“So, this means you were Lenora the whole time?”
“No, no, no, no. This can’t…I can’t. I need to be alone for a moment.”
Once the implications of what had happened finally sink in, I slowly make my way to my bedroom. I close the door and walk over to the bed and fall down into it face first. The events that happened in-game play in my head but with full knowledge of who Lenora actually is. Muffled sobs begin to escape from my lips into the pillow.
I sat there stupefied as I watched mom leave the table while Aunt Alex gave us both a confused look.
“Do you mind filling me in on what the hell just happened?”
Her voice held that concerned, angry edge to it.
“I-I don’t know where to even begin.”
I said, my voice slightly quivering.
“How you start at the beginning?” She responded back in a commanding tone.
“I met someone in the game, and we got along really great. One thing led to another, and we started kind of dating…even slept with each other a few times. Now I just found out that the woman I was falling for was actually mom’s character.”
I finished my story and sat back as I watched the different facial expressions cycle through my Aunt’s face.
“So let me get this straight. My sister came out as gay, but now my niece did too, and to top it all off just discovered they were dating each other. Did I miss anything?”
“No, that’s about the gist of it, but …it’s also a little more complicated than that.”
“Complicated, how exactly?”
“Well…I don’t know how to say this. Promise you won’t hate me?”
Alex looked at me as if she was annoyed by my beating around the bush. But I can’t help it, what I am about to say would make any reasonable person disgusted with me.
“Yuki, unless it was something horrible, I would never hate you. You should know I am more open-minded than most people, so please don’t ever doubt me again.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I let out a long sigh. “It all started after mom and Kaito started the divorce. As mom was slowly spiraling into depression, I tried to take care of her.”
I absentmindedly played with my cup of tea due to my nervousness.
“Well, as time went on, I started to develop…feeling for her. Feelings that a daughter shouldn’t have for her mother. Seeing her hurt like that, I just wanted to protect and comfort her. The love I had for her eventually turned from a familial love to a romantic kind.”
Alex had an unreadable expression as she listened to me.
“I knew these feelings were wrong, so I tried to bury them inside me.”
Thinking about the past made tears come to my eyes.
“It hurt me every time mom had one of her fits and drank until she passed out. I swore I would take care of her in fath..no that man’s place like he should have done in the first place.”
I pause my story as I take a drink from my tea with shaky hands. I always loved Mom’s tea. Once I had calmed my nerves I continued.
“Later in the game, I had met Gwyn. Even though she reminded me of mom, I thought that maybe I could move on and find someone I could properly love. We spent more and more time together, I started thinking, ‘What if this was mom?’. Part of me wished she was. Today, when I found out that Gwyn was mom, I was so happy. Still, I was also upset because I knew that our relationship could no longer continue. The dream I had found myself in was shattering before my eyes.”
Silence permeated the air around us. I just stared at the table, afraid to look at Aunt Alex. Afraid of seeing her judge me. Fearful of seeing one of the few people I genuinely care for, look at me with disgust.
“Was she happy?”
My Aunt had broken the silence, which forced my attention away from the table to her face.
“I asked you if she was happy. Since spending time with you in the game, was she happy?”
It took a moment before I came to my senses and answered her question.
“U-uh…yes. She was probably the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time.”
She closed her eyes and scrunched up her face as if she was thinking before letting out a small chuckle.
“Seriously. To think my own sister and niece would be caught up in a plot like this. Normally I would enjoy reading this kind of story online, but it’s a bit different with people you know.”
She stood up from the table before speaking again.
“I’ll go talk to your mom; you stay here. If anything comes of the relationship between you two, I will support it. Especially if it can bring back her smile.”
With that said, she walked over to Mom’s room and knocked on the door.
I laid in my tear-soaked pillow as I had stopped crying a bit ago. Why did I have to meet her? Why did she make me so happy? Is this the universes’ way of telling me I don’t deserve love? Was I an adulterer in my past life, and this is my punishment?
So many questions ran through my head, but in the end, all I saw was her beaming smile.
“I am a failure of a mother.”
I looked over at my nightstand and opened it up, spotting a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey. I promised Yuki I would stop drinking, but I still do sometimes when I need to take the edge off life. When life gives you lemons, cut them up, and put them in a glass of vodka while giving the middle finger to life. The big proverbial ‘Fuck you’.
Pulling out the vodka, I sat up and took a swig.
“Hello, alcohol, my old friend.”
Downing another swig, I put the vodka on the nightstand and lay my head in my hands. What am I even doing with my life…Yuki doesn’t need me.
“Sarah can I come in?”
“Go away! I just want to be alone right now.”
“Sorry no can do. Me asking you was just a courtesy; I’m coming in anyway.”
Without warning, the door opened up, and Alex walked in.
“Dammit, Sarah! I thought you quit drinking?”
Crap. I forgot to hide the vodka.
“I did…mostly. I felt that now was a good time for a drink.”
“I will talk to you later about the alcohol.”
She gives a deep sigh before sitting next to me on the bed.
“Yuki gave me the rundown on what happened.”
My gaze wanders to the floor. Now my family will discard me. A disgusting mother who crossed a boundary no one should have.
“You must think I am a terrible mother. I wouldn’t be surprised if you…”
Before I could finish my sentence, I received a slap to the face, followed by Alex’s angry glare.
“I don’t like this pity party you are throwing for yourself, but you need to wake up and snap out of it. Do you honestly believe you are a bad mother? I’ve seen you fall down hard after the divorce, but you picked yourself back up and continued on. Yuki and I stuck by you when you were a depressed alcoholic and even attempted self-harm. So, what makes you think we would just abandon you now?”
There were only a few times I have seen Alex get truly angry, and this was one of those times. I know I messed up now.
“You are a good mother. After your recovery, you did everything you could to care for and raise Yuki. So don’t ever think that again. We also won’t just abandon you because of something like this. I had a talk with Yuki earlier, and I won’t go into details, but it seems like Yuki has been in love with you for quite some time.”
What?! Yuki…has been in love with me? Why? She is my daughter; she isn’t supposed to love me like that. What did I ever do to deserve that kind of affection?
“You probably have a lot of questions, and most of them should be directed to Yuki. Just know she loves you very much. She had said that since your time in the game, you were the happiest she has seen you in a long time. I want you to know if you continue this relationship with her, I will support it. I don’t care what other people say or even if our parents don’t agree. I just want you to be the happy, bubbly girl you used to be. I will call Yuki in here, and you two are going to talk to each other. I am also staying the night here, no arguments.”