Finding my Power

I was currently sulking outside on the grass. After triumphantly coming back and giving my grandiose speech, I didn’t think they wouldn’t believe me. Well, that wasn’t necessarily the case. At first, they simply thought I was joking, however, upon realizing that indeed no one came after me and that I was the only one who returned, they believed me. They had come to retrieve the injured soldier with me, and he was now lying inside the safe house on the bed.

 

However, believing in me doesn’t matter if none of them will take me seriously! Frankly, I believe that they would be all raring to go and save Christine… however they more or less just sulked like me. 

 

Their reasoning was, if everyone else could get obliterated, then there was not a snowball’s chance in hell that they were going to stand a chance. I really don’t blame them, however, how can you call yourself soldiers if you’re going to be acting like this? I needed to come up with a way to get their spirits up! Wait… spirits?

 

If I was able to convince them that I could protect them, then they’ll have some hope left. These people didn’t seem to have much knowledge of what spirits are or anything like that, so I can’t just say that I’m magical. I needed a way to show them, with actions.

 

However, the main problem with that is that I don’t currently actually have the ability to be able to call upon my power at will. Sure I could tell them that I protected Christine from the fire magic, however, if I couldn’t replicate it, I would not be able to convince them, let alone have them trust me in the battle. 

 

Searching through my memories of all the times I used my power, I tried to find connections between the instances. The first time I had used this power was when I jumped over the river in desperation. The second time was when I was falling off the cliff. The third was when I protected Christine and I from certain death.

 

What did all of these instances have in common? Desperation? In all cases, my mind was clouded by the thought of having to survive. However, if it was simply the thought of survival, then why weren't there other instances of me using my power? Why didn’t my power manifest when the raiders attacked Aeolian’s Post? There has to be something else to this.

 

Do I need to be in a life-threatening situation for it to happen? That could certainly be the case… however, in that case, it isn’t that reliable. There has to be another way to activate this. 

 

Maybe I could start by looking at it from a fundamental standpoint? What do I know about magic and spirits so far? If I recall correctly, there is something called the fabric of magic that envelopes the world. I had tried to see it earlier but… why had that failed? Christine mentioned that humans couldn’t see it, however spirits could. When Sebastian used magic, it was as if he pulled the magic around him together, condensing it. 

 

Was that the reason why I could see it? Perhaps the current itself normally was very thin, spread out like paper. If it only became visible when concentrated, that would explain that question.

 

Christine said that spirits don’t abide by the laws of humanity. But… that just means that spirits do whatever they want right? Do whatever they want… so do spirits just use their magic without a care? Almost as if it were natural to them.

 

This particular train of thought reminded me of the commander of the enemy. When she waved her hand, it felt so natural. And when her hand ignited, it was almost as if the fire was an extension of her.

 

I need to forfeit whatever part of me that still believes I’m a human. I wasn’t one and I had to accept that fact. This isn’t a power that I acquired. It isn’t something that I draw upon from, but something in itself. It is a part of me.

 

Just like the blood flowing through my veins, even though I couldn’t feel it, I knew it exists within me. If it was a part of me, then I would be able to sense it instinctually. A sort of premonition to say. Like the wind against my skin or water down my throat, it's something that you can’t grasp physically but something you can feel against you.

 

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on both nothing and everything. It was something that I have never experienced before, but precisely because of that, I could find it. If I were to even grasp the tiniest straw, it would all fall in place like dominos.

 

The wind against my skin, the breathing in my lungs, the saliva in my mouth, all of these sensations surrounded me. I needed to isolate it to a singularity. There was too much noise going on. All of these sensations that I feel on a day to day basis, turned off. One by one, until there is nothing left but the feeling of magic. The feeling of magic in the spirits within me. The biological process.

 

*spark*

 

There it is. I could feel the current surrounding me, enveloping me, and inside me. It's as if surrounded by a pool of water, utterly calming and peaceful. It's as if it were a flame in the dark, illuminating the night with its ferocity. It’s like hunger, a primal force within. I didn’t know what the spirits of my body felt like, just like I don’t know what the organs in my body feel like. However, because of that and in spite of it, I could feel the mana coursing through my body. A single tug and the fabric bent here, a single touch and a ripple coursed through the air. 

 

In the center of it all, stood the flower I had encountered way back when. It served as a catalyst inside me. Shaping this vague ocean of mana around me into something tangible.

 

I slowly opened my eyes with newfound understanding. I held my hand out, and in the palm of my hand danced a little swirl of wind. I still don’t have complete control over it, but it was a start. Clutching my hand in a fist, I was determined to hone this to an acceptable level. A level in which I can show the soldiers around me that I could protect them and save them from danger. This was our ticket to victory.

 

Brimming with vigor I marched through the camp and into the forest. I could notice eyes wander towards me as they wondered what I was up to, however I paid them no heed. I only had one goal in mind. I had already been going out foraging for medicinal herbs for our injured patient and berries for our diminishing food supplies, so it wasn’t particularly strange that I was heading out. Just… strange that I was heading out with such a bright and cheerful attitude.. that’s all.

 

After 15 or so minutes, I arrived at the tree that I climbed to scout out the area in order to find my way back to the camp. Why this tree you may ask? There was no particular reason honestly. It just felt like this tree represented something more to me. A symbol that I can achieve something.

 

Concentrating, I funneled the current into my catalyst, directing it into the material realm. A small breeze erupted from my fingertips. I needed more, this wouldn’t cut it. I greedily pulled in more, caring not to go too overboard. It was still quite difficult to get a firm grasp on it, but I could direct it like blowing wind on water. I’m sure with much practice, I would be able to manipulate it more easily. 

