Content Warning: sexual content

(in the first section).

 

 

Chapter Hundred Thirty-Four

Pillow Fights and Pillow Talks

 

 

 

"I can walk on my own," Nekohiko began, confused.

Abihiko gave him the nastiest smirk. "Now you can."

...

What was that even supposed to mean? Nekohiko wanted to ask, but Abihiko was straightforward with kicking the door of their bedroom shut and readjusting Nekohiko in his arms rudely. Only after Nekohiko huffed at such treatment did he walk across the room and... dumped Nekohiko on the bed.

No fanfare, no grace... just pure scoffing.

"Hey, that's not how you treat your Emperor!"

"I took my time in prison for my Emperor." Abihiko took his time with the clutter of small chests and boxes piled next to the bed. Before, all these elaborate items had been stashed in the shelves and carved cabinets, but after their rampage a month ago, Nekohiko had no idea how Abihiko was even able to sort through the mess all over the floor.

Triumphant, Abihiko fished out a small vial and turned back to Nekohiko. "Now I don't have to do a damn for my Emperor. I paid my dues."

"You spent less than a day in prison," Nekohiko said. "This is not an appropriate punishment in my eyes."

"Oh?"

Nekohiko could see he was pissed. Because even though Abihiko tried to act playful, he still had an edge of snappiness to his smile and his motions. He sat on the corner of the bed, eyes like a hawk's on Nekohiko's body.

And every once in a while, Nekohiko's heart panged in unbelievable tender ache. The stings of jealousy, like incessant patter -- coming from Abihiko through the Bond.

Yes, even just looking at Nekohiko invoked pain in Abihiko's soul. Nekohiko wondered if his thoughts couldn't help but return to Kataji and the ambiguous position Abihiko had found the two of them in.

"You twisting your heart into knots at the idea of me being with Kataji is punishment enough, though."

Abihiko's eyes flashed as his smile went away -- fast like a snuffed flame. Coolly, he bent closer to Nekohiko, but did not try to touch him. Only leaned over him in a possessive, trapping pose.

"Stop butting your nose in my heart's pains--"

"I am not doing anything! It's your stupid jealousy," Nekohiko retorted. "I can feel it through the Bond every time I raise the topic of Kataji."

"..."

Abihiko quietened down, somber. "I cannot believe you went to him and didn't think twice about his Master Orders."

"I thought I could Bind against him if he ever tried anything funny."

Intense with anguish, Abihiko lowered his forehead against Nekohiko's until their noses touched and Nekohiko's sight blurred trying to see Abihiko's features before him.

The proximity was powerful. Disorienting.

They were drinking each other's breaths.

"Why are you so dumb?" Abihiko whispered at him, pained. "Why. Why?"

I am not. I am merely... hopeful.

And scared.

"I wanted to make sure you would not be executed," he murmured back. "I was fully ready to beg him, to bargain, to blackmail him... as long as he let you go. I--"

--cannot handle even the idea of something horrible happening to you.

It blinds me. It horrifies me. It destroys me.

Instead of a coherent reply, Nekohiko reached up, twining both his arms around Abihiko's neck. He opened his lips as though pleading for a kiss that he wasn't sure Abihiko would give -- so livid Abihiko still looked.

But Abihiko let him. His eyelids lowered, eyelashes long on his cheeks. His skin just subtly flushed with high emotions. His breath -- hot and gentle, mingling with Nekohiko's as their mouths met.

As their tongues fluttered, tangling when Abihiko's sudden hunger overpowered him. Abihiko crushed him from the above, slowly taking over all of Nekohiko's thoughts and freedom of movement.

Ahhh, the heady battle for domination that was this kiss! Nekohiko didn't have time to breathe -- and no chance to move and break it. Abihiko slowly clasped his hands over his face, choking all air out of him. With his caresses, with his yearning, with his subtle grinding against Nekohiko's body.

Why had the two of them even gotten their clothes back? Already, Nekohiko felt the cool air of the room wandering over his shoulders and upper chest as Abihiko tugged his shirt off. The hot, slender fingers caressed the skin that Nekohiko didn't feel as his own... but nonetheless, one that let him enjoy the touches without them being too overstimulating as before had always been.

