---D-Day+112, Dherus 19th, Wednesday Afternoon---

---Jinshibo, Haremroom---

*wrap* *wrap* *tie*

"You know I can just heal myself, right?"

Red shakes her head firmly.

"Jon, how are we to know what that… dog did to you?"  Ties the bandage in another bow.  "There could be?  Uh…  Internal bleeding."  My forehead wrinkles.  "Or even poison.  We can't be too careful."

Sigh…

'Ain't foolin nobody, first wife.  You just want to mother me.'  Grin to myself.  'Well, what kind of man would I be?  If I didn't let my women pamper me.'

*schlurp* *schlop*

My second wife speaks up from my other side.

"Sister Alote, Sister Hitomi, don't drain him dry."  Breathes in my ear.  "Save some of his divine seed for the rest of us."

*schop*

A wet popping sound as Blue comes up for air.  Big old pouty look on her face.  Hitomi mumbles "itadakimasu" as she takes the opportunity to gobble me down.

"But Ushi…  Darling was amazing…  As his wife, it is my duty to reward him."  Her eyes drift back down to my privates.  "Oh…  Yummy."  And down she goes again.

Hear mumbling and grumbling as twelve other women vent their frustration.  Impatiently waiting for their turn.

*splurt*

'Ohh, fuck! It is so good to be the king!'

No, we're not still in the ship's clinic.  That would be unsanitary.  As soon as the harem saw I got bit?  Curse words were flying and my four wives half dragged half carried me back to the harem room in the mini-palace.  For immediate “first aid.”

You know?  They really are a lot stronger than they look.

And with my three concubines, six mistresses, three hornies in waiting, one mortified kitsune, two yanese royal sisters, the twins, kung fu queen, and lurch, following behind?

I'm a one man fucking parade again.

Along the way we even picked up lurch's disciples.  Another elf and a human.  Both also eunuchs.  And no, I did not use [Super Senses] to confirm.

So now I'm on a daybed couch on the other side of the giant bed's headboard.  Facing the aft windows.

Red’s on my right.  Tending to my horribly injured, internally bleeding, and possibly poisoned, finger.  Frankie's on my left.  Doing her best to steam clean my ear.  Blue and Hitomi are between my legs.  Thoroughly inspecting and washing my “equipment.”

Twelve other women surround us.  Fidgeting and anxiously waiting their turn.  Big Ji is on her knees behind me.  Massaging and hugging my neck and back.  While Little Li is with lurch, kung fu queen and the disciples.  Good band name.  Oohing and aahing over fox girl.

While chatting nonstop in yanese.  Fortunately, my trusty translator app, GoogleJi, is keeping up.

"Elder Baiyu is marveling over how Disciple Yamabe's dantian and meridians have been enhanced."  I did that?  "Elder Qinxin is laughing, disturbingly, over her spirit root.  Says you have turned it into… oh my."

Turn my head to look at Ji.  Earning a gripe from Frankie since it pulled her tongue out of my ear.

'Good God, woman.  You're going to give me swimmer's ear.'

"What?"

The older yanese sister is looking at me with very big eyes as the elders get louder.

"D-dashi?  Di-did you change Sayuri's sp-spirit root?"

Give her the spock eye.

"Yes…  Had too.  It's where the demon qi was coming from."

If possible, her eyes get even bigger.

"Really?"

'Uhoh.'

"Yes, was that a bad thing?"

Now Ji is getting fidgety.

"Um, um…  What did dashi do?"

Oh, like Little Li always calls me xingan?  Big Ji calls me dashi.  Means something like "master" in yanese.

"Used spirit fingers to knead out the yucky stuff until it was see through."  Squeezing motions.  "Like lube."

A mickey mouse like voice excitedly intrudes.

"Is that what you did?"

'Ugh.'

Lurch has swooped in and now stands just beyond the ring of ho's.  Looming over us like some desert vulture.  Can tell he wants to cut in but the looks he gets from my turf war ready girls?  Makes it clear he's gonna get cut if he tries.

Roll my eyes as Blue and JK girl scooch around to the outside of my legs and rest against them.  Looking up at me with dopey smiles.  Oda and Sim take their place.  Only saying ""bless you, sensei,"" in stereo, before starting.

"Yes, that's what I did.  Again, was it a bad thing?"

Baiyu about teleports in next to lurch.

"How difficult was it, junfei?  Could you do it again?"

Yep, they are ignoring me.

"It wasn't easy.  Her root split open, but I fixed it."

Baiyu and Qinxin face each other and start buzzing in yanese again.  Going so fast that GoogleJi is having a tough time keeping up.

"Umm…  Oh, Elder Qinxin knows you are a dual-cultivator, dashi."  Blush.  "He can smell your very, uh, potent yang qi in us."  She's going tomato.  "And our yin qi in you."

Would pat her on the head for comfort but both of my hands are trapped down Red and Frankie’s skirts at the moment.  Red's little baby bump is so cute.  So I have to settle for words and suggestive eyebrow lifts.

