Maybe I forgot to mention before but, dungeons are fucking crazy.  Many dungeons have been around for centuries.  Even millennia.  And their lowest levels?  Were once on the surface.

Attracted by the denser mana, exotic materials, and relative "safety" from surface world authorities.  A very diverse population can be found in the deep dark.

Most eventually die out.  But the subterranean nations they create can do some seriously shocking shit before they fade and fall.

Over hundreds, even thousands, of years these achievements, like the giant statues cavern, start piling on top of each other.  So beyond the bizarre natural stuff you can find, like cavern forests, you can see some truly impressive architecture.

Like a canyon full of bridges.

There must be hundreds of them.  So many different shapes and sizes too.  It's like someone pointed an architect at the grand canyon and said, “go wild.”

Brat pack drag me down a tunnel road they have been exploring.  Hey, it's safe, I’ve had my shadows watching out for them.  And that tunnel led to… this.

There is a yellowish orange light source, and a shitload of heat, coming up from way down below.  Guess at the bottom of this gorge is a river of, lava?

Scattered polished and angled surfaces along the walls reflect the light back.  Leaving surprisingly few spots for shadows.

Honestly?  After spending days in caverns and tunnels only dimly lit by torches, oil lamps, magic, and glowing plants?  It’s too bright.  Plus so dry you feel like you’ve been dumped in the sahara.  Somehow the heat is even more oppressive here.  Could get a tan from this.

The bridges themselves all appear to be stone.  Some looking like they were carved more than built.  Dozens have fallen apart.  Partially or completely.  But many many more look in excellent shape.  All sorts of sizes too.  From barely foot bridges to ones that three or four wagons could cross side by side.

A field of viaducts stretching out to the right, left, above, and below.  As far as you can see.

Panning your eyes across, you can almost hear the soundtrack to a PJ film playing in the background.

And each one of them?  Stupid fancy.  Every inch like a sculptor had way too much time on his hands.  Reliefs of people, beasts, buildings, battles, nature, and more, are carved into every surface.

Maybe it would seem less ridiculous if they were all actually usable.  Many of those I can see?  Just run from one wall to the other.  Spanning the gorge but not actually leading anywhere.

Look at Mila for answers but she just shrugs.  Guess she’s never been down this deep.

Foxy and even Ushi shrug too.

At least before us there is a crossing we can use.  Looks plenty wide and sturdy enough even for the bone cadillacs to handle.  The “road,” continues on the other side.  Going through a large hall of columns before disappearing into the distance.

Huh.  Looks kind of, familiar.

*Rooaaarrr* *thoom* *thoom* *thoom*

In the shadowy depths, beyond the canyon’s light, of the cavern opposite us I see, flame?  A guttural roar and heavy steps show something big is on the move.  Coming towards us.

“Wait!  Is this?  Really?”

Yeah, I admit it.  I’m excited.

“No way…”

Think Hitomi is excited too since she walked up next to me.  Everyone else?  Concerned or confused.

“Its.  Its.”

My JK girl and I are both bouncing a little and have grabbed each other’s sleeves.  Anxious to see what will be revealed.  Yes, we both liked the movies and while I am sadly still beardless?  We are both nerdgasming over the chance we might be able to yell, “You, shall not, pass!” soon.

*thoom* *thoom*

Almost there…

“Intruders!  Defilers!  Betrayers!”

…

Sigh.

It's no hundred foot tall mean mother of fire and shadow.  More like ten feet tall.  Maybe fifteen?  And yeah, he's a he because, yeah, there’s a schlong.

Seriously.  Are slacks really that hard to make?  Trousers that terrible?  Pants too perilous?  This one even has some armor on but leaves his johnson swinging free?  What, the, fuck.

“Hey!  Mind covering that up!  We got kids here!”

Before my complaint, the harem had already responded.  Covering up the boys’ and girls’ eyes.  Oddly enough, my harem seems unimpressed.  With how aggressive and bold they’ve been getting I figured there would be some reaction.

Didn’t want panting or drooling but maybe at least cursing.  Something.  They all seem, surprisingly, unperturbed.  Huh.  Why does that make me feel good?  Proud?  What do you know.  Maybe I really do got it going on.