He stilled, listening in to the sensations, and savored the goosebumps rising along the skin.

With a rough gesture, Abihiko jerked Nekohiko by the legs to lie lower on the bed. Like a doll, honestly. Nekohiko let out a huff, wishing to reprimand him again -- but already Abihiko claimed his mouth. And all of Nekohiko's words got drowned out in moaning, unable to fight Abihiko off.

"You -- so relentless," Nekohiko breathed once Abihiko broke the contact. Dizzy, he didn't resist when Abihiko pulled all of Nekohiko's layers to the sides -- opening him up like a candied piece of fruit on its wrapper. A few quick motions, and Abihiko untied Nekohiko's pants, leaving Nekohiko fully exposed underneath him. The trembling, goosefleshed torso -- the lean stomach, the vulnerably naked hips and the slightly-pink cock.

It was hard with just a bit of kissing and tossing, as though this was all it took for Nekohiko to get in the mood. Which was not true!

But today...

Well, maybe.

Today was weird, and he had missed Abihiko so much, believing he might never see him again...

Abihiko's eyes were shameless in their delight as he leaned back to thoroughly appreciate the view. In sudden shame, Nekohiko tried to press his legs back together and pull his pants up with his hands gingerly, but Abihiko restrained him. So cross. So commandeering.

Not letting Nekohiko take any control of what was going on.

Himself, he did not look like he was undressing, which was somehow quite unsatisfying.

Nekohiko protested. "Show me yourself, too, you pervert! I want to see--"

"No."

...

No? But--

Abihiko's fingers dug into Nekohiko's thigh. Not painfully -- but deep enough to leave a mark on the tender skin. His hands spread Nekohiko legs further apart, enough to push his hips and his bulging front against Nekohiko. One preliminary tense grinding motion against him -- and Nekohiko startled, arching underneath.

The size of Abihiko's cock... yeah, he remembered it vividly even if he hadn't laid eyes on it tonight. He could sense it, anticipate it.

He trembled with just the idea of it so close against him without Abihiko showing it. Abihiko bent lower to Nekohiko's face, looming over him as though wishing to swallow his frame with his own. His long hair slunk from over his shoulder, ends tickling Nekohiko's face from the above -- streaming down beside him like a curtain.

Allowing only Abihiko's pale face, twisted in a stern expression, to fill his vision.

Nekohiko gulped, his throat parched.

"No," Abihiko repeated, rougher.

"But how would we--" Nekohiko began. He was too baffled to understand. Did sex with their lower parts not imply... Abihiko to be undressed, too?

Why would he not?

Abihiko quickly squeezed the tiny lid of the oil vial with his teeth and uncorked it. Nekohiko's eyes widened as he tried to follow his motions, but Abihiko was too deft and experienced with them. Everything he did was so swift, Nekohiko's addled brain could not comprehend what was going on.

Abihiko overturned the vial onto one of his hands and discarded the vial after a good amount of oil dribbled on his fingers. Then he dabbed his fingers against each other, lifting his hand to his mouth to breathe hotly on it, as though to warm up. But even as he did all this, his other hand now roamed freely down Nekohiko's neck to his chest.

His fingers were light and flitting -- not meaning to pinch or mince Nekohiko's skin. But rather -- only to tease it like a feather's touch.

And it was already quite sensitive, making Nekohiko stiffen and dash his hands against Abihiko's chest as though to push him off. His breath shallowed and, appalled, he gave Abihiko a displeased look.

"What the hell---mmmm..."

The tickling motion against the skin of Nekohiko's chest never went away, softly circling around his nipples in a maddening tease. Nekohiko forgot all about it when Abihiko assaulted his mouth again in a feral kiss. Then, without leaning away even for a moment, this kiss gravitated onto Nekohiko's earlobe -- to his jawline, then in ravaging passion -- to his throat.

All of this was so powerful, Nekohiko's voice gave out half-cries of indignation, half-gasps of euphoria as he succumbed to whatever the hell Abihiko was doing to him.

His nipples hardened from the doubled attack on his body and the dizzying contrast of lustful kisses and shy caresses of Abihiko's fingers. So lost Nekohiko became that he didn't notice when--

"Ahhhhhmmm," he groaned, unable to restrain himself.

