Chapter 23: The Shade and Grandma

 

 

Desperately swallowing deep draws of air to raggedly shudder them back out, was how I woke up trembling.

’Good, you’re awake,’ I heard in my thoughts before I saw something unpleasant.

She was here. The diluted version of Grandma Satan.

’That’s… wow, that is a really rude way to perceive me,’ she had mentally spoken, but by the bedside, I saw the movement of her black lips speak.

The dark figure crossed her arms over the edge of the bed as she blindly watched me.

Watched us.

The damp desire made the slick movements sliding into me smooth and painless now. I had a second or two of being in confusion before I was aware of what entered me.

She grinned and said, ’That’s right. I stopped his motivation, but not the motion.’

All I felt was Adam thrusting his hips up, the tight embrace he had around my shoulders, arms crossing each other so his hands could cup the back of my blonde skull, and the length of his lean body under mine.

To keep an eye on the shade of Grandma, I kept him from turning my head. I didn’t stop him either. I was worried he’d spot the demon.

’Unless it brings him pleasure, he’s not aware of much else right now,’ she informed me.

Without me having to move, I doubted he had noticed I was awake too.

’Bingo.’ A full smile formed on that eerie black mask. ’Oh, don’t worry if you two get wild. While visiting here, I’m incorporeal.’

At last, I faced his neck, nuzzled down into his shoulder to muffle my whimpered or quivering sounds. But I couldn’t keep myself from vocalizing each wracking shudder as they vibrated hotly into the crook of his shoulder.

To continue keeping him facing away from her, I leaned the top of my cheek along his jawline. He had to have felt that, but it was a question if his senses were being acknowledged in his enthralled state.

’...You truly love him?’ To me, that was a question which had been answered already. ’It what rhetorical. The real topic I want you to focu on is: him. You love a man?’

“Adam,” I slipped out his name in a gasp as he pushed his lower body harder to drive his desire into me.

In response to his name, my hair was tugged tightly, then released as he drove into me more deeply and rapidly. His hands slid down to grip my shoulders and bring me down harder onto him.

Her laughter filled my mind. ’I find this all too amusing.’

It occurred to me that I could cry out, either say his name louder to catch his attention or utter a single word to stop this. I could even scream.

That was something I didn’t wish to be done. When her control over him ended, and if his mom came to my cry for help, he’d only feel more shame and guilt.

This wasn’t his fault.

The only way I saw for him to not be hurt was to finish what that demon stirred up and turned on inside him.

My jaw tensed, and I kept hushed.

’Really?’ Out of the corner of my vision, I caught she had rested her chin down on her crossed arms. That had angered me more because she had this posture as if she was watching a show. ’Yes. Did I forget to mention me being amused?’

As if I could hide what was going on, I tried to close my legs together. But the instant I squeezed, Adam had brushed his knees past mine. 

For the first time I heard him growl, but I understood why as I felt him suddenly grinding into the yielding heat between my legs. As his release rose out of him to twist up into me, I responded by grinding back down onto his hardness -- rhythmically to press our bodies tightly together.

The sound of tearing fabric startled me for a moment. I released my once firm grip on the bed and spreaded my fingers out across the deep rends I created in the fitted sheet and mattress.

To do nothing made me feel like I was a lifeless. I couldn’t idly take this. But I wasn’t sure what else could be done.

’Love him back,’ was suggested.

...I was the one on top. So I took charge and slipped my hands beneath him, to hold him, and pull each other tighter together. As I drew my arms up along hist sides, my shoulders fitted to be within the breadth of his chest.

This was the first I had felt the shaping feminine characteristics to his figure. The sense of touch was heightened, alert for all the subtle little differences. I couldn’t keep myself from wedging my hands where I could, brushed back and forth with the pads of my long and tapered fingertips, and stretching to reach and cup in the palm of my hands however much of his soft skin I clasped.

Keenly aware of how I scored the bedsheet, I only ever touched him with the blunt-tipped stroke of my fingertips. I knew now what I had were no longer considered just fingernails, but they weren’t claws.

Not yet.

’Stop worrying.’ I was becoming pissed off at having to hear the puppeteering voyeurist. I’d wished she would just shut up. ’Pup-- Hey, this is all him now.’ To me, that didn’t let this bitch off the hook. ’True, but I only ignited his fire and gave him a path to burn towards you. Find pleasure in this passion.’ I made it official, I enjoyed our fiery daughter’s silence over Grandma’s excuses. ’...I’ll be sure to pass that message on when she’s not busy.’

Even if this thing wasn’t exactly that demonic mother, she was supposed to be some form of a duplicate. I hated her, them, any of those insane creatures who had done this to me.

As my hot breath roughly caught in my throat, I sensed her amusement as she spoke within my mind once again. ’If you want, I can participate too. Ever experience climaxing while asphyxiated?’

She reached out, her hand and wrist passed straight through Adam as if she were made of nothing. 

One way or the other, what she had said and done shouldn’t have affected me. As she mentioned being incorporeal. But instead, I lifted my chest and tensed up with a hitched breath. A cold tendril of dread caressed my spine.

There was an all too real vice-like grip around my throat. But I didn’t know how to save myself from being choked. Her arm and elbow dipped down into his face, even the pillow.

This demon appeared to move like black smoke, but without any material. A real shadow.

’That’s right, she impressed my assessment of her in my mind. ’Like a shadow, no one can touch me, but I can touch you.’

The tightening in my chest had only escalated in a feverish inferno, but instead of trying to free myself from this otherworldly strangulation, it only made my heated passion grow hotter. I slid and rocked desperately against my lover.

