Chapter 22: A Glimpse of the Past
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“Did you bring what I requested?” my teacher asked as Alex, Sylvia and I arrived at the dimly lit table she was standing by.

“Excuse me.” The vampire said, reaching under Sylvia’s wheelchair to retrieve the cylinder we hid in there. “Hope it’s sufficient. It wasn’t easy to smuggle that one out.”

“Yes, this should be plenty,” Belaury eagerly received and examined the hard plastic container. She then twisted the lid open, staring at the contents briefly before pulling one of the tiny crystals out and popping it in her mouth. A smile drew on her face as she put the lid back in place. “Yes, this is the good stuff. I can’t remember the last time I used sea salt to season our meals. Or any type of salt, for that matter. I like the jar’s material. Durable.”

It was already my fourth day as her apprentice. We had brought some snacks to enjoy while she gave her lesson the previous night, and when she tasted them, she made it very clear how much she missed the condiment. When Alex offered to get her some, she was delighted.

“Does that mean I get to be more than a listener now?” he asked, hopeful.

Belaury placed the container on the table and lit up an oil lamp. She then turned to look at him with a toothy grin. “No, but I appreciate the effort, Ruby Eyes.”

Alex frowned and crossed his arms in response.

I gave my teacher a pleading look, to which she rolled her eyes. “Fine. You’ll get some attention for one class, but not tonight. And only once Nora doesn’t require it. Deal?”

“Fair enough,” he replied, shrugging. “Why the mud buckets?”

“I said not tonight, leech! Tonight you’re still a listener.”

He snorted, but otherwise stayed quiet.

I smirked at him and parroted the question.

She chuckled and took a seat. “Well, it has to do with what we discussed at the end of yesterday’s class. You asked me why water magic can’t manipulate liquids in general. Do you remember the answer?”

That was, in fact, another question Alex made. He was interested in the possibility of using water magic to ‘manipulate the blood of his enemies’. Just like today, however, she refused to respond to him; only giving us an answer when I asked for him. She seemed to enjoy teasing the poor guy.

I nodded. “You said it was the same reason we can’t drink oil and expect it to quench our thirst. It has to do with its composition.”

“Good,” she said, smiling. “Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Water normally has other stuff in it. Minerals, for example. What do you think happens to those when we manipulate it?”

I thought for a moment. “If we can only move water, does that mean those are left behind?”

“To answer that, I had Vik bring these.”

She stood up and dragged the three wooden buckets from under the table for us to see. Taking a closer look at them, they all had muddy water, but its concentration was different from each other.

“Here’s your practical task for today,” Belaury said, standing next to the buckets. “You’re going to close your eyes and draw the same amount of water from each bucket. You’ll go from left to right. Each time you do, you’re going to open your eyes, look at what you gathered and drop it before you go to the next one. Understood?”

“Yes!”

She took a seat and crossed her arms. “You may start.”

I walked to the first bucket and looked at it. It was mostly brown water. Kneeling, I closed my eyes and stretched my arm so my hand hovered over the liquid. I let the mana flow and began pulling the water out until I felt a sphere the size of an egg floating over my open palm. I opened my eyes and stared at it. To my surprise, the ball wasn’t crystalline. The dirt had been dragged along with it.

The mud in the second bucket was thick, like a creamy soup. I repeated the same steps with this one, but lifting this water felt different. It was heavy; draining more mana. I could pull it, but it wasn’t as easy as the first one. I opened my eyes and moved next to the third bucket. This final container was more dirt than water. I almost felt tempted to grab the mud with my hand and shape the ball manually. Of course, I didn’t dare touch it.

Ever since I was little, I hated getting dirty. There was one time in elementary when they took us to the school’s ranch for our agricultural classes. It had rained heavily the day before, and all of my classmates decided to play tug of war over a large mud puddle when recess came. I, of course, made myself scarce. Mary hadn’t transferred to our school yet, so there was no one to convince me to play and get dirty with them.

I loved watching my mother’s face as she saw the first kids come out to greet their parents in their full mud attires at the end of class. It reflected pure horror. Her relieved expression and the double take some of the other parents did when I stepped out were just as amusing. That was probably the only time she was thankful about me being the outcast of my class.

“Nora, focus!”