Abihiko's fingers finally went back to touching him there... down below. But not at all where Nekohiko wanted him to touch so desperately.

His cock was already twitching with the rush of blood that throbbed with each heartbeat. It wanted Abihiko's fingers to curl in around it and squeeze it in his hot grip. It wanted Abihiko's lips on it, too -- anything. Nekohiko almost began grinding against Abihiko's own taut member to relieve himself. But the bastard wasn't letting him indulge himself.

He was not touching Nekohiko's needy erection. He shifted aside to not allow him to rub against him and savor Abihiko in this way. Instead, Abihiko's busy fingers found their way back to his buttocks, focusing solely on the ridge between them.

But not like he'd done before.

Now, he clearly had a goal with his motions. And the slick warmth of the fragrant oil on his fingers as he traced the rim of Nekohiko's anal opening only clued Nekohiko in to why the oil was needed, in the first place.

But he had no chance to react. Caught between doubt and fright and curiosity, Nekohiko tightened his hands around Abihiko's back, pulling him in closer. Not just with his arms. His legs, spread apart so shamelessly by Abihiko -- now circled Abihiko's waist, clenching. As though urging... as though signaling that he was intrigued and expectant, too.

His expectations weren't quite successful, though.

His breath hitched and his grip stiffened against Abihiko's shoulders every time Abihiko's fingertips came a bit too close to be inside. But he never did.

He was stroking him, there and back again, as though only getting him used to the sensation. And all the while, he never stopped his steady assault on Nekohiko's neck and chest and lips -- shifting easily between them. And with so many things going on at once, Nekohiko lost track of Abihiko's play on his body.

He felt like some toy Abihiko was exploring to his heart's content, both with his hands and eyes. A trembling, hot mess of a toy.

When Abihiko's breath tickled his ear with a sultry murmur, Nekohiko almost didn't notice.

"Slow down your breath, it will feel nicer."

...

What will feel nicer?

Then Nekohiko realized -- once Abihiko's finger, smooth and silky with oil, gently slipped into his backside entrance... without Nekohiko knowing!

How? When?

The feeling wasn't that bad. Just sudden. And bizarre. But with how relaxed and dazed Nekohiko had become in Abihiko's expertly hands, he didn't even struggle against it.

"Shhh, it's just a pinky," Abihiko soothed him, and the slick yet relentless sensation of something sliding into Nekohiko's anus deepened. "Only to get you acquainted with the feel of it."

"Haaahh!" Nekohiko jolted, unaware of what to do. He fumbled in Abihiko's arms. But his mouth was covered by Abihiko shortly, once again taking him under his full control.

"It's not bad, is it? Breathe slowly. And it should not be unpleasant at all."

"No, it isn't. But..." Nekohiko accepted the slow and steady motion as Abihiko gently invaded him, without a single unpleasant sensation adding to it. Nekohiko was even baffled with how casual and not-uncomfortable this was. He frowned, stunned. "It's just a pinky. What about...?"

"Mmm?" Abihiko gave him a half-lidded stare, full of smugness.

What about your cock? The size difference between that and a pinky is just--

"We'll need more oil, if so," Nekohiko whispered against Abihiko's lips, easing back and accepting whatever Abihiko was doing to him. He felt that, after the few first motions, Abihiko changed the prodding finger to another one -- but with all the fondling and teasing going on elsewhere, Nekohiko still didn't feel discomfort at the change.

He took everything Abihiko did to him, only slightly shivering with the awkward fear of something going wrong.

But so far -- nothing did.

"The oil already inside you is enough," Abihiko told him in a domineering whisper. In response to it, Nekohiko flinched again, and Abihiko had to press down on him when Nekohiko's tender insides clenched around his finger. "Shhh, don't you trust me?"

I do!

But the mere idea of your monster cock going inside me like this is not something that depends solely on trust!

It also depends on logic!

And just... human sanity. That thing just cannot go inside with this amount of oil--! Or... any amount, really...

Nekohiko gaped, stilling in Abihiko's arms like a terrified kitten. "Well... I guess. We are Binders, after all. So we don't need oil. We can just remove friction and any pain aspects with magi--aaah!"

