166: Responsibility
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Content warning: Mention of child abuse.

No, it's not the protagonist. I think we would have noticed by now. I know I haven't posted those before (often, at least), but I figure it can't hurt.

There's actually surprisingly little that would warrant a content warning in this story, considering the others I've been writing, as I just realized. I'm not counting death and violence, you should certainly expect those going in.

Speaking of, I've been thinking about a second webserial I want to write. It's a worldhopping adventure with fantasy and sci-fi elements. Would you be interested in reading that?

 

We’d only hosted him for a day, and already I was fondly thinking of the pleasant days I’d have when my ancestor had left again.

It wasn’t even mainly because of his attitude. Sure, he acted just as grumpy as the last time I’d met him, but he at least seemed to make an effort to be polite. He’d congratulated me on my consorts instead of being put out over the untraditional situation, didn’t demand any eccentric amenities, and even let himself be steered away from Ceion. The problem came more from him just being himself, from the way he constituted a constant fire hazard to the mansion’s furnishings to an obliviousness to the finer points of human social behavior, like the proper scheduling of one’s day. The other issue was that everyone seemed to want to meet the Red Phoenix.

“He’s probably single-handedly cutting our productivity by twenty percent, and he’s not even doing it on purpose,” I grumbled.

“Oh, don’t be grouchy,” Yarani chided me. “Having the Red Phoenix along to fight the Zarian is an absolute blessing. Not to mention how much help he will be in getting other powerful spirit beasts, like those living in the region, to cooperate. We might even get some more spirit beasts fighting for us!”

I sighed and leaned against the wall. I’d just fled outside, to a corner of the building adjoining a space they’d set up as a training ground. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up in that regard. But you’re right, just the assurance that they’ll stay out of our way would be very good to have.”

Yarani smiled gently. “It’s all going to work out, Nari. I know you’re tense, with the way things seem to be coming together. But we’ll face what problems the Zarian or the Storm may throw at us when we actually encounter them, and until then, it’s best not to worry too much.”

I returned her smile. “I guess you’re right, Yarani. Thanks.”

“Besides.” Her smile widened and became more mischievous. “I may have gotten some intel from home outside normal channels. You know, just talk. And it seems like the research initiative regarding the Zarian artifacts is considered pretty much finished, especially since they’ll have to do without their head for now.”

I straightened up. “You mean …?”

“Yes. Tenira is coming south.”

I grinned. That was very good news. Not necessarily for the research initiative and our war effort, but that was definitely a lesser concern to me at the moment. “Great. I see you were falling all over yourself to run and tell me the news, too. I appreciate the consideration, Yarani.”

She gave me her usual unrepentant grin. “I actually wanted to let it be a surprise, but, obviously, you would have heard about it before she arrived. I suppose we should be fair and let Kajare know now, too.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed off of the wall. I’d given up sulking over the fact that people all seemed to have their own information networks and always knew important stuff before me, since they pretty much constituted my own information network in the end. And I just didn’t want or need the headache of trying to build contacts of that sort myself.

“You know, it’s nice to know that if someone ever gets too annoying, I have the army and can just use some soldiers to beat them up,” I mused.

“Threats of violence at this hour?” Yarani widened her eyes and placed a hand on her heart theatrically. “Oh, my. Such a perilous life I lead.”

“Who said I was threatening you?” I grinned. Then I started ambling away.

We made a slow circuit of the grounds, which were a lot smaller than what I’d become used to when we set up in one of the recently conquered cities. At least the reception here had been a lot friendlier, perhaps because the town wasn’t large enough to have much of an upper class of high-tier cultivators, and the common folk seemed pretty sanguine about the Basement. It was a nice day, the sun burning from an almost cloudless blue sky, though the weather was turning colder. And this far to the south, you almost never had any really warm days, anyway.

I looked out over the fields around the town. Mostly different crops than I would have seen in the Empire, at least around the capital. That made sense given the local geography in terms of elevation and climate. At this point, I’d given up wondering why something that clearly resembled Earth barley would exist in Aran, like other plants and animals. The fields abruptly cut off in one direction, at the border of the recently caused devastation. I had a feeling that some of the town’s outlying fields had been caught in it. Hopefully, they’d kept enough intact that feeding themselves wouldn’t be a problem, but they also had Imperial soldiers camping here. I made a mental note to see about getting a few army cultivators to help their plant cultivation. Certainly wouldn’t hurt to ingratiate us with the locals, either.

Then my attention was drawn to a few dark specks in the sky, which grew gradually larger. I tensed a little until I could make out the familiar shapes of Imperial airships. We’d stepped up building programs for them, too, and those had finally started to have noticeable effects. We had all the airships we could risk, now, which was usually the limiting factor in using them in war, anyway. Some of those would have been modified to carry our airplanes, which we still couldn’t get enough of down here. Unlike other supplies, getting those built in facilities on the Storm Continent just wasn’t feasible.

