∼ Day 65 ∼ |
Upon hearing my words, the uncertain demeanor of the woman before me took a sudden turn. Replacing the gaze of uncertainty and exhausted concession was a firm determination and a hint of what looked like teasing anger. She had utterly masked her previous insecurities, but I doubted they were completely gone underneath that visage of womanly charm.
Dropping the sobbing woman that had attacked me from the hold I had on her throat, I took in the sight of the beauty before me.
Lily was as beautiful as ever. She was a woman of devious proportion, from her sexy charms to the deadly cunning underneath the veil of seductiveness. She was outfitted in the same adventuring gear as I remembered from our previous encounter.
The daggers strapped to either hip and an elegant sword on her belt. Form-fitting leather encasing most of her upper body, but still allowing for maximum mobility and flexibility. Black boots made for traveling and matching leather stockings that hugged the flesh of her long and slender legs, the pale skin spilling over almost making me salivate.
Finishing off the look, and also complimenting her angular facial features, was her trademark ponytail of jet-black hair that ran down her back. She noticed my scanning gaze, and with mock anger, stormed over to me only to punch me in the shoulder, eliciting a yelp of pain from me.
"Ouch! What was that for?" - Me
I asked with an equally exaggerated hurtful expression. The punch didn't really hurt, only feeling like a small ache. She had superhuman attributes, but all were essentially put towards agility and dexterity, so it rather felt like the tantrum punch of one's little sister more than anything.
"That's for putting me in all this trouble!" - Lily
"My fault? Wasn't it you that let me go? If you really wanted to capture me or kill me, why didn't you just do so?" - Me
"Stupid, I can't simply bring a monster into a city." - Lily
She explained.
"Besides, I had a... gut feeling that it would turn out rather interesting if I simply let you leave." - Lily
"Gut feeling? You let me go on a gut feeling?" - Me
I asked incredulously.
"Argh, just shut it... Let's go already, I seriously need to get out of these boots. They're killing me." - Lily
Looking incredulously at the woman who suddenly sauntered past me, moving towards the greenskins in the distance, I was stupefied for a whole second or two. Something I'm apparently very susceptible to whenever this woman was around.
"Uh, what are you doing? Your country is in the other direction..." - Me
I pointed out.
"I no longer have a place there. So, are you really going to let a vulnerable woman like me, be left alone to the devices of man? You monster!" - Lily
She said, the teasing glint in her eyes almost palpable.
Yeah sure... 'vulnerable'. It totally isn't like you could almost take on half that army by yourself, and still escape...
Before leaving, I turned to the corpse of the general and with the conjuring of Blood Shaping, I commanded his blood to my beckoning.
[Siphon] [You've consumed the blood of a Human!] [72601 points of EXP has been acquired and stats have been added] |
Throwing the woman at my feet a dismissive glance, I looked out to the horrified human soldiers out in the field.
"Leave my people alone, in turn, I will leave yours alone. It's that simple. Relay that message to whoever your higherups are." - Me
With that said, I spared them no more attention as I followed Lily's lead, heading home.
***
Walking through the glades with a precession of hundreds of greenskins, the atmosphere grew rather odd. They kept shooting odd glances towards the human, Lily, who was teasingly chatting with me. They didn't understand Mordrian so they didn't know what we were talking about, but they all had the same thing on their minds.
Why was the Master allowing a human to accompany him?
But Bob and Mia had completely different reactions to the situation. Bob didn't seem to care in the slightest, simply having the goofy but proud expression of walking side-by-side with his master. However, I wasn't sure what to make of Mia's reaction. She hadn't said anything since we started walking back, but her eyes were glued to the lithe and tall woman chatting with me.
She kept scanning her up and down, nodding at times like she was taking mental notes. I felt a bit odd about the whole situation. I wasn't sure if Mia felt challenged by Lily's presence, but she hadn't voiced her objections yet, so I could only ask her later.
Before we reached half-way through the glades, I told Bob, Mia, and Lily, to continue home as I had something I needed to take care of.
Conjuring my shadow wings, Lily let out an appreciative whistle.
"Real ominous. I like it." - Lily
Shaking my head at the seductive note in her voice, I simply took to the air.
It didn't take long before I reached my destination, a serene lake close to the center of the glade. Standing at the bank, I gazed across to the other side, my eyes firm.