All of a sudden, Abihiko propped himself to give him a hard look. His fingers, so relentless in their prodding and massaging and stretching out Nekohiko's tender anus -- slipped out as well.

"Magic?" Abihiko winced. "Neko, if you cannot do this without magic, you are probably not qualified to do this at all."

...

Somehow, that stung.

What kind of sex elitism was this?

Nekohiko stared back in dejection. "I am sorry, but your dick cannot go inside me just like this. If you think it can, then... well, you are insane."

Abihiko sneered, visibly entertained and angry at the same time. "My dick? What does this have to do with my dick?"

"Everything." Nekohiko felt lost. Especially now that Abihiko was not touching or kissing or kneading his body which -- once Nekohiko took a brief glance down -- was covered with the reddened patches of rubbed skin and bruised marks of sucking and nibbling. He leaned into Abihiko as though trying to lure him back into doing all these things anew. "If you put it inside me like you just did with your fingers, then--"

"I won't."

The rejection was quick and lethal.

It nearly hurt, so abrupt it was.

"Neko, I am not insane. I know you have never done this, and I know about the size difference. Do you think I am stupid or blind?" Livid, Abihiko smirked, pushing himself on top of him again. As menacing as ever in his velvety, seductive flair. "Or perhaps you think I am a beast who would brutalize you on your first time ever? Without training your body for it, first? Without letting you ease into it to help you enjoy it more? Mmm? Is that what you like seeing me as?

"A predator?" His whisper rumbled, deep in his throat as he lowered his lips against Nekohiko's sensitive earlobe. "A sex beast and a villain, huh?"

As though emphasizing his words, Abihiko slipped his hand down Nekohiko's slippery, backside ridge, entering his hole without so much as a warning.

But -- used to his tender teasing as Nekohiko was -- the opening accepted his fingers without trouble. Nekohiko didn't even clench his muscles, so welcoming he was to this kind of touch.

"N-no..." It was hard to breathe evenly when Abihiko was sliding his fingers -- more than one?! -- in and out so slowly while distracting Nekohiko with his kisses against his ear and neck. But Nekohiko forced himself to focus. "I just want you to enjoy it, so--"

"Who said I am not enjoying this?" came the mocking reply. "You coming with my toying with you like this will be plenty enjoyable, you can rest assured."

"Coming? Yeah right," Nekohiko began saying.

He was so certain he knew what the deal was. That Abihiko had to be inside him to get his pleasure from the encounter. Perhaps like a man would with his wife as all the educational manuals about consummating a marriage had taught Nekohiko to believe.

He didn't even expect or hope to come himself, from such a method.

He was curious about it, and he did enjoy being touched and smothered under Abihiko's thoughtful care. But it was not something he could orgasm from. While pleasurable, this was not for him to crave climactic release from.

But rather than explain this to Abihiko, he caught Abihiko's free hand that was kneading his buttocks -- and tried to nudge it toward his dick instead. The part of his body so clearly ignored by Abihiko all through the encounter. But one that needed him the most.

Yet when he did, Abihiko twisted his hand free. And ignored Nekohiko again. Worse still -- he didn't allow Nekohiko to stroke himself either!

All in all -- Abihiko utterly abused Nekohiko's poor cock by refusing to touch it or deal with its growing dissatisfaction. It twitched, hot and sticky with escaping precome, against Abihiko's abdomen. Demanding and angrily-pink.

"Hey -- if you want me to come, then stop ignoring me!" Nekohiko raged.

His desire to fight reignited inside him, but just then --

Something else happened.

Something that sent a shock of pleasure so strong up his spine that his vision almost whitened and a cry of pure lust erupted from his throat. His back arched against the bed silk, without him realizing what went where and why.

...

It was lightning-strike-sudden.

And intense.

And heavenly, and sinful at the same time. Hot drizzles of semen pulsed out of his twitching penis, staining his and Abihiko's clothes, spraying Nekohiko's stomach.

It was... ahhhh...

"Abi...hiko," he could only gasp, losing himself into the sensations that caused his whole body to tighten and arch and tremble. And yearn for more.

Without any choice in the matter.

