Aidan
The Realms
Fourthday, 2nd week of the 10th month, Age of the Chosen 1
Late Morning
Ceallach Macht outskirts, Mistvale Highlands
After fixing his pants, Aidan oriented himself in the direction he felt Aoife was in, then took off at a jog. "This isn't exactly a fair hunt, Aoife!" he called out.
"Aww," came her voice echoing out of the fog. "Does the poor widdle Lord give up already? How about some extra incentive?" Something came flying out of the mist in front of Aidan but fluttered to the ground several feet in front of him. He stopped to pick it up; there in his hand was a thin wisp of warm cloth. Aidan's blood surged south as he realized he was holding Aoife's panties.
"Right," he growled. "Message received loud and clear. Time to cheat." As things were, Aidan was at a severe disadvantage in these circumstances. He couldn't see through Aoife's Mist Shroud, and he had no skill or experience in tracking prey. What he did have was magic. A few seconds and three casts of Minor Shift later, Aidan gave himself a rattlesnake's thermal vision, an elephant's sense of smell, and the hearing of a bat.
It took Aidan a moment to acclimate to his new super-sharp senses, but soon he had a wide array of information available to him. He still couldn't see Aoife's position in the fog—assuming she even stuck around after taunting him—but he could smell her and see the slight difference in the temperature of the air and ground where she'd been standing.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Aidan called out as he resumed the hunt. The echoes of his voice bouncing off the rubble and ruin around him revealed the obstacles in his path, and Aoife's footprints stood out faintly against the background chill. Now more confident in his ability to find his prey, Aidan picked up the pace, racing across ancient cobblestones, ducking under empty doorways, and vaulting over crumbling walls.
Aoife
Aoife's heart hammered in her chest as she darted through the ruins. Whatever spells Aidan cast back there forced her to agree with him: this wasn't a fair hunt at all, but it was her that was disadvantaged, not him. She regretted waiting to see his reaction to her taunt because it shaved away at her lead. She wanted him to catch her, seize her in his arms, throw her down, pin her with his weight—her foot caught on something and she hit the ground hard.
Aoife lay there for a moment, stunned by the sudden impact. It took several precious seconds before her wits returned and she regained enough breath to leverage herself to her hands and knees—and seconds were all she had. Before Aoife managed to finish standing, Aidan's smoky, spicy scent suffused the air around her, and his hands encircled her waist.
"Found you," he crooned into her ear. A shiver went up her spine as his warm body pressed against her back, and she couldn't hold back a whimper when she felt the hard bulge against her raised ass. She was in the perfect position for him to mount her: on her hands and knees, naked beneath her skirt, caught in his embrace. All she had to do was stay put, and for an eternal second, she was tempted to do just that.
Then Aoife's resolve hardened. He hasn't worked hard enough, she told herself. He hasn't earned it, earned me. I'm not that easy! Thinking fast, she pushed her hips back against Aidan's, grinding against him until his grip shifted, his hands trailing down to her hips. At that moment, she sprang forward, propelling herself to her feet and out of his grasp.
"Nice try," she yelled to him, "but not good enough!" She wanted Aidan to catch her, but not yet. Not until he'd been pushed to the limit, then broken past it. Searlas had treated her like a courtesan or mistress, all smooth wordplay and oblique insinuations about what he wanted. Aoife was tired of talk, tired of subtlety, and Aidan was too cerebral and considerate. She had to get his adrenaline going, bypass his conscious mind and engage the feral, animal id lurking within.
As she heard Aidan's heavy footsteps resume behind her, Aoife smiled. This was turning out to be a good morning after all.
Aidan
Aidan growled as Aoife slipped out of his grasp again, her shirt torn from her shoulders as she yanked free. He got a glimpse of her heavy, pale breasts heaving and coated with glistening sweat before the Mist Shroud enfolded her again. Aidan still knew exactly where Aoife was; although her skill hid her from his thermal vision just as well as it obscured visible light, it did nothing for the tiny droplets of water suspended all around her. Now that he was familiar with his new senses, Aidan could see the trail in the fog as clear as if the Realms had a quest tracker system leading him on a golden rail.
Shaking his head at the distraction, Aidan dropped the ruined clothing to the ground and took off after Aoife. He could feel his muscles, not used to this specific kind of intense activity, protesting, but he could tell that Aoife was growing tired as well, and he knew he had to have more Stamina to draw on than she did. It was only a matter of time until he either cornered her or she grew too tired to run.
