Adaaku sipped her chocolate milkshake letting the words of her superior go in one ear and out the other. It was probably something about her making decisions without speaking to him first but truthfully, she did not care about his opinion. Frankly, he was an atrocious agent and his celebrity had been languishing in obscurity for months. Why would she talk to him about her plans and have him become an obstruction?

However, she didn’t say anything to him about her thoughts. Regardless of his incompetence with the talents, John was good at sweet talking the higher ups and at presenting his failures as nicely as possible. It was a talent to be sure but not one she needed to excel.

“Are you listening to me?” He asked, probably noticing her inattention.

“Sure John,” She said glancing casually at him before turning her eyes away to preserve them. A white man in his thirties, John was dressed ridiculously - in a pastel suit with stripes. He probably thought he looked stylish and trendy but frankly it made him look washed out. Also wearing a four-piece suit in this rare British summer made him look like a dunce. Who was he impressing? Oh well she had better things to do anyway.

Adaaku let her eyes glance over the crowd milling about in the town centre. Summer was a good time for anyone who appreciated beauty. A gorgeous blonde man who knew how to rock a man bun without looking like he was risking hair loss walked past. Now that is an attractive man, she thought to herself. A brunette with long, long legs walked past and Adaaku couldn’t stop herself from following those legs as they walked past. What a pity that next to her was her boyfriend. Adaaku turned her eyes away quickly. Straight women and she were a no go, not even for fantasising. What a pity though, those legs were absolutely stunning.

As she turned her head back to John, hoping to cut his diatribe short with some nonsense placations, – seriously people were beginning to stare, you don’t cause a scene in front of a Starbucks – she saw an absolutely stylish woman walk towards them. Her dark skin glimmered in the sun as her magnificent afro shone unapologetically for everyone to see. She wasn’t much taller than Adaaku, but her aura of complete confidence seemed to add a few inches to her. She wore a simple black t-shirt which had some feminist motto on it with red jean shorts and then she topped (or bottomed) it all off with magnificent chunky black heeled boots.

A whisper of “fuck” slipped out of Adaaku’s mouth and John reacted indignantly, but Adaaku paid no attention to his reaction. Her entire attention was entirely on Joy, for that was the woman’s name. Adaaku knew her very well as Joy was her rival. Oh, both of them pretended to be nice to one another whenever they met, and they always rejected any comments or rumours calling them rivals. After all, they were both feminists and black women as well who firmly believed in bringing up women as a whole.

But the truth was that they were rivals and they both knew it. Adaaku liked to think of it as a feminist rivalry. It wasn’t like they were struggling with each other because of a man or something like that, they were simply trying to survive in a very difficult, dangerous circle. Didn’t Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie say competition between women was fine if it was for their careers?¹This is a reference to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Ted Talk “We should all be feminists”. It was featured in Beyoncé’s song Flawless. I encourage everyone to go watch it. It’s seriously great.

At least that was what Adaaku said to herself and maybe that was what Joy thought but Adaaku knew that her reasons for being rivals were not so professional.

“Ah, the world is a small place,” Joy said. Her black kohl lined lips turned up in a sly smirk, “I didn’t know I would see my dear Adaaku right in front of a Starbucks in Central London. And getting scolded none the less.”

“Uh, no one’s getting scolded,” John interjected. He was already in trouble with HR for shouting at one of his colleagues which was why he had spoken to Adaaku outside at the Starbucks across the company. “I’m just treating Adaaku to a cold drink and we were talking about work during that.”

For a second, Adaaku thought she saw disgust flash through Joy’s eyes, but she must have seen wrong because Joy immediately looked at her with eyebrows raised as if asking if this was the best she could do. Adaaku quickly shook her head, although she was bi, she did not find John attractive at all. His personality was really annoying. Joy smiled in a more genuine manner. Adaaku definitely did not linger on how beautiful her smile was and how it transformed her face or drew attention to her beautiful teeth. She definitely did not. Instead she turned to speak to John.

“You were treating me? Why didn’t I know this? If I had known, I wouldn’t have bought my milkshake for £3.99.”

“£3.99? What kind of milkshake is £3.99?”

“Don’t blame me. Blame capitalism,” Adaaku replied with a cheeky smile on her face, “It’s nice of you to treat me though. I’ve run out of change so cash would be nice.”

“I’ve only got £3 on me.”

“No pressure, that’s fine. Don’t worry about the 99p.”

John glared at her before digging into his pockets and giving her a £1 and £2 coin. Adaaku smiled as she put the coins into her own purse. John glanced up at Joy, said some pleasantries and quickly excused himself. Adaaku watched him walk away and noticed him dropping his empty cup on the ground.

“John, your cup fell down,” She shouted at him. He rushed back, picked his cup and disposed it in the recycling bin that wasn’t that far from him.

Lazy bastard, Adaaku thought.

“That dude is lazy AF,” Joy commented, and Adaaku turned to look at her. “What? Am I lying?”

“No. I was just surprised that you said what was in my head.”

“By the way, how much was the milkshake,” Joy said as she occupied the seat that John had just vacated.

“£1.99.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup,” Adaaku replied. There was a pause and then they both started laughing.

“Oh my god. Did you see his face when you asked him to pick up his cup?”

“Yes. What about when you appeared, and he was like ‘I’m just treating Adaaku to a cold drink’?”

“Definitely and what the hell is with that pastel four-piece suit. Like why? Why would anyone wear that in this hot weather?”

“I know. I thought that too. I was like who is this dude trying to impress. Pastel isn’t bad on him. But a pastel suit? With stripes? In this weather? He was sweating so much even his tie was dripping.”

They both laughed for a bit longer before it faded to silence as they realised that they had exhausted their conversation topic. Joy opened the Starbucks app to order a drink while Adaaku did the same and ordered some donuts. Silence reigned for a while more and Adaaku used her straw to turn her milkshake while Joy fiddled with her phone.

Suddenly, Joy put her phone down and cleared her throat at the same time that Adaaku had raised her drink to her lips. Both stopped seeing the other’s actions.

“I can drink this another time just say what is on your mind.”

“No no. You drink.”

“Seriously Joy. We both know that you didn’t come here to save me from my annoying colleague.”

“What if that is why I approached you? Why do you never see anything I do positively?”

“Are you serious?” Adaaku retorted with annoyance, “The last time I listened to you, it was about what Tasha liked and what happened? I lost her, the third place X factor winner, to you. It wasn’t as if you even wanted her anyway. You swiped her because you knew I wanted her as my celebrity.”

“Seriously, are you bringing that up? What about the time that you stole Juis’ backup dancers for her tour? I had to listen to her cry and whine for a whole month. I was even afraid that I would lose my job.”

“As if,” Adaaku scoffed, “I took those dancers six months before her tour. You had enough time to hire someone else and her tour went splendidly. And about you losing your job, how is that even possible? How could your company dare to fire the entertainment Midas? Everything you touch succeeds. Don’t try and guilt trip me with anything. This is simply business.”

“Really?” Joy asked with a soft tone. “Is it? We are not the only celebrity agents in this field, but I always feel like there is too much animosity between us for it to just be business. Seriously, Adaaku, why do you hate me so much?”

Adaaku had opened her mouth to respond when the waitress brought both of their orders. They both smiled at her and took their food before Adaaku stood up quickly.

“Lunch is over. I’m not as high up as you so I still have to go back. This has been interesting. Hopefully, we never do this again. See you around.” Saying this, she turned around intending to leave before being stopped by Joy’s contralto.

“You didn’t answer me. You’re going to have to one of these days.”

Adaaku looked to her right for a few seconds before tucking a strand of her weave-on behind her ear and walking away. There was no way she was ever talking about the reasons for their rivalry.

∞∞∞

As with anything, you could blame Tinder for it, Adaaku thought as she wore the size 16 dress that the Sizable boutique had sponsored her to wear for this A list event. It was a gorgeous black dress which accentuated her curves, with a slit to the side. She wore sheer tights with it and then looked at the low heels that she had persuaded the boutique to allow her to wear.

Usually, she would never be invited to these kinds of parties not to mention being sponsored to wear a dress, but Chance’s latest album had gone gold and this party was hosted by one of the legendary producers in the UK industry. So, it not only invited celebrities but also the people that propelled them to the top. Chance had gotten a certified gold album just in time for both of them to get an invite.