Well, as long as I don’t get too cocky about it.

Six pairs of eyes roll at the same time.  Damn [See Thru Husbands Antics] cheat.

“You have trod upon infernal ground!  Desecrated her blessed place with your presence!”

Mister schlong does remind me a bit of the demons I killed when I first arrived.  But there’s a definite difference.  This guy seems, what, nobler?  Refined?  Not sure what the right word would be.

He’s definitely more “human,” than the other demons I've seen.  Well, except for the horns.  Those are some big fucking bat wings too. Got the whole red theme.

“Master, be cautious."  Frankie drops some knowledge.  "That is not a demon!”

Eh?

Then what is-

“Devil.”

Hitomi catches on faster than me.  Then again, she’s fought demons for months in Aquecia.  So she should know what is, and isn’t, one a lot better than me.

But…  A devil?

“Yes Lady Chigusa.”  Frankie continues.  “A fallen angel of a fallen god.  They are much stronger than demons.  Master, we should leave.”

“Wha?”

“Please master.  A devil is not something we are ready to fight.  If that is here then an enemy of the mandate is here too.”

“A what?”

Red jumps in.

“A god, husband.  A fallen evil god who wants to bring an end to this world.  Sister is right.  We should withdraw.”

Mister devil stops right before the bridge and pulls out a sword that reminds me a lot of Tormentor.  Bigger though.  More like a claymore, though it's still wielded with one hand.

“Come, children of the mandate.  It has been eons since I have had a proper challenge.”  Wow that’s a vile looking smile.  “Imagine the treasures that I must be guarding.  Prove your courage.  Prove your worth.”

Fuck!  No one’s ever reported this place, according to Mila and Foxy.  Meaning no one has survived this prick before.  What if…  Yeah, what if the 41st floor is more like a basement and over there is the real “bottom” of this hole.

God dammit!  I lose and we’re dead.  Some may die even if I win.  I leave?  And my son may be dead.  Can I risk it?  These girls are supporting me.  Those kids are relying on me.

Shit shit shit shit…

What do I do!?!

A squeeze on my arm brings me back from the war within.  Turn to see Hitomi looking up at me.  Her eyes are understanding.  Her smile is gentle.

“Jon-kun.  Are you here for me?”

“W-what?”

“Are you here for them?”

“Hitomi…”

“Are you here for you?”

“N-no…”

“Then, who are you here for?”

…

Wow.

Lean over and give my super smart and wise japanese high school girl a deep wet kiss.

“Thank you, I needed that.”  Turn to a confused, and now jealous, Frankie.  “Sorry, leave if you want too.  But I need to cross this bridge.”  Face Hitomi again.  “You with me?”

Holy shit that is a beautiful smile.

“Fight beside my kare against an impossible foe in an unwinnable battle?  Couldn’t drag me away."

What a cool girlfriend. 

“This is going to take crackerjack timing, Hitomi.”

“Total concentration.  You ready Jon?”

Ohmygodsheknowstheline!

“I was born ready.”

Turn to mister not wearing prada and pull out my own super swords.  No, not that one.  Keep it together people!

Start walking and as soon as my feet touch the bridge, the devil’s smile darkens and his aura flares.

"Ooph."

So, much, pressure.  Is this what it feels like when others face me?

Feels like he’s trying to dominate me.  Suppress my abilities.  Choke off my mana.  Like I'm sitting under a waterfall.  Take a quick glance and see the kids and harem already on their knees or flat on the ground.

Hitomi is sweating, a lot, but she’s keeping up.  Looks like I’ll need to take the lead.  

Since discovering excited maid’s sensitivity to the auras of "heroes."  I’ve used her to improve my ability to condense my spirit.  Used to keeping my astral body small and hard at this point.  Like a solid steel ball.

Yeah, tons of water are crashing down on me. But I'm a boulder, bitch.  You ain't bothering these balls.

“Try shrinking your aura.  Like you did before.  Make it tighter. Harder.”  Hitomi nods.  “It seems to help.”