Or until she lets me catch her, Aidan thought, sniffing the air. He knew this was affecting Aoife as much as it did him. There was a damp spot on his trousers from where she'd rubbed against him to escape the first time, and her pink nipples stood hard and proud on her breasts in that brief glimpse he'd gotten. The rich musk of Aoife's arousal was almost overwhelming now.
So he hunted and looked forward to the reward waiting for him at the end. Aidan forced himself to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth, despite how unnatural it felt. He listened to the faint sounds of Aoife's feet against the dirt and cobblestones and the echoes of her panting breaths bouncing off the dilapidated buildings all around them. He followed her scent-trail, so clear to him now that he could separate out the smell of her sweat, her arousal, and the soap she used last from her natural scent. The sandalwood-and-vanilla fragrance entranced him, urging him to greater efforts.
Aoife
There! Aoife spotted her escape route. She knew Aidan was only a few seconds behind her, and the chase had long since brought her out of familiar terrain. She crouched down, then leaped upward, hands outstretched to pull her up through the hole in the ceiling of the mostly-intact building she found herself in. She caught the edge, but before she could pull herself up, strong hands clamped around her ankles and pulled hard.
Aoife cried out in surprise as she was yanked down into Aidan's body. She bounced off his chest and sprawled to the floor, the softer landing letting her scramble up onto her hands and knees right away, but he was upon her a heartbeat later. She writhed, fighting off his hands, feeling her skirt join her blouse in destruction, the very act causing the ball of heat in her groin to double in intensity. She turned underneath him, reaching up to scratch at his face and neck with her fingers, claws sheathed to keep the collar from interfering.
Aidan looked at her with such hunger in those brilliant red eyes that Aoife froze like a deer caught in the headlights of an onrushing car. That gave him the chance to shove his knee between her thighs, forcing her legs apart, baring her sodden center to his hands. He took advantage immediately, fingers seeking out her flowering lower lips then plunging inside her. The sudden penetration broke Aoife out of her daze, and she lurched, arching away from Aidan, spinning back onto her belly and pulling herself away from him, but this time he would not be denied.
Aidan's left arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against him despite her best effort to flee. She rubbed herself against his erection, but to no avail; his arm tightened around her, and his answering thrust brought a needy gasp to her lips. Aoife shook her head in denial, then bowed her neck as she gathered energy to make another escape attempt. Then Aidan's right hand clamped around the back of her neck, and Aoife felt all resistance vanish from her body as her blood pounded in her ears and her vision went dark.
"I have you now," Aidan declared. He shifted his grip to the front of Aoife's throat, sweeping her hair aside and baring the back of her neck. A moment later, she felt his teeth against her skin. A thrill of exultation surged through Aoife, carried on wings of lust. She trembled in Aidan's grasp, unable to muster the will to fight free of him, her body taking autonomous action to prepare herself for what they both knew was coming. Her hips raised, her thighs spread, and her back arched to present her pulsing sex to the man who was about to conquer her exactly like she wanted him to.
Aidan
Aoife's scent was overpowering now that Aidan had her by the back of the neck. He could feel her trembling, but he could also feel the fierce, irresistible waves of lust and arousal rushing down the empathic link from her, battering at his mind. He growled without meaning to, drawing an answering mewl from the woman beneath him.
He could feel that she was ready, even eager, for the culmination of their savage foreplay. All of Aoife's determination, so prevalent earlier, fled the emotional link when Aidan bit the back of her neck, replaced by a need for completion so deep that Aidan found himself trying to fuck Aoife through his pants. You caught me, she said with subtle sounds and motions; now you need to stake your claim.
Secure in his belief that she was well and truly caught now, Aidan released his hold on Aoife's waist and lifted his hips off her to tug his pants down to his thighs. His captive whimpered at the absence of contact and pushed back against him, her eager squirming making him growl again. Leaving his trousers where they were, Aidan pulled Aoife's thighs apart, placed his knees beside and between hers, and thrust forward into her silken depths.
Aoife
A keening cry rose from deep within Aoife's chest as stars exploded in her vision. She felt Aidan's hard, thick cock spreading her apart in slow motion, every millimeter of progress he made causing the pleasure she felt to double. She wanted to thrust back against him, to wrap her legs around him and pull him deeper, to rake her claws down his back to mark her mate, but Aidan's teeth on her neck kept her frozen beneath him. She came hard, her helplessness adding raging intensity to the detonation inside her.
