Chapter 3

Breathing rises and heart rate quickens, as my fragile mind fights the powerful uncertainty. Raging thoughts running through my head all leading to a question I've yet to find an answer to, will we die? Panic and fear strikes my body from all directions, paralyzed I dare not to gaze as I certainly feel the presence of death standing right beside me. My body shakes in shockwaves as I watch my limp legs shudder, waiting for the answer to reveal itself.

[*&^*%^] 

Words which I can't comprehend haunts my ears as the ringing in my ears gets louder and thinner, every time they speak the time slows down and my world gets smaller. Deep inside I can feel it, a hand reaches down to my fragile heart and grasps it whole, my face drained of blood shows anguish.

[^££%^"] 

I clench my weak hands and feel cold sweat showering my body whole. I feel the presence of death getting stronger, its hand is now grasping my heart tighter. All for him I am doing this and yet the things which I try to hold slip right through my hand. Even now I'm relying on Uncle Chu to get information on Rudy's whereabouts while I'm standing right beside him not doing a thing, am I really this worthless?

[$%"£"$&$%£(!(£!"(%!%££$%^(($$)££"£"£"%] 

My eyes open wide as I notice a change in my surroundings. One of the shadows suddenly shifts in size and I realize what it means. With its every step closing in on me, my heart is grabbed tighter. Fear which I for long have felt for rushes through my body like never before. The shadow gets bigger and bigger after what seems an eternity it stops in its tracks covering my figure entirely. 

[£%*"£"!£] 

I close my eyes shut and the memories flood. All of the times I've witnessed them hurting somebody are now resurfacing in flashbacks. That shadow belongs to the reason behind my suffering, Rudy and everybody else in some way or another got hurt by them.  

[*$Q"£$] 

Death's fingers tickling my heart for all of this time now finally crushes it. All emotions come loose, snot and tears come running down my face. I do understand and I have the answer to all of it. I knew that we won't die and It’s all going to be fine and yet...I can't help but count my seconds feeling as I'll die at any giving moment. Those scars will never heal. All of that oppression and the times I got burned myself, those memories are here to stay. 

After moments of silence a firm hand is placed on my shoulder, my body shudders, finding little courage left I look up. The person standing right in front of me is surely enough a solider. My time stops and the world narrows down to a single image. Those eyes will never leave my memories again.

[What's the matter?] 

My vision becomes blurry and unreliable, soon enough I'm deprived of my footing and I lose myself in my nightmare witch shows up yet again to curse me. 

[What did we do wrong?!] 

My body floating and my sanity slippering, I'm left alone inside a dark world witnessing my deepest horrors. Again and again I see them recurring with no end. This always gets me- 

[No! Please let us live!] 

Bullets are shot and a terrific sound follows, two bodies falling onto the ground. Two blood puddles are flowing out and soon enough they join into one. Pleading for help they whisper, struggling to survive they utter, mercy. Soon enough all comes to an end as their final breaths end with curses thrown out to the entire world. 

He did not gift a quick death. Both have to suffer and experience a horrific slow death as they whimp for their dearest lives. It was fun for him, gaggling and laughing at life and death as he take the lifes however he wants. Nobody is going to judge him as the dead do not live to speak tales, it is a secret only to him or at least that’s how it is from his perspective. 

A murderous eye is gazing at the remaining one through a single crack in the seemingly empty closet. Holding his hand behind his back and the other one prepared to open the closet’s doors, the child waits for the right opportunity to come. 

He does not know of the one residing in the hideout and takes all he sees destroying everything which he does not see as worthy. Quickly the room becomes tarnished and once a clean room has now become a bloody mess. He continues to rampage but for one moment he stops and gazes at the single object left to hung on the bloodied wall. He picks it up and stares at it as though he's being reminiscent of his past. 

The opportunity is finally here and at fast speed he closes distance. The man in shock turns around and is attacked by a sudden sharp pain. He looks down to see his stomach being pierced by a single glass shard, he falls and screams but the hunter quickly silences him with a pierce to his throat, chocking he does as he struggles the same way like they did. 

His rapid breathing and jolting hands swiftly stabs the man following one quick prickle after another his hands now of a murderer are tainted with a sin. He does not stop and shows two contradicting expressions. A crooked smile and eyes full of tears.

He laughs only to himself and after moments of tearing muscles and gushing blood he leaves the still warm body. He looks at his bloodied hands and lets out a full on cackle. He laughs at his fate a detestable one indeed.

That crooked face reminds me of someone. Yes, indeed that is me who was born on that damned night. I fight with this me everyday, everything that reminds me of this me I try to escape. I'm scared of it at every single moment I'm reminded of him. A different Izerk I don’t want to show ever again. 

The only reason why I'm kept away from it are my deceased parents. Their wish was for me to be kind and different from the rest. To love because only the unloved hate. Be kind because only then others will. Those ideals after their passing have been slipping away ever since this night.

I have experienced living on my own and what it truly means to live by myself. I've seen the dark and the darkest and that has slowly been molding me to the standards, I despise it.

Maybe only because of my parents that I wish to save Rudy but, even if its not genuine I will do it since I hate the other me so much. I'll do things which are the opposite of him. I do not want to become it, a monster.

None will know of the monster living inside me and I swear I will bring it to my grave.