It had started out as a job like any other. I was tasked with breaking into a small temple, stealing a ritual chalice, and sneaking back out undetected. Simple enough. I’d been on many jobs before just like this one. Of course, there were many details my buyer didn’t tell me about my mission. What exactly the chalice was for and why they needed this one in particular, just to name a couple. But that wasn’t any of my business. My job was to take the chalice and not ask too many questions, and that was just fine by me.

    Infiltrating the temple had been deceptively easy, even for a thief of my renown. Deciding to play it safe, I snuck in through the back. I leapt deftly from foothold to foothold as I scaled the rear wall, eventually making it up to the roof where I could finally catch my breath. I took a moment to survey the courtyard below. Predictably, there was no guard posted. A religious order this small probably couldn’t even afford one.

    I hopped down from my high vantage point into the courtyard below, my enchanted greaves stifling the sound of my fall. Before me I could see the temple’s imposing front gate, and just beneath it slept a rather large dragonkin woman. Thank goodness I didn’t come in from the front, being caught by a titan like that would have been a disaster. To either side of her were the many rooms I assumed housed the other followers. All the lights were off, and the residents were asleep. Perfect. I finally turned to the cellar door behind me.

    I pried it open and began to descend the stairs. According to my mission briefing, the chalice would be somewhere down here, housed in a worship room of some kind. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, however, I was greeted by only a small antechamber. It didn’t seem to contain anything of note, just a body mirror and a small shoe rack with a sign that read “please no shoes on the carpet.” Just beyond that was the doorway to what I could only assume was the real worship chamber. I took a moment to check myself out in the mirror.

    I was tall for an elf, standing just a bit higher than the average male human. Juxtaposed with my wiry frame, it made me look especially delicate. Some would even say effeminate, but I didn’t mind. It was even a bit flattering, to be honest. My auburn hair was styled back into a long braid that snaked its way under my shirt collar and down my back. I took great pride in my beautiful locks, keeping a hand mirror and styling brush on my person at all times. It framed my handsome face very well, making my sharp brows and piercing green eyes stand out. My thin lips shined with fruity lip balm. It was the dry season, don’t judge me.

    Having made sure I looked pretty enough for nobody in particular, I casually strolled over to the worship chamber, only for my feet to stop dead in their tracks and the rest of me to go careening forward with an embarrassing yelp. Thankfully, I landed harmlessly on the room’s soft carpeting, but suffice to say I was rattled. I knew I didn’t feel any tripwire, so it had to be… a hex. Drat.

    “You forgot to take off your shoes, silly,” a young woman’s voice echoed from deep within the chamber. “If you go wearing those gaudy things in here you’ll track mud all over the clean carpet.”

    My heart began to race. Idiot! I scolded myself. You should have known a temple of all places would have magical protection. Magic had always been a blind spot for me. I relied too heavily on my elven darkvision, forgetting to check for the things my eyes couldn’t see. That was starting to look like the last mistake I would ever make.

    “I never said you couldn’t come in,” the same voice teased. “Just don’t come tracking dirt around. Come here.” As soon as she said this, I felt my body lift gently off the ground and come floating slowly into the worship chamber.

    Now that I was inside, I could see that the chamber was massive. It was about as wide as the courtyard above, and the ceiling must have been twice my height or more. The same soft woolen carpeting covered the entire floorspace. Various plush animal toys and fluffy cushions lay strewn haphazardly about the room. As I continued to drift slowly forward, I eventually came to an enormous pile of blankets in the middle of the room, where I suddenly felt the pull of gravity once again, and fell clumsily to the floor. Wait, shouldn’t my greaves have silenced my fall? I thought to myself. When I looked down, I was shocked to see that my expensive footwear had been transformed into mere fluffy slippers.

    Before I could think too long on that, something stirred under the blankets and a little head popped out. A catgirl. She had dazzling pink eyes, a pair of cute pink ears atop her head, and long pink hair that was styled into pigtails. “Hiya thief! Betcha didn’t expect someone like me to catch you sneaking around at this hour, huh? If only you’d taken those ugly shoes off, then my little hex wouldn’t have tripped you up. So whatcha come here to steal?”