Aidan's hips came to rest against her upraised ass, his entire length buried inside her. She could feel his heartbeat, not only in his chest but in the way his manhood throbbed within her, his tip coming just short of the entrance to her womb. No man had ever been so deep or forced her walls so far apart with his girth. She'd had toys this big, but rubber was a pale, distant substitute for hot, hard flesh.
The days she'd spent avoiding Aidan had ratcheted Aoife's need for him ever higher, and now that his weight was upon her, Aoife felt frustration rising within her. Aidan was filling her beautifully, yes, and the aftershocks of her orgasm still reverberated in her belly, but she wanted more. He was still acting too slowly, too deliberately. She needed him to lose all control. Gathering every last shred of her focus she could muster, Aoife focused on the only part of her she still had any control over.
Aidan
Aidan held himself still while Aoife convulsed around him, straining against the need to empty himself inside her. Even though he'd hardly been abstinent in the last few days, hunting Aoife like prey woke something in him, deep and primal, causing him to grow more and more aroused with every near-miss. Now that he had her plush body writhing beneath him, impaled on his manhood, it was all he could do to keep from ending everything too early.
A tickling sensation on his bare ass was all the warning he got before Aoife's tail lashed, smacking against his skin. He jerked backward at the unexpected feeling, then groaned as her inner walls clung to him, all but sucking him back in. He couldn't help but thrust forward again, the crash of his hips against her rear filling the air with an unmistakable slapping sound. Aoife let out a plaintive, lust-filled cry as Aidan's instincts took over.
"Yes!" she panted in time with the impacts of flesh against flesh. "Fuck! Yes! Fuck! Yes!"
Aidan balanced on the threshold of oblivion, unable to keep himself from lunging forward in short, rapid strokes but unwilling to let it end so soon. Two sets of instincts warred inside him; one told him to fuck her hard and fast, to bury himself completely within her depths and paint her walls white with his seed, while the second urged Aidan to take a measured approach, making Aoife spasm and convulse in endless orgasms until she begged him to finish inside her.
A third part, the single remaining rational shard of clear thought, reminded Aidan that he could do both. He was a Courtesan, specialized in sexual skills, and he was almost inexhaustible when it came to the bedroom arts; there was no way Aoife could outlast him. Brighid and Sunnild had combined their efforts two nights ago in an attempt to do so and still failed.
Aidan released his grip on his prey's throat, no longer needed now that she had submitted to his mount, although he maintained the mating bite for a while longer; he enjoyed the entwined knots of helplessness and arousal emanating from Aoife. He slid his hand down to her chest, pulling her up until he could cup one of her heavy, swaying breasts in his palm. Aoife's back arched further, and she whined as his hard, possessive grasp pulled another orgasm from her.
The rhythmic pulse of Aoife's inner muscles around his shaft pushed Aidan over the edge. His grip on her waist and tit tightened, and he threw his head back to let out a roar as he plunged forward in full-strength thrusts, once, twice, a third time, and then he was coming, shooting thick ropes of seed into Aoife's womb.
Aoife
Aoife screamed as she felt the scalding hot feeling of Aidan's seed filling her. A second orgasm surged up from her toes, overwhelming the first and multiplying in strength as it did so. She could feel her mind melting as Aidan resumed his savage thrusts, clearly not satisfied with his conquest of her body yet. Each time his hips slapped against her ass, Aidan drove the breath from her lungs. Each time his fingers tightened on her hip or breast, she squealed in pleasure.
This was what she wanted, what she needed! There was no mistaking Aidan's intentions now, no need to worry and wonder. He was staking a claim to her entirely separate from the golden jewelry that bound them, and Aoife reveled in it even as he forced a fourth orgasm from her aching body.
It wasn't about submission, although that was something she had dabbled in from time to time. She understood the appeal of surrendering control to someone else, of letting go of the steering wheel, but no, it was the clarity and purity of intent that her overstressed mind craved.
"Yes! Anh, ah, ahh!" Aoife did her best to force the words out between involuntary grunts and squeals. "Aidan! Oh, ohfuck, ah! Tell me! Ohgod, ohfuckyes, please! Ahhhh!" She could only hope that Aidan could figure out what she wanted as another explosion robbed her of the ability to do anything but shriek in pleasure.
Aidan
There was a plaintive need, totally lacking in sexual context despite her moans and cries, behind Aoife's demand. Aidan knew that this was an answer she needed to hear. He could also tell that if his reply was inadequate, Aoife might never be able to fully trust him. Freeing her from the collar might salvage the situation, but nothing short of that would.
