“Alright, I’m leaving, Okabe-san.”

“Alright, see you at school, Nakagawa-san…finals are coming up...”

Okabe-san groaned as she went over to Nagumi-chan. She patted her head softly then turned back to me.

 

 

“Hey…thanks again. I promise I won’t ask you to do it again next time.”

"Oh, you don't have to worry about something like that, Okabe-san. I enjoy taking care of Nagumi-chan."

I rubbed my cheek. She was too adorable to not take care of. Sadly, she was sick right now, but her frailness added to her already timid nature, and it made me want to protect her all the more.

"No...I shouldn't be asking others to take care of Nagumi-chan. I'm glad that you're happy to help, but like your strange friend said...I wouldn't want you to resent me over it..."

She sighed as she coldly turned away and walked back into the kitchen. Okabe-san has her own problems…just like all of my friends and me. The only difference between us and her is we don’t openly mock or tell others about them. I’m beginning to wonder…What happened to Okabe-san that made her such a mean person? She’s clearly struggling with matters I have no idea about, and maybe…just maybe she needs help…But the way she is makes her all the more unapproachable. And that’s a little sad.

 

---

 

Now walking outside with Saitou-san, we walked nearly side by side. As we exited the mall, the cold wind instantly blew on us. To my surprise, she shielded me with her body as she wrapped her right arm around me.

“Oh…you don’t need to do that.”

“Ohhh, I know. You have soft shoulders.”

She giggled, letting me go.

“Are you taking the train again?”

“Heck no. My rides over here. You wanna ride back home with me, Madoka-san? We could make out at the stoplights. I can give you a bit of tongue too!”

“Ah…”

Her lips were close before she backed up and put her hands up.

“Just kidding! I’ll save that for our date.”

 

 

Holding the flowers in my hands, I nodded shyly.

“Okay, I’ll…see you later then, Saitou-san.”

It was starting to get harder to stay regular with her. She…knew how to pull my buttons.

“Oh, before you go, Madoka-san.”

She cried out.

“Yes?”

“How are we supposed to schedule a date? Should I drop by your home and serenade you from your bedroom window?”

Just the idea of Saitou-san rolling up in her fancy car, bringing out an instrument, and soothing my soul with her love songs caused my body to shake in embarrassment.

“I-I get it...here, put your number in my phone.”

“Ah, that’s much easier.” 

She snickered.

The Saitou’s are dangerous…more than I could have ever imagined. I won't lie though…it's not as though I didn't want her number on my phone. After a brief amount of time, she handed it back to me with a cutesy giggle. When I checked the name, she gave herself it read…

Saitou Risa [AKA The girl with the nice butt.]

“Night, night.”

She cried before showing me my name on her phone.

Nakagawa Madoka [AKA The girl who likes butts].

“Y-You better change that, Saitou-san! I swear!”

I cried, but she escaped into her car before I could throw something at her. She turned on the engine, looked out, and waved to me.

"See you later, the girl who likes butts! ~”

Giggling the entire way, she raced off down the street. She…was always good at leaving a good lasting impression.

“…So, I like butts. Who cares?”

I admitted, alone now. Never will I say that to anyone.

 

---

 

 

So once again, I rode the train back home alone. But I couldn’t help but go back to thinking about Okabe-san and her little sister. Saitou-san believed that Nagumi-chan is like Saya-san. Apparently, Saya-san went through some difficulties before the Saitou’s adopted her.

But that doesn’t disregard the fact of the kind of person Okabe-san is. If she was someone who’d really need help, wouldn’t she show more humility and ask for it?

“…Life isn’t that simple, not for anyone.”

I had to remind myself how complicated life is. People don't just act one way their whole lives. Perspectives change…and they change. How I wanted to break away from being that spoiled girl from the past that got everything she wanted…and not care for the feelings of others. Even my perspective has changed.

Slowly…I like to believe I’m changing. That’s why…

That’s why despite all the horrible things Okabe-san has done over the times that I've known her and before…I don't think I'm ready to call her my enemy yet. She may disregard the feelings of others and toss them away like trash…

“…But was Okabe-san always like that?”

Maybe something in her changed…making her believe that other people’s problems aren’t worth the trouble.

My mind calmed down as I leaned back into my seat. I watched the night pass by me. So, I took out my phone, and what instantly came to mind was Saitou-san’s dumb name on my phone.

