At that split moment, everything came crashing down—every single lie that had formed the foundation of my life. Without knowing, I had been laughing, a hollow melody mocking me as it forced its way through my body. 

Not for a single moment had I regretted growing up in the suburbs instead of the walled palace, but to think of all the sleepless nights suffering from guilt when my parents were the ones who cast me away, my heart trembled painfully. 

Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them back. What was there to weep for? This story was the most humorous I have ever heard in my entire life, the most impractical joke. 

If I had left without ever hearing these words, then perhaps I could have passed into my next life thinking I made a noble sacrifice. But now— 

No more guilt. No more compliance. I wasn't going to watch silently anymore as people nor fate decided my future for me.

I pushed open the door, the last standing barrier between the past me and me.

"I heard." This time, my voice didn't waver. "Uncle and Aunt, I implore you to tell me the truth. Who are my parents?" 

They exchanged glances with one another, obviously shocked that I suddenly barged in.

"Well, we were speaking of the North," my uncle replied, dodging eye contact.

"Tell me who my parents are." This time, I made sure that it was a statement and not a question.

The air was still.

My uncle and aunt opened their mouths, hesitated, then pursed their lips again.

An eternity seemed to pass.

"Your father is the current emperor of Liang, and your mother is my sister, Empress Zhang." He slumped backward as if saying those words consumed all of his strength.

Though I was the one who pressed for an answer, when the truth was told to my face, my mind went blank. 

"Youshi, don't ever tell anyone of this. Aiya, they wanted you to enjoy a normal life and not be confined to the palace," my aunt looked like she was on the verge of fainting, clutching to the edge of the table to help stabilize herself.

I nodded slowly, not knowing anymore whether I was even listening. 

All of my past blurred together and exploded. More than any time before, I wanted to be completely selfish and block out their sides of the story and focus on my own sorrows. 

"You should have grown up in the palace where you were a carefully polished pearl, but instead, you had to learn all the hardships of living. Cooking, sewing, cleaning, you should have never had to do any of that. We…" Her phrases came in bursts of hiccups as she struggled for air. "But they care for you just as we do. If you weren't born in the second month… "

She scrambled for the dresser and pulled out a box, nearing tripping as she handed me the plain wooden chest.

"Open it," she urged, lightly patting my back. Sensing her familiar touch, I instead flinched. They were the ones I trusted the most, yet they knew about this all along and kept me in the dark. 

Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be harsh with them. They had treated me with nothing but kindness, but the shock came before all, engulfing whatever sense of morality and goodness I had in me.

I ran my fingers over the top, took a deep breath, and opened the lid. In it were countless frayed letters all signed off by the name of "Sister."

I picked a random one and began reading.

"Dear Brother, you last said that Youshi had been losing her baby teeth. Make sure not to let her eat anything hard, especially those red bean pastries she likes…"

The ink was fading, and the paper was yellow. It was so fragile, easily crumpled or burned in just seconds. I wanted to throw the chest on the ground, but my eyes were glued to the letters. 

"Dear Brother, sorry for not writing soon, but it has been a rough time here at court. The North wants us to support them in their conquests, but the famine has killed thousands of our citizens already and made us even weaker. Are you unaffected and well? It has been more than ten years since you last visited. Next time, you should take Youshi with you. I'll be content watching her from a distance…"

Moments earlier, I wanted to direct all my hate towards these parents that abandoned me and to blame all of my silent anguish on them. Yet these letters made it so hard for me to do so. How I wanted to have at least someone to blame and curse, but we were all suffering in this play of fate. I thought I could pretend not to see their hardships, but as much as I wished I could, I couldn't bring myself to hate these two strangers who had birthed me.

The more I read, the more—

A loud neigh accompanied by brisk knocks on the front door jerked all three of us back to reality. "It's me! Hurry!"

My uncle must have known the voice because he wasted no time tidying or hiding the letters and immediately ran to the door.

A man stood by the entrance, dressed in the silky robes of the imperial court. He walked briskly inside, hastily closing the door behind him. "Tell her to pack her things and leave. Before tomorrow morning, she has to be gone."

Then he saw me sitting in their bedroom. His eyes widened to see me still up and even more so to see the letters sprawled before me. "How much does she know?"

"All of it," I responded in place of my uncle, seeing he was reluctant to speak. My heart was pounding violently, threatening to break free of my body. 

"The empress will not be happy about this!" the man hissed. "Forget all of this and go before it's too late… Fourth Princess."

The title was alien to me. This day had taken yet another turn, throwing me even more off-guard. 

"Just today, the court has decided to wed you to the North to preserve our kingdom's peace and independence. The officials escorting you to the palace will be here by dawn, so take the necessities and run away as fast as you can! Empress has already found a double for you, and she'll be given away instead."

My aunt's face turned to ghostly white. "The prophecy…" she muttered. "Aiya, Youshi, what are you doing still standing there? Go!" She pushed me towards the door. 

From my empty stomach, I could feel a bitter and acidic liquid rise up towards my throat, burning every inch of me from within. 

"They're a cruel land. The current emperor seized the throne from his own grandson!" my uncle rushed over and shook me. "The palace is a cage of bone, hardly a place for someone as pure as you. You've always wanted to pursue medicine, so go! Run towards the mountains and open a clinic! No one will ever suspect you!"

In just one day, my world had flipped itself upside down. Looking back, my dreams of becoming a medic seemed so far away, almost like they were my mere imaginations from another lifetime.

I turned to grab the parcel I had packed and then promptly paused. 

What was left of that dream other than the ashes of the apothecary? I had nothing here but the reputation of a curse. 

My whole life had been written out for me as if a script. I was tired of being a puppet, cast away and then called back when needed.

There would be no more running from confrontation. This time, I chose to write my own fate, even if the unknown spelled certain death.

"I'm staying."