"Mine," Aidan growled to the writhing woman beneath his driving hips. "Not because I own you, but because I want you." He could tell from the tint of the emotions coming from Aoife that he was on the right track, so Aidan searched for more words even as he shifted to long, slow, hard thrusts.
"I want you, Aoife. I want you to be my woman, to live with me, eat with me, bathe with me, laugh with me, cry with me." Each phrase was punctuated by his groin bouncing off Aoife's rounded ass. "I want you to want all that, to be mine because you gave yourself to me, for you to claim me in the same way."
Aidan held himself inside the mewling catgirl for a few seconds to catch his breath, then resumed his speech and movements. "I don't love you, Aoife, but I could. Something about you makes me want to hold you and protect you and lift you up until you achieve your dreams." Aoife's emotions grew more intense with every word that came from Aidan's mouth, and the feedback combined with the sensations of her near-continual orgasm to drive him toward another peak.
Aoife
She felt Aidan stretch out above her, pressing every delicious, dominating inch of his body to hers. He pressed her down into the ground, forcing her legs to splay apart and making her uncovered left nipple scrape against the rough stone beneath her. I'll make him kiss it better later, a distant thought drifted through her mindscape. She paid it no heed. The only thing that mattered was Aidan's hands clutching at her, his cock thrusting away inside her pussy, and the words spilling from his mouth.
"Will you?" Aidan asked her, his lips against her neck, teeth scraping across one of her most sensitive spots. "Will you let me love you? Will you be my woman, my consort, and one day my wife?"
Aoife's thoughts shattered into infinite pieces. The only things left to her were emotions and sensations, intertwined in delightful, delirious harmony: Lust; fingers digging into her breasts, bringing pleasure and pain in equal measure. Affection; lips laying kisses across her neck and shoulder, sending tingles along her spine. Fulfillment; searing heat as the cock buried inside her flooded her womb with sperm. Contentment; every muscle in her body seizing up as the greatest orgasm of her life crashed through her, then relaxing into a quivering mass of jelly as she, for the first time in at least a year, let her final mask clatter to the ground.
Aoife arched hard against her man, her head thrown back, her hips jerking and rolling in time with the uncontrollable convulsions wracking her body. She scrabbled at the uneven stone floor, seeking purchase and finding it, using it to leverage herself back against Aidan even harder. Her mouth opened, at first letting out a silent scream, then Aoife gasped, bucked again, and cried out, "Yes!"
Aidan
Mid-Afternoon
| Congratulations! You have reached level 1 in Running. More than simply setting one foot in front of the other at an increased pace, this Skill determines how much Stamina is lost in the process, your maximum sustained speed, and how easy it is to perform other actions while running. A master of this Skill can run at superhuman speeds all day long with no penalty to actions. You are now Unskilled in Running. |
| Congratulations! You have reached level 1 in Parkour. The art of navigating complex environments in the fastest and most efficient manner possible. This Skill requires quick wits and quicker feet, but masters of Parkour can create opportunities out of impossible obstacles. You are now Unskilled in Parkour. Parkour is a subskill of Running. |
| Congratulations! You have reached levels 60 and 61 in Sex. |
Aoife nuzzled Aidan's chest from where she rested atop him. "I don't want you telling me what to do," she said in a soft, hoarse voice, the first words she'd spoken since agreeing to be his. She'd made plenty of noise in the intervening hours, but only in the form of moans, squeals, grunts, and wordless cries urging them both to greater heights of pleasure.
"Of course," Aidan agreed.
"You can ask me for anything, and I'll probably agree, but I need the control. I need to be able to say 'no' and know you'll accept it," she explained as if she hadn't heard Aidan's agreement.
"I understand," he said. "You can have as much control and support as you need."
"And I want to live with you, under the hill, not out here in the city. I understand you wanted to give me space, but I don't need it. It made me feel like you were discarding me once you reunited with your wife." Aoife's voice was raw and ragged, although she didn't seem to be paying any attention to it.
The raspy quality of her speech sent a frisson of worry through Aidan. As if in answer, the bracelet sent him a catalog of his lover's injuries, informing him of every bruise, scrape, and overstretched muscle on Aoife's body. His own memory supplied the causes of each: his fingers clenched tight at her bust and waist; his thrusts causing her hands, knees, shins, feet, and breasts to scrape against the stone; his teeth breaking tiny blood vessels beneath her skin; hours of impassioned cries inflaming the muscles in her throat.