"It's okay Ji.  I like putting my qi in you."

Older sister turns bashful and whines.

"Dashi…"

A mickey mouse laugh.  And perturbed reply from kung fu queen.

"Oh my.  Elder Qinxin wonders how many women will abandon their, uh, dao companions to chase you.  Elder Baiyu disagrees.  Says women are not, uh, pigs like men."  A pause.  Then mumble.  "Elder Qinxin says becoming a eunuch has shown him that men and women are the same."  A quieter mumble.  "Women are just embarrassed by their lust.  So hide it deeper."

Look over and see lurch's words have hit home.  Superwoman, the twins, even kitsu, are blushing.  While the eunuchs smirk.

'Well, getting their dicks and balls ripped off probably gives them a unique point of view.'

After a few seconds, kung fu queen continues. 

"Elder Baiyu says dashi is dangerous.  Elder Qinxin agrees.  He is… counting on it?"  Eh?  "She requests to know what he is going to do."

Lurch pivots to me, grins, and continues in tourinese.

"I am going to teach him alchemy and he is going to complete my dao of alchemy.  Propelling me to immortality."

Superwoman is shocked.

"You… you can't be serious."

Lurch just smiles.

"I am.  Compared to that?  Giving your group some extra pills is nothing."  Spreads his condor wing like arms.  "Spent centuries preparing!  But cannot survive the third tribulation without comprehending my own dao."  Gestures to me.  "Behold, just observing his art was worth years of research."

Oh boy.

"Can we go back to the part about what I did to her astral root?"

Kareem Abdul-Jabelf nods.

"Of course, junfei.  Are you familiar with the five elements?"  I nod since I sort of am.  "Good.  How about the advanced elements?"  Nope.  "Then that will be a good place to start."

*ahem*

'Shit.  Please don't tell me mickey mouse is going to sing.'

*crack* *pop*

Hear lurch's back protest as he somehow stands even taller.  Holds out his hand and five balls appear above it.  Traveling in a circle.  It's an illusion.  But a pretty good one.

"These are the five actions."  The balls roll.  "Wood begets fire.  Fire begets earth. Earth begets metal.  Metal begets water.  Water begets wood.  Correct?"

Nod my head.

"Yeah, sure."

Yes, it sounds stupid to me too.  Metal begets water?  I don’t think so.  But if it works?  Then it's not really stupid.

"But there are also the five interactions."  Five smaller balls appear and orbit the larger ones.  "Wood overcomes earth with wind."  The smaller ball around wood zips across and runs into the earth ball.  Destroying it.  "Fire overcomes metal with lightning."  Zip, boom.  "Earth overcomes water with stone."  Woosh, crack.  "Metal overcomes wood with lava."  Vroom, crash.  "And water overcomes fire with ice." Zing, smash.

What's left looks like an asteroid belt out of a sci-fi movie.  The illusion fades away.

'Interesting teaching technique you got there, bub.'

"These ten elements are the most common types of natural qi in the world."  Another illusion forms.  A root.  "They are also the most common types of spiritual roots."  Extra roots grow out of the first.  Each with a different element.  "After thousands of years most beings have multiple roots.  Unfortunately, they conflict and once you reach four or five?"  The illusion turns into a twisty mess.  "Following the immortal way becomes almost impossible."

"So kitsu…"

Elfy is confused for a moment.

"Kitsu?"  Looks over.  "Oh, yes, Disciple Yamabe.  Over thousands of years her people have evolved demon roots.  Over time she could learn to suppress it and convert what's in her dantian to another type, like fire qi."  The root becomes black and oily.  "A very painful process but it would mask her demon qi."

"So what element is she now?"

Qinxin holds up his other hand.

"Patience apprentice."  Say what now?  "We're almost there."  Oda and Sim crawl onto the daybed to collapse, rubbing their swollen tummies.  Lili and Clari take their place.  "Normally the more roots you have, the more they conflict, and the less qi you can absorb."  Motions to the illusion. "Unless they are the same element.  In this instance, Disciple Yamabe had a triple demon root.  Quite rare among demonkin."  Floating root reacts.  "Increasing how fast and how much she absorbs qi.  But tainting it deeply as demon qi."

Oh my god…  Get to the point.

"Come on buddy, just tell me, what root element does she have now?"

A triumphant angular smile.

"None."

Can feel a migraine coming on.

“But didn’t you just say…”  Sigh.  “Fine.  Know the root’s still there.  Watched it working.”  Pray to the heavens for patience.  “What kind of root does she have now?”

“A triple void root.  Also called a null.”

‘What?’

“So what is a void root?”  See him about to speak.  “And don’t call me, apprentice.”

Lurch’s mouth snaps shut as he reconsiders.

“My apologies, junfei.  We are not to that point, yet.”

‘Jesus, get on with it!’

Apparently kung fu queen is fed up too because she chimes in.

“The natural state of qi is void.”  Elfy frowns at her.  “So a void single root can absorb better than a fire single root, fire-water double root, earth-metal-wood triple root, and so forth and so on.”  Crosses her arms.  “A triple void root?  Far superior.”

