(Unedited, "HAH, squeezed in a third chapter and kept my self made (weak)promise of at least 3 chapters a week, Hope you guys enjoy and lemme know if anything is wrong ") (^-^)
6 hours past noon on the third day Yao Clan Grand Elder Bai found the white lily flower.
“Father had finally stabilized with his injuries, but his drop-in cultivation will be difficult to hide.” Yao Matriarch gloom over the events happening in Sunrise city they were located in.
“Grand Elder Bai Cultivation from the 8 Late Nascent Realm to the 4th will cause our enemies to begin snooping around the Yao clan area. We must have our clan stay on high alert for the next few months and wait for Grand Elder Bai to recover more of his strength.” Grand Elder Yao Shi, Yao Bai's only wife.
An old man wearing white robes exited a room with sweats perspiring down his head.
“Grand Elder Bai life is stabilized now, but the time it will take to recover his strength does not bode well for the clan.” Announced the clan doctor. “Grand Elder Bai is requesting for both Matriarch and Grand Elder Shi.”
The clan doctor excused himself from their presence and let out a sigh.
Entering in the room, both female senior of the Yao clan saw a old man wrapped up bandages all over the place like a mummy found in ancient sites.
With just the three of them in the room, Grand elder Shi formed a formation barrier around the room to keep unwanted ears from listening in.
“Father, what happened for you to come back in such a injure state? Are we being targeted by a strong clan?” Still red eyes from seeing her daughter and almost tearing up from seeing her father in such a horrendous condition.
“No, my dear child. It was this foolish old man who was blinded by hope and greed. I had searched throughout the Mystic forest that may be able to cure little Zi of her condition, and chanced upon the flower I had given to you.” Still weak from all the injuries over his body, he retell of how incredible amount of life energy the white lily flower had shown, even during the battle with the mutated Bat that was close to ascending its own demonic soul to the next realm, Spirit Ascension.
Both Yao Matriarch and Grand Elder Shi widen their eyes and mouth in shocked. Spirit Ascension was an Overlord of these lands, only in the peak Middle Nascent realm barely qualifies you to create a large clan in one of their cities.
Nodding his head, he continue on that after defeating the beast that he had used most of his Ki energy reserve. Yet after defeating the beast, a horde of beast came after Mutated Bat aura could no longer be felt. He first tried to secure the white lily flower and put it in his storage ring but found that he was unable to. He had no time to question its mysteries and slayed a bloodied path out. Strangely, every time that he felt he would fall prey to beast fatal attack, he’d gain just enough energy to deflect or outright slay the beast.
Being that the area he found the mysteries lily flower deep in the Mystic Forest Forbidden zones, he was sieged from all side from hordes of beast drawn from the lily flower life aura.
Yet just after 2 days of constant life and death battle he barely escaped with his life out of the forbidden zone in the Mystic Forest, the white lily flower aura dimmed down. Almost to the point that it was no different from a ordinary plant found at a civilian’s garden.
Guilt and regret filled his mind as self blames started to cloud his mind as the thought of the flower mysterious power was wasted on him. But with newfound resolved and glimmer of hope that the flower aura was not a one-time use, he burn through his cultivation heading back to the Yao Clan main house.
Ending his harsh journey when he showed up in that injure state in the clan complex.
“Little Li, you must order the clan to stay in high alert. As my action may have cause others to feel greed to our Yao clan because of my rash decision.” Stern eyes Grand Elder Yao Bai told his daughter “But if they think that our Yao clan has fallen in strength, I’ll show them that this broken old body can still break down their strongest!”
“Yes Father, but please take care of yourself more. Little Zi will be sadden to hear that you were injured for her sake.” Tears already spilling from Yao Matriarch eyes, no blame was shown on her face nor mind.
.
..
Back in Yao Clan secluded room of Yao Zi’s
The White Lily Flower that had once dazzled Grand Elder Bai with its life force, started to shrivel and wilt in but moments. Then with its brown lifeless body fell over to its side, laying on the dirt and hanging on the side of the vase.
A dark liquid started to drip in a amazing amount from the flower and fell to the ground. The dark liquid, after forming a large puddle, started to move and raise itself up. It started turning around with a point as if acting as its head, and then saw a little child laid down on a bed.
It's a brown slime! Idk... Lol
Ok so I think I have read enough to see why it isn't doing as well as you'd like. Firstly, for being an OELN it reads like a translation and so it is kind of chunky. Also some of the grammar and word choices can be improved. Finally, and I hate to say it, it may simply be too close to the story "reincarnated as a slime" which is doing well for views. Of course this is just my opinion. You stated at the top of your chapters that they are not edited, this explains many of these things but many readers crave a reading experience that flows smoothly.
Thank you for your review. I'll try to come back to rework on my earlier chapter and improve as it go.
Wait, is MC just gonna be possessed by a symbiote? I was hoping she'd become the symbiote...
Maybe another novel
Although... that might not be a bad idea for another story to write.
Grand Elder Yao Shi, only wife to Yao Bai.
(Yao Ba only wife).
does not bold well for
(bode) well for.
, and chance upon the flower I had given to you
and (chanced) upon the.
you were injure for her sake.
you were (injured) for her sake.