I was sitting on the ground of the balcony connected to the room I was in, the door still wide open behind me. I was looking up at the night sky, it was filled with many stars that seemed to shine brighter due to the reflection from the barrier surrounding this place. I thought back to what Drucilla said to me when I asked her about it….

  “Well, you see… In the past, we really didn’t want to have any connection with anyone other than ourselves so we made a barrier that only we could open. No one was allowed in and no one was allowed to leave either. We didn’t believe anyone on the outside was good enough for us. Of course that changed after the events that made that being but we still keep the barrier up.” Drucilla was looking out the window that was in the hallway. She had an unreadable look in her eyes as she looked at the barrier that seemed to stretch and cover everywhere.

  “Why is the barrier up if you no longer believe in what you used to think in the past?” It was strange that they still had up that barrier. I would assume it would be taken down after they started to change from their past.

  “We did it so no one could try to gain control of the being. If someone did that it could result in many more innocent people getting killed. You see this kingdom of ours still has many enemies, we have no allies. We didn’t put anyone in our eyes so that made many people hate us and wish for the destruction of our home. We could never know which one of these enemies will try to gain control of the being that was made by us.” Drucilla let out a sigh as she ran a hand through her hair.

  “Unlike in the past, we do allow people to leave this place if they want to and do allow people to come in after we made sure that they are not going to do anything harmful to our home. We allow those kidnappers to come into our home and made them think they could actually make a hole in our barrier but that is impossible. Only people who have our blood can get rid of the barrier. But we don't know how to fully get rid of it since it is rather high-level of magic that is always changing whenever someone tries to get rid of it.” Drucilla looked at the barrier with a longing look on her face. “...But I do wonder what it would be like once the barrier is finally gone…”

  I looked at the barrier for a bit longer and I had the urge to throw something at it. I got up from the ground and headed into the room assigned to me. I looked through the desk in the room and found paper. I folded up the paper on the desk and headed out once I made the paper airplane.

  Even though I knew it would be impossible for me to even get close enough to the barrier I got myself ready to throw the plane in the air so it could fly. Once the plane left my hand it flew for a good minute before it started to fall straight down. I didn’t care when this happened since I knew it wouldn’t even get close to the barrier.

  I went to turn around and head back into my room but stopped when something hit the back of my head. Turning around quickly I saw the paper airplane that I threw back on the ground. I walked over to it with cautious movement and picked it up. I noticed there was something written on the inside of the plane so I opened it.

  “Who are you?” There was neat writing on the paper that also had a drawing of a fox tilting its head in a questioning manner. I walked over and looked over the balcony. I made eye contact with a person who was standing beneath my room.

  I couldn’t see their appearance clearly since they were wearing a cloak on their body, I couldn’t even make out their gender either. I could tell that they may be around my age or maybe older. The only thing I could make out was their silver eyes… I couldn’t help but get drawn to them.

  “I should be asking you that.” I wrote that on the airplane and threw it in their direction. The stranger jumped up into the air and caught the plane before it fell to the ground. The stranger tilts their head before quickly writing something on the paper before sending it back to me.

  “A cautious one, I see. You can call me Fox.” I raised an eyebrow at the winking fox that was added to the paper. That was obviously a fake name but I doubt that a stranger in the middle of the night would tell another stranger their name.

 “Well, Fox, my name is Princess then. What is a fox like you doing under my room this late at night?” I couldn’t help but give a fake name as well. For some reason, I wanted to mess around with this stranger who had those beautiful silver eyes. When the stranger, Fox, read the airplane after I threw it in their direction their shoulder shook in what I assume was laughter.

  “Well… What is a princess like you doing outside on her balcony late at night? What if a bad man tries to steal you away?” The stranger drew a fox holding a flower this time on the paper and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at this. I should be feeling nervous but I felt rather relaxed near them.

  “I can take care of myself. They should be more worried about me and whether or not I will harm them.” I knew what I wrote may seem a bit threatening but I was being honest. I am more dangerous than anyone with how I can’t fully control my magic or emotions.

  “...I don’t think you are dangerous but maybe I am just being biased. Let's talk again soon, Princess. I have a feeling we will get along quite well~” After the stranger sent the plane back to me they disappeared. I couldn’t figure out which direction they went in so I just went back into my room with the paper airplane in my hand.

  After I placed it on the desk that was located in the room I went to lay down in the bed. It felt soft but I couldn’t relax… It wasn’t the bed that Mae would sit in occasionally as she told me stuff about my mom or the bed that Sybil would just lay in as he waited for me to come to my room. This place felt unfamiliar and my heart clenched at that.