The only thing he knew was that it came not from Abihiko touching his cock. Not at all. It came from the other side, with Abihiko's experienced fingers making their careful, yet steady assault against Nekohiko's back opening.

Making him edge toward orgasm with only the merest of touches.

But in very right places.

"You were saying--?" Abihiko's voice urged him on and on, punctuating his words with all those tiny, maddening motions he was so obviously good with.

Like the bastard he was.

 

 

---

***

 

Nekohiko curled inward, nuzzling the nook between Abihiko's shoulder and neck. Sweaty, worn out, he couldn't do much more than this.

His breaths heaved and his mind, clouded with the fast release, only reached out for the most crucial question.

"What was that?"

He felt Abihiko's bullying victoriousness from the very pause Abihiko took before answering. "What did you think it was? You clearly enjoyed yourself. Which is the point, you know?"

"But... you didn't go inside me and didn't come! And I thought only you would, from this position. Also... now we need to take care of you. You didn't get your pleasure yet."

Abihiko crushed him, once again pressing Nekohiko down with his weight. Stealing his breath, stifling his motions. Claiming him as he watched Nekohiko's face from up close.

"Pleasure is not just the orgasm, dummy. It's all the rest of it, too."

...

Nekohiko glared, slowly trying to extricate himself from Abihiko's trapping hold. "Now I want to try with your dick inside me. I can take it! Come on--"

"You are so clueless, sometimes I wonder if you're faking it," Abihiko told him dreamily, refusing to budge. "And no. You can't take me in, especially right now. You just came, your sensations will go overboard and make every touch there unpleasant for a while. You dummy. Also? You want me to be with this body of yours? A sex doll's? Just how low your opinion about my preferences is?

"You and I can get your real body back. Why would I ever want to do it with this one instead?"

Displeasure made its way to Nekohiko's head from the haze of sated calm that had reigned over him moments ago.

"But I want you to come now, too. That's only fair. Let me... at least do the same thing you just did to me."

"Shhhh." Abihiko's mouth finally stretched out in something more than just the enraged grin of before. He smiled at Nekohiko, triumphant. "I won. You lost. Now savor your defeat, husband."

"..."

What... defeat?

What was this?

"So you think it's all right to do to me, but it's confusing when I do the same to you?" Abihiko squinted, vengeful. "Last time we had sex, you didn't let me enjoy your climax -- so hey. It's only fair I won't let you enjoy mine."

"So-- insolent! You--"

Nekohiko growled, tackling him and rolling him over in a show of dominance. He half wanted to bite him again or kick him just for the sake of it, but he was spent and doing anything so active was no longer as exciting as it had been when the two of them had only broken in these rooms.

All his anger had been tempered, blown off with the romp. Only the vague displeasure remained, but even that was more mired with uncertainty.

He straddled Abihiko, looking down as though interrogating. "Did you notice that the Marriage Bond allows us to fight and even hit each other?"

Abihiko arched one eyebrow -- on that side of his face where the obvious reddened hit of Nekohiko's punch still bloomed. "What? Noooo, how could you tell?"

Nekohiko ignored the cheekiness. "I wonder why it stopped protecting us from each other while still channeling your heartaches so loyally into my heart. I remember we speculated that the protecting quality of the Bond only lasts for the newlyweds, during the honeymoon. Does it imply our honeymoon phase is over?" He cast a look around him for the first time as though surprised they were in the same bedroom as a month ago -- no longer fighting to death but...

The opposite.

"The ritual seclusion array should have stopped working too, if so, but it seems it didn't."

"You also ventured a guess that the Marriage Bond's protection only lasts before the newlyweds consummate their marriage," Abihiko pointed out. "I guess we have consummated the marriage so often that the Bond doesn't care what we do to each other anymore. Mmm?"

Nekohiko didn't notice how Abihiko's hands lay back on his hips as though securing Nekohiko on top of him. As though willing him to stay there regardless of Nekohiko's wishes.

Which was annoying.

Nekohiko was on top because he chose to! Not because Abihiko let him, tch...

