The weekend passed by both at a snail's pace and in the blink of an eye. Around Saturday evening, Lily's mom came to the motel. She explained that Lily's dad was arrested for a slew of things, including threatening us. A policeman stopped by and asked the Sadie, Kai, and me a few questions, but nothing extensive. He sat down with Lily for a while privately. Afterward, she made it clear she was okay, and with her mom there, we figured it would be alright to let her be. The three of us headed to our respective homes.

From the second I walked in the door, my parents grilled me (in more intimate detail than even the police) about what went down and was everyone okay. I assured them that while scared and shaken up, we were all fine.

On Sunday I just meandered about at home, and then made a little progress on my school work. I spent a lot of time just sitting in thought. What drove me to kiss Ross, blow up at Megan, everything? After the intensity of Friday and even Saturday, it felt petty.

By Monday things were starting to click. After the impressive week I'd had, I was beginning to put things into perspective. Lily's mom had called the school to fill them in on what had happened over the weekend and to say that Lily wouldn't be coming on Monday.

Rumors of what had gone down were slowly moving around the school, and occasionally the story had gotten so warped that people would approach me and begin to tell the story, unaware that I was directly involved. I would just catch whispered conversations and small amounts of chatter. In some weird way, I figured that this must have been what it was like after the school found out about my condition. It was almost disconcerting.

After my Sunday think-session, I had made up my mind to start to mend my relationships that I'd spent the last week tearing down. First on the list: Megan.

Before class started I made my way over to her locker. She was clearly tentative upon seeing me approach.

"Before you head to class, I'd like to say something," I said matter-of-factly. She gave me an impatient look, but she didn't leave.

"I blew up at you last week. This is still really new to me, and you're one of the few people I feel like best understands what's going on. Anyway, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry." I let the apology hang in the air for a second or two to gauge her reaction. She was still giving me a suspicious look, but I could swear it had softened ever so slightly. At that point, I'd said my piece and I walked off to class. Some part of me had hoped for an immediate forgiving session, but I knew this would all take time.

In homeroom, Kai and I talked a bit. We weren't back to 100%, but we were both making a clear effort to improve things. Classes dragged by, and my stomach was starting growl. At lunch, I sat down in the usual spot, solo. I didn't expect much, but Kai sat down soon after. Then it wasn't long before Sadie sat in her spot next to Kai and I let out a tired but happy smile.

After school, I sped home and changed into my uniform. I was really dreading talking to Ross, but after my resolution to repair my relationships, I was determined. Naturally, it left me a bit downtrodden when I didn't see him working. During my break, I glanced at the schedule and it turned out that he had booked shifts almost exclusively around avoiding me, except for Thursday. That hit me pretty hard. Ross had always been a beacon of positive energy, especially on days where I was not. To see that I'd done enough to literally make him avoid me... It wasn't a good feeling. My shift was altogether uneventful and on the boring side. I did, however, still had a little bit of left-over uneasiness that a random customer might break down and threaten or hurt me.

I trudged through the week with a determined fervor. I did my best to bottle up my anxieties and take it out on my school work.

On Tuesday, the gang got to school extra early. We'd planned on walking Lily to classes and keeping the more annoying of our fellow students out of her hair. Again, it was surreal to participate in this, but on the flip side of what had been done for me just a few months ago. She got a few strange looks, but nobody had the gall to say anything to her directly, other than a few sympathetic people like Ryan.

As a group, things were rocky but improving. That's not to say that things were perfect. I honestly felt like Lily was forgiving me faster than Sadie, who still avoided me one-on-one. At lunch, she refused to make eye contact with me. The upside was that she was warming back up to Kai much faster than she was to me.

After work, I would power through the homework that I had, but after that, I just tried to kill time. I wasn't used to being alone as much as I was.

As the week was moving by, Thursday was the big day. I spent much of my spare time playing over conversations in my head, trying to figure how best to apologize. And come work on Thursday, I still felt wholly unprepared.

Ross started his shift a bit later than I did, but he gave me a half-smile when he walked in. Whether he hated me or not, Ross was still the gentleman.

Part of me wanted to shoot my price gun in his direction and give back some of the overflowing positivity that he'd always given me, but that might come off as insensitive. I gave him a small wave back and decided to talk to him after the shift ended.

Since I finished before him, he couldn't sneak out on me. I waited next to his truck during the minutes between my shift ending and his, doing some last-minute apology prep. I spotted him walking out of the store and walked up to him.