"I'm here, I did as you requested." - Me
Suddenly, as if beckoned by my voice, shadows very much like those of my own started to coalesce from the treeline. They swirled up to form a ball of shadows in the center of the lake. Dissipating, the shadows revealed the hulking figure of a jet-black horse, its gaze directed towards my much smaller figure.
The Glade Guardian.
It stood on the water as if it was solid ground, not even causing a ripple to disturb the surface. My entire body tensed as I felt its world consuming aura for the second time since arriving in this world, no less dominating than it was when I was merely an overgrown mosquito. Even with all the power I've gained, we were still worlds apart.
Knowing this caused a chill to run down my spine.
With an elegant gait, it approached me, each of its steps somehow seeming like they contained some profound truth that I could not comprehend or grasp. It stopped only a few meters from the bank and I had to crane my neck because of its massive size. As I gazed up into its eyes of molten silver, I felt a resonance, but surprisingly not one of my own body - but one of the relic on my ear.
So my relic, the [Heirloom of Sanguinity] does actually have something to do with this strange monster of immense power...?
I wanted to speak, but I found myself unable to.
The huge creature only gazed at my figure before giving me what seemed like a nod of appreciation. Lifting one of its giant legs, it tapped the bank of where I stood. Streaming from its body, some shadows coalesced to reveal a strikingly similar box to the one I had originally found my relic in.
Done with its end of our agreement, the looming shadow horse was once again consumed by shadows, only to dissipate, the Glade Guardian utterly gone from sight. Regaining my ability to command my own body, I shook the small vestiges of fear in my body to shout out across the serene lake.
"Just what are you!? What do you have to do with Prometheans and Relics!?" - Me
However, there was no answer. I couldn't help but shaking my head disappointedly at the lack of disclosure from this mysterious being.
All of this started when I mobilized my forces against the humans. I had originally wanted to use the glades and the dense forest as the stage for the battle if one were to break out since my hobgoblins and orcs would have a much greater advantage against the humans' formations and battle tactics here.
But upon me and my army of greenskin's departure from the tribe to meet the enemy forces, I all of a sudden got a thought transmission, exactly like how the Glade Guardian communicated with me back when it cut me off from killing more rabbits in the glades.
I was told that it did not wish for either me or the humans to cause havoc in this domain and advised me to do it outside of the glades.
Not one to piss off a being capable of snuffing out my life with a stomp, I was already going to adhere to its request. But to my delight, it even proposed a reward if I managed to fend off the humans and make sure they wouldn't be back to disturb it for the foreseeable future. I had no idea what to expect as a reward from an all-powerful being, but I definitely didn't expect this.
[The blood of a Promethean Candidate has been detected] [The Sanctioned Lord meets all requirements to unseal the relic] [Do you wish your Heirloom of Sanguinity to consume this relic?] [Yes/No] |
-Yes-
Accepting the prompt, I popped open the box in my hands to reveal the same recognizable block of molten silver surrounded by black velvet cloth. Taking the silver block into my hands, I watched it liquify. Instead of forming another heirloom as it did when I found my first relic, it instead started crawling up my arm and towards my neck.
However, I wasn't worried at all. I let the relic do its work, crawling up to the [Heirloom of Sanguinity] on my ear. The instant it touched the silvery surface of intricate design, all of the molten silver liquid was sucked into the heirloom like it was a vacuum cleaner. Abruptly, I felt the connection between my heirloom and me strengthen, including the effect of increased mental control of magic.
But there was another distinct feeling that told me something... curious.
Through my heirloom, I knew instinctually that if I gave it another relic, it would cause a transformative change. Something that would substantially empower it.
I put the box into my [Ring of Holding] to sit next to my first relic box and the pile of miscellaneous items I looted from the encounter with the Azure Claw mercenary group and the Ebongrave caravan. Giving one last glance at the seemingly inconspicuous lake before I conjured my shadow wings and took flight.
***
Returning to the sides of Bob, Mia, and Lily, I was happy to see that nothing bad had occurred during my momentary absence.
But to my surprise, the atmosphere seemed to have changed in that small amount of time I was gone. Lily now seemed to beam with dangerous mischief, whereas Mia had adopted a thoughtful expression as she barely noticed where she was walking. Looking skeptically at the two women, I just sighed hopelessly.
I wouldn't even try to guess what had happened while I was gone.
