Chapter 6: The delusional type tragedy protagonist

Noah in his first life was something different. It wasn't the kind of being different that was great. But as his first life as Noah, he found himself a little bit feeling estranged and he find himself lacking compared to other people.

People who was great in his world, like those geniuses and popular stars– Being Noel, he greatly admire them. He also feel a very deep feeling of jealousy deep inside himself.

He wish he was like them. Something different that was special and great.

Noel like to think what it feels to become that kind of something different. It must be amazing and wonderful. He wanted to become like them. Something that was unique. A person who was so bright and dazzling that it was blinding.

Not him, who has nothing special. A friendless Noel who was lacking. A person who have an acquaintances that he treated as friends but they can't be really titled as something that was called friends. Classmates who was distant and you would never get feeling closed.. a feeling of kinship.

Noel was a person who was easily forgotten. Something that was easily estranged and can be easily discarded and forgotten by the person who he treated as friends. He was a person who was always feeling awkward and estranged at school. He was a person who preferred silence but also a person who greatly needs an attention and care of someone. He need a place to belong.

Noel was a delusional and Illogical mess of a person. His life was a normal that wasn't normal. He also secretly thinks that there was something wrong with him and he wasn't right in the head a little bit.

He was a delusional dreamer. A slothful person who constantly want something impossible that wasn't achievable for him. He doesn't put an effort and sometimes he was a person with a very weak mentality. Noel look at the people, and constantly feel the of envy. He desire many different impossible things. He lost himself in his own delusional world.

The Goddess killing him was like a star shining in the eternal darkness. Noel thought that he can finally become something great. A one of a kind special person.

Overall, upon seeing the Goddess, he doesn't feel any ounce of awe and admiration upon her beauty. But he felt the greed and want rising on him when he realize that this is his chance to become something great. He grab his chance and he would never let it go.

He reincarnated as Noah Aster and he thought that it was now his time to shine as the 'Protagonist' of his new world. The new world is his. It belongs to him. He was the protagonist and his world would revolve around him.

He does his best to be the best perfect child to his parents. Noah fails as he was inherently selfish. He was a delusional self absorbed person. Still, he tried his best to be the adorable and cute innocent son of his new parents. His new parents was also something that was very easy to feel so affectionate and to loved.

Noah found them to be love so easily. They were very affectionate and caring. They would dote and spoil him. He love them and ignore the feeling of wrongness and the subconscious that was telling him that there's no way a perfect parents would exist. Noah indulge in his parent's love and care. He learned to like this world more because of them.

Still, Noah wanted to be different. He was a selfish and greedy person.

Noah was different. Noah was the Protagonist, and things suddenly took a wrong one day.

It was horrible to become kind of different that was lacking. Something that was different in a bad way.

Noah was slowly becoming Noel again. A person who want and desire because he was lacking and feeling envious of something that he didn't have.

The more he grow up in this world.. the more he found something new that was lacking on him.

He persist on being delusional. Noah Aster was the protagonist. It wouldn't changed because he can't learn any type of magic. Noah ignored the wrongness and his weak mentality that maybe he wasn't something special. He was just a person who was lacking in normality in a bad way.

Noah continued to persist in his delusions. He was the protagonist and he would achieve his impossible dreams.

He dreams, dream and dreaming.. until one day the stranger arrived.

He gives strange and mystical items to them.

Something free and from his heart, the Stranger said.

Noah and Noel's common sense that it was something suspicious. They even wondered how can the villagers and his parents accept it so easily. It was so very very wrong.

Noah reasoned that maybe there was something in the items. A kind of dark magic that let them become tempted. As the villagers accepted the items, Noah persisted. He was determined to not accept it. It wasn't just because of his common sense that was telling him that the stranger was dubious and suspicious, but him, fuelling his ego as something that was different in a great way. Noah was fuelling his ego as the protagonist of this story.

Noah persisted until he was the last person who didn't accept an item. While persisting, he persuade the villagers and his parents to return the items or throw it away. He was rejected and the villagers found nothing wrong with them with their skills and magic.

He convinced his parents and he was rejected. It was wrong. He thought he was supposed to be the protagonist. It was obvious that the stranger was the villain of his story. But why can't he even convince everyone? Noah was engulf in his thoughts and delusions. Even through he tried to help everyone. He was also treating this as him as the protagonist of this story. He would solve the problem and become the Hero. This problem was an important plot and the first main struggle of him as the protagonist.

Noah didn't treat it as real.

The Stranger was persistent. He finally found something that Noah can't absolutely refuse. Hook, line and sinker. Noah become one of the villagers as well. He was ashamed for being inherently greedy. He was supposed to be the Hero. The Protagonist of this story.

Why did he accept?

Five days later, a cursed has engulf the town. One by one the villagers changed and they died. Including his parents.

