Kitchen duty was definitely the distraction I needed. My workplace was tucked away on the lower decks, filled to the brim with pots, pans, and all sorts of cooking utensils I had yet to learn the names of. Barrels of ingredients lined the walls, a few of which had alternating water and darkness elemental stones set on their rims. Those barrels were cool to the touch, and I found essentially refrigerated ingredients inside. 

The ship’s chef was a kind yet strict tutor. Her guidance and the ever-increasing pressure from the hungry sailors gave me an express lesson on cutting techniques for pretty much anything that fit on a cutting board. There were times during the lunch and dinner rush where I didn’t even know what I was cutting. It definitely ‘cut’ down on the time I had to worry about my new set of memories though. Nina never showed up for either of the meals, though I did catch Kei sneaking away with a second portion during dinner. I let her go. What was I supposed to say? 

I didn’t get any nighttime brushing either. I found a brush and tried to do it myself, but I couldn’t replicate that fluffy, floating feeling I felt when Nina did it. At the very least, sleep came quickly. I was still a bit sore from my previous escapades, and a day of moving around the kitchen definitely didn’t help. At the crack of dawn, I was whisked straight into the fray, robbing me of any chance to reconcile with Nina. We were supposed to arrive at Kin no Kaigan in the late afternoon, so there was quite a bit more hustle and bustle than the day before.

Somehow I managed to make it to lunchtime. Sailors crowded the lower decks, eagerly stuffing themselves with the stew I’d helped prepare. In the few moments I had to myself, my thoughts had started drifting towards Nina again. I was in the middle of idly preparing vegetables for another pot when a familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Hello? Sylvia, you in there?”

Alec was leaning over the kitchen counter, his face full of concern for me.

“Oh, sorry,” I said. “I was pretty focused on work.”

“Uh huh…” He replied. “There’s nothing bothering you then?” 

The floorboards creaked as I fidgeted, as if to answer for me. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Just some dumb thoughts in my head, that’s all.”

“Dumb thoughts like ‘french fry stew’?”

“What?”

Alec smirked and pointed down at the potato I had been peeling. The vegetable’s skin had long been stripped, but I had continued whittling it down while I was distracted. It was about the size of a large french fry now. With a sigh, I set the knife down on the counter and chucked the remains of the mutilated veggie in the barrel that served as the kitchen’s trash can.

“You’re sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?” Alec asked again.

“Fine,” I conceded, pulling up a bar stool to sit next to him. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course. What’s got you so out of it?”

I took a deep breath. “Ok, this is going to sound really stupid, but how long have we been in this world for?”

My question hung between us, deafened in the relative silence of the kitchen. It was a stupid question, but my heartbeat quickened all the same.

“Six days, if I counted correctly,” he said at last. “Why?”

Oh, thank the goddess.

“I have a second set of memories,” I explained. “In one of them, I was brought here six days ago, and in the other, I’ve lived in this world my whole life. My Sis- I mean, Nina, she has these new memories too.”

“Ah, so that’s why you two have been acting so strange,” He noted, pulling up a barstool of his own. “I thought the two of you had a fight or something.”

I groaned. “We might as well have! I feel like I offended myself or something.”

“Really? The two of you seem plenty different to me. You’re much easier to tease, for one.”

“Hey!”

That stupid grin spread wide across his face. “I present to you, exhibit A.”

“I thought you were trying to cheer me up,” I pouted.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” He paused, giving thought to everything I’d just said. “Ok, let’s say the two of you do think the same way. That means whatever you’re worried about, she’s probably worried about too. Got any insight on what that might be, little sis?”

“I’m not really her sister, you know,” I reminded him.

Alec looked at me like I had just told him the moon wasn’t real.  “I mean yeah, but you’ve been doing it all week! Frankly, it’d be weirder at this point if you didn’t call her your sister. What’s changed between then and now?”

“In my other memories, I’ve called her that my entire life,” I told him. “It feels like we’re both faking it, especially if we’ve only really known each other for a week.”

Alec rolled his eyes in response. “Well, my memories say that you two love having that familial bond, and I’m pretty sure nothing has messed with my head. Personally, I think it’s cute, and the two of you have definitely gotten closer for it.”

“That’s the problem!” I exclaimed. “What if we get too close? What’ll happen when it’s time to leave?” 

I jumped a little when Alec suddenly smacked his fist on his palm like a gavel. “Aha! I think I understand your problem now.”

“You do?” I took a moment to think about it myself. A passing thought latched onto my conscience, and for the first time all week, I felt the gravity of a choice I didn’t realize I had weigh down on me. My voice faltered, dropping to a whisper. “She’s worried that I won’t want to leave because of her, right?”

Alec nodded. “Especially with those new memories, I’d say that’s probably it. The last thing she wants is to convince you to stay because she’s being selfish. If she pushes you away now, you won’t have any reason to reconsider.”

We sat in silence after that revelation. My adult mind knew it was the safest thing to do. We’d still be able to talk after I got back, or at least I hoped we could. And goddess knows what might happen if I tried to stay here longer than a week. The best way to ensure my safety was to force me to go home with Alec. It was the sensible, mature thing to do.

But…

“I don’t want this,” I whispered, and my whole body shuddered. Tears started flowing down my face for what felt like the hundredth time this week.

Alec was standing beside me in an instant. “Sylvie, you good?” he asked.

“I don’t want to do this!” I sobbed, burying my face in his shoulder. “I’m scared! Why do I have to choose?! I want to stay like this, like I am now! If I go back, I have to tell everyone I knew in that life who I really am, or live a lie for them. I’m not strong enough for that! But if I refuse to go, I might die! What kind of choice is that!? It’s not fair!” 

I was totally acting like a little kid. I certainly felt just as helpless as one. Alec’s arms wrapped around me regardless, and he held me tight against him as heavy sobs wracked my body. “Easy there, Sylvie. You’re ok. I’m here, I’m here.” I squeezed him tight as I let the worst of the sobs run their course. 

Once I had calmed down a bit, Alec offered his thoughts. “I think you and Nina are both overthinking this. Do you even know why you have new memories all of a sudden?”

“No…”

“Then try not to worry so much! You two go make up with each other, and enjoy your last day together. I’m sure she’ll reach out to you again after we get home. She’ll support you every step of your transition, I know it.”

“But, what if-”

“Sylvie, stop. The two of you need each other. Plus, you weren’t planning on leaving without saying goodbye, right?”

“Well, no, but-”

Alec cut me off again. “How’s this: If you forget the truth, I’ll be sure to remind you. And I’ll get Kei to do the same for Nina. How does that sound?”

I wiped my eyes. “Promise?”

“Promise. Now, we’re going to find your sister and have a chat with her, ok?” Before I could answer, Alec scooped me up in a princess carry. Under normal circumstances, I would have been super embarrassed. But right now, I appreciated my friend’s subtle attempt to cheer me up.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get much farther than the kitchen door. Kei opened it from the other side, carrying a very embarrassed Nina in her arms. She was trapped in the same princess carry I was in. Kei and Alec shared a look of amusement before bursting out in laughter. 

“I knew I liked you, kid,” Kei said to him. “Now, how about we put these foxes down and we can chat for a bit?”