***
Arriving back at the tribe, I called for everybody to assemble in the center grounds before they all returned to work on the tribe's development. By now it had already turned dusk, the moonlight and torches the only things lighting up the area. Standing upon a raised wooden platform, stood I with Mia, Bob, and Lily to my sides as we overlooked all the many faces, both green and red.
"I've gathered you all here today to announce what lays in store for the future of the tribe." - Me
They all listened vehemently to my words. Ever since they've recognized the power that my blood brings and seeing the display of the fight between the general and me, I've basically won over all of their greenskin hearts.
To be honest, they practically worshipped me as a diety, since not only do I grant them power beyond that of their peers, but I also wield strength beyond anything they've seen before.
If anything, that meant godhood in the eyes of wild greenskins. While it was rather uncomfortable to receive such treatment since I had only barely been a young man two months ago, I didn't reject it. I accepted what came with power. The treatment, the honor, the responsibility.
"During my time away, I've realized that these lands are too weak for the future of my people and me. They do not grant the power and opportunity that other lands promise. But also, we rest on the borders of a hostile human kingdom that I wish no involvement with, especially their petty politics." - Me
"That is why I will migrate our forces inward, to take control of newer lands within the depths of the wastelands." - Me
Hearing this, many of the greenskins were became unruly. They were torn between leaving their ancestral birth grounds while also being excited to gain new power and explore.
"But that doesn't mean I will abandon this place completely. The Blood Moon Tribe will remain to build and fortify itself here. For those who will stay behind, I will assign positions of power and authority. They will all still be under the rule and protection of me, the Sanguine Lord, however, it will be up to you to grow and prosper." - Me
This matter was something I had already discussed with Bob and Mia. Since this place was simply too low level and inconvenient, it would actually end up hampering the growth of not only myself but also my followers. I wished to explore, conquer, and grow. However, I couldn't do it from my safe little perch here.
So instead of completely uprooting the tribe, I decided to let it stay and grow on its own.
I believe it was damn time to see what this world truly had in store for me.
Kind of a mixed reaction on this chapter.
For one I like the thinking of the mc for battle and to move the tribe. He is using some strategy with his plan to fight in the woods, but changing it to an open field battle. It shows that he is an intelligent monster. The same thing can be said about him noticing how there isn't great potential for growth. I would say that he should of thought of this before he planted the tree but perhaps he will leave it behind.
My issues with the chapter is with Lily's actions and the treasure he got from the glade guardian. For the treasure I just find it too convenient that where he grew up has the exact set item that he needs. Too much plot armor for my tastes but not that big of a deal.
Bigger deal is why did Lily come with the mc? You gave the excuse that she didn't have a place to return to since the humans knew about her involvement with the mc but the thing is she revealed all that. She approached the mc. She talked about there past. She didn't act like someone would if a secret big enough for exile was being exposed. I don't really understand her behavior/reactions to it all. Doesn't make sense. Only thing I could think of that would make sense would be she did something much worse before this like stealing something priceless.
However, if she did that why would she go to a monster kingdom with a monster she barely even knows? Why not try to run away to a human kingdom where she could live like she wanted to? Once she leaves the mc's area of influence she has nothing to fall back to. Its way too forced. There should have been more build up to her defection and more interaction with the mc.
i agree here, I was kinda confused on why Lily suddenly went with the MC with little to no explanation.
@DarkeReises if I must add for the sake of the author, probably BS from the human side. So after weighing her options, she decides to camp inside MC's lair instead of going back or even wander around the human countries.
1. If she goes back with the army, she will take the fall for everything for sure.
2. If she run, they can create more excuses and ultimately she cannot stay in the human countries.
Although... the point of staying in MC's lair just makes my point 2 more valid, seeing how in the end, those with political agendas will make up excuses to remove her.
@NotaNuffian How would she take the fall if she goes back with the human army? No one knows about her connection with the mc except for the two of them really. Plus, the connection is from when he was a different monster and only she knows the energy of both monsters match. So no one besides herself or the mc could connect the two of them.
Also It was a personal grudge of the girl she saved that brought this "witch hunt" and it was her family's general who died in battle. Since Lily is a part of another large noble family they have to have damning evidence to do anything to her(otherwise they already would have). With the death of this top general, the noble family that Lily is enemies of would be weakened greatly.
