Chapter 5. The Call of The Void
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It's been two weeks since the summer vacation began. I've been spending my days mostly playing with Theo. I say "playing" but all we did was just spend all morning and afternoon in the library or took a stroll in the garden since it turned out that Theo's body was in much worse shape than we had expected. He had been malnourished for many years, it even happened in his important growth period. Not to mention, his unstable mental state also indirectly affected his physical condition. 

When I heard about this, I felt like my heart was squeezed. I had wondered why Theo was so small. He's 12 years old, only a year younger than me, but his body was like 7-8 years old's. When we had the Imperial Doctor examine him, we found out not only was his skin unhealthily pale, his sharp ribs were also really concerning. I didn't dare to imagine how he survived until now. To be treated so horribly when he was this weak already, the villainess was really the worst. 

I've said it, but his mental condition was no less worrisome. I didn't notice much at first, but after accompanying him for a few days, I realized that Theo would immediately go into a daze whenever he wasn't engaged in a conversation or if he wasn't focused on a book. At these times, his face turned stiff and emotionless while his eyes became like that of a dead fish. And the scariest thing was, he had a serious case of l'appel du vide. I often heard a tiny voice in his mind, which sounded a lot like his, telling him that "flying" out from the library window on the third floor would feel so good and that he would be "free" by doing it. 

This "voice" was his darkness that originated from the "void" within his heart. The darkness kept growing by eating everything within him, and just like a black hole, he would be eaten whole in the end. Theo was still too young to realize what had happened to him. When that accident happened, it stimulated him even more and hastened the growing darkness, turning him into a psycho. Then Elena appeared in his life and became his only light, meeting her was his salvation. 

But right now Elena wasn't here. I couldn't let Theo be eaten further by his darkness, and hearing that voice was really bad for my heart. That's why I tried hard to be by his side as much as possible so that I could snap him out every time it surfaces. I even accepted being Theo's temporary tutor. 

But didn't that exactly follow the game plot? To be honest, I was going to adamantly refuse when Father asked me to teach Theo the basics of the aristocracy. Now that I knew the psycho Theo was already in there threatening to come out anytime, I would definitely feel nervous around him regardless of how harmless he acted. Many children with mental issues were often over-sensitive to people's attitudes towards them. They could sense if people don't like them and their reactions to that were anything but good. I knew that much because I had been in their shoes before. 

"Me? Become Theo's tutor?"

"Yes. I'm sure you're more than capable of teaching him the basics."

"But isn't it better to hire a professional tutor? What about Madam Morgan? The one whose Father had hired to tutor me before?"

"Countess Morgan had retired last year, unfortunately, and I couldn't find anyone as good as her. So I figured Eira, as her last student, will be able to do it."

Huh?! What kind of absurd reason is that?! I never taught people before, how can you know I'd do as good as her?! "Father, I believe this is too soon. Why won't we wait until his health becomes better first?"

"Yes, I also think that much━"

"Then!" Let's do that! And while we wait, you can find someone better to teach him!

"━but, Theo likes to study. So I want to let him do what he likes to do."

"..."

I had no response to that. I almost forgot that boy was the same as Father, a genius who seemed to have a boundless thirst for knowledge.

"Well, if you really don't want to, can you at least accompany him? I'm worried, he tends to forget his surroundings once immersed in books."

Right, he also loved books. It was his only comfort that helped him to go through those 6 painful years. Not only the game, but Father also told me the same things. When he lived at the orphanage and the Balfour family house, the library had always been his favorite hiding place. Well, there weren't enough books in those places to call it a library, but it's enough for Theo at that time. He would go there and read books all day when he didn't have to do any chores, moreover the other children won't go there since they hated studying and books. 

Uugghh… What should I do? Theo didn't have any weird thoughts except for that creepy "voice", and until now, I always woke him up before it could do something, so it's alright, maybe? Also, his gloomy thoughts have gradually disappeared and he's more cheerful now. Things are surely looking better compared to the game, but I couldn't shake this unsettling feeling… 

(She looks troubled, should I just assign a maid for Theo? Although, it would be great if they start to know each other better soon. Eira also cares for him after all.)

...Assign a maid? Oh! That's it! That's why it feels like something amiss! When I heard Father's thoughts, I remembered something abruptly. It made me break out in cold sweat and I changed my mind instantly.

"Father! I'll be his tutor!"

"Oh? Are you sure?"

