiko's chin in his fingers and lifted to himself.

Soft, his huge eyes with the caramel glow of brown in them in this intimate lantern light -- gazed at Nekohiko's face. As though absorbing and savoring every last bit of Nekohiko's unchanging expression.

"Thank you, Neko," he said, warm.

The sudden gratitude stole all thought out of Nekohiko's mind. He was so certain Abihiko would land a tender kiss on his lips next, not thank him for no reason.

"...? For what?"

"For letting me absorb my anger and sadness after the Shiriya Castle without forcing me. For being here with me every time I needed you. For just..." Abihiko's lashes fell on his cheeks as his gaze traveled down to Nekohiko's mouth, so speechlessly agape. "For being so you. With me. Patient and thoughtful and sweet. Without being asked to."

...

The moment was so fragile and brief, Nekohiko was afraid that it would end any second now. He wanted to prolong it.

He wanted to drink it in, slowly like old aristocrats sipped fine wine -- one with traces of sunlight and fresh grasses and cozy days of days far gone.

He smiled back. Then he was the first to breach the small gap between them and draw Abihiko into the most euphoric kiss he could muster.

It wasn't much, really. But it was like a new chapter in his and Abihiko's journey. One where they both knew they could survive even tragedy and pain as long as they were next to each other.

 

 


***

 

Early next day, the first thing Nekohiko did was stop doubting his actions and choices. He walked straight into Kazuragi's tent and the sparse and crude breakfast that was being served in there for three people.

One Lord. One lady.

And one Head Priest of Izumo.

But today, Nekohiko was no longer scared to see him. Not when Abihiko was standing right behind him, as ready as he was -- to take anything that came their way. And face it together.

"I heard Your Holiness wanted to speak to me?" Nekohiko said rather than greet anyone in the Nagare Lord's tent. "As long as it makes sense, I am listening."

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