Belaury’s voice snapped me out of the memory. I shook my head before focusing on the task in front of me. I closed my eyes and repeated the process one last time. As expected, the mana drain was even stronger. I couldn’t even lift the sphere before I reached my limit. Opening my eyes revealed a large bump in the middle of the bucket. There was some dirty water on the surface, showing I managed to pull some of it out of the mix. That was all I could accomplish after all the effort.

My teacher approached and patted my shoulder, kneeling next to me. “Well? What is your conclusion?”

I looked up and replied, “We can only manipulate water, but anything mixed with it gets carried as well. Hard or muddy water needs more effort and mana.”

She smirked and placed her hand above the bump I made. After a few seconds, a small sphere of pure crystalline water floated over her open palm. The ball kept floating all the way to her mouth, and she drank it. She took another one from the same mud and offered it to me. The sphere was positioned right in front of my mouth, but I kept my lips tight.

“It’s safe, I promise.”

With a sigh, I gave in and took it. It was tasteless. Tap or bottled water had some kind of flavour. You could even tell between the two. This, however, had nothing. I stared at her, seeking an answer.

“Don’t worry,” she said in reply. “You did well. Your theory is correct, actually. In its simplest form, water magic will carry over any impurities present in it.”

“Then how?”

“That, my apprentice, is what I’m here to teach.”

With that, the practical lesson ended, and the theory began. Most of what she explained after that was how magic interacted with each element.

Water magic works exclusively with that substance. It can carry anything present in it, so, in theory, one could use lemonade as a weapon. Of course, it would be more taxing to do such a thing, just like it was when I tried lifting the muddy water. Mixes with too many components are near impossible to control in that state, which is why I had so much trouble lifting the mud from the last bucket. Blood manipulation, much to Alex’s disappointment, was quickly shut down.

When I insisted on asking how she got the water from the third bucket with such ease, Belaury simply claimed to have distilled the water to get it out. She had evaporated the water and cooled it down in mere seconds. According to her, it took her years of practice, but she was positive that I could master it faster because of my blessing. All I needed was to learn how to heat things up.

Air magic is similar to water. Although, rather than a substance, it manipulates two chemical elements at once, Nitrogen and Oxygen. Like water, every other gas or particle present will be dragged along with them, increasing the mana required to manipulate them. This led me to question the use of the word “element” for things like air or water when they knew about chemistry, but she said that they were two different words in Geilspraen. She couldn’t remember what they were, but she was sure it was only an issue with translation that ended with both things being called “element”. Apparently, the word “race” had the same problem.

Earth magic is slightly different to the other two. To begin with, it has a wider range. From soil to metal, they can all be manipulated to an extent. Oddly enough, the more components it has, the easier it is to manipulate, even if some of it is organic matter. It’s when dealing with pure substances that this magic becomes difficult to control.

Lastly, all energy related elements share a similar methodology between them. All that is needed is to understand how they work and apply their principles when manipulating mana. With each element, came a demonstration, and she even shot a fireball into the lake as a sneak peek of what I could do in the future, once I got the hang of the basics. Although, my ice magic already belonged to the second tier, just like fire did.

---<>----------<>----------<>---

The way back home was just like usual. Alex would give me his review of what he saw in a strange combination of excitement and disappointment. This time, it was more of the former, considering the promise Belaury made. Sylvia, on the other hand, would remain silent the whole time. Always deep in thought. She didn’t seem troubled, so I didn’t bother her. Despite not wanting to use it herself, she showed a clear interest in Belaury’s magic lessons. Perhaps it was the new information that kept her in that state.

Walking closer to the building, we spotted Anna, Allison and Rex sitting on their usual seats on the terrace. They would usually wait for us there; chatting over dinner and a cup of tea or coffee after that. This time, however, there was someone else sitting with them. She was human, with curly brown hair, almond skin and slender frame. I couldn’t discern the colour of her blazer because of the warm lighting, but it was either a very dark blue or black. She wore that over a cream blouse and wine coloured pants. She appeared to be in her mid-thirties. I was quite sure that this woman was the counsellor that was supposed to arrive earlier in the morning. I couldn’t think of another possibility.

Noticing our arrival, Anna waved at us, informing the rest of our presence. The woman scanned each of us; her gaze lasting slightly longer on me. Once we were close, she stood up and walked down the short staircase to greet us with a big smile.