The dress was a stroke of luck. She’d been worried about what to wear when Sizable had contacted her. They were an up and coming plus size boutique and the owner was a Nigerian woman, so she’d noticed her. They’d been insistent on her wearing stilettos but while Adaaku enjoyed watching stilettos on a person, she was afraid of wearing shoes with thin high heels ever since she’d fallen and twisted her ankle while wearing one as a teen. So, they had both compromised and instead of her wearing the flats she’d wanted, she was wearing some gorgeous silver low heels.

Adaaku admired herself in the mirror. She looked nice and everything fit perfectly. Maybe someone would catch her eye, or she would catch theirs at this party. Lord knows, it had been a while since she’d broken up with Tim and Alicia.

She tried to shy away from it but now that she was on that train of thought she was thinking about the person that she was hoping would think she was attractive.

No, you hate each other. Besides, she’s with someone else.

And that was the part that hurt because the legendary producer, the one that was hosting this party, was Joy’s girlfriend. They were a lesbian power couple in the UK entertainment industry. Everyone knew about Joy and Love. They’d been together for almost five years and they seemed to be going strong. Everything they collaborated on was successful and they were both beautiful, powerful, independent women. Everyone wanted to be them and why would anyone leave such a union for her?

“It’s not like I want her to leave Love for me anyway,” Adaaku said out loud but a part of her whispered, You met her first anyway. “On Tinder,” She scoffed, “Who takes someone they see on Tinder seriously? Not me. Let’s stop thinking about this.”

Adaaku took another look of herself in the mirror before smiling. “Not gonna lie, I look good,” She said then booked an Uber, not to take her to the location of the party but a prearranged place to meet with her talent. IU, her company, had rented a limousine to drop her and Chance off. There was no way that she and Chance were going to arrive at such a party which had paparazzi and photographers in an Uber. Even though Ubers, buses and trains were how she and Chance got around London, it would ruin the image of eliteness they were presenting if the public knew that.

“I’m going to include this Uber fee as a work expense and get the money back,” Adaaku muttered to herself in the limousine, “I hope they don’t make me pay for the limo. Lord knows, they don’t pay me enough to live in London.”

Chance heard her muttering and smiled. “I hear the big boss say that they will cover the expenses. Also, they said that they’ll give me a company car so don’t worry, we won’t need to be using Ubers and public transport anymore."

Adaaku looked at Chance and smiled. She was a 21-year-old Caucasian woman with short pink hair. She had a low sultry voice which was very appealing to women but had not matched what IU had been looking for. Adaaku had picked her out off the reject pile and raised her to what she was now. Even though Adaaku had other talents, Chance was her main one and she was very protective of her and her image. So, no matter what people like John said, she would not let other people get involved in her career.

“When did the big boss say this and why wasn’t I there?” Adaaku asked gently but sharply.

“Oh, it wasn’t like it was a meeting or anything. His secretary just asked me to wait behind at the company and he just spoke with me for five minutes,” Chance said in a calm but hesitant tone. She immediately knew something was wrong and hoped that she wouldn’t be affected.

“I see,” Adaaku replied but inside her mind was whirling. She would need to speak to a few people to make sure that nothing like this happened again. “Oh well, good thing about the company car,” She acquiesced after a few minutes of awkward silence. But it’s not like I’m going to be able to use it, Adaaku thought, No one cares about the behind the scenes team.

“Are you angry?” Chance asked hesitantly.

“No of course not. Just some people did things in a wrong manner and I’m going to correct them. Don’t worry about it.” Adaaku said placatingly then looked out. “Oh, we’ve reached. Now remember what we talked about. Watch what you drink and what you say but still have fun.”

Chance nodded and adjusted her clothes while Adaaku came out of the limo, bent down to get Chance’s hands and helped her out of the car. They both smiled at the cameras in their faces, presenting an image of solidarity and friendship. Two beautiful women helping each other to overcome the problems of the world was a beautiful story to tell.

“Watch what you drink in there and don’t be too intimate with August. Remember we’re taking the slow approach in revealing your relationship,” Adaaku whispered in front of the door to the house.

“I know. I’ll be careful mum,” Chance replied and smiled.

“Mum,” Adaaku said in faux outrage, “At most you should call me big sis. I’m only five years older than you.” Chance looked at Adaaku’s face then chuckled in relief at the smile that appeared. “Alright run along now. Go enjoy the party with your real date but remember that I’ll be watching.”

Chance laughed again and then hurried on to meet with her boyfriend, a 20-year-old British Asian model who had been the talk of town in recent times. They were a good match for each other, and August didn’t have any scandals surrounding him, so Adaaku didn’t mind the relationship although she was already planning for the almost inevitable breakup. Celebrities and their relationships, she thought.

Adaaku shook her head and walked into the house no longer focusing on Chance. It was time to mingle and schmooze with the people who controlled the UK entertainment industry and she was a veritable social butterfly.

∞∞∞

Two hours later, Adaaku was ready to throw a drink at someone. It had been going well at first. She had talked to many influential people; she had even managed to convince one of the most famous directors to shoot a music video for one of her artists when Brad Bread (obviously not a real name) spilled his drink on her.

At first she thought it wouldn’t be a problem because she was wearing black and luckily the drink had a fruity smell so no one would notice the stench of alcohol but unfortunately, the drink was some kind of white sticky concoction and no matter how much she tried to wipe it clean it couldn’t get rid of the white splotch on her boob. She looked like a baby threw up on her. And worst of all he hadn’t apologised, only laughed at how ‘hilarious’ it had been. It was so patently unfunny that she was not surprised that his ‘career’ of being a comedian had crashed and burned. Unfortunately for her, he had somehow managed to turn that disgrace of a career into being one of the most influential people in showbiz.

“Fucking jerk,” Adaaku said out loud exhaling with anger. She looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom, her tears running down her face ruining her mascara. “Today was supposed to be a good day but the world just won’t let me live.”

Suddenly, she put her phone down and screamed in frustration, unzipping her dress and letting it fall to the floor before picking it up quickly. How am I going to fix this, she thought, I couldn’t even buy the fucking dress and now there’s a stain that can’t go away and I can’t wear anything, and this party is just beginning. I don’t have any money and fuck I just embarrassed myself out there and this circle is a fucking piranha. People will bite if they think you have weaknesses and I guess I’ve shown everyone mine. What was I thinking coming here anyway? That I was going to be the belle of the ball, charm everyone? I’m a fucking joke. I bet she saw me be this pathetic.

Before she could spiral deeper into self-loathing and despair, there was a knock at the bathroom door.

“Adaaku are you in there?” It was Joy. Adaaku did not respond to her query and there was silence for a while before Joy tried with a softer voice, “Let me in. I think I can help.”

“You can’t help. Nobody can help.”

“I most certainly can. I can do anything remember.”

“That’s just what people say,” Adaaku replied but opened the door.

“Shit you look like hell,” was the first thing Joy said when she walked into the bathroom. She was not kidding. Adaaku’s makeup had begun to run, the wig she was wearing had lost its shape probably due to Adaaku running her fingers through it, she was barefoot and her dress had fallen down her arms showing the basic brassiere Adaaku wore underneath it.

“That was so inspiring, thank you very much,” Adaaku said sniffling and wiping her face.

“No, I didn’t… Forget it. Show me the damage,” Joy said in the soft voice that had convinced Adaaku to open the door. Adaaku sighed and raised her dress to show Joy the stain on the breast area of her dress. “Let me guess, it’s a showcase dress?”

“Yes, it is,” Adaaku retorted, “Not everyone has the money or the girlfriend to get really nice clothes. Some of us have to depend on showcase dresses to have something nice to wear to occasions like this. And it is a big deal that a boutique decided to sponsor me when I’m not even a celebrity.”

“I am going to ignore that because you are upset but if you say something like that again, I’m out and you are on your own. I am actually here to help you, so you know work with me. Not everything between us has to be a fight.”

“If it wasn’t a fight, would you pay attention to me?” Adaaku mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, I was saying that I would tone it down.”

“Good. Besides, I don’t look down on showcase dresses. I’ve worn enough not to do so. And not everything about me is about Love. I can do things on my own.”

Adaaku nodded and made a noise of assent.

“Okay, first you need to redo your makeup and where are your shoes? And you need to brush your wig because girl I can see your scalp.”

“Are you managing me right now?” Adaaku said chuckling.

“Yes! I know we like to think of ourselves as superhuman forces of nature who move everything in our way for our celebrities but we’re human too. We deserve to have someone take of us.”

Adaaku looked at Joy in stunned wonder as the latter smiled and bent to look for her shoes. She was used to being the one taking care of others starting from her younger siblings to her friends and then her celebrity talents. Even in her relationship with Tim and Alicia, she had often been the diplomat in the relationship, and it had been a year since their breakup, so she was used to going it alone. It felt nice to have someone else take care of her.