“The campaign seems to be going well,” Yarani commented. “General Wei is still pushing the Zarian.”

I grunted in response, but turned my attention away from the scenery and started walking again. “He hasn’t been at it long. It might be off to a good start, but let’s not count our victories yet.”

“I’d call another Zarian city taken a very good start,” she said with a hint of satisfaction in her tone. “I know they have a lot of them, but eventually even they are going to run out.”

“There’s always the colonies,” I pointed out. “But I suppose we’re winning there, too, all things considered.”

“Hm.” Yarani was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful, before she spoke again. “Maybe, with Kiyanu here, you should take the opportunity to go north. Being here, involved with the war on this front, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. But we need to tailor our strategy to the whole conflict, not to mention international political considerations.”

I frowned, slowing down a little while I thought about it. “Not a bad idea,” I finally said. “But I don’t think I will. There’s just …” I shrugged. “Whatever Jideia or the Dominion are up to, it’s going to center here. I’d rather stay.”

“If you think that’s best.”

We kept walking for a while in silence. I could still hear a lot of what was going on in the area, but I made an effort to shut down my senses, or rather ignore them, and enjoyed the little illusion of tranquility. It was rare enough that I got some time away from people these days, even with one of my partners, without being buried in paperwork.

That might be why I didn’t realize who we were heading to meet at first. There was a double row of bushes and small trees planted in this part of the grounds, with the odd wildflower in the small grassy strip between them. The vegetation hid the other group from view until we were almost on top of them, and I hadn’t been paying attention to my other senses. None of the guards ranging around us in a wide perimeter had given any sign of danger, either.

Ceion froze for a moment when he saw us, hesitating just long enough to let his companion get a breath ahead before she, too, slowed. An Imperial elite, judging by the aura and clothing, although she appeared pretty relaxed. I approved of keeping him under guard, but not making him feel too much like a prisoner.

The soldier bowed deeply, and after a moment of hesitation, the spirit-child followed suit. “Imperial Princess,” he murmured.

“Ceion.” I smiled. “I see you’re out enjoying the nice weather, too.”

“We were just coming back into the building,” he said.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Nari?” Yarani asked in a playful tone. She hooked her arm into mine.

“I believe you’ve seen each other before,” I said with a wry smile. “But of course, forgive my discourtesy. Ceion, meet Lady Tia Yarani, one of my consorts.”

“Indescribably charmed,” he answered, and bowed gallantly. But I could see the sudden tension in his posture after he straightened back up, and the wariness in the way he watched her.

“It does seem a little backward to only learn each other’s names after one of us has already touched the other’s body rather intimately,” she replied with another smile. “Of course, that was only qi, wasn’t it? And I daresay it ended better for me than most others. No harm done.”

He visibly took a deep breath. “I apologize for the way I used my bloodline ability on you, Lady Tia. I acted in self-defense, but I realize that doesn’t change your experience.”

Yarani’s smile slipped from her face like water off a stone. She looked at him in silence for a few moments, whatever thoughts passed through her head hidden behind an unmoving expression. Then she nodded. “I appreciate the apology, Ceion. Thank you. And it’s just Yarani.”

I wonder if he’s going to apologize for the guards killed in his assassination attempts. But I locked that thought away behind a calm facade and brushed it off. Showing resentment to Ceion now would be counterproductive. Feeling it would be, as well. Besides, he was far too interesting to let that be all of it.

“We were heading back, too,” I said lightly. “Might as well walk together a little, if you don’t mind a detour?”

“By the strangest coincidence, I don’t think I have any more pressing appointments on my schedule, Your Highness,” Ceion said drily.

I grinned at him and turned partway, setting off again. Yarani and Ceion fell into step with me, though he kept a wary distance, while his escort hung back. This was probably about as private as we were likely to get without making a concerted effort.

“It might snow in the not too distant future. The weather here is a little colder than I’m used to, though it’s not a large difference,” I remarked. “How was it like where you’re from, Ceion?”

He raised an eyebrow. “A little colder still, Your Highness. Is that your way of asking where I was raised?”

“I certainly wouldn’t object to hearing about it. But you don’t need to talk about it if you really don’t want to,” I said gently. “I’m not going to force you to answer any questions.”

“Well, that’s what a fellow likes to hear!” He grinned again. “I certainly approve of the attitude. In my position, one does wonder.”

“I can see how you would, though you must have seen which way the wind is blowing,” I commented.