“Hello there! You must be Alex, Nora and Sylvia. My name is Lucina Turiz, but you can call me Lucy. I was hired to be this facility’s counsellor. It’s nice to finally meet you, and I look forward to working with all of you!”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” said Alex with a slight bow, “but I’m afraid you’ll have to count me out of that. I’m quite satisfied with my current level of madness.” He walked past her and sat next to Rex.

“No worries!” Lucy replied, following him with her head as he moved. Her smile was unwavering. “The offer still stands if you ever change your mind.” She then looked back at us. “Though, I hope you two are not against it. I prefer it when it’s voluntary, but the doctor says the sessions are compulsory for you, Lily and Connor. When he wakes up, of course.”

Sylvia nodded. “I’ll be in your care.”

“That’s great to hear! What about you, Nora?”

“I mean, I don’t mind it, but why me?”

“Right,” she said, taking out a small tablet from the inner pocket of her blazer. “In your case, it’s mostly to study the effects of your age regression. Your file also includes a few notes that I would like to address in private.”

I frowned briefly, wondering what those were. “When will it be?” I asked, hoping it didn’t affect my flight training or my lessons with Belaury.

“We can schedule your weekly sessions however you see fit. Other than that, you can visit my office whenever you want. I’ll be happy to receive you as long as I’m not sleeping or in session with someone else. I will post a schedule next to my door for anyone who’s interested.”

I sighed in relief. “Yeah, I’m fine with that.”

“Excellent! All that’s left is choosing the date for your weekly sessions. Lily already chose every Antal at ten. Would you two prefer to have them around this hour? From what I understand you prefer the night.”

“Sure,” Sylvia replied. “As long as it’s not today.”

Lucy chuckled a bit. “I understand. What about tomorrow, like Lily? That would be Antals at twenty-one.”

Sylvia nodded. “That’s fine for me.”

“Very well. Nora?”

I hummed as I thought about it.

Having them after training or a lesson sounds exhausting.

There’s no way I’m waking up earlier in the morning, though.

Weekends then?

My family didn’t come this time because of Mom’s work, but that won’t happen often.

They’ll need to go back home on the second day, though.

Considering the distance, they’ll probably leave as soon as it gets dark.

I made my decision. “Alvtals at twenty-two, I guess.”

“Cool,” she replied as she set the date on her tablet. “Does that mean you want to start now?”

“Oh, uh.”

“Don’t worry. It’s fine if you don’t want to.”

Ugh, that smile.

It made me feel guilty just thinking about refusing. “Um. Maybe after dinner?” They had it earlier, but we didn’t eat anything during Belaury’s lesson. “I’m a bit hungry.”

She nodded. “No problem! I’ll be in my office. It’s on the second floor, right next to the stairs.”

---<>----------<>----------<>---

After dinner, I went up and looked at the plate outside the room. Confirming this was the place, I knocked on the door.

“Come on in~!”

With her permission, I opened the door and entered Lucy’s office. The room was the same as the rest, although the layout was quite different. A deep blue curtain divided the place in two sections. The first, which was not visible to me, was probably her actual bedroom. The bigger section was her office. Unlike my own room, the walls here were painted with the same blue as the curtain. One of the walls had a desk with a tiny bookshelf. A few books were already in place. The opposite side had a small potted plant. There were two small green cushioned chairs forming a right angle between each other, and a round coffee table next to them. It had two glasses and a pitcher with water placed on top of it. Each wall had a picture with different natural scenes. A forest, a beach, and a lake with mountains behind it. A generic black clock also hung from one of the walls. Lucy had already taken a seat and had her tablet in hand.

“Hello, Nora. Would you like to take a seat?”

I nodded and climbed on the chair. It was probably very comfortable for humans, but they were clearly not designed for winged people. It took me a while to find the proper position to sit.

“I, uh… I guess I didn’t take that into consideration,” she commented, noticing the slight inconvenience. She was already standing when she asked, “Would you like to use the bed instead?”

“It’s fine,” I replied. “I’m just not used to this kind of chair.”

She nodded and got back to her seat. “Let me know if you change your mind. It’s important that you feel comfortable.”

“It’s good, I swear.”

“If you say so. Before we begin, do you have any concerns? Something that keeps you up at night?”

“You mean, besides me being somewhat crepuscular?” I smirked. That was the term Dr. Blake used when referring to my new sleeping pattern. He said ‘somewhat’ because I became active in the afternoon instead of the twilight.

