Chapter 27 – End of the Year
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The next morning was a rough one. I'd never had a hangover before, and it felt different than it always looked on TV. I wasn't as hyper-sensitive to everything, so much as I just really wanted to throw up. Those of us that had stayed over where invited to a group breakfast at the nearby diner. I really didn't feel like food, but I figured I needed to be out and about a little before heading home, so that I wouldn't look like a complete wreck in front of my parents.

I used Sunday to recover, and do some more thinking. As nice as the previous night had been, there were still a lot of loose ends. I hadn't said but a few drunken words to Ross, and while Lily and I had really reconnected, I was anxious. I didn't know if once she was sober, things might change. Sadie popped into my head, and I knew that she would disapprove of us getting back together. As we walked downtown to the diner, Lily's hand found its way into mine, and that bit of nervousness subsided.

Come school on Monday, we were all back at it. The gang sat together in the auditorium, and chummed it up.

I could have sworn I saw Ross standing at Megan's locker, the two of them having a gold old chat, before I rushed to homeroom. Lily sat next to me at lunch, just like we used to. Sadie was as per the new usual, refusing to acknowledge my presence. It had gotten worse upon her hearing that Lily and I were officially back together.

I knew what it looked like from her perspective. I had been repeatedly unfaithful and unsupportive. She viewed me as the bad-boy that Lily kept coming back too. I understood her logic, and partially agreed, but that didn't mean I liked it.

That night, Lily and I fully discussed (sober) my college decision. She kept at the position she'd had on Saturday. It left me in an odd happy, sad mood. I was obviously not amazed with the idea of inevitably parting with Lily, but happy that she had let me make the decision. I told my parents that night, and we had a small acceptance celebration.

Spring came in full force, as the weather heated up. As my transition had happened in fall and then winter, I wasn't wholly accustomed to wearing what passed for shorts. The lack of pockets, combined with the insane length (or rather lack there of ) took some getting used to. Ravenwood, had a relaxed dress code, but I was a bit thankful for the length limit on clothes. (Even if I disagreed with it from an equality perspective).

Since my conversation with him, Kai had made an increasing effort to spend time with Sadie in a more one-on-one setting. They were getting even friendlier than they had previously been, and that was saying something.

In the days after the Valentines party, I noticed Ross spending a lot more time in the upperclassman's neck of the woods. We greeted each other casually, but I was fairly confident I knew why he was making the extra effort... and she had a locker not far from mine.

Finals were slowly creeping up, and even though I was a second term senior, admittance to Westchester was contingent on maintaining my grades through to the end of the year. The end of the year also meant the final school dance, and I was much more focused on my schoolwork than most of my classmates. But that didn't mean I wasn't still planning something.

Time before the dance was slowly closing. Kai had begun planning every detail of how he would ask Sadie, and was itching to spring into action.

Friday night, the gang was playing Catan at my place, as was tradition. I rolled the dice, hoping that I would get an eight, allowing me to get the wheat needed to purchase my final settlement and win the game. It came up a three, and Lily won after the next roll. We all groaned, as this had been an intense four-way fight for the win, throughout the entire game. We cleaned up the board, and Sadie made her way towards the front the door. Kai had a nervous look on his face, but I gave him a wide smile and indicated over to her. He took a deep breath, stood up, and made his way over.

I gave Lily a nudge and we did our best to view the exchange through a window in my room, but it was tricky at times to go unseen. We could hear Kai's muffled voice, and saw him pull out a worn piece of paper. Sadie was silent for a moment before there was an eruption of excited squeals (mostly from Kai). At that point Lily and I backed away from the window, but I was confident Sadie had gone in for the kiss.

I was more than happy for the two of them. My differences with Sadie made it all little worrisome that I might lose Kai too, but I pushed those thoughts deep.

At school the following Monday, I looked around for Megan, as she usually stopped by before homeroom. I spotted her at the end of the hall and started to give her a wave. As I raised my hand, I saw that Ross was with her, the two of them holding hands as they made their way down the hallway. I relaxed, and let out a content smile. I was actually and truly happy they had found each other, in some small part due to me.

Everyone was coupling off, and amid my studying for finals I was having a difficult time planning how I would ask Lily. It was a given that we would go together, but that didn't mean I was going to skip on the execution.

I called in the troops to help plan. After school on a day I had off from work Kai, Megan, Sadie, and I planned the perfect "promposal". Kai brought Sadie along, which I was fine with if she was. Pretty soon we had hammered out the details.

Friday was an interesting affair. For nearly the past two years (if not more from before we were officially dating), Lily and I had been the group couple. Kai and Sadie had learned to work with it, and maintain the regular group dynamic. Sadie had always been rotating guys, but none had ever gone far enough to get invited to game night more than once. And Kai's seeming lack of interest in other girls but now apparent interest in Sadie, meant that he'd never been one to introduce new people (except ironically, Lily). Now it was our turn to be on the flip side.