At once, I struggled, but only for a brief moment.

What had stopped me was Adam. Not that he had restrained me, but my immediate convulsion had an unintentional reaction. And I first noted it when he lifted me up with his hips.

It swelled, pulsed, and filled me while his body responded instinctively to jerk up in seemingly a mindless state of ecstasy. Because of his sudden move, it didn’t take long to experience the delight of releasing that twisting knot in me once more.

Once tight in his balls, but now soaked within me was more of his virility. His gushing desire and my unbidden thirst for more made all of my slick movements on top of him easier, fluid, as I rocked all the harder into his hardness.

Just slightly, I pulled my head back, and had to blink several times before I captured sight of the shade on the bed with us. She faced me, as if staring back, but I was ever more startled to feel her breathe.

With a large smile, that dark creature’s breath fell hard on my lips. Looking at her, I saw stars bursting in my vision. Here, from across my fair brow, and there, down around my open mouth, and everywhere, to the flushed skin of my cheeks and throughout my exposed flesh, I burned.

Her great smile opened wide, and as if she spoke a command, she said, ’Release.’

Obviously having let me go, she pulled her hand away. And I unbelievably fell down hard, trembling, onto Adam.

While I endured my climatic convulsions, I was frightfully racked with every shuddered breath. But those gasps were snapped out of me in orgasmic moans. As I started to shake, I slid my hands between the material of the bed and his arching back until I had a grip behind his shoulders. I crushed my breasts against him to still and seize my quivering heart.

When I the thrill of my intense ravishment drifted someplace loftier than down with us, I felt relieved in a way I had never would be capable of describing. I wasn’t exhausted from my ordeal, but rather far from that.

I was alive.

We both settled and laid still to catch our breaths.

That living shadow of Grandma reminded me, ’Remember, hold your temper.

I knew. If I could burn hot enough to badly hurt myself before, I didn’t want to imagine what could become of Adam. I did what she’d asked and held back my anger.

All I did was glare into his shoulder, then breathed in deeply to calm down and enjoy the blissfully peaceful moment of being together. I understood what she’d meant and I didn’t want to hurt him -- or potentially our child.

’Aw, how touching.’ I’d wished she’d be quiet. ’Heh, I wanted you to know; she’s used to this.’

That may have been so, but I certainly was not a regular to be raped all the damn time.

He wanted me; now I was his and would do what I could for it to be forever. I just wondered, ’If he’s being manipulated to make a move on me in my sleep, would have to lay down some bedtime rules or sleep elsewhere in case this would become a regular thing?’

Again, she read my thoughts and recommended: ’Ask him yourself.’

“Hah, ah... ah, are you ahmm… Clint, are you awake?” The sound of Adam’s voice made me believe he was pretty sure I was awake. He sounded nervously guilty.

I made a sarcastic response, but I tried to tone down the contempt in it. “What was your first clue?”

“You, ahmm, when you started moving with me rather than… ah, I don’t know?” I rolled my eyes in reaction to that.

In an effort to lighten my mood, I made a little joke. “I should be happy that you didn’t try the wrong hole when you had the chance.”

Despite the heightened pitch in his voice, he sounded confident saying, “Ah, not without protection.”

With a snort, I laughed and nuzzled my shaking head against his shoulder.

It amazed me that in this worst time of my life he was capable of making me smile. I appreciated that so much now more than ever.

“Okay,” I said, quieted while I tried to keep the emotion in my voice in check. Then I resumed to say, “Okay, no butt. Got it?” I squeaked when I felt him grab my tush. A little more laughter escaped me before I added: “Especially not when I’m KOed.” I knew he hadn’t started this, but I added: “Please don’t surprise me like that.” Now I wondered, ’If he was only partially manipulated, does that mean he really has a little naughty kink?’ Not to be direct with that thought, I asked: “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I -- I tried?” I felt him shrug, which brought me to lift up enough to face him. I leaned down to press my forehead onto his.

“You did?” As I gazed into his eyes, I tasted something delicious between us.

Our breaths collided and I breathed him in as he spoke. He made me feel dizzy.

Intoxicated.

Pleasantly warm and safe, regardless of what had happened. This experience, I savored each breathtaking moment.

And as I shared my own hot breath with him, his lips drew closer to mine. He didn’t kiss me, but I strangely sensed he craved the fiery taste I offered in exchange for his own breath.

A muffled laughter interrupted and filled my senses, but the origin of that amused noise was within my head. I had nearly ignored the fact that we were being watched by that darker image of Grandma.

“You were dead asleep.” I snapped out of wherever I was and listened. “I mean, I was able to scoot you on top of me without disturbing youGH -- er, thanks?”

He was interrupted when I hastily jammed another pillow under his head to effectively shut that dark bitch’s laughter up. But as for what he said about my condition, I believed him.

In some way, I might have been dead inside to travel into that frozen world. At least, close to being deathlike. It could have been a coma, but I wouldn’t be sure without observation. I wasn’t sure if I could trust Adam’s account if he wasn’t capable of keeping his hands off of me.

That thought brought me back to questioning him. “Do I have to worry about you while I sleep?”

And just as I asked that, I caught that dark matter of a blind woman had slipped out from between the head of the bed and my blockade of pillows. I started to take it for granted that she was invisible from Adam’s perspective.

’You’re a sharp one,’ I heard her mentally say. But that was a clear sign she was not the same Grandma I’d been first acquainted with in Hell.