“Let me take care of your make up. You looked stunning when you walked through the door and I don’t want you to look any less gorgeous.”

“What- I mean, you noticed?”

“Of course, I noticed. I’m sure everyone noticed. If there is anyone that was born to wear a little black dress, it’s you.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it little but thank you.” There was a pause then Adaaku continued, “You look nice too.”

And Joy did look nice. She was decked out in a silvery shimmery trouser suit that seemed to glimmer when the light hit it just the right way, with a delectable low cut blue shirt that gave everyone a glimpse at her cleavage and the sexiest stilettos Adaaku had ever seen. To top it off she wore an oversized silver jacket that should have ruined everything but made her look even more stunning. She was definitely more than just nice. Adaaku would never admit it but part of the reason why Brad was able to stain her was that she was distracted sneaking looks at Joy all evening. Her focus had been split between trying to make the best deals she could and ogling Joy.

“Thank you,” Joy replied. She reached up to adjust her afro then lightly coughed. “Okay, so makeup time. I know you’re all about lip gloss but let’s try some lipstick.”

“I don’t have any on me.”

“I do and if you don’t like the colour, I live here, and I can always get others. But I really think you’ll like it.” Saying this, Joy dug into her bag and whipped out some lipstick. She smiled at Adaaku before opening it and applying it to her lips.

Adaaku couldn’t focus on what was happening around her because suddenly Joy’s face was right in front of her. She took in everything about her: how she narrowed her eyes and bit her lips when focusing, her dark deep eyes swallowing you in till you never wanted to leave, her voluminous afro which Joy controlled with a generous amount of pins and her scent. How she smelled like soap and wood and lavender. It was exquisite. It was familiar. She’d probably smelt something similar on someone else before but on Joy the familiar became entrancing. Adaaku felt like she could stay on that bathroom floor forever breathing in Joy’s scent as she put her face close to hers and chattered about whatever she wanted. She had a flash of deep desire and want and was probably about to do something stupid when Joy started speaking.

“Finished,” She said and then glanced into Adaaku’s eyes. For a second, Adaaku envisioned that she saw a response to her desire in Joy’s eyes, but that moment passed, and Joy moved her head backwards to inspect her face. “Damn, I don’t like to praise myself, but I am good. And you are a surprisingly good subject. If you were a model, you would dominate the industry.”

“Haha very funny,” Adaaku said then got up to look at the mirror before stopping in shock. Joy was right. She was very good. Adaaku could barely recognise the woman in the mirror. She had thought that she was okay before but now, she could even be mistaken as a celebrity.

Brown lipstick surprisingly suited her, showing off her full lips and whatever Joy had rubbed on her face seemed to make her skin glow. The tear streaks were gone, and her mascara was perfect. In a couple of minutes, Joy had turned Adaaku into the woman she had always hoped appeared when she looked in the mirror. Put together, beautiful, independent and confident. It was too much.

“This is too much,” she said in shocked awe.

“I know right,” Joy replied grinning, “I couldn’t believe it myself. I didn’t realise but you have so many complimentary features. I never noticed before but-”

“-No one’s going to take me seriously,” Adaaku interrupted, “I mean I look stunning and different but people thinking I’m a celebrity is not going to help me get people to make favourable deals with me.”

“What does that even mean? I look great and I get good deals.”

“Yes, but you are you. You’re stunning and confident. If I go out like this people will think that I tried too hard and no one wants to be seen as desperate in showbiz. People are going to think that I have nothing to offer apart from my looks.”

“Relax,” Joy said and put her hand on Adaaku’s shoulders. “We’re in showbiz remember, beautiful people rule this industry. Besides, don’t sell yourself short. How can my rival have nothing else apart from looks?”

“Rival?”

“Yup. No one’s won over me as much as you have. No ordinary person could do that. I’m still smarting over losing the 02 arena to you.”

“Oh please. You didn’t smart for long. You promptly made Juis have a main spot at Coachella while Chance had to settle for being second to her. She whinged about that for forever.”

“See, rivals. Only you can best me and believe me the competition has been good for business. Now chin up, you look amazing.”

“Yeah. I guess so but the dress ruins it all. I’ve tried to reduce the splotch but it’s still pretty noticeable.”

“Oof. Yeah you’re going to need to take that to the drycleaner. Luckily for you, I know a really good one,” Joy said before rifling in her bag and giving Adaaku a business card.

“Thanks,” She said taking it but still looked down at her dress. It was good that she could fix it but currently, it looked horrible.

“Ah that. I can fix that. Here, wear my jacket,” Joy said then promptly began to strip off her clothes.

“W-what are you doing?” Adaaku said nonplussed and surprised. Joy’s actions made her cleavage more prominent and Adaaku couldn’t help glancing at her generous, voluptuous figure. If Joy had been alluring with her jacket on, she was entrancing when the oversized jacket was gone.

“Lending you my jacket. It’s a Sizable jacket and it’s the same colour as your shoes so I think it will look nice on you. Also, the boutique won’t complain that you are promoting someone else’s clothes.”

This titbit of information distracted Adaaku from the suggestive situation they were in, Sizable was exclusively a plus size boutique and while Joy had curves, she was also slim. Why would she have plus size clothing?

Joy must have noticed her questioning look because she suddenly looked sheepish. “I have a plus size model, Garcia, so I keep clothes they can wear at my house. I keep clothes that all my talents can wear at my house.” Although it was a convincing statement, Adaaku doubted that was the only reason as Joy had lost the air of confidence that often surrounded her.

She was curious but chose not to press on it because Joy suddenly had a sad look on her face. Adaaku took the jacket from Joy’s hand and got up from the floor before wearing it. While it looked oversized on Joy, the size 16 jacket fit her perfectly and more importantly, it covered up the splotch.

Adaaku looked at the mirror and admired the woman she saw there before looking to her side at Joy who was watching her approvingly.

“Thank you,” She said awkwardly, “Not just for fixing me up but for actually caring to look for me. And also… I’m sorry. I was being a bit of an asshole earlier, wasn’t I?”

“A little bit. But I won’t hold it against you. I’ll just take it as part of the Adaaku Eze experience.”

“I promise that experience will be more cordial from now on. Rivals don’t have to be enemies, right? And I know my mama brought me up with better manners than I have been showing.”

“Well, I look forward to that. I would like to talk to you more without you throwing in a jibe or two.”

“Talk to me more, definitely. I don’t know about the jibes though; I think I’ll keep a few of them in. Keep you on your toes.”

“Okay then. I always enjoy being teased by a beautiful woman.”

“B-beautiful woman? Flattery will get you nowhere with me, I’m not going to go easy on you,” was what Adaaku said on the outside to Joy but on the inside what she thought was: Oh my God. Is she flirting with me? She’s flirting with me. And I know it doesn’t mean much. I’ve heard she’s an outgoing person but she’s. flirting. with. me. And she thinks I’m beautiful. This day was hell but now it’s way way better.

Joy chuckled at her comments and Adaaku responded with a blinding smile before turning around and leaving the bathroom.

She drew many eyes and as she was a good agent, she used their attention to her benefit. If she dropped a comment in a few ears about Brad Bread’s drinking problem and how he was unable to control himself in front of the media, well no one could blame her. It was a cutthroat industry after all and people who couldn’t manage their public image might as well disappear. Influence and popularity could come as quickly as they left. And if anyone commented that her jacket looked suspiciously similar to Joy’s trousers, Adaaku only gave a mysterious smile. Some things were meant to be personal after all.

∞∞∞

Things between Adaaku and Joy got better after that day. They still got in each other’s way and Adaaku still tried to get better deals than Joy and vice versa but the loathing and disdain that had been present in every interaction disappeared.

Adaaku still made jokes about beating Joy in something or the other, but the maliciousness of these jokes was gone and there was a feeling of amity whenever they met. They would have both denied that they were friends, but many people now looked upon them as such.

Their relationship progressed from saying hello to each other whenever they met to chatting with each other to meeting up on purpose and having some drinks but Adaaku felt that there was a sense of distance – on both sides – about their relationship. It felt like a line had been drawn in the sand and both parties had agreed not only to not cross the line but to also ignore it.