"So two times is considered 'often' now?" Nekohiko leaned in as though threatening. "I am reminded once again how I destroyed this room. Just because you aggravated me so much. Because you weren't telling me the truth. Because you refused to explain yourself. And you know what? I don't think any of those things changed that much in the last month. You are still disobedient. And still don't tell me what I want to know even though you promised--"

His voice echoed in the room, clashing with the utter silence of the hollow space. Shadows and dust motes swirled, making the quarters feel almost sinister. Reminding Nekohiko of all the dangers he and Abihiko still faced.

They had gotten rid of some of them, sure.

But not the most important ones...

"You said you would tell me all the truth I want to know at the Trial. But the defense you made was for other people! Not me. All the things you have told them, I already knew and suspected! Yet when I wanted to ask you to open up to me -- you just left! You let them take you away and all the truth with you!"

"Neko."

Abihiko's hands steadied him, holding Nekohiko's waist like fetters. His voice, calm and low, cut through Nekohiko's budding aggravation, stilling him in his place.

"What do you want to know?" Abihiko asked him, gentle.

 

 

---

***

 

 

After a whole month of waiting and then being cheated out of his promised truths, Nekohiko was stunned at such an open question.

What did he want to know? Hells...

Everything.

And nothing, it seemed.

After the Black Ship Forest, after Okinaga announcing at the Trial that Nekohiko had murdered Kazuragi and Hinokuma... all while Nekohiko did not remember a single of those atrocious, horrible things...

Truly, Nekohiko found it easier to understand why Abihiko had hidden the facts from him all this time.

Yet still...

Softly, Nekohiko cupped Abihiko's face, putting his forehead against Abihiko's. He closed his eyes.

"I feel like I want to tell you something you need to know instead."

"...?" Abihiko blinked.

"I trust you. Whatever you are doing, you are doing it for my sake. And while I do want to understand what happened and why... I don't want to know what horrifible things I have done," he whispered.

"Neko. You never did a single horrible thing. It wasn't you. I am dead certain about it."

...

All right, that was a bit too much.

Nekohiko chuckled, tired. "How can you really know?"

"I do. That moment, when Suminoe was killed -- and your Spiritside seal was unleashed inside you, I saw how you reached out to Sakai to lift the Utsuro seal as well." Abihiko sipped a hard, long breath as though preparing for a plunge. "You were still yourself when the Spiritside seal opened in you. You were maddened with grief, you were lost... you wanted to do anything in your power to lift Suminoe from the dead. I saw it.

"I knew it was you. All of you. Desperate and broken and at the end of your wits. But still yourself. Even as the first hints of the daze you always get after unlocking the seals settled over you. Your gaze was cloudy and your motions became slurred, weak. Just like you had been when every other seal was unlocked on you! I recognized it! But then, after Sakai accepted your hand and opened the Utsuro seal..."

Abrupt, Abihiko grimaced as though pained. "Something else happened. It wasn't just a seal opened -- what he had done to you. It was... Splitting. He Split something deep within you. He did, I am sure of that. But even though I saw the exact moment when he did, I could not explain it to others. Everyone else who was there with us -- Okinaga, Morokata, Hinokuma, Kazuragi... whoever was present denied that Sakai did something wrong. They all said they didn't see anything. And thus, I was the only one who... thought that.

"I... felt as though I am going insane because I immediately saw the changes in you. But when I cried out to Sakai, demanding he fixed whatever he did -- nobody believed me."

Nekohiko listened, hushed. Abihiko's voice was quiet, almost murmury -- but laced with so much disbelief and hurt, Nekohiko felt he was screaming.

"I thought I am going insane. You were... different. You were wrong. Yes, even dazed and numb as you always were after the Seals -- I still saw the stark difference. Everyone else said that it's just the Seals, influencing you. Power, controlling you, overtaking you as it had with all the previous Emperors. But, Nekohiko?

"No," Abihiko told him simply. "Perhaps I was out of my mind, perhaps I was delusional and paranoid like they all said I was, but I know what I saw. Sakai Split one of your First-rate Aspects right in front of everyone. And that was what caused the Imperial powers to overwhelm you five years ago. That. Not you losing control. Not you succumbing to your powers. Not you going insane with the Spirits.

"It was a ploy, and even if I can't prove it -- I still stand by what I saw and the truth. I don't know why, but I am so certain--"

He was almost rambling, so driven he was with trying to explain his beliefs to Nekohiko.