“…She’s good.”

I admitted. She skillfully made me think about her when I reached for my phone. Not only that, but she also got my number, just like Saya-san said she would. Not really a prediction if she knew it was Saitou-san’s goal in the end. More like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

---

 

Once I got into the house, the lights were mostly off. It was late and everyone seemed to have a long day. However, the persistent typing from the living room could be heard. So, I set the flowers aside and walked in.

“…Hey, it’s not good to work on the computer with all the lights off.”

I teased, causing Mari-san to look at me. Her expression was one of shock and it took me by surprise. But then her lips curled into a charming smile.

“Oh, w-welcome back, Madoka-san.”

 

 

From the looks of it, she's been working on her document from work. Even late in the night, Mari-san was going and working. I could see her eyes gaze at the dahlia's that I set down. But she didn't mention it and continued to give me that relaxed smile.

“Hey…”

I’ve been thinking about it all day. The chat between Hana-chan and her mother. So, I sat on the couch next to her and asked.

“How…did your chat with Hana-chan go?”

For a moment, she stared at me blankly, but as if someone lit a dim candle in her eyes, she confessed.

“…Horrible...”

“…Oh, Mari-san.”

“She has every right to be mad at me…I lied to her.”

She turned back to the computer, eyes slightly watering.

“…I did my best and expressed myself as best as I could…but it wasn’t enough, and Hana is upset with me. When she asked me questions...I would try to give her answers...but I’d clam up and ultimately avoid them. I’m…going to try again soon, though.”

With a fake chuckle, she turned back to me.

“…Thanks for asking?”

How much my heart was twisting. It felt like at every turn of the corner, things were getting worse. After Saitou-san mentioned that she overheard them fighting…to Hana-chan apparently not liking her mother’s answer.

 

 

So, I did what I needed to and held her hand.

“Mari-san…you’re not in this alone, you know?”

“…”

She bit her lip and shook her head from side to side.

“…Yeah, I know. You told me that before…and I believe you…but I put this on myself…and I promise I’ll do better to keep this family alive.”

With determination, she looked back at me.

“So…for you, would you believe in me? Give me the strength to express myself better next time?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you all my strength.”

The moment was warm between us…how my hand wanted to greedily take more and pull her into my embrace, but I let go…no matter how much that hurt, I had to in order for both of us to be stronger. She looked at her hand blankly before asking…

 

“Madoka-san…”

“Yes?”

“…If you fell in love with someone else, would you tell me?”

 

How much this question stabbed my soul was apparent as I nearly clenched my heart. The blood in me moved slower as it turned cold. I certainly wasn’t ready to say I loved anyone else over Mari-san… Not even my time with Saitou-san right now would overshadow that…But one day if I distance myself from Mari-san...I’m sure eventually I’d find someone I say I love…

“…Would you want that, Mari-san?”

My voice shook as I asked. We met one another’s eyes.

“I just…want to be active in your life. I-I want to give you direction on what to do when things happen. Romantic advice…you know?”

 

“…Mari-san.”

Even now, she was truly on my side. Even though we couldn’t be at each other’s side romantically…she was on my side emotionally. How my eyes began to water...thinking about it.

“...Yes, I’ll tell you the moment I…I fall in love with someone.”

“Good.”

 

 

That’s when she rubbed my head.

“You’re beautiful and smart…don’t let others get you that easily. Make sure you learn who they truly are…before deciding if you want to be with them.”

Just like I did with Mari-san in the past, I’m sure…it may have taken me a while before I knew just what I wanted from her. And like she told me…it took her a bit before she realized that she wanted something romantic with me too, didn’t she? Mari-san…was giving me good advice on dating…even though, in her heart, she still wanted to be with me, wasn’t she? How…selfless of her. So much that it made me upset.

“Hey…you should get to bed, Madoka-san.”

“Oh, yeah, I will.”

“Okay….and Madoka-san.”

“Yes…?”

For a moment, she waited before taking a deep breath.

“I…I want to be honest with you…because I promised this to you.”

 

With teary eyes, she said something else that took me by surprise.

“You looked happy today…chatting with Saitou-bucho…”

 

 

My heart nearly stopped. What was she saying? Could it be that she…witnessed my short time with Saitou-san? But then it occurred to me that she and Hana-chan were out getting things for school and spending the day together…

Is that why she brought all of this up? Did she…see us around the mall together?