That pale as the moon skin and horned Grandma Satan thought I was dull.

’You are stubborn.’ As she told me that, I tried to silence my thoughts on any form of response. ’For this name calling to continue, what more do you want to occur?’

“...Maybe,” Adam said.

“Huh?” I completely spaced out and lost track of what me and Adam were discussing. I found it difficult to hold two conversations at once.

One in reality, the other in my head.

“Rules?” As soon as I made an ‘oh’ face that I doubted he saw, but probably sensed, he clarified. “I said, I didn’t mean to, at first. I was sleeping, but I guess my dream and -- us, ah, kinda mingled.”

This close to his face, I think I caught him giving me a strained smile. He knew his guilt. That gave me a wicked grin.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean…” He went silent for a few seconds before confessing, “Once I started, I couldn’t stop.”

I relented and sighed along his lips as I spoke. “I know.” I felt this wasn’t the right time to tell him everything, the Hellish nightmare I’ve been going through, but I thought it was a good idea to tell him about my own past torment when I was a guy. “I’ve experienced the horrors of having blue balls before. Not a very good feeling.”

At least Adam and I could share those experiences… Privately. I was fairly certain that those thoughts would not be tolerated so well outside the bedroom.

“Erin? Do you still miss her?” I cringed in response and rose up, my knees securely pressing against his sides while his hands slid up to gently grip my slim waist. I straddled him like a cowgirl and stared down to seriously contemplate what to say. “Sorry. I guess that was too personal.”

Shaking my head, I told him what he should know already. “You want to marry me. We should get to know each other before anything else happens. At this point, I know we love each other, but if we have another fight, we need to know how to deal with it.” I glanced away a moment to think about what he had asked before I honestly replied. “Yes. I miss her, but I don’t think I actually loved her.” Looking back down at him, I confessed: “I don’t feel the same way I did with her as I do about you.”

“You two did fight quite a lot.” I shrugged and nodded in acknowledgement. “Clint, I do love you. I’m sorry for what I did. If it helps, maybe it is for the best we wear something to bed from now on.”

I asked him a reasonable question. “Will that stop you?”

He responded by echoing my question. “Will it be enough to stop you too?”

Leaning down a little, I whispered with a nod. “I seriously doubt I’m going to do that.” But I more accurately warned: “Not right away. You have no idea how raw I feel now.”

“Woah, sorry, I didn’t know I was hurting you. Am I really that bad in bed?” The worried expression on his face made me giggle.

“No. No, Adam. You’re good in bed. I told you, I need to recover from last night. You weren’t yourself and --” I was going to mention how he had steadily driven me down on him nearly all night, but I decided against telling him that.

There was a chance our third party on the bed might have wanted to repeat the rough experience. It was obvious she wasn’t against choking the life out of me.

Instead, I said, “Let’s just say that you were less than gentle with me last night.”

“I’m sorry.” I patted his bare chest in acceptance of his apology before he repeated how sorry he was. “Clint?” I tilted my head and raised a curious brow when he said nothing else.

Rolling my eyes, I asked him. “Yes?”

His chest -- under my palm -- felt like he was breathing uneasily. “I -- when… No, ah, what I want to say is…” He shook his head as he struggled to spit out whatever it was he wanted said. “I won’t do it again. Unless you say it is okay. Even then, I won’t do anything until you give me permission.”

I grinned. “Oh, are you going to be my little pet?” He grimaced and I laughed. “‘Kay. Heh, I’m good with that, but I think you still need to make up for this.” When he expressed guilt ridden sorrow on his face, I winced and stated: “No sorry business. You -- you just owe me one. Sound good?” It took me a moment, but I had the perfect idea of how he could mend what he perceived between us was broken trust. “I pick out the ring.”

He stared up and gave me a nervous, smiling, laugh. “Sure. If I can’t afford it.” He shrugged and mentioned: “If not, I guess I’ll hafta dive into the family bank.”

“Family bank?” For a second, I didn’t know what that meant, but then I had an idea. “You mean, borrow money from your parents?” I wasn’t thrilled about doing that to his parents. It wasn’t their fault… Well, this wasn’t entirely his doing either. “I guess you could do that.”

I glanced away, mulling over second thoughts, ’Maybe this is a bad idea?’ This was the complete opposite of what I wanted to offer his family. If I allowed him to borrow money, I’d be responsible for putting financial strain on this household.

There had to be a better way to make Adam feel as if he made up for this without paying a price.

Rather than being selfish, I should’ve thought of something more proactive. I thought, ’Maybe Helen would have an idea?’ She most definitely knew her son more than I ever could. And she had more initiative to get Adam’s butt moving on being the man around the house when the daddy-O wasn’t home.

“Do you forgive me?” Looking back down at him, I had to plan my response carefully.

If I just forgave him for raping me, I would be sending a message that this sort of thing was okay. I was not going to ruin our relationship like that.

So my half response was a shake of my head.

The second part was me telling him: “No.” He was genuinely crestfallen by that answer. I quickly added: “I accept your apology, but don’t think for a moment I’m going to forgive you. Not yet, at least.” I sighed and leaned down to face him. “Give me some time and let me be. Okay?”

“Sure thing. Wait… what do you mean by ‘letting you be?’ You don’t mean, leave you alone-alone? Do you?” The way he spoke just now, there was a peculiar manner in his voice. How he carried his words… “You’re not leaving, are you?”

That had him really worried. I thought, ’Maybe that is good too?’ He might realize just how badly messed up this incident really was when he messed with me.