"Yes! ...Ah, but I have to go back to school when summer vacation ends."

"Of course, it will only be until then. Thank you, Eira. You are already a good big sister." (Hmm, I hope it doesn't turn into possessiveness.)

"What?"

"Hm? It's nothing."

Huh? What was that… 

Sitting behind his desk stacked full with documents like always, Father gave me a satisfied smile. 

Thus I became Theo's tutor and began "playing" with him every day. He was bewildered when I first picked him up in his room. His thoughts were swirling with confusion and even fear sometimes. But when I guided him to our library, all of that was replaced by awe. He was so excited that he lost his voice, and he kept looking alternately between me and the dozens of neatly-lined-up bookshelves with wide eyes. Although seconds later, he quickly regained himself back and asked if he was allowed to read the books with a timid and overly polite manner. He was clearly more guarded around me compared to the adults. Might be because of those traumatic experiences with older kids. 

"You can read all the books here, but don't overdo it and remember to take a break. Father asked me to teach you about aristocracy, but I never taught anyone before so let's just read some related books. And if you have any questions, you can tell me." 

"...Does that mean Elder Sister will stay with me?"

"Yes, I'll stay with you and tutor you every day during summer vacation."

"...But, it's summer vacation?" (Why does she spend it with me? Doesn't she have something else to do?)

"That's right. What? You don't want me to tutor you?" Uh-oh, that sounded curt. I couldn't help it, hearing his constantly cautious thoughts had ticked me off a bit.

"!! N-no!! P-please tutor me!!" Theo flinched and his pale face became even more pallid as he chirped away an answer. Then it appeared.

('She's mad at you…' I made her mad!! 'You bad boy…' What should I do?! 'She doesn't like you…' Will I get scolded?! 'She'll curse you…' Will she hit me?! 'She'll beat you…' Will I get kicked out of here?! 'They'll abandon you…' No, no, no, what should I do?! 'They'll throw away you bad boy…' I-I must apologize!!) "I-I'm so━!"

I quickly caught his arms to prevent him from kneeling. Surprised, he looked up at me, his frightful expression made shivers run down my spine. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, while I tried hard to maintain my indifferent face. 

"What are you trying to do?" 

I didn't know how, but somehow I managed to control my voice to sound as calm as possible. But Theo's complexion didn't change at all. Instead, I could feel his body begin trembling through his arms.

"I-I'm so-sorry, Elder Sister. Please d-don't h-hi-hit me."

"Why would I hit you? And why are you apologizing?"

"U-um, be-because I was rude to Elder Sister just now."

"Rude? How so? Anyway, don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Stand up."

I pulled his body up gently then patted his head to appease him the way Father always does. But it only made his pallid face show traces of puzzlement as he stood there in a daze. 

That's dangerous!! His mind literally went out of control just now!

That was the first time I heard that "voice" and it almost gave me a heart attack. I thought it was someone else's voice at first because it sounded a bit different from Theo's and kind of lifeless. But it took me only a second before I realized it was actually coming from his mind. It's a Godsend that I could keep my outward calm, even though the inside was a panicked mess. 

After that, I turned his attention back to the books and he's finally calmed down. Theo was the most cheerful when we talked about books. Even if I gave him the most boring books about aristocratic structure, the duties of the nobles, or nobles etiquettes, his eyes were still all sparkly and shiny. He was the perfect embodiment of a bookworm.

Theo was smart so he didn't disappoint me when I expected a lot of questions from him. He also quickly understood even though I only explained a topic once. He's an excellent student, and teaching him was unexpectedly fun. But even though I kept an eye so he didn't burn himself out, as I thought it was still too early for him to start studying.

*Knock* *Knock*

"Theo, it's me," I called from in front of his door carefully, wondering if he's still asleep. 

(Elder Sister?) "Please come in."

I heard his weak voice from inside the room and opened the door, pushing a serving cart with a bowl of warm porridge on it. This morning Theo had a fever because of exhaustion and stress due to drastic changes in his surroundings. His temperature was quite high so it's causing a little commotion, but the doctor finally came and gave him medicine. So after convincing the adults that he would be fine and they should go to work, I succeeded in letting him rest peacefully. 

"How are you feeling?"

 "I'm feeling better." 

The moment I entered the room, he tried to sit up so I rushed to help him. Looks like his fever has gone down, he also sweated a lot, making his pajamas a bit damp.