Aidan shook his head to dispel the memories before they made him stiffen again. He could still go another round, but he could feel Aoife's exhaustion and satisfaction and knew she was done for the afternoon. Instead, he stroked her hair and apologized to her. "I'm sorry for that. I understand how it would seem that way. I did abandon you, if not in quite the way you mean. I wasn't thinking. And I'm sorry for hurting you earlier. I can feel how much pain you're in."
Aoife shook her head in denial. "No, it's fine. It's what I wanted, what I meant for you to do. I intended to drive you so wild that you'd do what you actually wanted, past all the kindness and consideration. I know the bracelet gives you an empathic link to me, Searlas told me that much, but it only goes one way. I needed to know your deepest emotions, and this was the quickest and best way."
"Will you let me heal you?" Aidan persisted. "I don't want you hurting unless that's something you like."
Aoife was silent for a few moments as if considering his question. "Go ahead," she said a while later. "I liked what caused the scrapes and bruises, but now it's all pain, no pleasure. I'm a hedonist, not a masochist." Soft lips pressed against his sternum. "Thank you for asking instead of just doing it."
Unable to see how much Health Aoife had actually lost during the chase and subsequent activities, Aidan opted for Pulse of Life instead of Patch Wounds. Aoife shuddered in his arms as the healing energy washed through her, then relaxed and snuggled even closer.
"Mm, that feels nice," she murmured. "Thank you." Aoife lifted her head enough to look into Aidan's eyes. "Your bodyguards are probably panicking by now. We've been gone for hours."
Aidan smirked at Aoife and tapped her nose. "Not unless they're complete idiots. I have a pair of elementals with me at all times; they're circling this building at the moment. All Ruari and his crew have to do is look up." Seeing her face fall, Aidan hastened to add, "It's got nothing to do with you, kitten. The only time I don't have them with me is when I'm in my personal quarters."
Aoife nodded and let her head drop back to his chest. "Okay."
Aidan trailed his fingers through Aoife's hair and up and down her spine. "You do bring up a good point," he said. "I've spent a lot of time with you today. I don't regret any of it, but alas, my time is not entirely my own. I need to visit my Chancellor, Ailis, and that'll take a couple of hours. I'd like it if you would join Brighid and me for dinner tonight, though."
"Okay," she agreed again. "I don't know that I can walk all the way back, though. You wore me out. And you tore all my clothes, you beast."
"Not all of them," Aidan responded with a smirk. "I still have your panties."
"Hmm. Those don't count; I gave them to you, so they're yours now."
"Well, how about I loan them back to you? Unless you want me to carry you through the backstreets of my city entirely naked, of course. Then again, if I do that, I can't be held accountable for what I do at the end of the trip."
"Hmm," Aoife repeated, but there was a deeper note in her voice, and she wiggled atop him. "That sounds interesting, but can I take a rain check? I think I'm out of commission for the rest of the day, even with your healing."
"Of course," came Aidan's immediate assurance. "I'm still embarrassed that you managed to goad me into being as forceful as I was. I'd never do anything like that against your will."
"Don't be," Aoife said with a yawn. "I told you, you did exactly what I wanted. If you'd stopped to ask if I was okay with it, you would have ruined everything."
"Fair enough. Are you ready to go?"
"Hmm. You said you'd carry me?"
"I think I can manage it."
"Okay." Despite her agreement, Aoife made no move to get up off Aidan's chest.
"You have to get up before we can leave, you know," Aidan teased her.
"But you're comfy." Aoife's arms tightened a fraction.
"There are great big piles of cushions for you to nap in at home, and Brighid's eager to meet you. I know you'll like her. You can spend some time getting to know each other while I work with Ailis."
"Fiiiiine," Aoife sighed. She leveraged herself into a sitting position astride his hips, then arched her back, linked her hands over her head, and stretched. Despite himself, Aidan's eyes focused on the display that action made of her bared breasts.
"Down, boy," Aoife murmured, wiggling her bottom against his resurgent erection. Her hands dropped back down to his chest, and she leaned forward to give him a long, slow, tender kiss. "Clothes, please?"
Aidan pulled her panties out of his pocket, then reached into his nearby handy haversack and fetched one of his shirts; he always kept a couple changes of clothes on him just in case he died again. Aoife gave him a grateful smile, sniffed the shirt, then shimmied into it and stood up.
"Hmm," she said, looking down at herself. "This is pretty big on me. Here, you can have these back." Aidan had to fight back the urge to pull her back down and take her again as he watched Aoife step out of her panties and drop them on his abs.
"You're playing with fire," he told her, unable to keep a slight growl from his voice.