She giggled. “Yes, besides that.”

Huh. I didn’t expect her to know the term. I never heard it before Dr. Blake called me that.

I thought for a moment about her question. There was, indeed, something. I cleared my throat before answering, “Well, I’m kinda scared of what people might do to me when the secrecy is over.”

“Because you’re a demon,” she added. I flinched slightly when she did. “Do you hate being one, or is it just the name that bothers you?”

“It’s the name, but only when others use it.”

“Do you think of it as some kind of label? That they’re defining you for what you are instead of who you are?”

I nodded in silence.

“I see. If you could go back to being human, would you do it?”

That was a tough one. What would I choose if that was possible? The immediate answer was no, but the more I thought about it, the more conflicted I felt. I was used to my body, frighteningly so. I was aware that the virus was somewhat responsible for it, so the question was: How much influence did it have over me? If someone asked me two months ago if I wanted to become this, what would my answer be? Probably not. And yet, could I really throw away the excitement of flight? What about magic?

“Lily wouldn’t be alive without it.”

I gasped and looked at Lucy. “What did you say?”

“I asked you if you would like to be human again.”

I shook my head. “N-not that. What you said after. That about Lily.”

She blinked rapidly. “I didn’t say anything about Lily.”

My heart raced. I looked around the room, searching for the origin of the voice. Lucy was the only one. We were alone.

She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Nora? Are you okay?”

I snapped out of it. “Yeah, I’m-I mean, I don’t know.”

“Did something happen? You were fine just a moment ago.”

“I uh, a-a week ago, I saved Lily from a hawk. I-I froze the thing with magic. It-it was the first time I’ve ever used it. I was thinking about what you said. I asked myself if I could give up on magic and go back to normal, a-a-and I heard someone say that Lily wouldn’t be alive without it. I thought it was you, but…”

“Has this happened before?”

I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn’t work, so I kept trying.

“It’s fine. Take your time.”

“Once, a few days ago,” I finally replied, getting a hold of myself. “It was similar. I was wondering if manipulating water was possible, and the voice said that I could. Am I going crazy?”

Does it have something to do with being blessed?

“Verbal hallucinations can be a sign of stress or anxiety,” she replied. “The anticipation of your own thoughts can often make them feel foreign in your mind. In other words, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are sick, although it’s something we shouldn’t ignore either way.” She hummed, staring at her notes. “It’s happened twice since your mutation, but never before that, correct?”

“Yeah. Does it give you an idea?”

“Well, this takes me to the notes I had on your file. It says that there were brief moments throughout your stay here where you weren’t acting like yourself. The most relevant was an act of aggression towards Lily’s father. Those moments seem to be linked to either lack of judgement caused by your regression or instinctive behaviour from being a demon, depending on the situation. Do you have a full recollection of those events? Or rather, have you experienced any sort of memory loss after you became a demon?”

“No, I remember everything. Why?”

“There are some cases of dissociative identity disorder where the patient is able to interact with their alters. Adults can’t develop DID, not normally, but you went back into being a child. Your biological age happens to be within the upper limit of the acknowledged range, too. If we consider what you just told me, it’s a possibility. That said, this disorder is generated through severe trauma, and I don’t see that in you. Do you disagree?”

“No,” I replied. “The process was painful, I am scared of the future, and I’m worried about my current state, but I wouldn’t say that my experience is or has been traumatic.”

“Why don’t you tell me about your family? How were things before the change?”

“Uhm, my mom is a seamstress. She does freelancing most of the time, but big brands occasionally hire her as a designer. Many of my clothes were also made by her.”

“Sounds like a busy job. Did she have time to interact with you and your brother?”

“Did she?” I asked, laughing. “We have always been her priority. Perhaps to a point where it’s no longer positive. If you look for the word ‘overprotective’ in a dictionary, you might find her picture. She goes out frequently to deal with her clients, but works at home most of the time, so she gets to spend a lot of time with Allen and me. Oh, Allen is my brother. He’s younger than me by three years, although the roles were kinda reversed after my transformation. He rarely takes things seriously and often finds a way to annoy me.”

“What do you mean when you say the roles were reversed?”

“Well, calling myself the older sibling doesn’t seem that fitting anymore, don’t you think?”

“Hmm. Are you okay with that arrangement?”