But Nekohiko didn't need to hear it to be on his side.

Nervous, Nekohiko smiled, holding Abihiko's face in both his hands as though to calm him down.

"You are not insane or delusional. You probably saw it because that's in your blood, to be able to see," he said, quiet. Abihiko dwindled down, eyes freezing on Nekohiko's in confusion. "The thing I wanted to tell you about -- is this, Abihiko. Aomi found out about the heritage of your family, and you... seem to be a blood-born Utsuro."

"Utsuros don't have heritage," Abihiko pointed out.

"They do. They just do it out of sight, away from common knowledge. And all the evidence points to you being the actual Utsuro heir, Abihiko."

...

"Wait, what?"

Oh, this would take too long to explain. But it wasn't as though they didn't have plenty of time, huh? Trapped and already on the bed, as though only waiting for some bizarre version of pillow talk to begin.

With a sigh, Nekohiko crashed beside him on the pillows and started speaking.

And contrary to their usual talks, Abihiko did not interrupt or even annoy him that much. Actually, he behaved perfectly. He listened.

And waited.

And accepted everything that Nekohiko told him about the lost and denied history of the Utsuro family. All the scraps Aomi had found for them.

Far away beyond the walls of their rooms, the sounds of some looming threats roared. The deep earthly rumble, the clashes of Binding powers that the two of them felt through the Spiritside.

Towa, Nagare, Hira.

The fighting out there still went on. And part of Nekohiko yearned to join them and break them apart. But he could not.

Not alone, at least. He needed Abihiko by his side, and Abihiko was too dangerously exhausted to allow him into the battle at this moment.

Now was their waiting time. Now was the time they rested before ever coming out. Besides, all the people currently fighting wanted Nekohiko dead.

So yeah, he was not as keen on coming out to greet them. Not at all.

It didn't mean that the noise of the furious battles outside did not reach Nekohiko or was easy for him to ignore. He just kept his focus elsewhere.

"Aomi thinks Morokata and Sakai want to take down the Empire. The entire concept of our Empire along with the Spirits, perhaps," Nekohiko said, shaking his head in disbelief. "That's why all their plans with the non-Binder revolution are so well-supported across the land. I don't know or understand why they want to bring ruin to the Empire, but they do. They despise the Imperial dynasty. They loathe our reign. They hate... the Spiritway, perhaps? Which is so odd because of how self-destructive it is, but--"

"Utsuro is nothing is not self-destructive, to be fair," Abihiko whispered, sounding hollow.

Nekohiko skewed his eyes at Abihiko's pale, gaunt face with the traces of the Binder's corruption lining his temples and almost edging to his cheeks. Spreading. Increasing...

"You don't say," Nekohiko mocked.

"And Morokata," Abihiko went on, pretending he did not hear the taunt. "Who the hell knows. That man is a leech. If he thinks he can latch onto someone stronger and benefit from it, he will. Whether or not he has his own ideologies, or beliefs, or even goals -- does not matter. He will sacrifice all of them if need be. He will adapt, whatever the cost."

"Mn."

...

The silence felt cozy when both of them could speak freely about things they had kept to themselves for so long. Nekohiko smiled.

"So when Okinaga said I murdered Hinokuma and Kazuragi--"

"That's bullshit," Abihiko cut, once again igniting with open anger. "You didn't. Do not doubt yourself for a second. There are actual perpetrators of these crimes, Neko. Those that Split your mind and memory and abused the shifts that had caused in you. They are the ones who should be persecuted and blamed for what happened to Kazuragi and Hinokuma, or the Black Ship Forest or... whatever else. Not you."

His hand tightened on Nekohiko's fingers to the point of dull boneache.

"Never you," Abihiko repeated, grimmer.

...

"How did you get this Binder's corruption?" Nekohiko rolled closer, still hungry for more things he needed to know. He threaded his fingers through Abihiko's silky hair, coiling several strands on his pinky. Lovingly, he caressed Abihiko's features with his gaze, finding it only so much more tragic that Abihiko's serene beauty was so gravely touched with the expanding Corruption.