Noah felt something broke the moment that it happened.

Protagonist? What a Joke!!

How long was he going to fool himself? It was obvious from the start that he was nothing special. Noah's delusion was broken.

With his parents and villagers dead, he stopped dreaming. It was very wrong from the very start. It was something impossible and unachievable.

Noah was a very foolish and selfish person. It was too late. He can only bury all of their corpses. And he ignored the strange phenomenon of them slowly disintegrating to light.

He buried them on the hills with his small body. As it progress, he knows that he was also cursed. He wasn't unaffected. He wasn't the protagonist. He was just nothing special. He doesn't have the so called plot armor.

He was just one of the many people in this world.

As the time progress while Noah proceed on his new task to bury them in the ground, to the nearby hill outside their village to he exact, Noah can feel his consciousness blurring. He was getting weaker and weaker. He found himself getting sleepy and sleep that was exceeding of 10 hours to 2 days.

When he have manage to bury his parents, Noah realize that just like them, he was dying.

Noah dug a pit for himself and a makeshift coffin. He was exhausted and he sleep inside the coffin.

He never woke up after the 2 days.

Noah died.

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And Noah become aware again but he didn't woke up that he also woke up. It was confusing...

Noah wasn't human anymore when he woke up. As Noah, he wasn't certain if he was even a human in the first place. What with his lack of sense of physical pain, taste and smell. If there was one thing that was certain, it was that he have done a good job on being a egocentric delusional fool.

He can't believe that he would even 'woke up' in the first place. But then, Noah wasn't a human anymore. Noah was now a lingering shadow. A spirit, a ghost that was full of regrets.

He even wondered why did he woke up as a ghost. Why not them but just him? Since they died, Noah stopped believing that he was the protagonist. He forcefully stopped the thoughts of becoming something different in a wonderful way. Maybe it was the tragic events that lead to this and changed his thoughts, or maybe the feelings of guilt, but it was good that he have stopped on his delusional thoughts. Noah have realize that there was nothing good and no good results from them.

Noah tried to stay away from those thoughts. Now that he has more important matter, he was now a ghost.

Living as a ghost was kinda mess up and jumbled composition of difficult and easy.

Easy because he doesn't feel hungry, tired and sick. It was difficult because living as a ghost was boring. There were also times where he felt so empty, sad and angry. Living as a ghost wasn't easy. There were times where he would pass through the objects and things involuntarily. There are a lot of very frustrating things living– if that was really called living at all... Lingering as a ghost.

Somehow, Noah wondered if he would forever stay like this..as a ghost. Or he would slowly fade and disappear someday.

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And now, at present time; while Noah was having his moment again like some kind of moody and emo dramatic teenager— of course, he have even chosen to sat on his own tombstone which was twisted and mess up.

Noah was in his moments again when he have seen something. It was a glimpse of silhouettes in the distance and Noah thought that he was seeing an Illusion if those silhouettes didn't just moved.

Noah can feel eyes staring at him so he quickly moved away from the sight. By fading and disappearing— One of the things that he discovered as a lingering ghost.

Now, he that he felt the gaze and the silhouettes moving. They entered inside the village, Noah can feel some kind of excitement and anticipation. He was certain that those silhouettes are humans. They are people.

It's been five years, since Noah have seen an alive human. He was looking forward on meeting them. Maybe, just looking at them since maybe they would be scared at him or mistaken him as a monster and they decided that they need to vanquish him. Even Noah wasn't alive anymore, he doesn't want to completely disappear. He still wanted to remain and linger.

Noah float higher and higher until he was in air. In a very high place where he was sure that those two humans wouldn't look up and found him easily. To make sure of it, and where a scenario that he wouldn't be found and scare the two humans, Noah was maintaining his invisible state as he float his way through the village.

He stared at the two humans feeling curious and giddy. The two people have blond messy hair. They have some resemblance and some similar features. Noah was certain that they were a pair of siblings.

Noah feel awe as he realize that the man was wearing an armor. Maybe he was a Knight? He feel his curiosity spiking as he stared at their gears and he wondered what are they doing here. Noah can't see them very clearly so he decided to get closer. The man was holding a map. And now, he has an idea on how they manage to find this place in the midst of the night of fog and mist plus darkness.

Noah found them eccentric.

He wanted to hear what they are talking about so Noah decided to get closer. They have said that curiosity kills the cat.

Noah suddenly heard the girl screamed.

" AHHHH!! "

He look and found them that they were looking up and Noah meet their gaze. He was certain that they are looking at them.

This is bad... Noah thought.

Reluctantly, he deactivated his ability and revealed himself.

" Hi! I come with good intentions? "

He does his best to look harmless and smiled. Noah watched the girl staring at him.

One seconds..

Two seconds..

A minute, before she started laughing and the pupils in her eyes are gone as she fainted.