Lightly, I planted a kiss on his lips to keep him from quivering further in dismay at his actions. “Don’t worry. I’ll forgive you when I cool down.” And I silently added, when I get rid of this demon. But after a pause, then I actually added: “And when I recover. That’s the important point here. Give me time and we can play around. Got it?”

“Yeah. I understand.” With my hand on his chest, I pushed and sat back upright on him. “Clint, I really am --”

“Stop. I told you, no more sorries. I know you regret it.” With an experimental squeeze, I winced just a little at how sore I was with him still in me. “Just keep it down and wait. ‘Kay?” He nodded in response and I gave him a quick smile before facing away from him to see how much daylight was left. “What time is it?”

“Ah, not sure. Dad’s not home yet.” He explained a good way of telling time without a timepiece. “When he’s here, it would be some time around -- close to six.”

I blinked, wondering just how little time had gone by while I slept. Either I’d had only an hour or so of sleep or his father was late. That, or perhaps Denis was here and we simply missed the cue of the front door.

“Do you want to throw something on and check?” I slipped off of him and slid back under the covers beside him.

Adam informed me about something his dad tended to do. “I think we would have heard him. He, ahmm, tends to make it abundantly clear when he arrives home.”

“Just to be sure. You never know if your mom told him to be quiet or -- something.” Not being familiar with how this family functioned, I just shrugged. “I might be breaking your regular family program here.”

“Yeah, you might be right.” He squeezed my sides and vaguely asked: “Clint, whenever you’re ready.”

He was still trapped under me. And I found it odd that he had yet to soften… Especially since he at least came twice in this bedtime event.

The idea that he did this and wore no protection had given me conflicted thoughts. I asked: “Adam?”

“What’s up?” He remained silent for me, but I wasn’t sure yet how to form this question. “Clint?”

After I considered how to approach this, I decided to be light on this topic. “You did say, you didn’t buy any condoms, right?” Whether he had said something or not, there was a little smirk and nod from him to confirm he hadn’t made a purchase, and I continued. “Don’t. You won’t have a need for them anymore.”

Being slow as to not spook him, and careful to not accidentally scratch him, I grabbed for one of his hands on my side and guided Adam’s palm to be laid up against my flat abdomen. I wanted him to know I was going to be carrying his child.

Gently, I let go of his hand and slipped off to lay beside him.

In a state of shock, I watched Adam as he reluctantly got out of bed and retrieved a pair of boxers to put on. I had an opportunity to enjoy the show Adam was performing for me, hopping on one foot when his other accidently caught in one of the short legs of his boxers. I had no idea how he did that.

Lifting my head a little higher, I gazed at his feet and noticed they were kinda big. I guessed that would explain some of it. I thought, ’Maybe he is a tad wobbly and unbalanced?’ It would make sense from the labors of mishandling me on top of him.

Laughing with that in mind and Adam bouncing around, I laid my head back down to get some more rest -- even if it might be for only a few minutes if his dad was home.

Adam pulled a white shirt on and immediately left the bedroom. I closed my eyes, folded my hands over my stomach, and waited in quiet serenity.

It didn’t feel right.

My leg itched to feel the warmth next to it. I rolled my shoulder, wanting to bump into the firm, yet yielding, arm that would pull me in closer. I wanted to roll on my side and lay my head down on something warm and drumming with a rhythmic beat that would lull me back to sleep.

’Miss him already?’ She was still here! ’I could bring him back for another round.’

“Fuck.” I sat up and softly grinded the heel of my palm into my eye to rub out whatever agitated me. “Leave me the fuck alone!”

Shaking my head, I now felt horrible for some reason. I didn’t know the reason why.

’Your lover can remedy that.’ The dark shadow of her upper body shot right up through my bust. This transcendent being twisted around and confronted me face-to-face. ’Unless you’d like to accept my little deal? A behaved little boy for a simple name change.’

“Fuck you.” I was clearly still pissed off at her, but I wondered if perhaps I still was upset about what she made Adam do to me.

’If you want, I could.’ I made an attempt to smack her out of my face, but my hand only passed through her. ’You have to do better than that.’

“What is the problem with you?” I tried to keep my emotions bottled up, but I began to crack. Before I teared up, I rubbed and wiped away at anything that would come from my red eyes. Not like they were going to become any redder. I didn’t want to cry, but not knowing how to get rid of her, I started to sob out, “I don’t know --”

“What don’t ya know?” By that truly voiced question, I was startled into silence.

I looked over -- one eyed since I still had a palm covering the other -- and noticed the bedroom door hadn’t been closed. Helen stood outside of the bedroom, but was looking in from the hallway.

As I covered my eyes, I smiled and nodded to her. “Nah, it’s --” I had to swallow back that tremor in my voice. “It’s nothing.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure this nothing just ran out of the room?” Helen slightly tilted her head and smirked. “By the way, nice rack.”

I dropped one hand from my face and pulled the sheets up to my neck in response. “Helen, are you by -- er, uh --”

“Ha! If I find them pretty and fuckab-- ahhh, I’m so sorry. I mean…” I caught that she cringed, glancing aimlessly around a bit before settling back on me. “I’m -- I’m whatcha call free spirited -- there we go -- if that’s what yer wonderin’?”

She straightened up and smiled at me like she hadn’t said anything awkward at all. She went on to change the subject. I wondered, ’Maybe to see if I’d forget her slip on the language earlier?’

“Andrew is into guys, so it’s a blessing that Adam found ya. I was worried about not having any grandkids.” She did get my mind off of her sexual orientation because what she said totally answered why the family had been on Adam’s case to find a girl.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Helen laughed in response to my statement.