Sadie and Kai were as all over each other as they could get in the company of others. Sadie would blow on Kai's dice before every roll, kisses for good roles, and flirtiness all throughout. Lily and I shared many an eye roll moment. Both of them seemed inordinately happy, which was hard not to rub off on us a bit.

After the game ended and the new couple made an exit for their car, I pulled Lily aside to do step one of the big ask.

"Hey... So, date night tomorrow?" I asked nervously. If she was busy, then I'd have to reschedule the things I'd planned for the finale.

"No way! I was gonna ask you the same thing."

"So I take it that's a yes?"

She leaned in an planted a kiss on my cheek. "See you here at 6."

She left and I let out a sigh of relief that the timing was all fitting into place.

The next evening Lily pulled up to my house. She looked amazing, and I suddenly doubted my own attire. I had gone for a nice shirt, blazer, and tight jeans. She smiled when I walked out of the house.

"You look cute. Where are we headed?" she asked.

I gave her a knowing smile. Phase one of the evening was a recreation of our first date, so we were headed to the restaurant Meca of board games. Dinner was great. As she did our first time here, Lily smoked me in a two-player strategy game. We finished up after just over an hour, which fit into the schedule perfectly.

We walked over to her car and from the trunk, produced a beautiful bouquet similar to the one that I gave her when I first asked her out. I took them astonished, and she ushered me into the car.

"Come on, I've got something to show you," she said as I got inside.

I started to panic. This was throwing off my entire time table. I had the entire gang waiting at a specific spot with signs and everything. I didn't know where we were going or how long this was going to take, nor did I anticipate her one-upping me like this, (although I should have seen it coming after she also wanted to ask me to dinner tonight).

We kept driving for a bit, slowly working closer and closer to the spot I'd arranged for us to stop. This had both more worried and a bit comforted. Slowly we pulled up at the overlook, where we'd gone after our first dance together. Everything was weirding me out, as she had taken me to the exact spot that I'd already picked. The gang was hiding nearby and would spring out before long. I was worried that they might interrupt whatever it was she wanted to show me.

"Lily, I need to tell you something."

"Just a sec, we're almost there," she said as were exiting the car and walking even closer to the hideout spot.

"Lily, it’s kind of importan--"

"One more second--"

We arrived to almost the precise spot that I'd planned for us to be.

"Lily its--"

"Shhhh... Guys, come on out!"

My eyes went wide as I slowly started to process her words. Then I heard happy yells of surprise surround us! I put my head in my hands laughing.

"What's wrong? Did I--" she started.

I cut her off, "This... is uh... what was so important."

We both looked around. Sadie and Kai were holding up one sign that said, "Amelia will you go to the dance with me?" Holding another sign that said "Lily will you be my date to the dance?" was Ryan and Megan.

"You both came to us with the same idea, and we didn't know what to do about the signage, so we just made both..." Kai said with a grin.

Lily and I broke into laughter. Never once had this crossed my mind as a way this night would go down. I looked at the faces of my friends, catching each one of their eyes. Each gave me a reassuring smile. My eyes met Sadie's and she gave me a neutral look. But she soon broke into a small approving smile and nodded subtly.

Megan groaned in pho-annoyance, "So... what’s the answer gonna be?"

 I looked at Lily and the two of us caught our breath between happy yet awkward laughter. We smiled into each other’s eyes before saying, "Yes," in unison. There were cheers from our small crowd. The two of us shared a short kiss before turning to the gang and joking (yet again in unison), "You guys are worst!"

All of us took some time sitting at the edge of the overlook, just taking in the scenery. Before long, Megan peeled off, as did Ryan. Eventually Sadie and Kai headed back as well. Lily and I sat there, my head on her shoulder for ages.

Another few weeks went by, and all of the excitement about the dance was overshadowed by the looming entity that was finals.

I had taken to practically locking myself in my room studying. Only Lily and my mother were able to get me out to eat. After an intense and grueling week, I dropped the pencil like it was a mic during my last exam and walked out feeling like I'd slain a dragon. It was helpful that the next evening was the final spring dance. Our last hurrah at being normal high schoolers.

My mom had pushed and pushed forever to get me to go dress shopping with her for the dance. I had used finals as my excuse, and she'd begrudgingly accepted it, but now that finals were over, she was all in. I knew rationally that dress shopping the day before the event was... not how things typically went. Even after almost 8 months, it was one final hurdle I'd yet to jump.

If someone walked up and told me that I could be a guy again... I would decline. It wasn't that I thought being a girl was somehow more fulfilling or better. During my entire life beforehand, I'd never thought that about being a guy. Being a girl was just who I was, and it seemed ridiculous to change that (as much before my transition as now).

