Max woke up with Victoria in her arms, which was, to her, one of the best ways to set the tone to a new day she’d ever experienced. It was up there with finding out a cat had fallen asleep next to you: absolute trust and comfort. She sighed a deep breath of comfort, and found herself catching a whiff of Victoria’s shampoo. Max wondered briefly if her ‘improved’ body included improved senses. Not enough to have been noticeable before, but she’d definitely never been able to taste someone’s scent in the air before.

I think that’s on me, Penny said, not sorry. Did you really just compare her to a cat? Maxine apologized for nothing and just scooted a little closer to Victoria. Some time during the night, Max had naturally found herself being the big spoon, her nose pressed up against the nape of Victoria’s neck. She wanted this moment to stretch out into forever. I don’t think I’d mind that either, Penumbra mumbled happily. 

After a little bit, Victoria began to stir, mumbling softly in the haze of half-waking sleep. When she started to roll over, Maxine gave her a bit of room and after a little bit of awkward shuffling, they were nose to nose, sleepy eyes locking gazes. Before a word was said, a little kiss. Max felt a little voice remind her of what she looked like right now, and tried not to implode on herself with discomfort. 

I would point out, Penny reminded her, that she is still here. She kissed you. Us. What you look like seems to have not had her running for the hills. They paused and Maxine felt them distinctly present in her head, sighing contentedly at Victoria together. And I don’t think that’s a look of pity, they added a little smugly. Fine, they had a point. 

“Good morning,” Victoria said with the slightest of smiles. In response, Maxine ever so gently nudged Victoria’s nose with her own. 

“Morning,” Max mumbled softly. Then they said nothing for a good long while, closing their eyes again, foreheads pressed together. Maxine listened softly to the sound of Victoria’s breathing, and found herself inadvertently mirroring it. Over time, lips found each other again, and they stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for what felt like aeons. Of course, no good thing could last forever.

You have to pee, Penny said. Maxine willed it to not be true. Max, Penny insisted. Please. I don’t want to learn how to heal you from a bladder infection. More internal grumbling. Maxine Powers, Penny scolded, Bathroom. Now. Max hated it when they were right. No, you don’t. Now for the love of god find a bathroom. -I’m- uncomfortable. With the greatest of sighs and titanic effort, she pulled herself out of Victoria’s embrace. She rolled out of bed, feeling a little bit cooler than she looked, and Victoria pointed her the right way. 

“You can take a shower while you’re in there,” Victoria said as she stretched and Max’s breath caught in her throat at the unintentional display. “Oh, and one thing, Max,” she added. Maxine cocked her head. “The mirror lies. Don’t listen to it, okay?” Victoria smiled softly at her and then Max ducked into the bathroom. 

A little while later, she felt distinctly more human. She always forgot how sweaty she could be after a good cry, and how clean she felt after a shower. Still, she found it hard to look down while standing under the hot water. Maxine had never been as distinctly aware of how wrong her body was before, but once she’d seen what was on the other side, going back proved to be… difficult. It was hard to pretend a wound wasn’t there while you were treating it. 

She toweled herself off and picked up yesterday’s clothing. She became distinctly aware of the fact that she had basically scaled a building and fought… things, all while wearing them, and it was definitely noticeable. And her sense of smell was definitely stronger now. She was about to throw the clothes on anyway when there was a polite little knock on the door.

“Max? I don’t know if you’re dressed yet, but I figured that, you know, after yesterday’s excitement it couldn’t hurt to have some clean clothes,” Victoria said through the wood. “I put them in a little pile just outside the door, should be something in there that fits you.” For the umpteenth time, Maxine realized just how incredibly lucky she was. 

“Thank you,” she squeaked back. Her voice was still an unpleasant, painful roadblock, something she slammed into every time she opened her mouth now. But it felt just a little bit different. Sure, it was still the same pitch, the same voice, but something about it was different. She wondered if Penny had made any changes, despite the two of them having decided to wait until that night’s party. 