“Ya, I do! I’m gonna be a granny!” She shook her head while laughing a little more. “Jus’ ya wait. One day, you’ll be here and feel as old as I do now.”

I looked at her and did a once over her figure. “You look good.” I kept myself from saying, ‘for your age,’ just in case she was still touchy on that subject.

“Thank ya kindly. I do try.” She raised an arm and flexed with with a familiar cheesy smile I had seen on Drew’s photograph.

I glanced past her shoulder for a moment, expecting Adam to have come back here by now. “Is your husband back yet?”

She dropped her arm and nodded. “Yeah. He’s havin’ the ol’ talk with Adam about responsibilities.”

Despite my current efforts to keep my break down in check, I felt a little tense about Adam and his dad having a man-to-man talk. And I was worried if his parents noticed anything effeminate about their son yet.

“Helen?” I paused a moment to consider how I wanted to phrase my request. She kept quiet and waited for me to speak, which I appreciated, but I hoped she would be fine with what I had to say too. “Do you think the two of you can lay off Adam for a little bit? It’s a bit much for me to ask, but I want us to work on what we should be responsible for -- together. I don’t want Adam to feel like he has to carry the burden on his own.”

And I need more time to discover a way for him to change back.

“The only burden you need to be carrying is what’s in ya right now. Adam will take care of you or answer to me.” I cringed at that. “Relax and let him be a man. Just be there for him when he needs to let loose… Ah, I mean, ya know, when things get a little too hard and he needs the support. I don’t mean tolerating a bastard.” She pointed and spoke in a hushed, but firm, tone. “If he so much as hurts ya, I’m gonna wring his scrawny manhood until he sings the soprano.”

Eyes wide, I kept my mouth shut and nodded.

“This morning! God, he knows bettah than to do --” After taking a deep breath, she lightened up and smiled. “He’ll be a fine man. You two can work on whatcha need to. We’ll just lay the foundation for ya both to build on.” I suppose I could get behind that. “I’ll letcha be and I’d advise getting dressed. Dinner will be ready to serve once the men finish.”

“Helen, wait…” Not sure as to why, I didn’t want her to go just yet. Just as her son could make me laugh, her being here also comforted me. I had thought fast and brought up, “Yesterday, I don’t think anyone noticed me going completely commando -- thanks to your net top -- but I’m going to need some underwear.”

An apologetic look was all I could give her after that confession.

“You don’t have -- ah, I forgot, I’m so very sorry. Ya did tell me about your house.” She meant my home catching fire. I supposed that would be a good excuse for not having clothes. “Ahmm… I’ll take a look at what all we have going on tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” A shuddered breath slipped out of me as I said, “I appreciate it.”

She no longer stood in the hallway, but came into the room with concerned question. “You alright?”

Just then, the Grandma in my chest turned around to investigate the approach of Helen. ’Oh, this could get interesting.’

There was no way of knowing the intentions of this sadistic creature, but I knew whatever was on her mind, it wasn’t good. I hadn’t wanted Helen to leave, but right now, that might be for the best.

So I lied. “I’m fine.” And I put on a bigger smile and said, “I’ll be out soon for dinner.” But instead of taking my word for granted, she walked up to Adam’s bed and stood by my side. “Really, I’m -- I’m good.”

’What do you say?’ I tried to ignore this Grandma’s voice in my head, but she pressed on to say, ’Maybe we can get you a closer with the family? A little girl-on-girl-on-girl action on the bed?’ Then with a laugh, she mockingly requested: ’Ha! Say that five times fast.’

Not intentionally, I lowered my gaze and glared at this bitch poking her head and shoulders out of me. Just as she had done to me, I wanted so very badly to strangle her.

My maliciously vengeful fantasy had been interrupted. As if shocked and frozen in place, I seized up.

’Hold still.’ I heard the amused dark shadow’s request, but knew it was a command that she somehow forced upon me. ’Sorry, but you would’ve scared this fishy off. I want to lure her in and see if she’ll take a bite of this yummy bait.’

On the edge of the bed, Helen sat down and scooted in beside me. And before I could’ve said anything, she took and lifted my chin up to face her.

Her gaze was lowered, as if she had something to closely inspect. Being kept still by supernatural hands, and silent by a real one, I was scared over what would happen next.

Then she let go of my chin. Before any more were to happen here, I started to say, “Helen, I --”

“Did my boy do that?” I shut up, and she lightly traced a finger across my neck and throat.

“What?” In that instant of confusion, I put together what she had meant: I had marks of being choked. Terror filled me if this was misunderstood. “No. Adam didn’t -- I did this.”

...That had to be the worse lie I had ever told to cover for someone. But I thought, ’What else could I say?’ To tell Helen a demon did this would’ve been taken as crazy-talk.

’Or…’ That Grandma paused for effect, then suggestively spoke in my mind. ’...If you had said that, she could’ve taken it that you meant her son is a possessive deviant, like a demon.’

Giving me a headache was her laughter having split through my skull. I sorely had a need to get her out of my head.

’Here, I’ll give you some freedom.’ As soon as her voice passed through my head, I felt the release of tension in my body.

My brief paralysis was undone.

In an attempt to ignore this insanity, and to save Adam, I pleaded: “Please, believe me.” I involuntarily caressed my throat, which I found to be tender to the touch. Then I covered it up in a soft grip, just to keep the proof of my strangulation out of Helen’s sight. “He didn’t do this.”

