Ch.22: Determination (3/5)
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It was already afternoon, and here I was, sitting around… I took a deep breath and sighed harshly. As if that gave me the answer I needed, I decided to do what I usually do when I’m feeling restless. I shook off the exhaustion, and I began cleaning the house.

 

 

I washed the windows, did the dishes, washed clothing, and picked up clutter…all so I wouldn’t think about that night with me and Mari-san. It wasn’t time to go backward anymore…I had to keep moving forwards, just as Hana-chan was doing.

It wasn’t until around 4 PM when mom and Mari-san came back in. As they stepped through the door, mom rushed in first in a seeming panic.

“Madoka! Where’s Hana?!”

Mom cried as she looked about. She searched under the couch like Hana-chan was a dust bunny or something. That made me giggle as I pointed up the steps.

“Ah…she’s resting, mom.”

There I was, on my knees wiping the floor now with a towel. It felt like a diligent maid. I had a rag over my shoulder now as I relentlessly cleaned the home.

Only by them coming home did I become aware of how long I’ve been going at it for now. If someone was watching this entire time...I might have really earned the title of being a neat freak. But I’m not a neat freak! …I’m not.

“You have work soon and you already spent the day cleaning, Madoka-san?”

Mari-san questioned as she walked through the door. She hovered over me, and she tilted her head. That silky black hair of hers fell to the side, making her look a tad...cool in my eyes. But I kicked that image out of my mind when she started approaching her favorite couch.

“Eh, take off your shoes before you step inside, Mari-san! You have a bad habit of tracking the floor!”

“Ehh?!”

She cried as she did just that.

“I’m going to check on my baby!”

Mom screamed in an overly aggressive manner as she made her way up the steps…leaving Mari-san and me alone at the bottom of the stairs.

“…I told her everything, Mari-san… About us.”

I confessed as I put my towel down.

“…I see.”

She nodded as she turned to the side.

“I…I mentioned to Ayumi that I have some things I’d like to talk to her about soon. That’s why she’s been…a little on edge recently. I…just really want her to understand when I confess to her.”

I figured as much. So, all I did was nod. I wanted to take her hand and comfort her, but that would be inappropriate of me right now.

“…You’re not alone, Mari-san. We both will…explain to them soon. So, just tell me when you’re ready. I know…you’re doing this for me in the end.”

“Madoka-san…”

She whispered my name, warmly.

“I’m…going to check on Hana. Don’t work too hard, alright?”

“Yeah…and hey, go easy on her. She’s…trying to wrap her feelings around everything right now. I mean, in a way, we’ve been lying right to her.”

“…Yeah, I know. She deserves a better mother.”

 

 

Mari-san’s shoulders slumped as she ridiculed herself. How I hated hearing those words from Mari-san as if she was belittling herself. She’s a great mother, a great person. One who would give up her feelings… For the happiness of the one she loves. How I wish…I could repay her kindness.

After mom and my...stepmother checked on Hana-chan, they both came back down and began making dinner. I finished cleaning and made my way into the bathroom to freshen up before work. It was strange how quiet the house became now. I decided to wear the same clothes from the other day. The mature attire from when I went to help Mari-san with her errands. After making sure I had all of my things, I went downstairs to meet Mari-san and mom for dinner. Hana-chan didn’t feel up to eating so Mari-san said she’d bring her a meal after she rested a bit more.

“How was work today?”

I asked, trying to break the tension. Mom shrugged and Mari-san did the same as they ate their meal.

“Nothing much happened, dear.”

“Pretty much the same old stuff.”

That’s when the fox perked up and tilted her head again.

“Saitou-san wanted me to tell you and Hana that she enjoyed the days at the onsen. You guys left a good impression on her.”

She giggled.

“And thanks to you, she was in a great mood. I got to slack off a bit more than usual.”

There she goes again, being lazy at her job. I scorned her behavior with a shake of my head.

“Madoka, did you speak with Saitou-san often while you were there?”

Mom questioned me to my surprise. She tilted her head at me and leaned forward a bit.

“Ah…yeah.”

“What did you two talk about?”

This sudden interrogation caused my heart to start beating audibly. I couldn’t tell her that it was Saitou Risa-san’s revelations that drove me to confront her. I…wouldn’t want mom to start questioning Saitou-san.

“We spoke about my job.”

“You forgot, Ayumi? Saitou Risa-san likes eating at the Red Roses.”

Mari-san jumped in and gave me a lifeline. Mom waited for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Oh, that’s right. Saitou-san is a regular at the Red Roses.”

Mom seemed to drop her suspicion as she continued eating her meal. That was a new side to my mom that I never had to deal with before. As if she…didn’t trust me in a different way now.