This state of being friends and not friends continued on for a while until something broke it. It went like this:

Adaaku had been chatting with this very nice man, Alex, on bumble and had finally decided to meet up with him after stalking his social media and deciding he wasn’t a creep. He wasn’t a bad person and they both had things in common. They were both bi, liked similar games and the same movies so conversation flowed easily. He wasn’t bad to look at and he had amazing green eyes so sex with him wouldn’t be a problem, but she was quickly realising – and she felt that he was too – that there was no spark between them. She’d probably try for a second date, but she felt deep down that they would be better as friends.

She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but a huge part of the reason was that she wasn’t trying. There was someone else who she had been thinking about, and for a long time, but her friends had kicked her in the metaphorical guts and told her to stop lusting after a taken woman. So here she was trying to date again.

That was when Joy walked in. She was clearly upset as she went to the bartender, ordered a shot, downed it and then ordered some pints of beer which she took to a corner table. Adaaku had been aware of her from the very moment she had walked in. The table she was seating at had been facing the door to the pub, but she probably would have noticed Joy even without that. There was something electric in the air. From the very moment Joy had entered, she had stolen her focus. Her magnetic presence attracted her mind and attention. Adaaku could barely focus on what Alex was saying and the pleasant conversation she had been enjoying quickly became grating and incessant.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think we’ll work out,” Adaaku said after giving a filler word too many and growing alarmed at Joy’s continuous alcohol intake. “I like you, I do, but I don’t think I want to be anything more than friends with you.”

Alex looked at her for a second before slouching and exhaling in relief. “Oh, thank God. You’re perfectly lovely but I just got out of a bad breakup and my friends pushed me to go on this date with you to get out of my slump. I was actually surprised when you asked me out, I had thought that our chats had been quite platonic.”

“Yep. Friends pushed me too to take the next step. They mean well but sometimes…”

“They can be quite annoying.”

Adaaku nodded in agreement and looked again at Joy. She was becoming more and more concerned at how she was acting. Usually, Joy was confident and put together but now she somewhat looked like a mess. Her meticulously kept afro was very messy and she was wearing joggers which she never would have been caught dead in.

“I’m sorry,” She said already standing up, “But my friend just came in and she looks like a mess. Do you mind if we cut this short?”

“Oh, it’s okay.” He said, getting up as well. “Do you mind exchanging numbers with me. I did enjoy talking to you and it’s always good to make a new friend.”

Adaaku agreed and gave him her number. He quickly texted her back and they both smiled politely at each other before he said goodbye and left the pub while she hurriedly walked to Joy. On her way there, she stopped at the bartender’s and murmured her order before going quickly to Joy.

“I don’t drink much but I thought that drinking was fun when it’s done with friends,” Adaaku said as she casually sat down next to Joy and put her hand on the one that had been raising a cup.

“Maybe I’m drinking alone because I don’t want to have fun,” Joy said sarcastically before shrugging her hand off and drinking her beer.

“You being alone like this makes it look like you are sad.”

“Maybe I am sad. Can’t I be sad. Do I have to be happy every goddamn fucking time? Last I checked I was human, and humans get sad too.”

“I know you’re human but maybe slow down on your drinking. I still want you to have a liver when you are older,” Adaaku said plaintively but Joy ignored her and kept drinking. “I don’t want you to be embarrassed tomorrow after getting drunk.”

“Hah, I was the unquestioned queen of drinking when I went to university. I guzzled alcohol like it was water and the pub was almost my second home. Get drunk? Please, don’t joke with me.”

“Okay but that was almost a decade ago and I know that you don’t drink much these days so just… slow down and tell me what’s going on.”

“What’s going on is that I want to drink, and you are stopping me. We are in a pub, what else is there?”

“Chips,” Adaaku replied immediately.

“Huh?”

“This pub has very good chips. Magnificent really. What do you think about getting chips?”

“I don’t want fucking chips,” Joy said with a little huff, “I want to be left alone.”

Adaaku kept quiet for a minute wondering how to sensitively say the next words. “I don’t think you want to be alone though. You could have gotten drunk just as well in your home and I know you don’t like to be public about your affairs so it must mean that you were hoping someone would come to you.”

Joy paused in shock and looked at the woman next to her like she’d never seen her before. She had enjoyed their tête-à-têtes and their competition had done wonders for her work ethic but something in her had refused to look closely at Adaaku. Sometimes, she thought nostalgically of the scent of aloe vera and brown lipstick, but she was quite happy with her girlfriend, so those thoughts never went anywhere, and she never indulged in them. Thus, she’d never thought too closely about who Adaaku Eze was as a person, only as a rival and acquaintance. She was surprised to realise that while she really didn’t know who Adaaku was, Adaaku seemed to understand her very well. How did that happen? She thought to herself.

“Looks like somebody’s done her research,” Joy said sardonically but made no other mention of her inner thoughts.

“This is stupid,” Adaaku said, “You’re not listening to me. I’ll just call Love. Maybe she’ll talk some sense into you.”

“Don’t do that. It’ll just ruin my image. I made sure to end it in a cordial and calm manner. How can I let her see me being pathetic?”

“End it?” Adaaku asked her heart in her throat. She couldn’t believe it. Somewhere deep in her heart she had hoped for their breakup but now that it had actually happened, she felt only sorrow and no happiness. She felt no glee in seeing Joy so devastated and it never even occurred to her that she now had a chance with her. “It can’t be that you and Love…broke up?”

“Hah. Why can’t it be?”

“But you and Love are-”

“-The quintessential lesbian couple,” Joy said in a dark tone, interrupting Adaaku, “The lesbian power couple. The ‘it’ relationship. Trust me I’ve heard them all. Well, I guess people can stop being jealous of us now. We’re as mortal as anyone else.”

“I’m not going to react like that. I don’t care about that. I care about you and why you’re drinking yourself to death.”

“I didn’t see it coming,” Joy said after a brief pause, “I thought we were good and then she tells me, a month before our anniversary, that she’s fallen out of love with me and she’s attracted to someone else. Then she calmly, oh so calmly, tells me in a soft voice that she’s freeing me as well to go for the person in my heart. She basically accused me, ME, of emotionally cheating. I’m flirty and social but I’m loyal. She wants to break up with me, fine but to accuse me of straying? No. But I didn’t tell her this. I calmly rebutted her then agreed to break up. And just like that we’re done.” Joy took in a deep breath and started crying. “Five years. We would have been together for five years next month and it’s over like that. God, I need a drink. I just want to drink myself to oblivion for the next five years.”

“Okay, no. We’re not doing that. Let’s go for the other cliché food that someone takes when they go through a breakup. Yes, I’m talking about ice cream.”

“Ice- Adaaku we’re in a pub! Yes, there’s more than alcohol but I’m certain that there isn’t ice cream.”

“Well lucky for you, I’m a regular at this pub. It’s one of the few explicitly lgbt accepting pubs and someone, hint it’s me, managed to convince the owner of the pub that lesbians love ice cream. Ergo, ice cream machine.”

Joy looked at Adaaku in surprise before she started chuckling at her sheer audacity. “Only you would think of having an ice cream machine at a pub and actually convince them to buy one,” Joy said, her chuckling gradually reducing until it disappeared, and her expression returned back to being morose.

“Yes, I am amazing. Anyway, I’ve already ordered some ice cream which should be coming soon and don’t worry, I chose strawberry. I remember you told me it was your favourite before.”

“And I guess you stuck with vanilla.”

“Yes, because it is the best. Sometimes the plainest and simplest is the most superior.”

“Heh,” Joy said then put her head on the table, retreating into her thoughts. Adaaku looked at her with worry but was relieved that Joy had slowed down her alcohol intake. A waitress came up to them with two bowls in a tray and some water then put them down on the table. Adaaku thanked her and poked Joy’s arms.

“Hey, ice-cream’s here and we can have more afterwards.” Joy made no movements and Adaaku poked her again, lowering her voice to an intimate, low tone. “Come on, their ice-cream is really great. I promise you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“How are you so sure,” Joy said, her voice muffled by her hands.

“Around a year ago, I broke up with my partners. It was kinda unavoidable, but I was pretty messed up about it, so I came here with my friends. We ended up taking a lot of ice-cream but oddly enough, it helped me get better. Although, I think that while the ice-cream was great, the venting was truly what I needed. To vent about my shitty circumstances with people that supported and understood me was really what I needed.”

“Hmph, there’s no one to help me do that.”