"That's good. I brought you porridge. You must eat before taking the medicine, but don't force yourself to finish it if you can't."

 "Yes, I'll eat. Thank you." (Uuh, my body's sticky.)

Theo was conscious of his sweaty body and he tried to scuffle away from me, maybe afraid if he's smelly. 

"Hm. But before that, let's ask the maids to wipe your body with hot towels."

When I declared and rang the bell on the bedside table to call a maid, Theo's shoulders twitched. He wasn't used to being served by many people yet. When the doctor examined him for the first time, aside from the family members, there were also a few maids who helped him undress and dress back. At that time, his cheeks blushed with a faint pink color and he shut his eyes most of the time. He's so cute that it hurt when his frail body was revealed.

Speaking of which, Father still hasn't assigned a personal maid for Theo yet. This was due to my advice. The reason I told Father was that he wasn't used to the people here yet. I didn't lie, but the other reason was that there's also that wicked maid who abused Theo in the game.

It occurred to me when I heard Father that day. Even though I wanted to avoid that accident at all costs, there's no guarantee it would never happen if I can't find her. Honestly, I wasn't sure if she's here or not, but the chance was still high so it didn't hurt to take precautions. Unfortunately, there's almost no clue regarding her. The game didn't name that maid and in the only CG which told about that accident, that maid's face had to be cast by shadows!

How do I know who that maid might be?!

There were at least 200 employees in the Bellux Family's mansion including maids, butlers, guards, cooks, gardeners, and hostlers. Among them, there were around 60 women who worked as maids. It wasn't impossible to find her, but it was still such a pain. 

What should I do to find her? Trailing the maids one by one is out of the question. It takes too much time and besides I must tutor Theo. Using my ability in a wide range is also impossible. It's still too much even if I only use it for a few hours. I'll die because of headaches if I have to use it for days. 

While I mulled over this again, a maid came and I told her to prepare hot towels for Theo. A few minutes after she left, the maids came to help Theo clean his body and changed his pajamas. I stayed in the room, straining my ears to catch all their thoughts. As usual, our maids worked in a well-organized manner, but sometimes I heard their soft giggles along with their amusing thoughts about how cute their new young master was. 

It relieved me that many maids were also fond of him now. Well, who wouldn't, with how adorable he was. Although he was ashamed to the point of wanting to run away, he still obediently accepted being served by the servants and thanked them sincerely. This earnest attitude has won the hearts of the servants, and now many were more than willing to serve him. Nonetheless, even if I've been keeping a close watch these days, I couldn't find that particular maid yet.

After they finished helping Theo, the maids withdrew from the room. Seeing me place a folding tray table on his bed, he hesitated. 

"Elder Sister, I'm fine. I can eat at the table."

"No. You still need a lot of rest."

I motioned to him to get back to the bed. He was reluctant, but in the end, he complied and ate the porridge while sitting on the bed. His lips still pursed with a bit of dissatisfaction though. 

(I want to read the continuation.)

Lately, Theo has been more relaxed around me and let his emotions show like this sometimes. It's a good sign and I definitely wanted to carry on with this trend. That's why I reached into my pouch hanging at my waist and brought a book out from inside. 

"This is the second volume of the biographical novel you started yesterday. You can read a bit after you take the medicine, but only for 30 minutes."

Theo seemed to be very interested in history, especially in the history of the Empire's founding. He's been reading books about the heroic tale of the founding Emperor, and the biographical novel he started yesterday had become his favorite. Sure enough, his eyes sparkled instantly.

"Thank you Elder Sister!"

After saying so, he quickly finished the porridge then took his medicine. By the time I put away the empty bowl and the folding table, he already focused on the book. A few minutes passed and I decided to sit down by the bedside chair to read a book myself. When I reached into my pouch again, I found that Theo was staring at it.

"What is it?"

"Oh, um, your pouch is small, but the book can fit. Is it a magic item?"

Aside from aristocracy, I've been teaching Theo a little about the basics of magic technology. As the descendants of the first Mage, the knowledge of magic was our family's treasure. And as the family's heir, it was inevitable that Theo must understand and master it to a certain degree. He's been indulged in history books, so I was glad he also showed interest in magic technology. 

"Yes, this is a Magic Bag. A Magic Circuit has been embroidered on the inner layer of the pouch. It created another spatial space inside, so now it can hold more items than what it originally can."

I flipped out a part of the pouch's inside to show the Magic Circuit embroidered on it. Theo observed it for a moment and realized something.