The oppressive atmosphere was nearly debilitating. Mari-san and mom weren’t teasing one another. After our relatively short meal, I stood up and made my way to the door.

“Thank you for the meal.”

I cried out as I put my shoes on to leave.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take the train and you guys won’t have to worry about anything.”

I confirmed as I touched the doorknob.

“Just be safe, Madoka!”

Mom held me in her arms before could leave. I wish I knew what was going through her mind as her grip became tighter to the point it worried me a little. She nuzzled her nose against my collar then kissed my cheek.

 

 

“Geez mom, I’m not a kid you know…”

“…I’m starting to see that, Madoka.”

She whispered. That caused my heart to throb. Never have I heard mom say anything like that. Maybe from our chat the other day…mom finally began to realize how much she’s been stifling my growth.

“See everyone later tonight.”

I closed the door. Despite only getting this job to give Mari-san a gift, I still wanted to change. So, I’ll put my all into my job just like I planned to. But that doesn’t mean my original plan had changed. I still want to get Mari-san that gift…despite me not wanting to pursue her as a romantic interest anymore.

There I rode the train as I waited for my stop at the shopping district. I wondered what Sophia-san and the others are going to say tomorrow. I’ve been gone for 4 days now. And with it nearly being December, midterms are coming up soon. I’ll…have to buckle down and remember everything for our 3-day exams.

“What an exhausting month it’s been.”

It felt like I’ve lived a lifetime during the time I woke up. But now it’s time for me to push forward. Starting with doing a good job today at work.

Once I made it in, the place was fairly light on customers. That’s when I spotted a certain someone at one of the tables. It took me by surprise as I walked over to her. She held a colored pencil with a cute bear head eraser in one hand as she colored away at a black-lined photo. She seemed to have a large book full of these pictures too.

“Nagumi-chan?”

She didn’t say a word. She just looked at me blankly.

 

 

“Nggn…”

Timidly, the little girl stood up and ran to the back.

“Eh? Hey, you can’t be back here, Nagumi. Go back out there right now!”

The agitated voice of a certain classmate rang out. That’s when she appeared from the back. Nagumi-chan had her arms wrapped around her older sister’s hips.

“What are you so upset about? Eh?”

She turned to see me.

“Hey, look who it is. I didn’t think you’d make it to work today with you skipping school and all.”

 

 

“Oh please, you’re one to talk. Why is Nagumi-chan here, Okabe-san?”

“Can’t my little sister be here?”

She scorned, pushing the person in question back into her seat.

“Now stay here. I’ll get you a milkshake if you behave.”

“O-Okay…Onee.”

Silently, she continued coloring in her book. I looked closer at the picture now. It was a cartoon illustration of a cow. She was going out of the lines but that just added to the charm of the image.

“Is that a cow?!”

I questioned with enthusiasm. Nagumi-chan stopped for a moment and gave me a nod.

The cow was now a bright red color, and its spots were dark brown. The calf looked miserable, to say the least. Even so, Nagumi-chan had a shine in her eyes that was so cute I couldn’t help but watch her have fun.

“Ah…are you babysitting your little sister right now, Okabe-san?”

“It seriously isn’t any of your business. The boss said it’s okay for her to be here. I’m paying for anything she wants so don’t make this a big deal, got it, Nakagawa-san?”

Okabe snapped at me to my surprise. She then flipped her ivy hair and turned back towards the back of the restaurant.

“You clock in soon, Nakagawa-san. Go get ready. The boss expects it to get hectic soon.”

“R-Right.”

There’s something about Okabe-san that’s been bugging me for a while now. She feels more like a mother around her little sister than anything. So, before she could come back, I walked back over to Nagumi-chan and bent down. Once I met her gaze, my heart began to flutter.

“Hey.”

“…Hi.”

She was shy and super adorable. Just seeing her brought a smile to my face.

“You can ask me for anything, and I’ll get it for you.”

“…Anything?”

“Yep.”

She gazed at me for a moment then reluctantly, Nagumi-chan spoke up.  

“…But Onee said… that she can’t afford much.”

My mouth jawed slightly. How honestly, she admitted that surprised me. That’s when I realized that something…might be different about the two of them. But instead of prying too far into it, I petted her on the head. It was soft, almost fluffy despite being straight. It made me wonder how Okabe-san’s hair felt.

“…Don’t worry, you can have whatever you want.”

Even if I had to pay for it myself. She was super cute, and I wanted her to be happy. One could probably call this an escape from the reality of what was going on with my family. And they might be right. This was certainly a way for me to not think about my feelings about Mari-san…or how my family has to face this issue with our lies between one another…

So…

If only for a little…

Let me indulge in this simple life of making a child smile. Because children are simple, and right now…simple is what I want.

