Every word that left Chloe's mouth caused my heart to beat faster and more aggressively than the last. Every heartbeat just brought more pain... why am I feeling this way?
"Wow! Her performance was amazing," Lillie said.
My eyes opened wide as I was reminded of who I am here with currently. My lips are locked together tightly, not allowing me to speak... why am I doing this to Lillie? She does not deserve to be here with a piece of shit like me.
"H- Hey... I'm gonna get a drink... I'm feeling a bit thirsty,"
I finally managed to get words to leave my mouth. As I walked away, I could feel bolts of sweat racing down my face, my body shaking, and my eyes starting to burn.
" I'll come with you."
"NO!"
"Huh... R-Robby?"
"Sorry... I just need to be alone for a while."
The fearful and confused look on Lillie's face began making me feel like an insufferable jerk. I slowed my breathing down and tried my best to stop the shaking in my hands. I walked towards her and gently held her right hand with both of my hands.
"I just need some fresh air. I'll grab drinks for both of us, and we'll meet up on the roof of the school. You can wait up there for me."
"Won't it be locked?"
"The teachers just say that to keep students from opening the door, it's never actually locked."
"Alright, I guess... bring me something orange-flavored, okay."
"Orange soda it is."
I quickly dashed through the crowd of people to get to the soda bar. It seems like Harry and Olivia left early; what an asshole, that guy was supposed to be my ride home.
"Hey, Robby!"
"Huh?"
This voice behind me, please let this be my imagination. I turned around to realize that this is not my head playing tricks on me. Standing in front of me right now is no other than Chloe, along with a crowd behind her.
"I didn't expect to see you here tonight," Chloe said.
"Why are you talking to me?"
"Come on, can't I just come by to say hi to an old friend?"
"I'm not sure who's this 'friend' you're talking about, but it's definitely not me, so get lost."
Son of a bitch! My heart rate is speeding up, and I'm starting to shake again. I have to end this conversation quickly before it becomes too noticeable.
"Robby, I couldn't help but notice that you are here with a girl."
"Why do you care?"
"This one is different from the one you were with at the beginning of the school year when I bumped into you."
"What of it? Are you jealous or something?"
"Yes."
"H- Huh...?"
What is going on here? Is she messing with me? If that is what's happening, then why is she glowing bright red and fidgeting.
"This is kinda embarrassing to talk about with people around. Let's go somewhere more private."
She grabbed me by my hand and began leading me somewhere. Her hand is so tiny; I can feel her hand shaking just as much as mine. This warmth is something I haven't felt in a while... wait a second, what am I doing?
"I have somewhere to be."
I yanked my hand from her grasp before running into the crowd so that she would not see the direction I went.
"Wait, Robby..."
I heard her call to me, but I continued running until I made it to the staircase to the roof. I took a break before opening the door to catch my breath and fix my tie. The old rusty door made quite a bit of noise as I opened it. There she is... Lillie on a bench, trying to keep herself warm while staring at the cloudy night sky and snowfall. I snuck up next to her while taking my jacket off and gently put it around her shoulders.
"Huh? Robby... where are the drinks?"
"The line was kinda long, and I didn't want you waiting up here in the cold by yourself."
"That sucks. I was actually starting to get kinda thirsty."
As I watched Lillie breathe into her palms to warm her hands, I started to realize that I didn't deserve to be here with her tonight. I've spent most of the night thinking about Chloe and nearly gave into temptations. I don't want to be thinking about Chloe, but I also can't help myself.
"Are you okay, Robby?" Lillie asked.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"It just looks like something has been bothering you."
"I'm okay... it's nothing important. I was just feeling a bit down."
"That is important! I don't want you feeling down."
"Why are you getting so serious about this?"
"I want you to know I'll always be by your side, ready to help you with any of your problems. I want you to be able to rely on me."
"L-Lillie."
Before I knew it, I had my hands on Lillie's shoulders. I slowly leaned in until I saw Lillie close her eyes and push her lips out; for a second, I saw Chloe instead of Lillie, so I followed all the way through. Her warm lips quickly made me forget that we were outside in like 4 degrees. The taste of her lipgloss lured my tongue into her mouth, my right hand instinctively slid onto her breast and began squeezing.
"Mmmm-mm... R-Robby..." Lillie Moaned
Lillie eventually fell on her back, and I was on top of her. I could tell that this was probably her first kiss since she isn't that good. I slid my hands under her skirt, but as my hands touched her panties, I felt her grab my hand.
"N-not yet," Lillie whispered.
"What? I didn't hear you clearly."
"I really wanna do it with you too, but this is just moving too quick."
I got off of Lillie and tried to quickly get my boner down so that she doesn't notice it begging to leave my pants.
"I'm really sorry, I got carried away."
"I-it's okay... I'm glad I was able to get you excited."
"Why is that a surprise? Any guy would react the same way."
"I don't care about other guys. I... j-just care about y-you."
I really am an asshole. Lillie has been thinking about me and only me for the entire night while all my attention was directed towards Chloe. Even just now, I'm pretty sure Chloe crossed my mind while I was kissing her.
"You're really red right now," I said.
"I-it's probably just the cold... yeah, that's it"
"We should probably head down. The night is almost over."
Lillie and I walked down to the front of the school to wait for her dad; eventually, she spotted her dad's car driving in the distance.
"That's him driving towards us. You sure you don't want a ride back to your place?" Lillie asked.
"I'll be fine. I just want you to get home safely as soon as possible."
I felt Lillie's lips on my cheek a final time before the car pulled up in front of us.
"I had an amazing time. Thank you, Robby."
She got into the car and continued waving at me while the car drove off. I took a final deep breath and released the cold air from my lungs. I covered my face as I noticed the tears of my mistakes from this night.
"Sorry... I am so sorry, Lillie."