A gentle tune was coming to me through the edges of my dreamland. I was somewhere in between the dream and the reality, where things started to melt and mend together.
"AAAARGH!"
"FUCK!" I sat up immediately with my vision clearing up in an instance. Frightened from the sudden scream of a man.
A few seconds later, I understood that it was the tune I set up as an alarm clock on my phone.
"FUCK ME!" I took the phone and turned off the music. It started with a gentle tune that turned into a rather loud metal song. I hated it so much, yet it was really effective at waking me up.
"Now that I think about it, I don't remember setting up an alarm clock." as I looked around, I understood one thing.
I was alone.
Violetta was gone while my clothes were still lying on the floor. If I remember correctly, we booked the room for a whole day, so I still had some time to wash up.
"The night was wild."
As I went to the bathroom, the things we did were still vivid in my mind. One more evidence of the things we did was in the mirror. Looking at my reflection, I saw that I had a whole string of teeth marks as well as hickeys going down from my neck toward my shoulder and chest.
Strangely enough, I didn't have as much of a reaction as I had last time. And my heart was peaceful. I've had this hope that we would eventually forget the animosity between us, and the thing we've done in bed will help with it.
And judging by her reaction, she was indeed walking in that direction with the way she screamed while we had sex. I even remember her shouting how much she loved it.
After taking a long bath, I went out and started gathering my clothes. It got creased slightly, but overall it looked okay. Dusting everything off, I put my clothes on and thanked God that I chose a turtleneck sweater instead of something else.
Hiding the marks she left on my body, I took the phone and remembered that I needed to meet Mara and return the money to her. As I took my bag, I remembered something else.
"I started recording, huh." as I took the small camera, it looked like it was working the whole night.
"Interesting how much it actually recorded?" I didn't put it in a specific position and just threw it into the bag, so it was probably recording the insides of my bag. I put the camera to charge so I can check what it managed to record.
"Talking about the insides of my bag." As I looked through it, all the documents that I needed to get my stipend were there. After sorting everything out, it was time for me to leave.
I took the camera and looked through it. It seemed that it caught at least a part of what happened at night.
Feeling that I was rather lucky, I went down. Leaving the key at the reception, I attracted a few gazes from the staff, but it was a small price to pay.
Achieving everything that I needed, I felt refreshed. I could concentrate on training while deciding what I want to do later on.
Life was great.
It was my honest feeling. Even the meeting with Mara didn't feel so terrible to me at the moment.
Looking at the map through my phone, I arrived at the campus rather quickly using public transport.
The classes were still going on.
I've already sent a message to Mara that I would be here soon. I've messaged her again that I'm here and I would take the money.
Finding my way to the cashier's office was easy. It was in the middle of the tower. A few cubicle-like rooms all had the same insides. A small glass table and a chair. The cashier was sitting behind the bank-like wall with a small window to exchange the documents and money. As I was filling in some blanks while the cashier checked the documents, I saw that Mara was already waiting for me behind the glass door.
Ten or so minutes I was out with the money. Some things turned out to be tricky for me as I wasn't the same Erlig, but I somehow managed to fill them in, using other documents as a reference.
"Took you a long time." she bared her teeth in a grin.
"Sorry, I was busy with the training." I could only shrug.
It was getting rather chilly with the winter coming close. That's why she was wearing thigh-high black leather boots. This and the tight blue jeans emphasized her long and beautiful legs.
On top, she wore a black overcoat and a simple red t-shirt. Her bangs were held by a hair clip, and she had her usual piercings.
"Aren't you dressed lightly?" She gave me an assessing gaze.
"I'm fine." I shook my head. "Here's the money." I wanted to get everything out of the way before judging what to do later.
I pulled a stack of cash that I stuffed into the bag a few seconds ago. As she looked through it with a rather bored expression, I was somehow getting nervous.
After she finished counting, she hid the part of her face with the cash, but I could see her eyes smiling. "You are short on a few thousand surs."
"Surs or sur" was the currency here, and it was cheaper than dollars in my previous life. However, a few thousand was still an amount I couldn't just pull out anytime soon.
I rubbed my nose bridge. "You did it intentionally, did you?" I gave her an accusing gaze. How can I believe in her words and feelings if she acts like this?
"I didn't do it intentionally." she pouted. "You may not believe me, so let's talk about this while we eat. How about it?" She sounded apologetic, but she couldn't hide how happy she was.
"Whatever, I give up."
"Then let's hurry up and eat at the cafeteria." she finally took the cash away and stuffed it into the depths of her overcoat. Her smile bloomed even brighter.
Now that I think about it, I was hungry, all the night's exercise drained me, and I felt like I could eat a whole cow. There weren't many people in the canteen. Mostly athletes who were on a break while the students were attending the lessons at the moment. As we both took a plate full of food, we went to a table.
As soon as we sat down, I started stuffing myself with food. I always was the type who couldn't prolong the pleasure from eating and ate rather quickly if there wasn't something interrupting me.