"Elder Sister, this Magic Circuit doesn't have a Magic Stone embroidered along with it. How can the magic still be activated?"

He had good eyes. Somehow it felt nice when he noticed something based on what I taught him before. 

"This Magic Circuit is a bit special. It doesn't need a Magic Stone to power the activation of the magic."

"Really? I thought every Magic Circuit needs a Magic Stone."

No, you're right. 

All Magic Circuits indeed needed Magic Stones to activate the magic. That's the common practice, and actually, this was the only way for everyone to be able to use magic. But it was different for me as now I was the Mage. I didn't need a Magic Stone since I could just use the Magic Energy inside of me.

In the case of this Magic Circuit, I replaced some of its simplified runes with an ancient rune to switch the power source over to me instead of a Magic Stone. It sounded exhausting because in this way I had to supply Magic Energy into the pouch continuously. Well, in the first place, I modified the Magic Circuit on this pouch to determine the extent of my power. The Magic Circuit used for a Magic Bag is categorized at the intermediate level, so the power consumption was fairly high even though it only created a small space. But surprisingly, it didn't tire me as much as I thought even after doing this for a week... 

Anyway, let’s put that matter aside for now. As it was quite complicated to explain, I just told Theo that I used a special technique, and his eyes flashed.

"Um, Elder Sister, will you teach me how to make a Magic Bag as well?"

"Do you want a Magic Bag?"

"Yes, it'll be very convenient if I want to bring some books with me."

"...You really love books, huh?" I blinked and couldn’t help muttering.

"Yes!" 

Such a vigorous answer came out from his mouth for the first time, and I was taken aback. It made me curious about why he loved books so much. Sure, it was the only thing that kept him sane throughout all those years but seeing this high-spirited gaze, I felt like it meant more than that to him.

My stunned expression might be obvious because Theo awkwardly coughed as he corrected his manner. He noticed my curious stare and he opened his mouth several times, but it was only after many minutes that words came out. 

“Books are full of the things I don't know, and it's fun to learn new things. Elder Sister, do you know? In the far north, lived thousands of birds that can't fly, but expert swimmers and divers, and hunt fish to eat? Their bodies are shaped more like a fish with a waterproof coat and they use their supposed wings to swim instead."

"Ah, I know. They're called penguins, right?"

Theo began telling me about the things he had read before. His voice sounded excited and a big smile spread across his lips, but it's too big that it looked forced.

"There are also many books which tell about faraway places, and it looks like there are many beautiful and interesting places on the continent. There's a wide garden full of purple flowers and a vast wheat field that looks like an infinite golden carpet. Oh! There's also the sea! Its water sparkles under the sun, and there's also the beautiful white sand beach! The book's illustrations are so good, it would be nice to go there."

"I'm sure you can visit them one day."

Although it was faint, I could hear the trembling in his voice. He lowered his head to avoid my eyes, but his bitter smile was still in plain sight. This isn't good.

"Theo."

"Books are really wonderful. It contains a lot of important knowledge. I should've read more books back then. You know there's a book at the orphanage which tells about vegetables and fruit nutrition. It says apples and berries are good to ease a stomach ulcer. Apples have this compound that can help the stomach heal, and raspberries can help to protect the stomach."

"Theo…"

He seemed unable to hear me and kept on talking. I saw his hand unconsciously raised to his chest, grabbing something under his pajama. A jingling sound could be heard, and I immediately knew what he was holding. 

"My mother loved raspberries...”

Crap!!

('Right, mother loves raspberries…' Yes, she loves to make jam with it... 'But mother always gives them to you…' Yes... 'Poor mother, if only she can eat more…' If she can eat more…? 'Mother might not be so tired...' Not tired... 'Mother might not be sick…' Not sick… 'Mother might still be here…' Mother here… 'You should have let mother eat…' I… 'You should have known that mother's tired…' I... 'You should have not let mother be sick…' I… 'It is your fault…' My… 'It is your fault mother die━)

"Theo!!!"

I shook his shoulder roughly. Only after that did my voice finally reach him. I suppressed the desire to curse and carefully called out to Theo several times to make sure that his consciousness had returned.

That "voice" was still haunting Theo. Even though it rarely appeared as of late, somehow its effect got more and more dangerous every time it did. 

Like this, won't he still end up being a psycho even if nothing happens?

The future suddenly looked bleak.

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