“Nakagawa-san! Stop drooling over my little sister and get dressed!”

My senpai screamed, causing me to jolt. Why did she have to have such a mean older sister? If I could, I would take Nagumi-chan and kidnap her, whisking her away into a world of cute things.

 

 

Maybe I’d take Hana-chan to that world with us. Oh, and if I could take away the crudeness from Conchi-san, she’d be there too. We’d be in a world of fluffy teddy bears and cherry music!

“I need to get dressed.”

I giggled.

I thought about all these strange things as I got dressed. The first half of the shift was stable as customers flocked in occasionally. Nagumi silently colored in her book without making much noise. At times, Okabe-san would come over to her and bring her small snacks and even that milkshake she promised her before.

It made me wonder why she wasn’t at home or the like. But I digressed. I don’t know much, if anything, about their family, and it was rude of me to speculate. So, instead of looking further into it, I focused on my work and checked up on Nagumi-chan every now and then too. After a couple of hours, the customers began to die down. The manager told me to go to break, and I did just that.

“Nagumi-chan!”

I cried as I raced over. When I made it to the table she wasn’t coloring anymore. In front of her looked to be schoolwork.

“Oh, is that math homework?”

She didn’t say anything, she just nodded adorably and began looking at the page again. From what I gathered it was simple addition and subtraction. There were a few multiplication questions on the page too but as I read more they seemed to be for extra credit.

“Do you want any help?”

All she did was stare at me blankly. I took her blank look for a definite yes and brought out a pencil.

“First question: 5 + 2.”

She took out her stubby hands and showed them to me. Without a word, she pointed to each digit on her finger. Once she reached her conclusion, she pushed her fingers to my nose.

“7…”

The correct answer pushed out from her tiny lips. I nearly leaped for joy when I heard her cute voice.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so adorable! So cute!”

I couldn’t control myself anymore. For a split second, I thought about getting a small baggy and taking her home with me when Okabe-san was still cooking in the back. But then reality set…that wouldn’t be a good image if I did something like that.

“Do you want me to keep helping you, Nagumi-chan?”

Again, wordlessly she nodded. So, I would read the questions to her and she’d use her small fingers to come to the answers. Sometimes she’d get them wrong, especially during the subtraction problems but we finished them together.

“Good job!”

I put my hand up. For a moment she looked at me until she slowly gave me a hi-five. Her gentle palm pressed against mine and that made me squeal internally. That softness of hers reminded me of how innocent she is. Nagumi-chan was simple...something I desperately sought out for right now.

“You look like a damn fool…”

That’s when her older sister, Bully-san came out from the back, likely to take her break. She held her apron in her hand as she sat across from her little sister.

“Are you done with your homework, Nagumi-chan? Here, let me see it.”

She did just that, and Okabe-san looked it over.

“Your handwriting needs work…but they are all correct.”

She then turned to me and tilted her head. That ivy fluffy hair didn’t change its position much. It reminded me of a tree bush now for some reason.

“You didn’t give her all the answers, did you Nakagawa-san?”

“Of course not! Nagumi-chan did most of them on her own. I only helped her with the difficult ones.”

I teased as I poked her nose. Unlike Hana-chan or Conchi-san though, she didn’t bite back. She took my playful teases…and that made me want to keep teasing her more.

“…Thanks then…I guess, Nakagawa-san.”

She sighed dejectedly. I couldn’t imagine what was going through her head to make her feel that way though. Her little sister got her work done. I didn’t do it to get a half-assed thank you from Okabe-san. Annoyed, I shrugged my shoulders and let it go.

“…Na…ga…-Onee?”

I turned to see Nagumi-chan stand up from her chair…slowly she approached me. Without another word, she wrapped her small hands around my hips. They squeezed tight as she nuzzled her small nose on my stomach.

“Aww…are you saying, ‘Thank you’ Nagumi-chan?”

I petted her head. At least this smaller version of Okabe-san had a chance to become a nice person. She looked up at me and for the first time since I met her, she had a smile on her face when she looked at me. Mission accomplished, I guess.

“Alright, enough. Now get over here and clean up your stuff, Nagumi-chan. I’m almost done working, and Nakagawa-san has to get back to work before our boss kills her.”

I pushed out my tongue in annoyance before dancing away. There would be no way Okabe-san would destroy my good mood now. That hug put me on a new level of happiness. It’s…been a while since I felt this carefree.

“Oh, is my favorite waitress here today?”

 

That’s when, like an arrow to the chest, the mature Saitou-san’s voice came in and caught me off guard.

 

 

“Welcome, Saitou-san!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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