Kareem throws her a dirty look before continuing.

“Now arts and experiences stain meridians and dantians too.  So they can also change qi.”  Snickers.  “Xixi.  Though you also cleansed them.  So, at this moment, Disciple Yamabe is the purest daoist the world’s seen in thousands of years.  Perhaps ever.”

Elder Baiyu bows deeply to me.  Shocking the twins, princess, and even raising lurch’s eyebrows.

“Thank you, junfei.  Sayuri can now study the Tianyulong, uh, Celestial Jade Dragon, cultivation art and pass any elder’s interrogation.  Along with a shadow qi art to hide new tails?”  Smiley face.  “She can truly follow the immortal way.”

Oh, that reminds me.

“So how many elders are there?”

You know, in case I have to kill them all.

Baiyu looks at Little Li and nods.  The yanese princess is looking at me a bit strangely but still speaks.

“Xingan.”  Bows.  “While there are thousands of disciples?  There are less than fifty elders.”  Holds open her hands.  “The number fluctuates with deaths and departures.”

“Departures?”

My little china girl nods.

“Yes, xingan.  Most remain in the guild for life.  Exceptions are made for elders returning to guide their clans.”  A shy smile.  “Or disciples going back to their clan for marriage and… children.”

Lurch snorts dismissively.

“Some clans require members to become an elder in the Beyulongong.  Before they’ll even be considered a candidate to lead.”  Shakes his head.  “Swans happily living in pens and rutting with pigs.  Disgusting.”

‘Hmm…  You sound bitter.  Have some personal experience with that?’

Li continues.

“There are ten positions for core elders, xingan.  Twenty for inner elders.  And thirty for outer elders.”  Looks a bit uncomfortable.  “Also, uh, two grand elders may serve.”

‘Wait, wasn’t Uncle a grand elder?’

Baiyu chimes in.

“And no disciple may seek eldership until after surpassing the first tribulation.”

‘So elders will be at least in the Core Formation realm… wait.’

Point at the twins.

“Why aren’t they elders?”

Both tilt their heads at me in sync as lurch snickers and replies.

“Xixi.  Elders have great authority, junfei.  But many, many, responsibilities.”  Rubs his chin.  “The only reason I accepted becoming an elder was to lead the Alchemy Club.”  Looks to the heavens.  “All the other nonsense is quite annoying.”

Its kung fu queens turn to snort.

“Ha!  Don’t be fooled, junfei.  Elder Qinxin bribes his way out of every other duty.”  Crosses her arms and scowls.  “Not responsible for any department or branch.  Teaches no classes but alchemy.  Nor serves as aid to any other club or group.”

Lurch sniffs.

“Is it my fault the patriarch and grand elders agree my talents would be wasted elsewhere?  I think not.”

Baiyu squints at him.

“In fact, since we are now co conspirators…  Why are you here?  It must be decades since you last left sect grounds.”

Qinxin rolls his golden eyes.

“Already said I was here for a special shipment.”  Grins.  “Had to make sure it was worth the asking price.”

Kung fu queen glares at him.

“Well, is he?”

‘Wha?  Are they talking about me?’

The too tall elf nods.

“Dug for silver and found jade.”

Kitsu sneaks forward.  Still looking terribly embarrassed.

"Um…  Uh…  Core Elder Baiyu?  Ah, about that?"

Superwoman looks like she just remembered. 

"Yes, very good, Sayuri."  Wheels on me with arms crossed again.  "Well?  Disciple Barton?  Are you going to accept responsibility?"

Glare at her since my hands are still occupado.  Probably not for much longer though since both Frankie and Red are leaning against me.  Shaking and panting.

"I told you.  Not a disciple y- wait.  What you mean by responsibility?"

Kitsu's face flushes but Baiyu ignores it.

"For seducing my disciple.  Disciple Yamabe has marked you."  Points at the finger on death's door.  "She'll accept no other mate.

The absurdity of it all hits me.  Lili and Clari are about to coax another load out of me.  While a too tall castrated elf has declared me his apprentice.  And a cultivating feminist says I have to knock up her demon fox girl because she bit me.

All of this on a giant wooden ship sailing across the ocean of a fantasy world right out of some stoned amateur writer's webnovel.

'You know what?  Fuck it.'

Have Ji lay my fainted knight-wife down.

"Will I accept responsibility?"  Wink at the very nervous kitsune.  "Of course I will."

*yip*

Kitsu let's out some weird bark and actually leaps almost a dozen feet.  Landing next to me and immediately starts licking and sucking on the finger she bit earlier.

'Yeah, that bandage is already soaked with, uh, juices.'

You know?  I’m not going to worry about it.  Just going to let it roll.

But nineteen women?  Isn't that a bit much?  Fine.  I'll add knight chick, the dynamic duo, and kitsu.  But that's it!

Among all the licking, slurping, and suckling I hear kung fu queen's voice.

"So, uh, Xiao Li tells me you are a dual-cultivator?"

…

'Oh shit.'