“I mean, I can do that for you,” Adaaku said hesitantly. She grew more emboldened at Joy’s silence. “No one said that rivals can’t be friends and ever since your house party, I’ve always thought that we could be considered as…friends?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it my house party,” Joy started and slowly raised her head, “Or our house party. More specifically, it was Love’s party. I was never really fond of them. I didn’t really enjoy the public coming into our place and seeing our private lives, but Love loved parties. She loved hosting and she loved social events. She would take months to plan parties that would last hours but it brought her so much happiness and I loved seeing it on her. Also, post party sex was great, she was weirdly bursting with energy after any successful event. So, you know, I endured it.”

“Oh. You’re starting now?”

“You said I could vent,” Joy said with faux outrage.

“I know sorry. You can say whatever. This is a safe space.”

Joy snorted and continued with a smile on her face. “Anyway, at least I don’t have to endure any more party planning. I don’t even know if I’ll be invited to anymore parties. Heh, I guess I’ve got to move out now. Shit, I don’t have a place to live. Renting in London is going to be a pain. This is too much.”

“Uh, you can move in with me,” Adaaku said impulsively. Joy looked at her intensely as if looking into her eyes would let her understand the woman in front of her who claimed to be her rival but was so friendly towards her.

“You’re so strange,” She drawled, “You’re willing to let your rival live with you. What if I see your plans and take advantage of them?”

“I was just offering,” Adaaku grumbled, “If you don’t want to then don’t worry.”

“Sorry, thank you. I really appreciate it but don’t worry I’ll ask one of my friends to let me crash at theirs and I have some money saved up. If all fails, I’ll just move back in with my parents at Peckham. But thank you for offering.”

Adaaku nodded her head. She understood that offering her place to Joy was probably a bad idea, after all she hadn’t spoken to her flatmate yet, but she was suddenly saddened at her rejection. It had been an impulsive offer, but she had really wanted to live with Joy; to see her when she woke up and be in the same domestic space. Oh well, not all dreams can be fulfilled. Adaaku quickly refocused on what Joy was saying.

“To be frank, it’s not really looking for a new place to live that I am dreading. It’s that I have to start looking for a new place to stay. I never told Love this, but I was looking forward to marrying her one day. When I got together with her, I had planned on it being something serious, something forever. I forgot that it’s not just me that decides that.”

Adaaku slowly stretched her hand to rub on Joy’s back before Joy suddenly pulled out her phone from her pocket.

“I just can’t stop thinking about who it is that she’s attracted to. I keep on looking at her Instagram and looking at all the women she’s liked or followed. Is it Ellie or Alice or Chioma or Mali or Rosalia? It could be anyone. She’s in contact with so many women, many of whom have crushes on her. I wish I knew so I could show her how I’m better than them and we could get back together. You know what, I’ll call her and ask.”

“Okay. No don’t do that. I wouldn’t be a good friend if I let you do that. Friends don’t let friends embarrass themselves in front of exes. Trust me, you’ll feel better about this when you’re more sober,” Adaaku said then took Joy’s phone from her for safekeeping. “I’ll give this to you later. When you’re less likely to call your ex fifteen times. Trust me that’s not fun.”

“Fine~ Sure~ Then let’s talk about other stuff. I’ve been talking about my stuff why don’t you talk. Fifteen seems like a specific number. I guess you called your ex fifteen times.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. We should be focusing on you.”

“Nope. I want to hear about your stuff.”

“Okay but don’t laugh. It was more like thirty times. I called Alice fifteen times and Tim fifteen times. When I woke up the next day, I had to call both of them and let them know that I was okay. It was so embarrassing.”

“Hmm. Why did you guys break up, anyway? Did someone get jealous or did someone get kicked out of the relationship or something?”

“That is such a stereotype,” Adaaku said giving a Joy a dark look, “Not all, or many even, poly relationships have issues with jealousy. I wasn’t jealous when Alicia and Tim made love. I loved them both and I just felt happy when they were happy with each other. You can love more than one person at a time, and I loved them a lot. Jealousy’s not to blame for our relationship ending. No, you can blame capitalism for that.”

“Capitalism?” Joy said incredulously.

“Yes, capitalism. Alicia got her dream job, but it was in America. We talked about moving to the States, but I wasn’t going to live in a country without a socialised or public funded healthcare system so all three of us broke up.”

“What, you didn’t keep on dating Tim?”

“I mean I thought about it. I liked him but I couldn’t. I fell for both of them and it couldn’t work with just two people. It just felt wrong so none of us stayed together,” Adaaku said then drank some water, “It wasn’t as long as yours, but it was long enough to make a baby.”

“Wait did someone got pregnant in this?”

“No! I was making a joke. We were together for nine months ergo long enough for a baby to be born.”

“Okay,” Joy said and took some ice-cream. “Not a very funny joke,” She muttered.

“Wow. How ruthless of you to crush my deepest dreams to do stand up.”

Joy groaned. “Oh no say you’re joking. You have no idea how many white men I’ve heard say that with all seriousness and then do an everyone’s too pc this day joke.”

“Seriously? They say that to you, a black woman?”

“Yep. And I think they think it’s progressive. Like a version of I don’t see colour: I can say the same thing I say to my white friends to you. Except it’s just racism spewing out of their mouths. I definitely make sure that they see colour afterwards.”

Adaaku laughed, shaking her head. “I was just kidding. That’s not my actual dream.”

“Thank God. Well don’t leave me in suspense. What’s your dream?”

“Okay but seriously don’t mock me. I want to run my own agency and label one day. I want to be an influential person in British entertainment and then lead our entertainment industry to rival America’s.”

“Hmm.”

“What? Fine you can laugh but only for a minute.”

“No, I didn’t think it was amusing. It’s a great dream and you are clearly on the path to it. I guess hearing you made me realise how far I am from my actual dream.”

“Actual dream? Do you not like your current job?”

“Managing celebrities is fun but I guess I always thought I would work in fashion.”

“Fashion?! I didn’t see that coming.”

“I know. No one ever thinks that, but I even have a fashion degree.”

“So, what happened?”

“Oh nothing just that my boss was a racist piece of shit who was scared of black women. She was liberal and progressive on the surface but no dark-skinned employee of hers ever got any opportunities or chances to advance. She kinda had this belief that black women were too aggressive to ever understand fashion.”

“What? What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t understand racist people. I spent two years working there with nothing to show for it even though I was basically running the show by the time I left. But it was there I met Love. She told me to get out as quickly as I could and find something else I was good at. I didn’t listen to her; I was too stubborn, and I thought that as long as I was exceptional someone would give me a chance. But it never happened. I was depending on the enemy to realise my value. So, I resigned but my boss was too influential. After I resigned, there was always an excuse to not hire me. I knew I couldn’t make it in fashion, and I wasn’t cut out to be a celebrity, but Love was still managing one or two celebrities, so I decided to try it out.”

“That’s shitty,” Adaaku said and poured some of Joy’s alcohol into her empty glass before drinking it. It wasn’t cold anymore, but she always felt the urge to drink whenever she heard of discrimination. Joy shook her head in amusement and pushed her other drinks towards Adaaku.

“Indeed, it is. I didn’t become an agent because I wanted Love to like me, but I looked up to her. I was so happy when she asked me out. I didn’t expect to break up before our fifth anniversary. I’m going to get more ice cream. Would you like some as well?”

Adaaku nodded her head and Joy headed to the bartender surprisingly stable for someone who had drank as much as she had. Perhaps there was some truth to her alcohol capacity.

Joy returned to the table with a few glasses of alcohol.

“I asked for a gin and tonic. I know what you said about ice cream but then I thought why not both. It’s a Friday anyway.”

Adaaku snorted. “Is any of those for me?”

“I thought you were trying to stop me from drinking.”

“You made me think sad thoughts. Besides, it’s boring to drink alone.”

“Amen to that,” Joy replied and handed one of the glasses. “You know I was wondering what gin and tonic with ice cream would taste like.”

“A nightmare. A horrid nightmare.”

“Maybe but I’ll try it anyway.”

“You better get an extra bowl, so you don’t mess up your ice cream.”

Joy laughed out loud and took a sip from her drink. She was surprised to find out that she was no longer as sad before. She looked at Adaaku with gratitude in her eyes, thanking her for appearing at the moment she did. She had planned to drink herself silly and then fuck whoever was willing, but she realised she preferred this instead. You truly are a treasure.²Note: Adaaku means treasured daughter in Igbo

∞∞∞

Although Adaaku’s kindness was repaid with a blinding headache and an embarrassing situation with Joy the next morning – they didn’t have sex but Adaaku had gotten drunk and had refused to let go of Joy when she dropped her off, most awkward breakfast ever – it lead to her exchanging numbers with Joy. Now they were firmly in the camp of friends. If Adaaku saw a cute cat or a funny cat or any cat, she would forward it to Joy while Joy was always sending her pictures of the different styles she had done with her afro.