"Less growling, more dressing and carrying. Come on, chop-chop!" Aoife sat down on the ground beside him, leaning back on her hands and not bothering to block Aidan's view between her thighs.
"You're still testing me, aren't you?" Aidan grumbled as he sat up and started to pull on his own clothes. These pants are an utter pain to put on when I'm hard!
"Yep!" Aoife agreed. "Sorry, not sorry. You're just going to have to deal with it for now. My heart wants to trust you, but my brain is still a bit paranoid."
"All I ask is that you talk to me when I slip up. I'm sure it'll happen at some point."
Aoife nodded, then stretched her arms up toward him like a little kid. With a chuckle and a shake of his head, Aidan squatted down, hooked his right arm beneath Aoife's knees and his left around her back, then stood back up. Aoife wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled her head against his shoulder, then let out a soft, contented sigh.
Aoife weighed more than Aidan expected, given her height, but he wasn't about to complain as he felt her breathing even out and her mind descend into a drowsy haze. Peace and tranquility flowed from her for the first time, and he knew that, if it came down to it, he'd carry her in circles around the whole city if that's what it took to make those emotions take root.
Aidan's current status screen:
Pronunciation Guide (infinitesimal spoiler warning, names only without any details)
Special thanks to Cenomy, Orange, and Lupus for their exceptional support on Patreon!
Patreon
Amazing chapter. I made an account (long-time lurker) because I really needed to say so.
Aioofuh. Eyoofe. Ai - the woman. Her character felt so real and alive, and I was really swept up in my reaction to her thoughts and decisions. In the previous chapter, it was set up that she was frustrated by the previous owner of her collar and how he was always making implications of his intentions when he spoke to her. This meant that she decided to engage on that level with him, feeling that she had to as she had no real power in their relationship. Now, she has entered into a new relationship with Aidan.
I don't know much in the way of the theory behind relationship dynamics, but the way she is written to approach creating a better relationship than her old one just feels so, so very authentic to my understanding of how women operate. She wants less 'subtlety' for once, so she engages in a game to see how Aidan will react. She wanted emotionally-driven and unambiguous action. I am sitting here frustrated out of my mind because I still find her to be acting very subtly; she could have tried to engage in a conversation where she explicitly stated what she wanted. This frustration I have I experience a lot around the women in my life, so it is familiar and something I regularly associate with women which has me recognising her as a woman on a deep, emotional level.
I think it is amazing that you have been able to understand this dynamic so well as to be able to reproduce and repurpose it in writing.
I do think that, towards the end of their animalistic, primal encounter, when Aidan waxes lyrical about how he wants her, it fits with his character but doesn't fit with what she was trying to coax out from him (she wanted him not to be too 'cerebral') or the situation. He 'needs' to tell her that he wants to 'cry with her'? This might feel more authentic in a more romantic encounter. It is true to Aidan normally, but this comes across as another 'kind' interaction, the kind Aiofe did not want.
I feel uncomfortable leaving this on a low note, so let me just say again that this was amazing and you are a far better writer of fiction than I am. Colloquially, we'd call this comment a sh*t sandwich (good-bad-good). Peace.
That's a fair criticism. I'll add it to the list of things to revise when I get the time to do a revision pass.
She'd had toys this big, but rubber was a pale, distant substitute for hot, hard flesh.
She understood the appeal of surrendering control to someone else, of letting go of the steering wheel, but no, it was the clarity and purity of intent that her overstressed mind craved.
Something about you makes me want to hold you and protect you and lift you up until you achieve your dreams
She's Eve, isn't she? Even the names are simiilar.
I doubt it, the story doesn't have the tag, and eve herself rejected being into that in the qna but I'd be pleasantly surprised.
@Zurai Rubber is a very modern invention so that first sentence he quoted struck out at me too. Now, we are in a fantasy world with dungeons and unusual materials, so it's possible they found another way to make rubber, but until that's made clear it gives a weirdly modern feel in the middle of a primal scene.
The changing points of view were well done and felt organic... Enough so that the line break and name insertion at the beginning of each one was a little jarring in some cases.
Might just be me.
I think the way you did the rapid change of view worked well for this chapter. I honestly saw no problem with how it was done, not that I would want that style every chapter.
I'm still wondering when is Aidan every going to use the Balance on the Knife's Edge ability? I can see it being used in his more dominate sexcapades likely with Brigit and eventually the other girls.
Thank you for the chapter!
PARKOUR!
thanks for the chappie