At once, I was pulled face first into a hug. As I dropped the cover of Adam’s sheets, I felt the warmth of Helen’s arms wrapped further to securely hold me. Her hands slid down to the small of my bare back and gripped my sides to lift me up into this embrace.

“No one…” Still being stunned by her quickness to act, I only listened. After I heard and felt her breathe out a shaky breath, she repeated and continued to say, “No one has ever hurt my kids without me hurtin’ em back.”

Without meaning to, I reminded Helen of her son’s injury in a soft whisper. “I gave Adam a scar.”

“Ya did, back then.” On the top of my head, I felt her plant a kiss down into my fair hair. The gentle words that came from her next had passed through over my head in such warmth that I became drowsy in the comfort. “By now, that’s all forgiven. You deserve better than... you’re my boy’s woman.” Another affectionate kiss landed on my blonde crown. “If ya wanna know the honest truth, yer a babe, and jus’ as vulnerable.”

’See, she already has the attraction.’ How that dark demon twisted around a moment as this sickened me. ’Aw, come on? I bet she’d be great in bed.’

Up and down my back, I was soothed into calming down with ever pass of Helen’s hand. She circled her rub across my shoulders, then traveled down alongside my spine until she looped over it for a return up top.

It was difficult not to, but I eventually closed my eyes.

“Clem?” I hummed an acknowledgement that I paid attention. “Ya know those who’d take advantage over somebody who’s down?” I nudged into her shoulder with a nod that I knew. “Ya need protectin’ from dat. Adam should, but until he grows a pair… I -- I know this is gonna sound stupid, but… I’d be forever happy and more ‘an grateful if ya consider to be my daughter.”

I felt an unnatural weight on my shoulder, and heard the Grandma’s shadow in my head. ’Please say: yes.’

Not to please this wicked demon, but because I really needed someone’s help right now. I weakly croke out a, “Yes.”

At this point, I no longer cared if I was completely exposed; I hugged Helen back.

If my voice hadn’t been cracked up within this swirl of emotion going through me, I would’ve said how I felt about her. I believed she was a good mom. Her son was proof, and the smile on her older son’s face appeared to be more evidence.

Had she been my mom, I wondered, ’How different would my life had been like?’ I knew I wouldn’t have had to deal with my dad’s lifelong mourning over my real mom. And there was a better chance I’d have someone to be at home all the time who wasn’t busy making financial ends meet.

My views on Dad made me feel like a horrible person, and I couldn’t be swayed away from that guilt. As a single parent, I absolutely knew he had tried. But our lives would’ve been better with someone else added in the picture.

The dam broke, and I felt the stream of tears make a line down my face. I had let go of Helen to wipe my face, but I couldn’t. Helen had ran her deft fingers up through my hair and cupped the back of my head, and I reluctantly accepted her shoulder to cry on again.

“Shh…” Soft and softer, she shushed me to be calmer. “Ya need some real sleep.” I couldn’t agree more with that observation.

But I didn’t know how anymore. Not since I’ve had been jumping and waking between worlds.

’You keep this up, you’ll pass out in her arms and come right on back.’ I ignored that disturbing statement. ’Don’t worry, Kris isn’t tied up with Sophia anymore. I promise, we can get straight to your training.’

Alarmed, I knew that wasn’t a promise I could just brush off.

My thoughts were now filled with the beaten and broken images of Mrs. Pureview on the frozen ground. And when I replaced her image with my own, my terror renewed.

“Annoying --”

’Wha--burgk!’ The bed quaked with an impact.

“-- bugger,” I heard Helen had spoken, but I glanced over and around her shoulder to figure out what just happened.

On the torn section of the mattress, I saw she had smacked down on something. When she lifted her hand, I caught the sight of a black stain in her palm.

“Dammit. Denis!” At her yell, I lowered my head, then when I mentally processed who she called, I shrunk down. I dared not to show my face, let alone look to see who came, but I listened. “DEN-- there ya are. You see this?” I assumed she showed her messy hand. “Call him back and tell ‘im to properly get the job done. We signed and paid him for it.”

“Y’ewww. That looks like a biggun’.” I heard a few heavy footsteps come closer into Adam’s room. “Terminator, got it... What was it before you squished it?”

“I dunno, a bigass bedbug commin’ to bite a girl’s purty tush?” After her sarcastic remark, she straightened up, turned to pull me in tightly, and barked: “Get outta here!”

A surprised Denis sputtered out: “Buh-but you called --”

“Git-git!” She swung her messy hand at him and I could’ve sworn I heard the noise of that black goo having splattered.

“YUCK!” Despite the man of the house’s displeasure of being hit with what I could only assume were bug guts, in response his wife roared with laughter. “Yeech… Gee, thanks. Let me show you how much I appreciate sharing.”

“Nekkid!” Without warning, she abruptly turned to show me cowering in her arms to a now surprised, then shocked, and a shamefully blushing husband. As he lowered his outstretched arms, his wife asked: “Wanna hug, ya?”

“Cheater.” Above my head, I felt before I saw Helen stick out her tongue at Denis. In his retreat from the bedroom to I supposed the bathroom to get washed up, he shouted back, “Give me a holler when the lasagna is ready!”

“It’s been ready!” She sighed and gave me a pat on my back. “He’s really somet’in’, isn’t he?”

Having witnessed the antics of this household, I knew clothes were a must. “I -- I’d like to get dressed now.”

“You feelin’ any better?” I looked up at her, and in a silent response, I smiled and nodded. She returned the smile. “Anything troubles you, ya come straight to me, ‘kay?”