It was going well. They were friends. She actually enjoyed being Joy’s friend. She was smart, funny, gorgeous and competitive as hell. Not only in their jobs but also in baking, cooking and in who could finish an episode faster. To outsiders it looked like they always fought but Adaaku enjoyed their competitions. It might not have been how she wanted to spend her time with her, but it made Joy look excited and exhilarated. Which was great because with everyone finding about Love and Joy’s breakup, Joy was not happy anywhere else.

Her friends had stopped pushing her to date but had warned her to be careful about how much she was putting into this friendship. Still, she ignored them. She was fine, things were great. So what if Joy was still the most beautiful woman she had ever seen or that looking into her eyes always took her breath away, that she imagined those eyes pulling her deep down but that she was okay with it or that she was always aware of Joy whenever she was in the room. It wasn’t anything much. It was just attraction. It wasn’t like she was in love with her.

Adaaku was able to say those things to herself until three months after Joy and Love’s breakup when Joy started dating. Adaaku had always thought that she would be able to stand it when Joy started dating again but it was so much worse than she thought because they were friends now. She felt like she was in a special kind of hell when Joy showed her pictures of women she was planning to date and asked her to judge them. She had felt like refusing them all, of inventing perceived flaws but she had promised to be a good friend to Joy. So, she put aside her feelings and laughed at their profiles and teased Joy about the dates and talked about the quirks of her dates. But inside, she was seething.

It was always in the back of her throat. The question, why not me? But she knew the answer to that. They were friends. Good friends even. And you don’t fuck your friends. She had known that becoming friends with Joy would end any chances of them getting together but she had done it because she had wanted to be friends with her. Being with Joy was a subtle, obvious pleasure and she had wanted to bask in the warmth of her flame.

Adaaku hadn’t expected to stop feeling some sort of attraction for Joy, after all, she had liked her for five years now, but she had expected to fall in love with other people like she had done before in the past. However, being next to Joy was like being next to a fire, you couldn’t ignore the heat. It had been easy to fall for other people when she barely knew her but now that she was closer to Joy, her feelings for her grew.

Still Adaaku had been able to endure it because even though Joy had gone on a few dates, she had never gone on a second date. Until she did.

It was ten months after Joy’s breakup and Adaaku was hanging out at Joy’s new flat. It had been a pain to transfer over five years’ worth of time and memories from Love’s house, but they had finally done it. Joy had made a remark that at least they would be no more house parties at her tiny flat. It had been a joke but there was an undertone of sadness yet finality to it. That was when Adaaku knew that Joy was going to get over Love.

Anyway, she was hanging out at Joy’s when Joy casually, oh so casually, mentioned that her second date with Rose, a white lawyer with beautiful brown hair and eyes, had gone well.

“Oh. I didn’t know you went on second date,” Adaaku said.

“Yep. Didn’t want a reputation as a player so I psyched myself up to go on another date with the person I’d liked the most.”

“Okay,” Adaaku said. There was silence for a while as Joy typed on her laptop and Adaaku cut her fingernails. “A lawyer though,” Adaaku said after a while, “Really?”

“We shouldn’t judge people by their professions, Adaaku.”

“I thought she wasn’t your type. You told you were suspicious of lawyers.”

“Well, I realised I was being biased. She is a powerful, independent, influential woman. And she’s hot.”

“Huh. So, are you two going to start dating or something?”

Joy closed her laptop and turned to look intently at Adaaku. “It’s just a second date. I’m just exploring all options,” She said and looked at Adaaku as if she was waiting for something. “Is there a problem with that?”

“No. It’s your life. It’s just. Powerful, influential, independent. Doesn’t that sound familiar to you.”

Joy sighed before speaking, “If you have something to say, just say it.”

“I’m just saying that it looks like you are replacing Love with another Love.”

“Lord give me strength,” Joy said under her breath, “First of all, her name is Rose. And those adjectives could describe lots of women. I could describe you with exactly those adjectives so it’s not a big d-.”

“-Then why have you never looked at me,” Adaaku said in an explosion of emotion before realising what she said and covering her mouth with her hands.

“What? What was that?”

“Nothing. I have to go,” Adaaku said and quickly picked up her bag before walking quickly to the door. She moved so fast that she had almost made it to her destination before Joy reacted. But when she did, she was just as fast.

Joy quickly ran and held Adaaku’s arm, stopping her from moving. “Do you want me to look at you?” She asked surprised. She had never thought that Adaaku would be interested in her. After all, she still remembered how aggressive Adaaku had been towards her. “Do you have feelings for m-?”

Joy never got to finish that question because she got interrupted.

Soft warm lips. Warm breath. Aloe vera.

Those were the thoughts that ran through Joy’s mind when Adaaku kissed her. It was at first a soft brush of the lips but perhaps emboldened by Joy’s non-reaction, Adaaku kissed her again. This time lingering on her lips.

“This is how I feel about you,” She said, her voice shaking with unshed tears, her mouth trembling, “This is how I always feel about you. I thought I could be friends. I wanted to be friends. I enjoyed being friends. But I can’t. I can’t watch you date someone else and cheer you on. I can’t recommend the best woman for you to date. I can congratulate for landing the woman of your dreams. Because it hurts. Because I want the woman of your dreams to be me. Not Love, not Rose. Not any of the tens of people you’ve dated. Me. I want to see you when you wake up and when you go to sleep. I want to kiss you and hug you and embrace you. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. And I can’t have that.” She took in a deep breath and took a step back. “I’m sorry. You need a friend right now, but I don’t think I can be the friend you need. I want to be friends with you, but I want to be lovers as well. I can’t do this anymore.”

Sniffling, Adaaku turned to leave but before she could take as step, Joy whirled her around by the arm.

“Who said I didn’t want those things too,” She said and tugged Adaaku closer. The kiss this time was not as chaste as the previous ones. There was a sense of tension, of passion, of explosive desire. Adaaku opened up to Joy and she delved in as if to memorise her taste.

Adaaku’s finger’s dug into Joy’s afro as their tongues entangled with one another. I must be dreaming, She thought. This isn’t real. I should wake up. Right now. But even if it was a dream, Adaaku did not want to awaken. She would not mind being stuck forever in this dream if it meant that she could hold the woman she so desired.

Suddenly, Joy’s lips separated from her own and Adaaku instinctively followed. There was a soft chuckle and Adaaku opened her eyes to see Joy looking at her with fondness and desire. She looked like she was delirious with happiness.

“What?” Adaaku asked.

Joy smiled. “You,” She said before kissing her again. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Maybe even longer than I knew,” She said while peppering her with kisses.

“Are we doing this?” Adaaku asked.

Joy paused. “If you want to. If you don’t want to, we can stop,” She said and started pulling away from her.

“Oh hell no. I didn’t dream about this for years to stop now,” Adaaku said and pulled Joy closer to kiss her again.

Adaaku felt the curve of Joy’s smile against her lips and gave in to the desire thrumming through her body. She could talk with Joy later about what their relationship was but now she was going to focus on this.

Joy did not restrict herself to kissing Adaaku’s mouth. When there was a whole feast to choose from, why should she limit herself to one part. She kissed her everywhere. Her cheeks, her eyelids, her ears. She spent a lot of time focusing on her neck. Finally, she separated from Adaaku to inspect her handiwork.

There was a beautiful curvy woman resting on her wall. Her glimmering eyes shone with desire and Joy’s lipstick left marks all over her face. She was trembling and there was a euphoric look on her face. Joy found that she very much liked what she saw. Seeing the lipstick marks on her body made an animalistic feeling go through her. She wanted to leave many more permanent marks on Adaaku’s body in places where she alone could see.

“God you’re sexy,” She said before diving in for another searing kiss.

“And you’re overdressed,” Adaaku replied before slipping her hands under Joy’s shirt and taking it off with Joy’s help. She revelled in feeling Joy’s bare skin underneath her before moving to undo her bra claps. But there was nothing there. Adaaku’s hands wandered around her back in confusion before Joy chuckled.

“The clasps are in the front,” Joy said taking pity on her.

Adaaku glared at her, “It’s not funny,” She said but her hands were already expertly undoing the clasps. And then there was nothing to say because Joy’s breasts were free. Adaaku’s mouth watered as she looked at the dusky brown nipples. Nothing in the world was going to prevent her from tasty them.

“You’re beautiful,” Adaaku said in an awed tone.

