I woke up in my bed just like in the past. 

Wait, this is the past. 

I looked at my tiny hand. I was back home. That dream that I saw last night. It felt like I was trapped inside a nightmare for 20 years, a nightmare that only ended with my own death. Remembering the dream made my tears start to fall again.

No, calm down.

I quickly wiped my tears with my sleeve. 

Even if everything in the dream was going to happen it’s still not too late.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I looked at my window and saw just a tiny light pass through the curtain. 

It was still early morning.

I walked towards the table in my room and took a seat.

Let’s start from the beginning. I’m Charlotte Grace Lamollet, the daughter of Duke Lamollet, a timid girl with nothing to note of. Just like a wallflower, pretty for decoration and nothing else.

There are 3 other members of the family beside me. 

First, my Father, Duke Tommier Kolta Lamollet, a workaholic that only cared about his job. I only met him a few times in my life before his untimely demise. He was found dead when I was 10 years old, they said that the cause was a heart attack because of overwork. How ironic really, he gave his life to his job and his job took it away.

Second, my Mother, Clarina Orlea Lamotte, originally Clarina Orlea Crefort, a woman who gave everything for an empty love. She left her family behind just to marry someone who's already married to his work. I met her even less than my Father. She almost never left her room. The only time that I ever saw her face clearly was the time she left this house forever.

Third, my older Brother, Stefano Ewlo Lamotte, the bloodthirsty duke. Originally he was a gentle and thoughtful boy, but after Father passed away and Mother left it seemed that something inside him broke. Inheriting the dukedom at the age of 15 he started a massacre everywhere he went, until one day he just disappeared and nobody even bothered to look for his corpse.  

Now that I really think about it, everything started from my Father. I have to stop that bad dream to become reality, but how?

“Milady, are you already awake?”
“Yes, Martha.”

This is Martha, my nanny, the woman who took care of me like her own child. I heard that she lost her child to a disease. Filled with grieve she handed the butler her resignation but instead of accepting it the butler assigned her as my nanny. Did the butler do it because he wanted to lessen Martha’s grieve? Or did he do it because he knew that my Mother will not even see me so I need another mother figure in my life?

“Are you okay? You were crying yourself to sleep last night, Milady.”

Martha… in the dream she sacrificed herself for me. When everybody was against me, she stood there, on my side. In my highest and in my lowest she was always there but when she needed me the most all I could do was watch.

I stood up from my desk and walked back to my bed.

“Martha, can you come here?”
“Yes, Milady.”

Martha sat on my bed right next to me. Before she could ask another question I hugged her gently like how she hugged me the night before.

“Milady...”
“Don’t call me that, call me like you used to.”
“As you wish Mi… Lotte.”
“Just call me Lotte from now on” 

I tightened my hug on her. Her gentle voice, her calming smell, and her warmth. Everything I ever needed in this world.

“But...”
“No but.”
“Okay okay. Why are you suddenly acting all spoiled?”
“Just felt like it.”
“The governess will yell at you if she sees you like this, you know?” she said while stroking my head
“It’s okay, you will protect me.”
“Fufufu, and what does a mere nanny like me can do to protect you, Lotte?”
“You’re not a mere nanny.”
“Oh? And what am I? A super nanny?”
“You’re my mom.”

The hand that stroked my head suddenly stopped. She tried to break away from me but I didn’t let go. I held her in my hands even tighter. I felt that she would disappear again if I let go.

“Milady… I...”
“Can I call you mom?”
“No, Milady… I’m just...”

I could feel her body trembling. Did she hate being called that? Then it dawned on me, maybe she only saw her dead daughter in me sometimes. That at the end of the day I was her Master and she was my Servant.

 I reluctantly let her go. I took a deep breath and tried to stop any emotion from showing on my face. I then lifted my head and looked at her. There I saw her tear stained face. And her smile. The brightest smile she ever made. She then hugged me.

“Lotte, what did you just call me?”
“Mom?”
“Lotte!”
“Mom!”

The tears just started flowing from my eyes too.

And we just stayed there. Mother and daughter crying with each other until there areno more tears left.