“Sure,” and I probably would.

“Good.” Once again, she hooked up a strongarm and posed. With a wink, she said, “I’ll protect ya.” She hadn’t made a move yet, and a moment of silence had passed between us before she spoke again. “Clem?”

To get ready for getting up and off the bed, she had shifted a little towards the door. I hadn’t heard her say more, so I assumed she wanted me to respond.

So I gave her a tiny, “Hm?”

She faced the door as I was given a reminder. “Remember your ralphing?” I just gave her a squeeze in response. “Yee-aahh… after that delightful session, I decided -- whatever is fine.”

“...Huh?” I was bewildered, and had to connect some missing dots here.

“Yer teensy little one needs a name to be callin’ me.” Now I remembered. I brought up what my child should call her, and how she immediately responded and got us moving out of the bathroom. “I’m fine with that fo’ a favor. Denis doesn’t get a choice: he’s Grandpa.” Then was when she turned back to give me this most ridiculously serious look, and in a mockingly gruff voice, she asked: “Deal?”

A laugh bubbled up and burst from me. “Okay, hehe -- deal”

As she let go and slid off of the bed, I pulled the sheets back up to cover myself. I watched as she walked to the bedroom doorway. I had planned to get out from under the covers and dress when I had the room to myself.

Like lightning, an idea struck me instantly. “Can we bring Adam with us when we do go tomorrow?”

She was genuinely curious, so I couldn’t tell if she was for or against the idea. “Ah, why do ya want him to tag along?” I glanced down for a second. Adjusting my hold on the sheets that covered me in one hand, I held up the other to display my wiggling fingers. She was only confused for one second before her eyes nearly bulged out in shock. “Really!?” She raised her index finger straight up in the air and said, “Ah, hold that thought.”

Helen disappeared from my view quickly down the hall. I really hoped that I hadn’t caused trouble, but there was no way I would keep getting engaged a secret.

A moment later, I heard a high pitched squeal of delight. As I was discovering this family to be kinda quirky, I quietly spoke to myself: “I really hope that was Helen and not one of the guys.”

Since I was left alone, I slipped out of bed and walked in a hurry to shut the bedroom door before I tried on any of Adam’s clothes. I was beginning to realize how much I’d been relying on Adam’s family and having done anything in return.

What I had done: I’d cooked. But that had sadly been at Helen’s expense. Regardless of the chatty Hellion making me ill, this situation had honestly made me feel even more sick. It reminded me of my past self on how much I relied on others to do my work.

Especially the dirty kind of work.

“And you decided to depend on me to care for you?” Placing a gentle hand on my flat abdomen, I stated that question knowing it would not be heard, let alone get a response. I felt insecure without someone at my side. With a gentle rub, I continued to speak to the life in me. “How can you trust me? Is it because you know your real parent will do something to me if I fail as a mom?” I shook my head while a dismal laugh escaped me. “I promise I’ll try my best.”

My eyes felt slightly cool. That gave me the sign to stop this kind of thought and talk before I teared up again.

For a couple of seconds, I was confused. Then surprised when I realized the shadow of Grandma hadn’t spoken a word for a few minutes.

It appeared she had vanished. That was unexpected, but I wasn’t going to complain.

I looked around for some clothes and began to pick out what I would wear for the dinner. I thought a white shirt would look nice, imagining how neat and pure I would appear while eating.

But if I got any of the lasagna on it, I would make the opposite impression. “Okay, not a good plan.”

So I found a colored shirt: green. It would still be highlighted with a dark spot if I spilled anything on myself, but it wouldn’t raise any of the expectations that I’d initially intended with the white shirt.

The family would just smirk or laugh at my clumsiness and offer me a napkin or something. At least, I hoped so...

The second thing I looked for was a pair of pants to complement the green color. The best color would have been a red, but I could only find a dark brown pair. At least these wouldn’t stain badly if something dropped on them.

For a moment, I had to wonder why I was being pessimistic about my cleanliness. “I’ll just be careful.” After grabbing and pulling on a pair of Adam’s boxers -- and the brown pants -- I slowly sat down on his bed in confusion again. I had begun to realize something about myself and it disturbed me. “This isn’t right.”

With a look back at the spot where Adam and I had laid, I reviewed how I’d reacted and responded to him after this incident. It felt like I was beating a dead horse, but what he had done would have angered any normal person.

The fact was, I knew what had happened wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. I should have done something to get over it already rather than drag this out.

That was what felt wrong. Since last night up ‘till now, I only spoke to him about being raped. He’d be filled with total guilt until some form of punishment were to be met out.

Guilt trippin was not my thing.

“That’s something Erin would have done to me.” I looked away from the bed and came to a worrisome possibility: “Am I thinking like a woman now?” Shaking my head, I half-doubted how I’d handled Adam had any relation to being a girl. I reasoned: “I love Adam enough that I don’t want him to get hurt…” I shook my head again. “Fuck.” I reasoned out what I would’ve wanted. “He does, doesn’t he?”

I had to wonder what was worse, ’To give Adam a quick love tap or to be slowly consumed with guilt?’

I got up and opened the bedroom door to poke my head out.

Nobody around. I had no idea why I thought he’d be just outside the door.

“Adam!?” I yelled down the hall and listened for a response.

Instead, I saw Adam’s head poke around the corner from the kitchen and stare back at me. We sort of looked at each other with surprised wide eyes -- me, because I didn’t expect him to show like that, and he, probably wondering what the fuss was about.