“Oh, you flatter me,” Joy started to say but had to stop because Adaaku had licked her nipples. She looked up at Joy and gave a teasing smirk. “Okay, we’ve got to go to the bed because I can’t do much to you when we’re upright.” She turned and hurried to her bedroom with Adaaku right behind her.

As soon as they both entered, Joy turned Adaaku around, slammed her against the door and kissed her. Both women kissed passionately, separating only for a few breaths. Adaaku moved her lips from Joy’s lips to slowly trail them down. She took a few steps forward and Joy responded in turn, taking a few steps backward until finally her bed was pressed against her leg.

There was a wolfish grin on Adaaku’s lips and a devilish look in her eyes as she pushed Joy to the bed. Joy shuffled backwards to make space for Adaaku who dived down to lick and suckle Joy’s beaded nipples. Joy moaned at the touch of Adaaku’s warm lips on her right nipple and more so when Adaaku tweaked and fondled her left. She alternated what nipple she sucked or fondled so Joy was lost in a world of pleasure. She was so immersed that she only noticed Adaaku’s hand had been drifting downwards when she felt her unbutton her jean shorts.

“Wait,” She managed to gasp out and Adaaku stopped.

“What is it?” Adaaku asked her face tinged with worry, “Are you okay? Have I done something wrong?”

“No! No. I just don’t like being the only one naked.”

“Okay,” Adaaku said and quickly moved to take her top off.

“No,” Joy said and Adaaku looked at her quizzically, “Do it slowly.”

“So, you want a striptease,” Adaaku said in a teasing tone but complied. She turned around before taking her top off and then her trousers. She deposited them to her side and in only her bra and pants, turned so Joy saw only her back. Adaaku smiled when she heard a gulp of air. She turned to look at Joy over her shoulder. Joy seemed completely entranced by the sight in front of her.

Her gaze drifted over the skin that was in front of her. She saw the stretch marks, the birthmarks, the scars from injuries that had not perfectly healed, and she found them all perfect. This was the body of the woman she loved and desired. How could she not love it?

Adaaku was nervous now, the confidence that had galvanised her earlier failing. It had been over a year since she had had sex and she had only gotten bigger since then. She had expected to quickly take her clothes off and for Joy to not notice but she could feel Joy’s gaze drifting over inch of her body on display and while it increased her arousal. It also brought back her doubt. Was Joy really going to find it pleasurable to sleep with her? After all, she had been with more beautiful women. She knew that Love was more beautiful than her. Was she going to be enough for her?

“You’re devastating,” Joy said from behind her, “I could look at you forever and be perfectly satisfied yet still want more.”

Well if that’s the case, Adaaku thought and unhooked her bra before sliding her pants down. “I’m turning around,” She announced before slowly doing so. “I’m a bit shy,” Adaaku said in a sultry tone before looking down at the breasts she’d hidden behind her breasts.

Joy cleared her throat before responding. “Yes, I can see that,” She said, her eyes drifting down to Adaaku’s lower body which she had left uncovered.

“Like what you see?”

“You know I’ll say yes,” Joy said before gesturing at her, “Come here. I’m suddenly feeling very inpatient.”

Adaaku raised her eyebrow at the promise she heard in Joy’s voice before putting her hands down exposing herself to Joy’s eyes. She refused to obey Joy’s order and took her time in walking to the bed. Joy rose up and impatiently yanked Adaaku atop her before kissing her. Adaaku’s hands drifted down to Joy’s shorts and this time she did not stop her, even lifting her hips to help Adaaku take off the shorts.

Adaaku’s hands replaced her shorts luxuriating in the hair she found there before slipping into Joy. She was very wet. Adaaku smiled, proud of the effect she had on Joy and absorbed the gasp that Joy had made when she had rubbed her nub.

Joy pouted and as if to punish her gave her a nip on her shoulder which caused Adaaku to laugh. Her laughter did not last long, as Joy descended on Adaaku’s breast to give her the same treatment that she had gotten.

Sometimes slowly, sometimes leisurely and sometimes with aggressive passion, they drove each other to the peak of pleasure and euphoria. It was a long, pleasurable night filled with passion and love.

∞∞∞

Later than night when all passion and pleasure had been wrought from each other, Joy and Adaaku laid down and looked at each other, taking simple pleasure in being close with the other person. Joy’s thumb kept on stroking Adaaku’s cheeks and Adaaku’s hand was splayed, quite possessively, on Joy’s buttocks which had a few hickies on it.

“When did you start liking me,” Joy said suddenly breaking the serene silence, “You said you’d liked me for a while and I was quite surprised because until quite recently, I thought you hated me.”

Adaaku kept quiet for a while before sighing after being poked in the cheek many times.

“Okay, I’ll tell you but if I hear anything that sounds like a laugh I’m stopping.”

“I promise I won’t laugh.”

“Okay it was over five years ago. I had just come out as bi to my parents and while they weren’t the most enthusiastic, they said they accepted me. Frankly, I think they thought that I would choose to be with a man in the end. It wasn’t the affirmative experience I had hoped for, but it was way better than I expected. You know how African parents are,” Adaaku said and Joy nodded in agreement, “Anyway, I’d come out to my parents so I felt that it was time to change my tinder preference to both men and women instead of men alone.”

“Huh. Why do I feel like I see where this going?”

“Shush, let me tell my story. Anyway, I could date women now. Hurray! Except I didn’t match with most of the women I swiped right on, some were just promoting their insta and others were clearly there to look for threesomes.”

“That sounds like Tinder.”

“Yup. Anyway, despite Tinder’s efforts, I met a few women who I liked, and I chatted with them. And by them, I mean you.”

“Me? I don’t remember matching with you.”

“I definitely did. If you’re in doubt, you can check. Tinder remembers all. But not now, I haven’t finished my story. Anyway, we matched, and we chatted for a while. Like a month. And then one day, you just stopped replying. You fucking ghosted me, Joy Osei,” Adaaku said then pinched Joy’s butt.

“I guess that’s why you were so petty when we first met.”

“You didn’t remember me at all. And you were dating someone else, Miss I’m currently single and would like to meet up. That was your last message to me you know and then I find you with someone else.”

“Ah I see. In my defence, I don’t ghost people. I was just caught up with Love and must have forgotten.”

“Do you think you still have a right to a defence?” Adaaku said and poked Joy’s side.

“Okay, Okay I’m sorry. Don’t be angry,” Joy said and played with her lips. Adaaku looked to the side and smiled. Even though she had been a little bit angry, how could she remain angry now when she was so happy.

Joy moved her other hand to her bedside table and brought her phone to her sight. Adaaku looked at her with some irritation. Was she really going online at this time? But Adaaku said nothing, only increasing the frequency of her caresses.

Joy opened her phone and quickly opened her tinder app before browsing through her matches. She really had a lot as she had a minor hoarding habit which meant that she rarely deleted or removed anything on her phone. She scrolled down to the bottom and then she saw it. She had matched with a woman called Ada Akueze almost six years. She fiddled with her phone for a bit before putting it down. On the other side, Adaaku’s vibrated and made a sound indicating a notification but Adaaku ignored it. She was not going to be like Joy who was more interested in her phone than in her. Yes, it’s a bit petty but I’ve always been petty anyway.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” Joy asked.

“No. I’m more interested in you.” Unlike you.

“Aiya. You’re so petty. Come on check it out. It could be really important.”

“What is it now. I bet you’ve done something,” She huffed but reached out to her phone. She unlocked it and was about to pull down the notification window when she noticed something. You see the last thing she had looked at on her phone was the tinder conversation between herself and Joy. She had been very surprised when Joy had not unmatched her but had been disappointed to learn that it was because Joy had too many matches to scroll to the bottom to see their conversation. She had thought often about unmatching but had always changed her mind at the last minute.

Their tinder conversation had remained the same way, unchanged for almost six years with the last message recorded being her reply to Joy of ‘sure, where should we meet.’ Now there was a new addition and it wasn’t from her. It read:

‘Hi Ada Akueze (btw I get why you changed your name. Coming out scruples and all that). So sorry, I haven’t replied for so long. Would you mind going on a date with me? And would you be my girlfriend? Please say yes.’

Adaaku opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking at Joy who was staring at her with anticipation. She cycled through many emotions and expressions that Joy began to get nervous. Had she made the wrong move? She’d thought that they were already a done deal but maybe this had exhausted all of Adaaku’s desire for her. After all, she was almost 30. Maybe Adaaku wanted someone younger? But that wasn’t possible, she reminded herself. Adaaku had clearly said she wanted her, and it might be boasting but she knew that she was very excellent in bed. There was nothing to complain about and Adaaku had clearly enjoyed herself after coming three times. Still, was Adaaku going to dine and dash? No way, she was going to make her take responsibility.