“I didn’t welcome it with open arms, if that’s what you’re asking. In fact, I was opposed to it at first. Having said that, after some reflection, it’s not important to me anymore. I don’t really mind.”

“I see,” she said, taking notes. “I’d like to revisit this topic in the future, but if you are happy with that decision, that’s all that matters. What about your father?”

“My dad is a 3D artist. His specialty is horror games, but my best friend Mary somehow convinced him to model a bunch of fairies and other cute fantasy creatures once. One of his co-workers saw them, and now he gets requests for many fantasy games, too. He has a talent for really creepy or super cute stuff. Anything else is a bit meh. Don’t take me wrong; they still look good and all, but you can tell it’s not his thing.”

“That sounds like a fun job, although I have to admit that I’m not very good with horror themes. Did he show you some of his work when you were little?”

“He did. He didn’t see any harm in it. Not gonna lie, I did have a few nightmares. That often earned him a smack from mom, but he always made sure that I could differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t. I was more afraid of my classmates than of a monster hiding under my bed back then.”

“Were you bullied as a child?”

I chuckled, thinking I was technically still a child. I dismissed those thoughts, knowing what she meant. “No. I was just super shy. They would often invite me to play with them, but I never accepted. Eventually, they learned to ignore me. My mom tried to fix my attitude many times, but she wasn’t very successful. It all changed when Mary showed up, though.”

“How did she change things?”

“We met in third grade. She lived in Fesselk City before her family was transferred to Eredel because of her father’s job. She was quite an energetic child. Still is. I don’t know what got her so obsessed with me from the beginning, but she simply wouldn’t leave me alone, no matter how much I tried. Not even the teachers were able to do anything about it. She would often drag me from my corner and force me to play with the other kids. By the end of the school year, I was completely out of my shell.”

“She sounds like a pushy girl.”

“I prefer the term ‘Natural Disaster’.”

This got me another giggle from her.

“ I’m grateful for what she did, though. I needed it.”

Lucy nodded. “Well, I guess you’re right. There’s no reason to believe that you may have developed DID. There is something similar that we can’t discard yet, though. Have you ever heard of a Tulpa before?”

“Yeah. They’re like imaginary friends with individual thoughts, right? I’ve read a couple of articles about people trying to create their own, though I never thought of them as real. Are you suggesting I have one of those?”

“Sort of. Their existence has been a topic of debate for many decades. Alters are one thing, but is it really possible for someone to create a completely separate entity in their minds? To be honest, I didn’t think so. That was until a month ago. I had just woken up from my own process whe-”

“Huh?” My eyes widened at the revelation. “You’re a metahuman?”

“Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention it. Silly me.” She lightly bumped her head with a fist. “As I was saying, I was still back at Sizoa’s MAV Research Centre when I saw actual proof of it. There was one guy, Cody, who got infected a couple of days after I did. He also became a metahuman, but there was something else, or rather someone. Just as he woke up, a ghost suddenly came out of his body. Cody acted like nothing was out of place at first. It was as if this ghost, a woman named Alice, was a normal presence for him. Both of them were quite surprised when they realised that everyone could hear and see Alice.

“They later explained that Cody was a tulpamancer, and that she was the tulpa he created. Alice’s own transformation not only confirmed that tulpa were real, but it also suggested that souls may be real as well.

“That’s a topic for another day, though. It’s too early to say, but I think there’s a tiny chance that you subconsciously created your own Tulpa, and that’s the voice you hear. While this is not something I usually suggest, I’d recommend that you try to speak with it when you go to bed. Who knows, maybe you’ll get an answer. If you do, I doubt yours will get its own body now, but we’ll have an explanation to that phenomenon you’re experiencing.”

“I… I guess I can try. It would be kinda cool if it is. As long as the horror stories involving them aren’t real.”

“I’ve never heard of such cases, so I wouldn’t worry about it.” Lucy looked at the clock as she said this. “We still have a few minutes left, but why don’t we stop the session here for today? While I still have plenty of questions for you, I’d like to give you time to work on this matter and see how it goes. Sorry if I rambled for a while there. I usually have better control over myself.”

I smiled at her. “It’s fine, you did help me out. I’m gonna try what you said and see if I get this voice to respond.”

She nodded. “Like I said earlier, feel free to visit me at any point. You don’t need to wait the whole week.”

I nodded.

“Have a good night, Nora.”

“Good night.”

7