    I was taken aback. This kind of sass from such a harmless looking interloper was unprecedented. Didn’t she know who she was messing with? I cleared my throat and spoke in an affected deep voice, “Do you think this is a game, pipsqueak? I’m a bad man, you shouldn’t mess with me.” I flashed the dagger in my belt for effect, but the catgirl only snickered.

    “Oh, goodness me,” she taunted. “A big, bad man with a knife! I’m shaking in my kneesocks! Don’t you know whose temple you’re in, dum-dum? I’m the goddess of cuteness! You should be begging for my forgiveness, mortal.”

    “Goddess of cuteness?” I barely managed not to burst out laughing. And to think I’d been worried. “That’s hilarious. What are you gonna do, cute me to death?”

    The catgirl’s eyes shimmered as they lit up with energy. An eager grin, bordering on unsettling, spread across her lips. The world around me slowed as I began to realize the weight of my mistake, my sheer hubris in the face of a power I couldn’t even begin to understand. Electricity crackled around the tiny goddess as she raised her petit fingers above her head in preparation. The next words out of her mouth, despite their bubbly tone, chilled me to my very core.

    “If you insist!”

    She snapped her fingers.

    I staggered as I felt raw divine energy pulse through my being. I felt myself shrinking, my body squeezing in on itself like I was being compressed from all sides at once. Perhaps even stranger was the feeling of my tailbone stretching outwards, breaking free of my rear and growing into a long, heavy tail. I lifted my hands to my face just in time to watch them shrink and morph into slender little pads. Only seconds later, a soft yellow nose forced its way into my field of vision. My nose, I realized. I brought my hands up to my… snout and felt that it was soft, but not fluffy. It was like touching an orange. I blinked in surprise, only to find myself unable to blink. With some effort, I managed to get my new eyes closed and open again. It wasn’t difficult, but I had to focus on doing it to be successful. Topping it all off, I felt the alien sensation of what I can only describe as my unmentionables being sucked into my body.

    I stumbled on my new digitigrade legs, struggling to stay upright. “What did- eep!” I squealed. My voice was entire octaves higher than I was used to. I sounded like, oh gods, I sounded like a girl! “My voice! What did you do to my voice? What did you do to me? Change me- eek!” I tripped on my former pants and went tumbling to the floor as the goddess cackled hysterically.

    “Oh my goodness, you’re adorable!” She gloated as she loomed over me. “Even I couldn’t have predicted you’d be such a little cutie pie! Grab my hand, cutie. I’ll help you up,”

    I refused her hand, instead scrambling away in a panic. I managed to kick the enormous pants off my legs and gather up the rest of my clothes as I tenuously stood up. I was so much shorter now. Staring up at the goddess, I must have been barely half my old height. Now my hooded shawl fit me more like a robe, and I could feel my long hair tickling my new tail.

    “What in Tartarus did you turn me into?” I squeaked. “Why do I have a tail? Am I some sort of… lizard? Merciful gods, are these breasts? Change me back! Change me back now!” I fumbled for my dagger, nearly dropping my entire toolbelt in the process. “Change me back or I’ll… or I’ll-”

    “Or you’ll what, my sweet little kobold?” the catgirl teased devilishly. “Cute me to death?”

    I wanted to protest, but she was right. I was completely harmless like this. I could hardly mug a child now, let alone take on a goddess.

    “Put the knife down, sweetie.” Now she spoke in a much gentler tone. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to help you through some things, then you can be on your little way.” I reluctantly dropped the now comically oversized blade. I didn’t exactly trust her, but what choice did I have at this point? I was already a three-foot-tall lizard person, so my situation didn’t have much room to get worse. “Now I’m sure you’re wondering why… wait are those panties?”

    We both looked down at the pair of frilly pink underwear that was sticking out of my former pants, then back at each other. I felt my cheeks burn as I blushed from ear to ear. After a few moments of the most awkward silence I’ve ever experienced before or since, I decided to turn tail and flee.