  I forced myself to ignore that as I closed my eyes and slowed down my breathing. After a few minutes of that, I manage to fall into a deep sleep. I felt like I was floating as I sunk into darkness and when I opened my eyes again I was sitting next to someone.  I realize that I was dreaming right away and it was another memory from my former life.

 “Hey ▇▇▇▇▇! Guess what I made for you?” A male was sitting next to me… I couldn’t see anything but a smile on his face. This should have scared me but that smile made my heart feel at peace. I look at the male and notice that their arms were behind their back. 

  “A paper airplane! Wait, I want to see if I can make it fly towards you.” The male got up and moved away from me. I wanted to grab at his arm to stop him from leaving me, I can’t let him go again…

  The male was only a few feet away from me but it felt too far from me. I went to close the distance between us but whenever I tried to get closer to him the distance kept increasing. He didn’t look concerned as I kept trying to run towards him.

  Even as I reached a hand out to him and I tried to say something to him, anything! He lifted his arm and threw the paper airplane in his hand toward me. He then disappeared from my sight, only the paper airplane left flying in my direction. Countless paper airplanes were moving from behind me and in front of me but I was only focused on the one flying in my direction.

  I dropped to my knees and I could feel something falling from my eyes. My heart felt like it was being crushed in someone's hand and it was hard to breathe. The paper airplane drifted slowly in front of me and I picked it up with shaky hands. It was hard to hear myself think as the paper airplanes increase in speed and the wind grew louder.

  “Hey… I love you ▇▇▇▇▇… I really love you so much” I felt the world getting small around me as I kept reading the note left on the paper airplane. I felt like my heart was getting ripped into pieces. I could feel my head getting fuzzy as countless images were appearing in my head.  I kept seeing the male with a smile and he kept getting further and further from me. Until finally I saw him holding another person's hand with his back towards me... 

  “I...I love you… I love you… I LOVE YOU! I do honestly love you… I love you! P-Please don’t leave me… I’m sorry… I do love you… So, please… Don’t fall in love with someone else…” A voice that sounded like mine but wasn’t coming from my mouth surrounded me as I kept holding onto the unfolded paper airplane. It felt like my heart was trying to destroy itself as I kept seeing the male holding someone else hand and looking at them with a smile on his face.

 It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… It hurts… IT HURTS… IT HURTS… IT HURTS… IT HURTS… IT HURTS… IT HURTS… ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS?!

  I don’t want to remember this pain… I don’t want to remember this at all… Anything but this! I am begging you don’t make me remember this horrible pain! Don’t make me remember him! He is the only person I don’t want to remember!

  I have to wake up… I have to wake up… I have to wake up… I… HAVE… TO… WAKE… UP! Before I remember him… I can’t remember him! I don’t want to remember him! STO?!

  “STOP!” I woke up quickly and I was covered in sweat. I was shaking and I couldn’t understand where I was. I don’t know where I am… Where Mae? I need Mae! Please get me, Mae!

  “Mae! Where are you, Mae! Mae! Help Mae! MAE!” I quickly got out of the bed I was in and tried to walk towards the door but quickly fell to the ground. I kept trying to get up on my weak legs but kept falling halfway up. 

  “Mae… Where are you... I am scared… Mae… Help me…” I sound so pathetic calling out so weakly for Mae like a child but I didn’t care at the moment. I felt so scared… I felt like I almost remembered something horrible. I don’t want to remember it…

  I couldn’t help but start crying on the ground. It was more like I was screaming out in pain. Everything hurt and I don’t know why… I don’t like this at all. Nothing feels right at all. I could hear footsteps but I was too busy screaming out in pain. 

  Someone was trying to speak to me but it wasn’t Mae at all. I needed her and only her! My body felt so hot and cold at the same time. I don’t feel so good… I end up puking on the ground I was on before blacking out.

  I had a dream where I was back in my room getting woken up by Mae with breakfast. Her hand felt so cool against my forehead… Mae always made me feel so safe. I miss my home so much…

Danshi

Well, Well... Who is back from the dead? I am! Sorry for being gone for so long but I have a good reason! So I got myself on some antidepressants and they made me a bit sleepy so I gave myself some time to get used to it. I am not that sleepy anymore but they do knock me out pretty easily. But I am back and will get back on my usual update schedule again! I was thinking of this story for a long time and really wanted to get back to writing! I can't forget about my baby Aurelia after all. I do hope you can forgive me for disappearing so suddenly. Also, I kind of got into an anime during my break and the protagonist of it is so crazy but it totally understandable. Well, I should stop talking now, I miss you guys so much~