"Ross--" I was about to start my rehearsed speech but he cut me off.

"Amelia... Please."

"Ross, I--"

"Stop. I'm... I'm not ready for this right now. I don't know what's been up with you lately, and I hope everything's worked out, but..."

"I'm sorry--" I tried to cut in.

He looked me dead in the eye, "Amelia, sometimes sorry isn't good enough." Then brushed past me, and got in his truck. He pulled out of the parking lot, me still standing in the middle of it.

I biked back and collapsed on my bed. It was difficult, wanting and trying to fix all the situations I'd gotten myself into and not having them wrap themselves up when I wanted them to. Rationally I knew that it wouldn't be easy, that I'd really hurt people and that it'd take time, but it hadn't hit home until now. In my head, since I was the one who messed it all up, I would be the one to fix it... Guess it wasn't working out that way. Maybe I couldn't get things back to normal.

Throughout all of my self-pity and absorption, my phone dinged. I dashed for it immediately hoping it might be Megan or Ross. I was surprised when instead it was Kai.

It read, "I know that normal Friday game nights are out of the question... but do you wanna hang out? Just us?"

I was quick to send back, "Yes!"

Kai and I knocked out the details during homeroom the next day and met up after classes. There wasn't all that much "to do", but we mostly just walked around aimlessly. We stopped in for some snacks and then chatted over chips and chocolate bars. Before we'd hung out as a group, this is how Kai and I would spend most of our Fridays. Maybe there was some hope of returning to normal after all. Or at least a version of normal.

The conversation wandered, with a few awkward silences when the topic petered out.

I navigated my way towards the hard stuff, "How have you been doing this week? Really?"

Kai took a moment to swallow his mouthful of chips and compose his thoughts.

"As good as I could be, I guess."

I nodded understandingly. Then a thought popped into my head.

"Hey! There was something you wanted to tell me a few weeks ago. Before, you kinda... went silent on us."

For a moment I saw him grimace, but he quickly attempted to snap back.

"Um... It’s probably no longer relevant." He was clearly shy about it, but I felt like testing my luck.

"Kai, come on... If anything, all that's happened recently should make you put things in perspective. I'm all ears buddy, I swear."

"Well..." he was dragging it out, and it was getting next painful. "I... I'm..."

"Just say it!" I yelled, but without really yelling.

"I think I like Sadie."

Now it was my turn to take moment.

"Huh..." was all I let out for a while. I did my best to visibly think it over, trying to pull as much comedic value out of the situation that I could.

Most of me was happy for him, especially that he finally told someone. I wondered how long he'd felt that way. How hard it must've been watching her date every guy she could get her hands on, except him.

Some smaller, but still loud part of me was upset. This is what you isolated yourself over? You weren't there for me, or any of us... because you just couldn't tell even me, all-time best friend how you felt about... about a girl? I did my best to mask the pang of betrayal with humor and hoped he didn't see through me.

"That's it?" I finally got out.

"It’s a big deal okay!"

"Alright! I believe you, I believe you."

There was a good moment of pause. He was still trying to gauge my reaction and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.

"Well. I think you should go for it."

He looked at me like I had turned into a clown.

"Just like that?"

I nodded, "Just like that."

He seemed surprised and taken aback, but underneath it, all was a glow I'd not seen from him in a while.

"I mean, she probably needs a bit more time to process all that's happened... But I think you'd be crazy to let her slip away."

Now he was really beaming. I was taking in the moment when my phone buzzed from my back pocket.

It was from Megan, "Jitters. Tomorrow. 10am?"

"I'll be there," I sent back.

Kai gave me a look to see if the text applied to him.

I shook my head, "From Megan."

"Ah... How are you two these days? You hit it off and then..."

"You'd know if you'd been there for me when I needed you," a part of me thought. I pushed it down. I couldn't be trying to apologize to people and then disregard the biggest move that someone else had made towards fixing their relationship with me.

"We didn't always see eye to eye. Hopefully trying to remedy that." Wanting to push the conversation back to the lighter things we'd gotten accomplished I pivoted, "So like... do you love her?"

He blushed ever so slightly.

"You do!" I had a good laugh at his expense. For the rest of the evening, the two of us were palling around as though everything that had happened recently, everything in the last year, wasn't important. And I was more than happy to have my best friend back.