You’re using it differently, Penny said. I haven’t done a dang thing. Maxine blinked a few times. She didn’t quite understand how. It’s not a big change, they added. But it makes a difference. I wouldn’t even know how to describe it. But I think we can agree that it’s a good thing? On that, Maxine thought, they could most definitely agree. She opened the door just a little bit and heard Victoria humming softly to herself. As much as she wanted to sit there and listen, she did have to get dressed. She quickly grabbed the promised pile of clothes and closed the door like a little clothes-stealing goblin.

Maxine sifted through the pile and realized that Victoria had chosen several outfits for her, and all of them had several things in common. She wasn’t sure if this was because the outfits were all a little older, but they would definitely fit her sturdier frame. And all of them had a specific energy to them. That energy, she feared, would be very different depending on how she looked on the outside, but either way it involved a lot of flannel. She was a little afraid the clothes would make her look like a lumberjack -- or worse, a hipster -- but at least they were clean and smelled ever so faintly of whatever laundry detergent Victoria used that made her smell like spring. 

She threw on a light tee, a red flannel, which stretched a little uncomfortably around her shoulders, and a pair of jeans that fit miraculously well. She was, all things considered, distinctly uncomfortable, but in a way that was manageable at least. Walking out of the bathroom with her old clothes under her arm, she shot Victoria an apologetic glance. “Sorry that took so long,” she said softly. That was only part of it. The other one was that she felt that she looked distinctly, well, masculine. Victoria’s wide grin cut through her thoughts like a compliment through a lesbian. 

“You’re fine, Maxine,” Victoria said. “I’m glad they fit! Looks good on you.” She smiled. “And now: My turn.” She hurried past Max with her clothes under her arm, reaching up a bit to kiss Max ever so softly, and then closed the bathroom door behind her. Max sat down on the bed. This was all so surreal, even disregarding the alien that lived in her head now. She’d never known acceptance like this before. Penny bopped her softly on the hindbrain and reminded her that she was allowed this, that she deserved this. It helped a little bit. Victoria emerged fully dressed, radiant as ever, and Max needed Penny’s help picking her jaw up off the floor. 

Not much later, they were on their way down in the elevator. Victoria had offered to make breakfast -- or brunch, as things stood, because they’d slept in past noon -- but when she’d opened the door to the living room, the realization that they were high up without a window was as sobering as the ice-cold air blowing in. So they’d decided to pick up breakfast at the mall where they’d be shopping. 

The car ride there was quiet but comfortably so. The two -- three? -- of them made eye contact regularly, and Max couldn’t help but smile. Things were… strange, but going in the right direction, she felt. She felt comfortable around Victoria. Safe. Moreso, perhaps, than she ever had. It was unfamiliar and, following that train of thought, a little scary. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but also slowly lowering her guard. So far, she had yet to be stabbed. 

You’re an ass, Penny said, matter of factly. Maxine didn’t disagree, but she smiled. Breakfast was nice, shared with the same kind of pregnant silence as they had in the car, until Victoria had asked Max about the bookstore, if she spent a lot of time reading. After that, Max figured it would have been almost impossible for them to stop talking. It turned out they both had a love of hard science fiction, and they shared their favourite authors and takes, frustrations with the genre and their mutual desire to see certain tropes die and others show up more often. 

They continued their conversation as they walked through the mall, paying attention to nothing but each other and walking past the stores they’d planned on visiting at least twice in both directions. Enjoying each other’s company was the goal, it seemed, and Max was fully intent on reaching it. Finally, almost by accident, they walked into one of the shops that Max had picked for its cute summer dresses. 

She quickly fell silent. She felt out of place, like she’d be yelled at if she even looked at the women’s clothing. A sense of trepidation had crept up on her and pounced when she hadn’t expected it, and now she felt like leaving, like running. Victoria put a hand on her arm. 

“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re not doing this alone. Besides… nobody is going to give you a second glance,” Victoria said. Max sighed and looked at her. 

“Well, yeah,” Max said. “That’s because everyone is going to think I’m your boyfriend.” It hurt her even to say it, and she felt even Penny squirm in second-hand discomfort. Victoria took her by the arm and led her to the changing stalls. 