Can see the effort on her tense face but it gradually relaxes.  She leans against me and whispers, "thank you."

"Impressive.  Maybe you will entertain me."

Sure. Check my ticket.

Launch myself at his left while Hitomi zips to his right.

"[Umbrarmatus]"

Ink flows across my clothes and skin. Hardening while I open the tap on my magic nitro.  Flames and lightning race up my swords as I aim high and low.

JK girl's short swords smoke as she charges them and her feet seem to slide along the ground like skates. Unlike me she aims at the middle, front and back.

Shinobi girl is already wearing some very light but very strong magic alloy chain mail under her clothes.

*ting* *ching* *vring*

"Augh!"

Not-prada moves like a blur. His flaming claymore knocking away both of her strikes while using one move to intercept both of mine. At the same time he reaches out to grab ninja girl but screams in pain before he can get a good grip.  Letting her slip away.

"Necromancer?!"

Mister schlong did get too cocky.  Otherwise he would have noticed my shadow was unnaturally deeper and darker than everyone else's.  On bodyguard duty today?

Rowl.  An ancient knight captain that his mistress had turned into a living shadow.  When the church killed her.  She asked her champion to remain and serve me.

He is a living shadow, a hybrid form of undead. Most undead are material, like zombies, or astral, like ghosts.  Living shadows manifest materially and astrally.  They require a ton of mana to create so are quite rare. I've got plenty of juice though.

Creatures of ink and smoke.  They can live in, and travel between, shadows.  Any shadow.  Preferring to manifest only when they attack.  They are ambush predators.  Moving thru shade until the moment they strike.

And devily?  We'll, he just got bit.  In the dick.

Hey.  I told him to cover it up.  Not my fault he left it hanging to be targeted when Rowl leaped out of my shadow the moment we crossed swords.

My undead champion passed perfectly between horny's legs.  Using his short swords instead of long sword or great sword this time.  A blade master like Rowl had no trouble landing a dozen slashes and stabs in the moment he was flying through.

Sadly, mister weiner's weiner didn't get turned into schnitzel.  That heavy aura of his went a long way towards resisting those edges.  Still, he's now bleeding from a dozen cuts on his bratwurst and inner thighs.

Uh oh.  Uncle looks mad now.  But at least he's pulled in his aura some.  See the harem and kids getting back up.  Not-prada seems to only have eyes for me.

Sorry dude.  I'm straight.  Try to live on and love again.  You know, in the next few minutes before you fucking die.

"Abomination!  DIE!"

Something from his free hand spears towards me.  Looks like fire but also seems, solid?   Dodge to the left but it follows me.  Shit.  X my super swords to defend.

FUCK!

The lava lance, hits me like a ton of bricks.  Feel my arm bones cracking.  Sanctity and Tormentor, said super swords, shave off a chunk of it but the rest hits me head on.

*shmack*

…

Yeah, it hurts.  Catapulted my ass into a column a ways off too.  Feel a breeze where I really shouldn't.  Look down and…

Oh.  That's why.

There's a hole in me.  A big one.  Could probably fit my arm thru it.  Well that explains my breathing issue.  My right lung ain't all there anymore.

Bummer.

Interesting.  Though I'm in war machine mode.  Flooding my material body with mana from my astral body.  Magic nitro.  I'm not healing much.  Is it because everything's burned?

Shit.  Guess I have to do this the hard way.

"[Embrace of Hygieia]" "[Touch of Menerva]" "[Aceso's Spirit]" "[Gift of Hepius]"

Roll off spells from my [Recovery Magic] cheat.  See and feel the hole starting to close.  Breathing gets a bit easier.  What an awesome cheat.

"How dare you!"

*crackow*

Eh?

Look up to witness Frankie, well, glowing.  Can still see a trace of the lightning she just blasted not-prada with.

Looks like that devil’s taken a pounding.  See parts of him visibly burned, frozen, even a chunk of rock sticking out of his guts.  And one of his wings is completely gone.  He's collected quite a few more wounds.

How long was I out?

"Such amazing women."