“I had a suspicion that Saitou-bucho was being…too friendly to you.”

Dryly, she laughed, but this wasn’t funny for her. Her fingers began hitting at the keys as she spoke once more.

“I-If you…ever need advice…I-I’m here for you.”

“Mari-san…”

She then turned back to me and gave me a wide smile.

“Oh, don’t take it the wrong way. I’m…I’m happy that you were enjoying yourself. It’s…been a while since I saw you enjoy yourself. And it’s probably all in my imagination, I’m sure.”

She chuckled…knowing she was lying to herself. I’m not sure what she witnessed as we milled about, but…it was causing her pain just seeing me…and someone else.

“So promise me…that if you do…fall in love…that you’d tell me so I can make sure…as your s-stepmother…that I can give you the proper advice?”

It felt as though a rock was lodged in my heart. I hated this…I hated all of this…not because of Mari-san…I just hated how love couldn’t be so straightforward. How it hurt what I was admitting to. But…this wasn’t just about me. Mari-san made a promise, not just to me but to everyone, that she'd work harder and do better…

 

“You’ll be the first to know.”

That’s when she set her laptop to the side, stood up, rushed over to me, and held me close to her. In the dark living room illuminated only by Mari-san’s laptop, she took her arms around me and rubbed her head on my shoulder.

 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I…I was so afraid you’d say no. I…I just don’t want to lose my place…in being there for you.”

“Mari-san…”

 

Abruptly, she let go and looked away.

"S-Sorry, I haven't been myself lately. I…I'm going to turn in early. I…think I need to rest."

After that, she closed her laptop and took out a blanket. She wasn’t going to her room to sleep. No, right now Mari-san made this her room…didn’t she? That…was never a good sign.

“…Good night, Mari-san.”

“Night, Madoka-san…and sorry for bringing up a strange topic.”

Without saying a word, I walked up the steps. When I reached Hana-chan’s room, I knocked on it. I hoped she wasn't asleep yet, and thankfully, she answered.

“Onee-chan?”

“Hana-chan…it didn’t work out between you two?”

For a moment, she waited before looking at the steps. With a pull of her hand, she guided me to her bed. There we sat, looking into one another’s eyes.

“Mom isn’t ready to say what’s on her mind, Madoka-chan. She…she was struggling to tell me the entire time what was going through her mind. And then when we saw you standing at the flower booth with Saitou-san…”

 

That’s when she leaned her head down.

“That’s when I noticed…how jealous mom was.”

“Jealous?”

 

 

“Yes...we saw you from above and...mom wouldn’t stop looking at you even when I was trying to get her attention.”

She sighed and gazed to the side.

“But what caught me off guard most...was the pained expression on her face. Mom...was hurting, Onee-chan.”

 

That took me back to the carnation incident between her and Yuko-chan. Mari-san destroyed them…out of jealousy.

Meaning Mari-san gets jealous when she sees the person she loves…with another. How that might be a negative quality to her…but an honest one throughout all the lies she weaves. 

“…I’m sorry, Hana-chan.”

She shook her head from side to side.

“No, I explained to her that I wasn’t upset…but I’m sure mom took that differently. I’m not upset about her not being able to express herself. Mom’s been like that her whole life…and I’ve witnessed people take advantage of her many times, Onee-chan. Mom…has every right to be on the defensive about things…”

She sighed.

“But what I'm upset about is how long it took me to realize she'd been lying about it… I…just wish mom would trust me…her real daughter.”

“Hana-chan.”

“…I want to get to know my mom, Onee-chan. I…want to know all the feelings behind her love for you. That way…I can see what to do.”

I held her to the side. In this cold night full of strange emotions, I wanted to give my little sister the strength she needed to keep fighting.

“We’ll figure this out together, Hana-chan.”

“…Yeah…I know we will.”

I gave her a kiss on the head and made my way to my room. At least one thing was certain now…

Hana-chan and I were officially on the same wavelength. We wanted what’s best for the people we love…what’s best for our family. So, hang in there a little longer, Mari-san. One day we will all get together, express ourselves clearly, and see where that path will take us. Because we certainly love one another, and it will be hard, but we will get through this.

 

“Yes, we will get through this.”

I parroted as I got undressed and lied in bed. Tomorrow was another day off, and I was ready to try and enjoy it to the fullest...

Despite how twisted my emotions are now...