“What’s your answer?” Joy asked. Adaaku moved to reply on her phone before stopping and looking at her. Then she put her phone away. “What?” Joy asked frustrated.

Adaaku placed both hands on Joy’s cheeks before gently pulling her closer and tenderly kissing her. It was as intense as before but this time Adaaku was not being driven by her passion and ardour but her feelings for her.

“You silly woman. Of course, it’s a yes from me.”

Joy smiled before tilting her head in surprise. “Wait a second. Why didn’t you respond on the app?”

“I’ve been the last response for almost six years. Don’t you think it’s time to do the same?”

“Ah my girlfriend is so petty,” Joy teased, “But I still like her.”

“Yes. So, what if I’m petty,” Adaaku retorted cockily, “But frankly, you’re right here in front of me. What do I need Tinder for? From now on, we’ll conduct our romance physically.”

“Whatever my Queen says is what I’ll do,” Joy said still teasing and Adaaku kicked her leg.

“By the way,” Adaaku started in a seemingly casual manner, “Tell that Rose that there are no more dates. And cancel all your other dates. We belong to each other, so you don’t need them anymore.”

Joy smiled and kissed Adaaku’s cheek. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t planning on going on a third date with Rose. I said it just to see if you would have any reaction.”

“Wait. You tricked me?”

“If I didn’t trick you, would this have happened? I didn’t know if anything would happen, but I was desperate. You didn’t seem to care about me dating other people. I’m usually decisive but I’m bad at confessing to someone I really care about. Thankfully, you reacted, and I didn’t have to lose you.”

“Don’t get used to it. From now on, I’m going to make you voice out your desires.”

“Come on. Didn’t I voice my desires quite clearly. I remember asking you to fingerbang me,” Joy whispered into Adaaku’s ear, her fingers trailing down her body.

“Hush. Shut it. I’m telling you now. I’m too tired for another round. Let’s just sleep,” Adaaku said clearly shy. She gave Joy a peck on her cheek and quickly closed her eyes. Joy smiled and kissed her shoulder before entwining both their hands.

∞∞∞

When Joy met Adaaku for the first time, she had been pleasantly surprised. Although her name made Joy think that she was a black woman, she could never be certain. It could have been Swedish name, for example. Still, she was very pleased to meet her. It was very rare to see another BAME (ugh, she hated that moniker) person in the managing talents business and even rarer to see a black woman in that position. To see another black woman thriving was good to see, particularly when she was very different from beauty standards.

However, there was something wrong. This woman did not seem to like her. She had glared at her when they had first met and there was something like sadness in her eyes when Joy had introduced herself and her girlfriend. Still, Joy ignored it. She must have mistaken her expression, she thought.

She had to revise that thought when Adaaku had gloated about stealing a chance from her when they next met. Joy hadn’t made a huge fuss about it because she had been impressed. It was not easy to snatch an opportunity from her hand. She was congratulating Adaaku when Adaaku spat out that she was going to end Joy’s dominance with an animalistic smirk on her face. That was when Joy knew she hated her.

She had thought that she could brush Adaaku off but Adaaku surprised her even more because what she said came to pass. Instead of assuming that she would get anything she wanted for her talents, she had to actually fight for it with Adaaku nipping at her heels.

It would be a lie for Joy to say that she had positive emotions for Adaaku in this period. Even though Joy prided herself on her calmness and control, she had sworn often in private at every opportunity Adaaku took from her. It wasn’t the rivalry that bothered Joy but the maliciousness and gloating that Adaaku displayed. So, she wouldn’t lie, she had detested her.

This lasted until one of those blasted house parties that Love threw. She hadn’t seen the exact moment that Brad had poured his drink, but she had heard murmurs and whispers. She had wanted to ignore the situation, but it rubbed her wrong to leave her like that. It reminded her of similar incidents in her past. Of having dresses stained and spending the remainder of the day in the bathroom, trying to wash away the damage. She had hoped that someone would come. If not to help, then to give her encouragement. But nobody came for her, so she resolved to be that person for Adaaku.

So, she’d given her jacket to cover the stain and she’d told a half-truth. It was true that she kept clothes in various sizes for all her talents and that Garcia was a plus sized model. But that wasn’t the main reason. How could she tell her the tale of being fat and young and mocked? Of looking in the mirror and hating herself. Of feeling like she occupied too much space in the world. Of feeling afraid that her fat would crowd her heart or her liver or her lungs. Of the struggle and difficulty it took to reduce and maintain her weight. That she bought plus sized clothing in the fear that she would wake up and it would be all a dream and she would be back to her previous weight.

No, she couldn’t tell her that. Those talks were for her therapist. Besides, she wasn’t as bad as she was in the past and she was genuinely happy and confident about her weight and figure. So, she waved her question away with her non answer and focused on helping her.

That was the first time she had considered Adaaku as attractive. Before she had acknowledged her good looks, but it had been in an abstract manner. After working in the industry for such a long time, she had already met many good-looking people. She would be falling in love forever if good looks were enough to catch her attraction. Besides, she and Love were in a magnificent relationship and Love had been beautiful enough for her. But for a second in the bathroom as she was helping Adaaku with her makeup, she had been tempted to kiss her.

She had dispelled the thought really easily but was frightened that she had even thought of it, so she was more affectionate to Love. That feeling had went away, or so she thought, so she was able to be friendlier with Adaaku without being influenced by it.

But what she hadn’t noticed was how frequently she talked of, thought of and texted with Adaaku. Love had silently noted this and had become annoyed, but she comforted herself with the thought that Joy was probably ecstatic that an enemy had finally become a friend. At least that’s what Joy had told her when Love casually mentioned the increased frequency of Adaaku’s name in their house.

(By the way, not to segue, but it was at this party that Love met the person she fell for. It was a Professor who taught politics at Cambridge. She was eight years older at 44 years old.)

Their casual friendship had ended at their coincidental meeting at Hallelujah, the pub where she was mourning her breakup. Adaaku had been funny, kind and respectful and Joy had been so grateful that she had been there for her. It wasn’t like Joy did not have friends of her own but the ones she really trusted did not live in central London. Joy had planned to drown her sorrow in the oblivion of the bottle but while she did drink, Adaaku’s presence had eased her sadness. It had been pretty funny that Adaaku was the one who had gotten drunk. She hadn’t been lying about the not drinking much thing, she did not have a good alcohol capacity.

She cried many times about the end of her relationship, asked to crash with a friend who lived in Lewisham for a few days while her friends helped her rent a flat in London and came to comfort her. But she never forgot Adaaku being kind when she most needed kindness and she resolved to be aggressively kind to her until they became friends.

So, imagine her surprise when she didn’t need to do anything, and they became friends. Adaaku lowered her guard and came to her housewarming party. She was there to help her move her things from Love’s house and she stayed overnight many times when Joy was very sad. Without her knowledge, they had suddenly become very close friends.

Thus, when she woke up in the middle of the night three months after her breakup to Adaaku putting a blanket on her before quietly leaving her flat and felt a rush of want, she had been very shocked. Desire had come quickly like a rushing storm and without any warning. She’d suddenly wanted to kiss and embrace her. And most importantly keep her close. She never wanted to see Adaaku leave again. She wanted them to live together and be together.

Oh, She thought, Is this what Love meant? She asked Love this question later on after she and Adaaku had gotten together. By this time, they had mended their relationship somewhat and while they would never be close friends, they were better than acquaintances. The lesbian circle was too small for people to have deep seated hatred for their exes. Most exes became friends after a while.

“Duh,” Love responded on the phone, “She was all you could think and talk about. It had been very annoying at first but became less annoying not because you stopped but because I was falling more and more for April.”

“Seriously, you don’t have to show off your love everywhere,” Joy had said in mock outrage.

“What about you? Aren’t you the one showing off? Why are you calling me over something you already know the answer to?”

However, such a conversation was in the future. For now, Joy smiled as she remembered the journey, they had taken to reach their destination. She squeezed Adaaku closer.

“Are you still awake?” Adaaku groaned, “Go to sleep already.”

“Okay,” Joy said softly and closed her eyes certain she would have good dreams that night.

Their sleep was sweet and full of happiness. And for the morning after, well that is for another story but these two were clearly glad for they had both met their match.

 

—The end—