If anything Lily's best thing to do would be to just stay back and let the mc kill that girl. She did not want to come along on this trip. She was not "leading them in a trap." There is no proof anyway that she has directly tied to this.
@KidBuu699 - Okay, whew. This is going to be a long one.
All of those questions are meant to be obscure and have multiple chapters' worth of backstory and reasoning behind them; not something I can cram into a single chapter.
Another hurdle is that in the web-novel format, there's a demand for answers of each chapter, whereas a book doesn't face such a problem. So I often face the situation of having to say "Wait for the next chapters, then you'll understand", otherwise, I would have to write spoilers of the story twenty chapters ahead in each comment section.
That said, I think I have to give you guys something - so here we go. (Spoilers ahead)
Jubokko seed:
Just because it has had a few days of growing in the ground, that doesn't mean it can't be replanted.
Glade Guardian:
First, the Glade Guardian will have huge importance later on in the story. And you'll be surprised when you realize its true identity and how it relates to the creation of the wastelands (Legends and lore you will learn about in the next twenty chapters). But the coincidence of the MC's starting location and the Guardian's connection to relics and Prometheans isn't what "Plot Armor" is.
When do you think he became a Promethean candidate/sanctioned lord; recently, or has he technically been since the get-go? Then he arrived in the world close to a creature related to exactly those things.
(Maybe it isn't a coincidence; yeah, I know - big mind blow.)
Lily:
The MC is just as confused as you are, but just because there isn't an instant explanation of every single thing happening; that doesn't mean there isn't one.
As the next twenty chapters unfold, you will learn and hear from Lily herself, legends, lore, inner workings of the world, and her very own backstory and why the hell she not only spared a monster but also joined him. Cut very short, I can say that she has a troubled past, no good ties with her familiy, no place to go back to, and a strong motive driving her to strive further.
I won't say anything further, but believe me when I say; Yes, there is practically a reason for each thing that has happened in the story so far that will all come to light later on.
I hope that this explained for all those who still wondered as I really can't go on and spoil anything more.
I agree!
@Konge Thanks chief, very helpful. I guess we're in for a sh*t ton of world-building soon lol
@DarkeReises You sure are, buckle in son - we're here for the long ride.
@DarkeReises No, like seriously - I literally have enough world-building written down to continue this story for another 1000 chapters solely on that.
@Konge Ah man, now I don't know whether to move this into my "stacking" list for a few weeks. Eh, I probably won't because I'm running out of novels to read, so keeping up with the weekly content is the only thing keeping me sane nowadays...
@Konge First two I either agree or can understand. Middle and last I think you need to do more work on. I do hope that this comes off as constructive criticism below.
So the seed I can understand. The tree hasn't had that long to grow yet and the mc might even leave it behind as a sort of guardian of the village.
Now moving on to the two I think you need a lot more work on. Well only one I think you need more work on is Lily. A big thing here is foreshadowing.
With the Glade guardian with your spoiler I have an idea of what you are going to do with it. I would suggest though perhaps mentioning a "dark stead" or something like that when the legend/destiny of the Sanguine is mentioned. Make a little bread crumb that can lead to it.
Lily though needs a lot of bread crumbs. Once again from your tag her backstory would be explained in the next 20 chapters or so. I would suggest taking some of the most important parts of that and filling them in before this event. Example would be as we are seeing the mc suffer in the arena we have a "filler" of what is happening to her at the moment. Perhaps she even has a flashback during whatever event is happening to her. We're on chapter what 107, I think you have plently of space for some filler paragraphs or even half of chapters.
#2 is to make a bigger connection between Lily and the mc. They met 1 time and she decides to throw her lot in with him? If the girl was having as much trouble as you suggest then she has to have an exit strategy and I would bet that it would involve one of the monster lords(such as Orc king/princess) instead of the mc. To fix this instead of breadcrumbs you need a bigger event. You need to show not only her original exit strategy failing but also a reason for her to pick the mc.
Such an example would be that she was a part of that group that raided the monster caravan and she spoke to the mc and he spared her. But even with this I would suggest a "blade over her neck" type event that forces her to move before she really figures out the mc.
So to sum it up The first spoiler tag I agree with you with. The second spoiler tag I would suggest a little bit of foreshadowing to help connect it all. However, the last one I think you need to build more upon by both putting some filler chapters in earlier to help paint the picture and an event to re-introduce the mc and Lily. With how the mc reacted to the idea of human spies why would he just let a potential one walk right past him into his clan?