“First off, they’d be wrong. Second, I don’t care.” She paused. “And I know you do, Max. Your… the feeling of fear is real, even if it’s not… correct.” She seemed to have some trouble finding the right words. “And thirdly, I think around this time is when you and Penny agreed on.” She jerked her head to the changing stalls. “Go on, get changed. Nobody’s watching. Let yourself feel better.”

Max happily did as she was told, slipping into the stall and slid the curtain closed behind her. She’d expected the giant mirror, but that didn’t diminish how uncomfortable it made her. The person in the mirror was too tall, too angular. The clothing didn’t make her look any less masculine. She wondered briefly how she could ever think she was a woman, until she got another prod from Penumbra and she smiled softly. Then she felt Penny envelop her. The black suit crept up around her from the inside, and it was strange that she was getting used to not only the sensation, but also from seeing it, the purplish liquid becoming a second and then a first skin, until she found herself looking out through the mask. The figure in the mirror very quickly began to grow smaller. The frame grew slimmer, the hips a bit wider, and, maybe most importantly, she saw the confidence in the creature’s stance change dramatically as she felt more and more comfortable. 

You mentioned something about hair, Penny said cryptically, and when they retreated, she realized why. Instead of the shoulder-length cut she’d had before that had made her feel like she looked ever so slightly queer, she was now, without doubt or hesitation, aggressively gay. Combed to one side, a side-shave on the other, still wearing the jeans and flannel, the girl Maxine saw in the mirror would be identifiable as a sapphic disaster from a mile away. It was perfect. 

She opened the curtain. Victoria was looking at a rack close to the changing stall, and Maxine cleared her throat softly. Victoria turned around and her eyes grew wide. She audibly gasped and immediately stepped closer.

“Hey,” Max said bashfully, her voice again what it should be. Victoria seemed to be at a loss for words, scanning her up and down without reservations. “At least nobody’s going to think I’m your boyfriend now,” Max said with a soft chuckle. To prove her right, Victoria took another step closer, and Maxine became aware once again of the fact that Victoria was taller than her now. Victoria took Max’s face carefully in her hands. “Oh,” Max said, right before the kiss that blew her mind.

Elamimax

Shopping with someone you care about can be so much fun ^_^

So, small announcement: As you can probably tell, updates have slowed down from 2 every 2 days to only 1. They might slow down a little more. The reason for this is simple but annoying: Money. While I'm already incredibly grateful for the support I've gotten from my patrons, it has been necessary to append that income with my disability funds. The problem is that those run out at the end of this year if I can't prove that my writing is a viable means of income, so I need to expand that income. 

The bad news: that means working on Penumbra less. Penumbra is a passion project, but it's a little niche, and, for lack of a more nuanced phrase, I gotta sell out or starve. 

The good news: Penumbra isn't on hiatus, it's just going to have to take a back seat. To what, you ask? Well, in order to supplement my income with shorter novellas (about the length of Mutually Assured Seduction or Horns In The Library) which I'll be publishing through Amazon and similar as ebooks. 

In short: A bit less Penumbra, more short stories, and more Patreon exclusive stuff. It's not ideal, but I need to be able to pay rent. 

What I'm asking from you: Keep reading! Simply reading my work gives it views which give it attention, and that already helps. Of course, word of mouth goes a long way, and I'll never be mad if you signal boost me on twitter or elsewhere. And of course, if you're not subscribed to my Patreon yet: I have a story that is so far Patron-exclusive, as well as other fun little benefits. So, if you have a few dollars to spare, it would mean the world to me.

I also want to point people at the discord server of the ever-prolific QuietValerie (right here) where you can find her wonderful stories, like Ryn of Avonside, Falling Over and The Trouble With Horns, as well as other authors' works, and talk about them with fellow fans, and even the authors themselves! I heartily recommend joining it and reading their works! (Also check out Walls of Anamoor. It's rad as heck.) 

Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you all in the next one. 

<3