“In regards to expecting questioning? Of course. I did notice a rather conspicuous lack of thumbscrews.”

Yarani made a sound that I knew was a muffled chuckle. I only smiled and kept walking.

“I was raised in a small town close to the Whitecaps,” he said after a short while. “Very scenic view. Very off the beaten path. Great for privacy. But still close enough to the cities, and, of course, the temple.”

I hummed thoughtfully. “I imagine you weren’t raised in a farmer’s cottage,” I said. “An abbey or temple?”

He tilted his head slightly. “Close enough. They certainly provided a proportionately large number of temple knights now. But I actually was raised in large part by my family, the mortal side, at least.”

I glanced at him, seeing the subtle signs of tension in his posture at the subject matter. Despite his light tone, his expression wasn’t that of someone fondly reminiscing about their childhood.

“I imagine that means your mother?” I asked. “Siblings, maybe?”

This time, he did grimace slightly. “Yes, and yes, I suppose. My older half-brother Niordo.”

I managed to hide any reaction, but I recognized that name from when Elis had mentioned it.

“We heard that your aura wasn’t nearly as blackened, for lack of a better term, as one would expect,” Yarani said quietly. “Considering what we’ve seen you do.”

Ceion clenched his jaw, then forced it to relax. “I wouldn’t trust that kind of of sense very far,” he said lightly.

“That’s probably smart,” I replied. “But the point still stands. You know that two people died in the attacks you made, don’t you? I suppose you could argue both of them were enemy combatants, although the young rebel really didn’t constitute any sort of threat to you. I have to wonder how many other people we don’t know about. I’m sure you understand why.”

Ceion slowed down, and I smoothly stopped, until the whole group was standing in another tree-lined path. “I’m afraid I can’t help you there,” he said stiffly.

I gave him as gentle a smile as I could manage. “The thing is, Ceion, I don’t think you’re a psychopath, or evil, or whatever you want to call it. Or even a murderer, arguably. I know you didn’t set out to kill either of them. But there’s not really any question that people suffered due to your uses of your bloodline ability, presumably not just during this war.”

“Can you get to the point, please?”

“It just bothers me.” I shrugged. “I don’t think you wanted to do things like that. I’m a spirit-child, too, Ceion. I know how they influence you. How they can twist you and mold you into doing what they want.”

He crossed his arms. “So?”

“So the question is what you wanted. Is this your fault, Ceion? Did you want to kill these people, to hurt people?” I stared at him. “It’s a simple question. Yes or no.”

“Oh, spirits,” he spat. “Of course I don’t want to hurt people!”

I repressed a smile. “Then you did it because of others.”

He glared at me for a moment, then sighed. “That’s pretty obvious.”

“But you still acted,” I pointed out, leaning against a tree trunk and ignoring the others. “You still bear some responsibility for it. What I said before is still true, but it doesn’t change that fact. So, again, why did you?”

He looked at me again, his frown fading. “It was the mission,” he finally said. There was an odd undertone in his voice.

“And it never occurred to you to defy your mission?” I asked, but still gently, keeping my gaze focused on him and my tone soft.

He snorted, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his hands. “The first time I tried to refuse a mission, my brother beat me to within an inch of my life. After that, I never tried again.”

There was silence for a second, only broken by distant birdsong. Yarani shifted beside me, but I kept my gaze on Ceion. “How old were you?” I asked softly.

He shrugged. “About thirteen, I think.”

I regarded him thoughtfully for another moment, then smiled and pushed off. “Well. Thank you for the talk, Ceion. Sincerely. I won’t keep you any further, I know this has to have been uncomfortable enough already.”

He nodded and turned away.

“Ceion,” I said, causing him to pause. “I’m the daughter of the Moon. That means I have a knack for guidance. It seems to me like you need some, and my door is open. I know that, given our positions, it’s not what you would ask for, but still. And you should know that I’m going to try to remove or counteract the Auditor’s hold on you as best I can.”

He hesitated, opened his mouth, then clenched it shut and bowed before moving off at a fast pace.

Yarani and I stood watching him until Ceion and his escort got out of sight, then started walking again, slowly. I took her hand, and she gave me a gentle squeeze.

“Nari,” she finally said softly. “I think …” She trailed off.

“What is it, love?”

She shook her head, then turned to face me. “I have something to ask, I think.” Her gaze was intent. “Be kind to him, Nari.”

I blinked. “Why?” I asked before I could think better of it.

She shrugged. “It seems like he needs it.”

Well, I could hardly dispute that. I didn’t have any response to it, so I just kept walking in silence. I had a lot to think about. But one thing stood out to me, something I should have understood and perhaps hadn’t given enough credit.

Yarani was a genuinely good person.

And I really am lucky to have her.

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