 

First a breeze, then a gust, then a gale, I relentlessly attacked the tree day after day. Every day, I walked to this location to practice. I could see the soldiers curiously watching as I trudged along camp every day, but none bothered to follow me. Some even stopped bothering, thinking of this like a normal occurrence. No matter though, I was going to prove to them, prove to them the fruits of my labor.

 

---

 

Just under a week had passed, and we were running really low on provisions. We estimated that we would have about 3 or so more days left until we ran out of food. As such, we should probably be preparing to ditch this place and find a safer area. I had planned to show them what I could do tomorrow, however something quite unexpected happened.

 

It was dark, and the night was long. I was lying in bed by myself, staring at the ceiling. It was oddly strange not having someone by my side. Perhaps I had gotten too used to Christine being here. The reason why I was awake was that I couldn’t sleep. I mean, it only makes sense, as I was planning on showing everyone what I was capable of tomorrow… which just so happened to be the day we decided to leave. 

 

It was probably around 12:30 am if I were to guess. There were still people outside mulling about, hence why the fireplace was lit. We knew it was dangerous as lighting a fire could attract our enemy to our location, but the main concern was the smoke which was hidden in the night. As for the light, they probably just didn’t care anymore. My main concern was whether they still kept Christine alive or not. I mean, it had been a week after all.

As I was lying around, a loud beast-like roar erupted outside. Bolting up in alarm, I pushed open the door to check the situation. What I was met with was a buldobear. They’re a hulking monstrosity, the size of a medium sized wagon. It had a huge overbite, making its numerous razor sharp teeth visible. It had around 10-15 small sleek spikes sticking out of it, making it look like the quills of a porcupine. It’s large paws were about the size of my head, with 3 sharp claws extruding out from it.

 

Typically, buldobears live alone in the wild and don’t attack human settlements, but when they do they require quite a force to deal with them. If a buldobear recognized that this was a lost fight, then they would flee, not after putting up a big struggle though. 

 

Everyone was outside, swords at the ready. I quickly grabbed my staff to join them. Although I wouldn’t be realistically much help, just an extra number could be the deciding factor between the buldobear staying or leaving. 

 

I saw one of the soldiers who managed to make its way behind the creature lunge at it, attempting to make a strike. However, just as he got close enough, I heard the bear snort and get into a stance, which signaled the attacking soldier to back off. The beast was aware of him there, so a surprise attack would do no good. A reckless strike could be playing into a trap. 

 

Suddenly, the beast lunged out at a soldier in front of it. Managing to soften to blow with his sword, the impact sent him back. Taking on the opportunity given, the other soldiers lunged in and started attacking the beast. The buldobear howled in pain and frustration as it spun around, flinging everyone off of it. 

 

As everyone was getting back on their feet, the beast charged forwards, towards me!! I quickly ran towards the side to avoid being hit by a stampeding bulderbear. It trampled through the lit fireplace which spread the burning pieces of wood towards the safehouse, which caused it to erupt in a pile of flames.

 

My eyes widened. If this flame were to continue onwards, it would swallow up where we keep our provisions and we wouldn’t have any food left! I don’t know why the bulderbear targeted me, but I needed to get into safety to put out the fire.

 

“Get this bulderbear off me! I’m going to put out the fire!”

 

It seemed like they understood. In the heat of the battle, there wasn’t time to doubt the words of someone. If I said I could accomplish something, then they might as well believe it to ensure their chances of success. 

 

However, as the soldiers got back up on their feet and charged towards the bulderbear, it took in a deep breath and stomped on the ground while blowing it all out, which lifted a bunch of dust into the air as a dust cloud.

 

The cloud of dust blinded our eyes by causing particles to go into them and generally just obscured our vision. More importantly though, it created a gust of wind, right next to the fire! The flames were currently not that big, however if the wind were to continue to blow and feed it, it would become a towering inferno that I wouldn’t be able to put out.

 

Thinking quick on my feet, I quickly stood in between and drew upon my ability. I could feel the magic well up inside me and it expelled out in a huge gust of wind, stopping the incoming wind from feeding the flames and simultaneously clearing the dust.

 

My bun, having gotten loose in the heat of the moment, frayed out around me, unbound. Illuminated by the flames behind me and coupled with the floating, it made me give off a really powerful and grandiose atmosphere.

 

With the moment of clarity given, the soldiers quickly used that opportunity to attack and slash at the buldobear. It was bleeding quite heavily now so I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned tail and fled. In fact, I would’ve loved it if you did it faster!

 

I ran towards the store house as I got into a good position to blow the flames away. I needed to concentrate so as to not accidentally fuel the flames. I needed to conjure up my power to blow it away in as few blasts as possible.

 

A drop in a pond, a breeze in the wind, I felt my mind clear. I gathered up the mana around me, funneling it, refining it. More, I needed more to douse this fire. Drawing up from the depths of the wells, it accumulated inside me. I could feel it welling up in my veins, through my arms, into my fingertips.

 

From my hand burst out a large gale that swept across the entire safe house. The fire swayed violently as it desperately fought to keep itself alive. However, despite its best efforts, it was drowned away by the torrent of wind.

 

The only thing remaining now was the tattered remains of burnt wood and ashes. It seems like the soldiers had driven away the bulderbeast while I was fighting off the fire as well. I could feel their eyes on me as they gasped in shock at what I had just done. 

 

I faced them

 

“Men! This is how I protected Lady Christine from the flames, and this is how I will protect all of you as well. We have fought together numerous times, but we will not run once more. We will not let our comrades die in vain. If you shall follow me in saving Christine, I can guarantee that you will be rewarded for your efforts!”

 

My authoritative voice swept through them, bolstered by the scent of victory. I had just proved myself to them and gave them an even greater incentive for them to fight. Well, that last statement was a bit of an over assumption, however, there was no doubt in my mind that Christine indeed would reward them for their bravery. All there was to do now, is to fight.