All of that being said, dresses still had me twisting my stomach into knots. In my mind, there was nothing more feminine than a dress and heels. And to be fair, I knew that a good many cis-girls exist in this world who share my reticence for that sort of clothing. In all honesty, I had yet to find out truly if it was my thing or not, until I tried one on.

Seeing as I had no clue where to start we just hit up the local department stores. My mom tended to jump on the most feminine looking dresses (that somehow also showed the most cleavage), while I tended towards the more reserved end of the spectrum. We had made it through almost every store with no luck. We hit up the goodwill for kicks. Immediately, Mom started piling up. I aimlessly sifted through, nothing catching my eye. That is until I caught a glimpse of something bright out of the corner of my eye. I pulled it off the rack, looked it up and down and ran into the fitting rooms to try it on.

It fit like a dream. It hugged me in all the right places, but wasn't too tight. It was feminine, but didn't show off more than I could handle. I stepped out of the room to check how it looked in the mirror.

The dress started at my collar bone, met at my waist, and then spread out, ending just above my ankles. The best part, was it was bright yellow, the same color as the romper I'd worn to Sarah's going away party.

"Wow!" I whirled around to see my mother shocked. A few small tears ran down her face as she rushed over and hugged me. After honestly several minutes she began to kinda crush me.

"Mom..." she let go, smiling bright.

One of the best parts about goodwill was that the dress didn't cost nearly as much as it would have at the regular department stores. Once I'd settled on the dress, finding some heels wasn't hard. Of course, wearing them was a whole separate issue.

Saturday was nothing but prep. I went through the entire routine. One of the upsides to curly hair was that on those rare occasions where I did put in 100% effort, it still wasn't as much compared to everyone else as everything just kinda falls into place after a shower and the right product. I did and re-did my makeup a few times before settling on something I liked. I was ready just in time for the doorbell that meant Lily had arrived. I took a deep breath, smoothed my dress, and did my best to conquer the 3.5" heels as I made my way to the door.

My dad had beaten me to it, and was welcoming Lily and her mom inside. Now... when most people refer to someone as a knock-out they don't mean it literally. When I saw Lily, it took every muscle and fiber of my body to stay with it. She looked out of this world. The dress was magenta at the top and faded to a soft blue at her waist, sprinkling magenta highlights throughout the lower section. It had two thin straps at her shoulders and ended an inch or so below her collar bone.

It took me a second to regain my ability to function, and I quickly hurried for the corsage. It was in two parts. I'd gotten a more classic corsage, but I had attached it to a bracelet I'd made. It was braided twine, with a settlers of Catan house piece as the charm. I rushed back, and nearly tripped, silently cursing the existence of heels.

She held her hand out for me to slip it on. Her eyes went wide and a smile spread across her face, when she saw the Catan charm. She then held out the corsage that she had apparently gotten me. For whatever reason it hadn't really crossed my mind that I would wear one, as I hadn't ever worn one before. She sensed my moment of apprehension, but I quickly accepted it.

What proceeded was nothing short of painful for the two us. My parents and Lily's mom proceeded to utter an unbelievable amount of "Awwws".  We took a variety of standard dance pictures, and some fun ones. Eventually Lily and I got into her mom's car and we headed for the dance.

Once we arrived the two of us began piling out of the car.

Lily's mom spoke up, "Lily, do you mind if I have a word with Amelia?"

Lily looked over at me. I shrugged and gave a small nod.

"Sure, but make it quick mom."

I sat back down and waited. Her mom turned to me.

"Amelia, I'd just... I'd like to apologize for what you've been through and thank you for sticking by her side. It's been a rough year for all of us, and I'm glad that Lily's had you as friend."

Guilt came at me from all directions. In no way did I feel worthy of this. I was happy she was saying it, and I was happy for the part I had played in making things better, but it was still dwarfed by all that I'd done wrong.

"Uh... Thanks." I said, trying to put on my best smile to mask how I was feeling inside.

Lily knocked on the window, indicating we were taking a while.

"Alright, I'll let you get to it." she said, and I hopped out. "Be safe you two!" she said as she drove away.

Lily turned to me and asked, "What was that about?"

"She... Uh... She said that I'm lucky to have you."

She gave me an unconvinced look, but decided to drop it as we headed inside.

Blaring music assaulted my ears the closer we got. Ms. Hudson was acting as the bouncer, and she smiled at two of us as we walked in.

Immediately I began scanning for people I knew. I saw Megan and Ross dancing towards the center of the dance floor, and Kai and Sadie kicking dance butt off to the side. I looked over everything and took a deep breath. I wanted to remember this forever.

In that moment, I felt like nothing other than your average high school girl. And I loved it.

Lily turned to me, took me by the hand, and pulled me towards the dance. I smiled, and followed her in.

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