All these darkened veins, the blood he was coughing up -- colored black and tainted. The health that was clearly deteriorating however much the two of them had tried to heal it back in Ise.

"You said Sakai Split some aspects within me. But now, I don't feel anything Split, to be honest." Nekohiko dropped his gaze, anguished. "I do feel and act normally, right? Or... do I still feel wrong to you in some way?"

A hue of tenderness softened Abihiko's expression.

"You are pure you, as you should be, Neko. Don't you worry."

Every time Abihiko called him pure, Nekohiko could not help but recall how much dirt everyone was pouring onto Abihiko on his way to the Palace through the city. How malevolent, vile, and disturbing everyone thought Abihiko was. This bizarre comparison frustrated Nekohiko to no end.

"But how did I manage to recover from Sakai's spell?" Nekohiko pushed on. "That would take an enormous amount of effort, to undo Splitting of such a high order."

And I am not sure you, at your young age at that time -- could have done that without hurting yourself deeply.

Ending up with Corruption as the eternal painful consequence.

For me.

...

"It's fine. My Corruption has nothing to do with you," Abihiko said stiffly, and Nekohiko flared up.

"Eeeh? Even if you don't like talking about it or reasons of why you had done it to yourself -- look at you, for Heaven's sake! You seem like you're dying! Of course it has everything to do with me regardless of how you got it!"

"I'll be fine. Stop fussing."

UGH.

"Hells, that fucking Spirit Tree in the Palace -- is also Corrupted into oblivion! So yeah, I do think it has something to do with me," Nekohiko snapped. "And you said you will tell me everything I want to know, so dammit -- deliver, or--"

"I am sorry, Neko, but if you think that Binding thousands of innocents into a bloody forest -- won't end up in Corruption, then I don't know what to tell you. Yes, it is your Spiritual Corruption. One that ended up in your body because of how many 'atrocities' you have committed at the height of your powers." Abihiko groaned in disbelief. "Two plus two -- isn't it obvious? Your body had been so thoroughly awash with all these Corrupted energies that you would have died anyway. Part of why I chose to kill you back then was because your body was a goner. Even when I put your soul into the Tree, the Tree began rotting and succumbing to Corruption. A damn Tree. You know how strong and healthy those things are.

"I had to cut it into chunks to preserve at least some shred of your soul that would be pure of Corruption and Sakai's insidious spell clinging to you. I had to purify whatever parts of the Tree I could get that seemed free of the tainted magic. And... well, yes -- I got hit with it, too. What do you want me to say!

"That it was hard? You do the math, of course it was. Do you want me to say I regret doing it? Hell no. I would do it again in a flash if I had to.

"What else do you want to hear!? That I did it to earn your gratitude or appreciation or forgiveness? Well, I did not. Now fuck off, I told you everything you had to know, so stop bothering me."

...

Nekohiko narrowed his eyes, feeling oddly warm yet sad. Even blissful.

A contradictory, maddening mixture.

"Then why did you do it?" he asked, creeping back onto Abihiko as though tempting. "If not for my gratitude?"

Abihiko's brows furrowed, his mouth turning downward in the most disappointed of looks.

"Please don't tell me you think I did it for this," Abihiko said, eyeing with distaste Nekohiko's attempts to seduce him.

"For the married 'happy times' with your Bonded husband? You did not?" Nekohiko tried to pout, knowing full well he failed with how sour Abihiko looked. "I am ready for another round."

"Neko! There is probably a revolution going outside right now, and you... want to have rounds in here?"

"You said you don't want to enter me in this body. But --" and Nekohiko lowered his lips to Abihiko's ear, in a mirror-reflection of how Abihiko had teased him with his whispers earlier, "-- we can do it the other way around, too, you know?"

...

For the first time in this discussion, Abihiko did not sound dismissive or annoyed.

He rather sounded intrigued.

"Neko, we need rest," he said as though convincing himself more than Nekohiiko. "We have to come out of here and fight no less than all Five of the Great Lords. And the sooner we get to sleep and recover, the sooner we will be able to fight."

"You are right. Absolutely right," Nekohiko said.

But still kept touching all the things he shouldn't.

Because, honestly, they did have to rest.

And what better rest to have than this one?