It's not all going our way though.  Rowl is missing a lot of his body but still hacking away.  Hitomi struggling to climb out of the ruins of another column.  Oda looks down for the count.  But Sim is still firing.  Red, Val, her daughters, Blue, Mila, and even Foxy are all doing their best to kill this bastard.

Everyone looks bloodied though.  Tough son of a bitch.

As I struggle to my feet I notice several columns that were standing before?  Are now, well, not.  Couple more bridges are missing too.  Lili is standing beyond the bridge and is directing the reinforcements. 

Holy shit.  Did everyone come?  Woke up just in time to see my inquisitor and paladins wade in.  God mister schlong is fast.  His burning claymore moving so quick it leaves afterimages.  But there are many attacking him now.  And from every direction.  Even below.

It's his turn to be suppressed.

Feel him mustering mana.  Probably going to do that mana flare thing again.

Yeah, I don't think so.

~Hell.  It's about time.~

Stop using my lines first!

From the rubble of another column a large beast of ink and smoke explodes out and flies like a bullet at the devil.  See it's been through a hard fight already.  One of its wings is bent the wrong way and part of its left side is missing.

However, Frazur my Shadow Dragon is far from finished with this fight.  His target braces itself but is caught off guard when Frazer reaches out and grabs a passing column.

~Bark bark.~

*BOOM*

Grabbing the column anchors the fifty foot long undead dragon.  And since it's to his right?  His body swings around with incredible force.  Especially his tail.  Which whips into the devil and sends it flying.

My way.

"Smart-ass dragon."

Is what I mumble as not-prada comes soaring at me.

[Bullet time]

He's already twisting about.  Knows I'm here and from that shit eating grin?  Thinks I'll be easy pickings.  He might be right.  I'm not in the best of shape right now.  Need to do something unexpected.

I've popped the cheat that slows down the world around me.  Well, technically, I'm speeding up but you get the drift.

Now what would Jack Burton do?

Who?

Jack Burton, m-  No, there is no time, so let me sum up.

Wait!  Reflexes!  And I'm a swordmage.  Can supercharge stuff.  So what if I supercharge things that are already super?

Let's find out.

My mana ocean feels a hell of a lot shallower than before but I'm going to need every drop.

Dump nitro into my super swords until they feel like they are going to explode.  Then over hand throw both straight at flight two zero niner.

Still in [bullet time] so can see his eyes bulge, now only a couple dozen feet away.  That grin returns even faster though as he thinks he's won.  Thinks I’ve panicked.

Well, I did.  A little.

That damn quick claymore snakes out to knock away the burning and sparking blades flying at him.  Ready to skewer me right afterwards.

But?

See.  I'm a swordmage too.  And a very little known fact about that already very little known class?  Once they've supercharged something?  While that charge lasts?  They don't have to be touching it, to control it.

Now it's not a lot of control.  But, now, just ten feet away?  Plenty to nudge my super swords an inch or two.  And that means?

Mister I don't need to wear protection down there's fancy schmancy sword move?

Missed.

Sanctity, the holy super sword with the lightning aspect, enters the now looking mighty surprised devil’s mouth and proceeds down his throat.

Eating a divine snack cannot be good for an infernal being's digestion.  Especially if they swallow it without chewing first.

Less than a moment later.  Tormentor, the ancient demon blade with a fire aspect, pierces thru an intimidating armor plate and deep into the devil’s chest.

Punching thru something my [super senses] tells me is his mana stone.

Both super swords detonate at the same instant.  Not the blades themselves.  The mana I charged them up with.  Setting off lightning and fire bombs inside mister bet he sees the error of his ways now.

Well, probably not.  Why?  How do I say this?  As the explosion happening way too close to my face sends me flying off towards another column.  The devil comes with me.

Bits and pieces of him at least.  A finger?  Is that a kneecap?  Oh.  So that's what his testicals looked like.  One of them at least.  Why is this taking so long?  Ah.  [Bullet time] is still on.

As my trip to meet the neighbors, the Columns, no relation to the sparkly ones who like rainy weather, draws to a close and my likely second nap time approaches.

I find myself sincerely hoping no one else is dead. Besides those who are already regularly dead, of course.

"Hidyho neighbor."

*shmack*