Anyway best of luck.
@DarkeReises Know the feeling, I personally have a multitude of series, manga, manhwa, and all a whole other assortment of weekly stuff to get me through the day.
Well, I can tell you that if the future is going as planned for me, I'm soon going to suddenly have a lot more time on my hands, meaning that I can probably bump the release schedule of Sanguine Paradise back up to five chapters a week. Monday-Friday. (That is if everything goes as planned)
Also, I'm really looking into getting that Discord server up and running.
@KidBuu699 I do realize it's constructive criticism and that you've followed and engaged with this story for quite a while. So no worries, I'm very appreciative of that.
Addressing the Glade Guardian first, I can reveal that there are hidden breadcrumbs for the creature's relation spread out through the story already, however, I won't reveal them as it would spoil quite a bit. But if you can figure it out, props to you.
The only hint I can give as proof for this is;
Ghoul Pit
As for 'breadcrumbs' for Lily, I think you've missed some as I've already laid a few. If you do not remember, we were introduced to Lily all the way back in chapter 22, and since, from the interaction, we were already shown that her motives were irregular at best. But connect them with what you know now, and what you'll learn in the next chapters, the whole painting will become rather clear.
(Big Lily clues dropped at chapter "22" "50" "81" "104", there's already been quite a bit of foreshadowing)
But yes, I do realize I could've done a lot of things better with her and the story. Because this is my first story, I kinda just jumped headfirst out into it without any direction at all. As such, there are occasionally some odd dynamics that I'm trying to flatten out.
@Konge For your first story, I gotta say, this is f*cking phenomenal. At first when I first started using ScribbleHub(only a few months ago now) and I saw Sanguine Paradise, for whatever reason I was hesitant to read it, and then when I finally started I got hooked. I can confidently say this is one of my favorite novels of all time. Also, I'm riding first class on the hype train for that discord server, you better get ready for all hell to break loose. I haven't been active in a discord server for probably over a year now, but my second wind is gonna be nuclear.
@DarkeReises Thanks, seriously means a lot.
- And, that second wind better be, looking forward to it.
@Konge I remember in one of my old discord servers that I ran, I had an entire user-ran economy. Bots are super f*cking fun.
@DarkeReises true, they can do a lot of crazy shit. I studied on a programming line for three years, all of my classmates some genius motherf*ckers. They actually programmed multiple bots for our discord server with our Math and Programming teacher as the owner lmao.
@Konge Haha my friend the other day was asking me for ideas for random bots to make. Sadly I'm too stupid for programming and stuff lol. But yeah, that sh*t gets real crazy.
@Konge You're doing very good job overall for the story. Doesn't matter if its your first or not its one of the better ones out there.
Now the breadcrumbs you mentioned with Lily I can see a little bit but not enough to make a connection to the mc. We know she is from an important family. We know that she has some problems by being "exiled" to this adventurer guild in the middle of nowhere. And we know that she doesn't hold extreme pride in her country(let countrymen die in front of her). Lily being the type of character who would be willing to leave is foreshadowed by this but what I think you need to do more of is to tie her into the mc's story. Try to make the roadmaps of their stories come together.
For any novels that have a hint of a harem in them some of the main problems is that girls appear out of nowhere, instantly connected to the mc, and fall in love quickly. And then you have the mc leave the area for some reason and repeat the process all over again(to be honest I was surprised he didn't bring anyone with him back from the arena arc). This is what it seems like for Lily because of it escalating so quickly.
In the end of your comment you meant there are things you "could've done a lot of things better with her/story" and for that I will just say that the story isn't written in stone. I've used sites like this one for a couple of years and some of the best stories are ones where the author takes a work he has already done and rework it. I'm not saying you have to go to that extremes just saying that you can change things if you want. Polish it if when you finish you think its worth it. Or move on to your next story with new knowledge.
Best of luck
@Konge i thought it was already pretty obvious that lily did not have good ties with her family and stuff bcause a couple chapters ago that commander said something like she was the black sheep in her family and i thought she said even more than that but idk anymore. TFTC
@thescorpiona i did not read further for the comments that referred to such hints pls forgive me (cant find a blob for dogeza srry)
@Konge Thanks. It is best control spoiler which destroy suspense.