“Sorry, but do you have a moment to put the Dad and Son talk on pause?” I waved for him to come here. “I need to speak with you.”

He looked back over his shoulder, then back to me. “Ah, right now?”

I nodded, but said, “As soon as you can?”

He disappeared a moment and I heard a muffle of voices. I wasn’t sure if they were whispering or if the spot I stood in wasn’t a good place to eavesdrop. I ducked back into the bedroom and waited.

After a minute, Adam came back and closed the door behind him.

Right away, he asked me: “You okay?”

I shook my head and told him bluntly that I wasn’t. “I had second thoughts.” Looking down at the floor, I shook my head again. Then I closed my eyes to focus on what I wanted to say. “First, I don’t want the idea I had on picking the ring to be a punishment. Forget about what I said --”

“Clint, I’m -- I’m good. Given time, I’ll come up a way to pay them back.” I looked back up at him and shook my head in response.

“What have I done here that has earned any respect?” He was instantly thrown into confusion by what I just said, but I held up my hands to keep him from interrupting me. “Adam, I want to be worth something. So far, I see myself as a burden -- no, a danger to you and your family.” That had been the truth. He’d endured being controlled twice and paid for it by losing confidence around me. “I need this. I need to do something.”

He looked more confused for a moment. Then he lightened up and asked: “Sounds cool with me, but what do -- what’s on your mind?”

“Okay, second: I’m sorry for how I acted when I woke up.” I nodded as I added: “Yeah, I should have been angry, but how I -- whatever I did back there, that’s not right. That’s not me.” I pointed at him, then to myself as I said, “Man-to-man, I think you will appreciate this more than -- like I said, that passive aggressive bullshit back there.”

There was some of the upset emotion in my voice and I was frowning at this point, but I tried not to break up anymore than I had before. I had to get this done and over with.

Adam just stared at me in silence. I was certain that he had no clue what I was talking about -- at least what I intended to do -- but I hoped he comprehended that I didn’t mean to make our relationship, let alone this engagement, a negative aspect in our lives.

This would be the first time I’d done this, and I felt a tingling sensation in my palms. It was like static as it traveled to shock and lock my slender fingers. A numb vibration in each bone of my hands’ appendages. I held back. A restraint that could only last so long before I gained enough courage to carry out a man’s punishment. He didn’t deserve to be hurt, but if I didn’t do this, both of us would feel like we were being eaten up and gradually hollowed out from our guilt.

Swiftly -- and with the surprise of my ultimately rare violence -- the palm of my hand caught his face with enough force to throw him off balance.

While his head would still be reeling from my blow, I rushed quickly to hug him. I didn’t know if he was aware or had not acknowledged me, but I told him: “I’m sorry.” I buried my face down onto his shoulder and waited anxiously on how he would respond.

A few agonizing minutes went by in silence. I was worried I had made a mistake by striking him. I just wanted the both of us to rewind time a little, to be the way it was before he started doubting himself.

I tried to hold it back, but an overpowering emotion in my voice cracked out when I broke the silence. “I want you at my side.”

“You okay Clint?” I whimpered out a laugh before I began to snivel.

I’d expected -- planned on it -- for him to ask me if we were even, or at the very least, forgiven. I wondered, ’How could Adam, who had just been smacked hard enough for his teeth to be rattled, be more concerned about me?’

I crammed my face into his neck and shoulder, and just like I had with his mom, I rubbed my tear stricken face onto his shirt. Then I nodded and sobbed, and with a mumble, I answered back, “Yes.” I was pulled firmly into his invitingly lean body to be enveloped in the warmth of his fond hug -- and I dearly wanted this moment to last forever.

“That did hurt,” he mentioned as a matter of fact and I snickered away my sullen mood in response. “Ah, what should I tell my parents if they ask about the mark?”

That had not crossed my mind.

Reluctantly, I pulled away to take a look at his cheek. A nice red handprint glowed across his face rather than just on the side of his cheek.

I had done a real number on him. He would heal, but there would definitely be a nasty bruise there.

Then I recalled Grandma, or at least the nasty duplicate, had mentioned something about my strength.

I cringed and said, “Sorry. I’ll tell them that I hit you.”

“That’s the prop-- ow. Ah, problem.” I watched him lick over and around his teeth before he explained the issue. “They’ll want to know why.”

“You okay?” I tried to sound more concerned and keep the laughter out of my voice, but not sure if I had done so well at that.

“A bit tingly.” He shrugged it off and said, “No big deal.”

“Um… as for your parents, I’ll tell them the truth.” Adam actually paled at that and I had to laugh a little more at how doelike he had become. “Sorry, I meant about this morning. Your mom might understand.”

“Oh… I -- yeah, that might -- I did deserve that for running out on you, huh?” I casually smirked, and to copy him, I shrugged. He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t be -- I’m not ready for this.”

A sigh slipped out of me as I nodded. “I know. Neither am I… and I really don’t want to be alone.”

“I’m not going to push you away.” He tilted his head and mentioned: “Even if you might get fat.” I scrunched my lips up like a sucker and gave his ribs a pinch. “Ow! Does this count as spousal abuse?”

“Not married yet, so no.” I pinched again.

“Ouch! Okay, okay! I’m sorry! You won’t get fat.” More laughter escaped me while he made mention of an important point. “Ah, speaking of gaining weight -- dinner?”

Giving him a nod, I said, “Hopefully you all will enjoy it. Never tried my hand cooking this kind of lasagna before.”

With the both of us clearly feeling better, we broke away from each other to walk out of his room for the kitchen. I was finally going to settled down with his family...