Okabe Kasumi Perspective

“I’m hungry! I’m…so hungry, Onee-chan!”

In the middle of the kitchen floor, my little sister's hand was bleeding. She couldn't find a can opener and she attempted to use whatever she could to open it. Dad wasn't home, and only by the grace of whatever god I believe in did I come over to check in on her.

“Nagumi, that was stupid of you.”

I dabbed the rag smothered in alcohol on her wound. She pulled away, but I had to be the mean older sister if I wanted her to get better. After wrapping up her wound, I cleaned up the blood on the table.

“What a piece of shit…”

My vile words, directed at the careless father I had as I washed my little sister’s blood off the knife she found. I wasn’t mad at Nagumi, she doesn’t know any better. She’s just a stupid little girl who’s hungry…and was doing all that she could to get some food.

“Hey, I know it’s a little late, but…you wanna go get some food?”

Her eyes lit up, but equally, I could see she felt a bit guilty. It was a school night and already close to 10 PM. But if we went down to the store and picked up a burger or something cheap, it’ll be fine. So, I took her hand in mine, and we both left the dirty apartment.

 

 

“Hey…did dad say when he would be back tonight?”

“No…he told me to stay home and don’t answer the phone.”

I clenched her hand tighter. He likely wanted to avoid bill collectors or people that he owes money to. He's always been a waste of good air.

 

 

“How is mom?”

As if she took a cold knife and traced it alongside my heart, Nagumi brought up the coldest bitch I ever met. Just this morning, she got upset because she couldn’t keep up with the bills. Reactively, I touched my arm…

“She’s…the same, Nagumi.”

“…Did mom hurt you?”

“…I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

 

I held her hand all the tighter. It was the only warm thing in this world that I can appreciate now. As the months got colder, the world essentially did too. The night was calm as we made our way to the corner store with the streetlights guiding us like stars in the sky. We shared this small but captivating moment together.

“Kasumi…”

Out of her small lips, she called out my given name. It's been so long since I've heard it. At first, I didn't respond until much later.

"Oh, what is it, Nagumi?"

“…I want to live with you.”

I shook my head at her stupid words.

“No, you don’t…”

“But if I lived with you…I wouldn’t be alone.”

I squeezed her hand.

“If you lived with me, mom would hit you too. I think you’re better off being alone than being abused.”

I held her closer to me as we continued walking in silence. But Nagumi wouldn’t leave well enough alone as she spoke up again.

“…But I…I don’t want mom to hurt you.”

“Nagumi…shut up.”

I was firm, and it was effective, she didn’t speak again until we got to the corner store.

“Alright, pick up a bunch of stuff. You know how to make hot water and have cup noodles right?”

“Yeah…you taught me.”

“So, get a bunch of them…more than you can fit in your hands.”

I watched her run about the store, arms out, excited to get her hands on something to eat. She got juices, candies, and of course the noodles. Anything she could make on her own without her dad. After watching her run about for a few minutes, she came up to me with a basket of stuff.

“How much is that?”

It was…a lot. I almost didn’t have the amount to cover it…but I paid for it and we left the store.

“Did I buy too much?”

She questioned as I held her hand.

“No, you got just what you needed right?”

I petted her on the head.

"Now make sure you hide all that stuff in your room. Don't let dad take it from you; it's yours, not his."

She nodded. I could have afforded a lot more…but mom started taking most of my money from my wallet recently. The first time I opened my wallet and realized she stole from me…only solidified that I hated her that much more.

When I turned to my innocent little sister, she was already chewing away at some pocky from the box. I wanted to scold her but then I saw the bandage on her hand…

She’s nothing but a dumb kid who’s hungry. It wouldn’t be right if I yelled at her for feeding herself.

When we got to the apartment, we made our way up to the 2nd floor. The man I’ve known all too well with a white cigarette in his lips spotted us.

“Kasumi, what have I told you about taking Nagumi without permission?”

His rugged voice sounded like bricks being rubbed together. His lungs were full of ash, the tart smell of cigs and booze exuded from him.

"Sorry, dad…Nagumi was hungry and-“

“I don’t want your excuses, Kasumi. Nagumi, get in the house; it’s bedtime.”

He brutally ripped her bags full of joy from her as he ushered her into the apartment.

“Hey dad, that’s for Nagumi.”

“Whatever…”

Coldly, he shut the door, leaving me out in the elements alone. I had no way to get inside to make sure my little sister was going to be fed. All I could do is hope and pray that she is satisfied before school tomorrow.

“…I should have let her eat more before coming back. I’m…such a fucking idiot.”

Shamefully, I made my way back home. The long ride on the train always tired me out. My parents live so far from one another, and it only makes my day that much longer when I go and pick up Nagumi. After I got off the train, I made my way back home.

I unlocked my apartment door and quietly made my way inside. In the other room, my mom snored like a bear. Mom had been sleeping on the sofa lately. Probably too drunk and too exhausted to make her way to her room.

“Kasumi…is that you?”

“…”

I made my way to my door. I…wasn’t in the mood to deal with her tonight.

“I told you…to come home earlier from now on. Where were you?”

“…I was out with Nagumi.”

My hand was already on my doorknob. I should have been safe, but here I was…trembling like a little girl.

“Listen…I don’t need you fucking around, getting pregnant, and screwing up my life…”

Her speech slurred as she fell back asleep. I counted my blessings as I escaped into my room and tossed my bags against the wall.

“Screw up your life?”

I never wanted to hurt someone so bad in my life…but I calmed down and lied on my bed. My eyes were heavy and full of wasted tears. The last thought in my mind was something simple…

 

“Did Nagumi…get enough to eat?”

Before I drifted off to sleep…