"You may not believe me…" I heard Mara starting to talk before gulping the tea she ordered. "But I didn't have any intentions of making you indebted."
I creased my eyebrows.
"I know what you think, don't give me that look." She pouted. "I thought about it a lot."
"About what?" I swallowed a big chunk of bread.
"You said let's start as friends, didn't you?"
I nodded.
"What do the friends do?" She inclined her head sideways and looked at me.
"Cough, cough." I almost choked on the food. "What, what do you mean by that?"
She rolled her eyes, "And what do you think I mean?"
"Don't you have any friends?" I was surprised by this question.
"Of course I have." Mara sounded miffed. "I mean, what do you and your friends do? What do you mean when you say, friends? What is the meaning of this word for you?" she narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to me.
What does a friend mean to me? I was stupefied by this question. I thought about Andrew. It was probably the only friend I ever had in my life. Everyone else was at most a good acquaintance before fading away from my life.
And here I am, in another world. I have a few friends. However, was there a moment when I thought about them as my friends? Probably Jet or Jessie. But I didn't know anything about them. And they didn't know anything about me. If they are good to me, it doesn't mean they have automatically become my friends.
I long ago put down the fork. Whom can I call a friend? And why Andrew became my friend?
"I don't really know." exasperated, I looked at Mara.
"Thought so." she leaned back to her chair and hugged her chest before pointing at me with a flick of her fingers. "How can we become friends if you don't know what a friend is."
I thought about it.
"I think, first of all, we should learn about each other more."
"Uhum."
"We should also have at least some compatible hobbies or something like this."
"Aha."
"And we should be generally interested in being together. That's what a friend is." I almost said it questioningly.
"Then what do you say? Won't you take some of your time to get to know me better?"
"I guess?"
I think I was still influenced by the previous Erlig. I was also looking at Mara through the prism of rumors. She could easily be a girl I didn't want to be around, but I needed to know her at least a little bit better.
And I should as well leave the remains of another person behind.
"I think we should learn about each other more." I nodded.
"Great!" she almost clapped her hands.
"Do you have any plans on how to do it?"
"Yeah, we will use your debt as you yield the choice of what we were going to do. And I've got just the thing to do."
"Spare me from all the mysteries." I winced.
"Don't worry, it will be fun. And by the way, all the mysteries would be unveiled later on. Don't you think it's much more fun?" she licked her lips, and I shuddered.
"Anyway, you can at least say when we are going to do it."
"Oh, I don't really know it myself. I don't have a strict schedule."
"What can It be?" I was puzzled. I probably wasn't a simple cinema or game center. Looking at Mara, it was hard for me to think she would go around places like that.
As I was trying to probe her, she only grew even more pleased while I was half fed up and half eager to figure out what she was talking about.
The atmosphere around our table was cheerful, that's why I didn't notice how the bell that indicated the end of classes rang.
There was one more thing I didn't notice.
How a certain girl passing by us saw us and dropped down her plate.
"Er-Er-Erlig wha-what are you doing with her?"
It was a voice that I knew. It was a voice that made Mara frown immediately and brought me a headache.
As I turned around, I saw Joanne trembling with her whole body.
"Why, why are you with her?"
"Joanne, let me explain." I stood up.
"I think I better leave you two alone." Mara stood up as well. She had a complex expression.
"Wait, Mara…"
"And you better remember the things I told you before and the things you said to me right now." She gave me a meaningful look and turned around.
"What are you two talking about? What did she say to you?" Joanne was pale.
I sighed. "Listen, Joanne, we should talk, and I don't think this is the place."
I barely managed to take her away from the eyes of students, and we walked outside and to one of the backdoor so fewer people would look at us.
As we were walking, I thought about the thing Mara told me. She definitely talked about how I didn't know what a friend is. And what was the second thing?
And when I saw the frightened and longing gaze of Joanne, I think I got what Mara was talking about. I didn't hold any grudge towards Joanne. In fact, I felt pity for her. I don't know why she did what she did. But I'm sure she had genuine feelings for the boy.
"Joanne, can you please listen to me." I tried to smile gently but didn't know if I managed to do this.
She gulped and nodded. Her body was still trembling, and her face was still pale, she was chewing on her lips.
"You can guess that the old Erlig is pretty much dead."
She froze for a second.
"I will never be the same. I changed, and I would probably continue to change."
"Is it…"
I shook my head, "The trauma doesn't have anything to do with it. Though the time it gave me do. I thought about a lot of things." I took a deep breath. "I think we should stop our interactions."
Her gaze that held a tiny bit of hope became dead in a second.
"It's because of Mara, or was it Rose." she almost mumbled this.
"It's not about them. I just don't think I can be your friend."
"And what about Jet?" she started breathing roughly.
"Jet is different…"
"AND ELLE?" She started talking louder.
"We both know that Elle doesn't mind our relationship. If I disappear the next day, she won't worry too much."
"BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!"
"We are done, Joanne."
"You can't do it…" she took my hand and looked at me with her eyes growing wetter. "I can't…"
I barely managed to free myself from her. "Joanne, we both know why there can't be any friendship between us."
She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she pursed her lips. Tears were flowing down from the corners of her eyes.
"Find yourself a good boyfriend, and don't let the things that happened to you before cloud your reason."
"I'm sorry." my last words were an apology. I went away without glancing at Joanne even once.
I had a rather shitty feeling. Taking responsibility for someone else's feelings was fucking awful.
I needed to take a nap back home. As I was walking back towards the school gates, I was suddenly stopped by a security guard.
"Excuse me?" I've never seen one before, and here I am being stopped by one.
"You are student Erlig Grimes?"
"Um, yes, is there something wrong?"
"You were asked to meet the student's guidance counselor."
"Are you sure?" Why would Violetta want to meet me?
He nodded.
"Thanks for notifying me."
Strange, what does she want?
I went through the crowd of students towards the office I saw so many times already. After arriving at the door, I knocked up and entered the room.
There I saw Violetta walking around, taking some papers and shoving them here and there.
"What do you want?" I was in a bad mood, so I didn't even try to be polite.
As she turned around, I saw a smile blooming on her face. However, unlike before, I felt that the smile was genuine. Vicious, sadistic, triumphant, gloating, and relishing were all the words that could describe her smile.
"Student Erlig Grimes." I heard Violetta, who didn't even try to stifle her smile, "You are going to be expelled."
Frankly, it was a long time coming really. What did Joanne expect to happen? I might feel a little sorry about how rough the ending of friendship was, and the fact that they weren't dating either might bring up defenders of her too, however that doesn't dismiss the fact that she banged the dude who tormented and cold-clocked Erlig. You don't get to have both worlds when that happens and he finds out. If she was forced into it that is one thing, but I highly doubt that from how she has acted in the story. So the current one is not wrong about how the old him is 'dead'. You don't come back from that, especially not easily, no matter how much you may have 'feelings' for the person you left out high and dry.
To be honest, it could have been a lot worse if it wasn't the current version of Erlig who didn't even have any feelings for Joanne in the first place, which might have made the friendship breakup a little off-kilter but still needed. If it was the previous Erlig? Who knows what could have happened? If anything she is getting off easy.
So cheers to it. Either way, wonder what the hell is going on with this 'expulsion' crap. Smells a bit like Reid's doing but who knows.
I kinda think it would be a good idea to ask Joanne if she was being blackmailed or something just in case. It's by no means an impossible scenario and given that he's engaged in that himself, it wouldn't be strange for him to wonder about it. I could super easily see a scenario where Reid promises to never hurt Erlig again if Joanne sleeps with him once and she goes along with it, only for him renege on the deal and threaten her with exposure of a secretly made video if she doesn't keep sleeping with him.
That said I don't really have a problem with it going this way either, he seems to have never considered the possibility that she was being blackmailed and that's not implausible I guess given that she's a stranger to him who he doesn't really care about and he has plenty of worries on his plate already. In that light, just firmly cutting things off with her without really trying to be cruel about it seems perfectly reasonable and decent.
Maybe I have to reread the bits with Elle, I was sorta under the impression she at least kind of liked Erlig still. Not enough to refrain from cucking him with Jet presumably (though again blackmail may be a thing cause Jet was super suspicious earlier..). But enough to at least notice if he vanished off the face of the earth like Erlig says here. But who knows, maybe Erlig is underestimating his importance to her here.
Right, time to ask Mara the gangster for help instead of small-time cuckold Jet.
As for supporting ya, depends how much. I have a few dollars to spare but consistent release schedule is a must for me
Poor Joanne, MC just cut her without serious discussion just because 'He' s not 'Erlig'. what a dumbass (still) MC, and Violetta again. Sigh... 30+ ch for Introduction
I believe you should write because you enjoy it not because it's your job to do so, you shouldn't hang your hopes on starting a career as a writer so soon. If you ever get to the point you have enough readers willing to support you, then consider going full time.
That's exactly why I asked this question. I'm just probing.
@SailusGebel I would support you on patreon or something like that as long as I'll have the means to do so. That said, the point I was trying to get across is that this being your first self-published fiction, with a modest following so far, therefore you shouldn't use it to test the waters just yet.
Not trying to be rude but the narrative itself needs extensive revisions, there are simply too many Grammer and syntex errors, your prose also needs to improve. I'm sure you'll get better with time, but these errors will put off many people who's mother tongue is English, and anyone who's mastery of the English language is on par with native speakers. This impedes your story from attracting more readers.
@Sacredriver While I agree with you that there is a lot of grammar mistakes I don't really think it's a thing that hinders me. At least this isn't the main point which turns people off. The main thing that hinders me is a slow pace\slow release as well as those beautiful letters n t r in a title.
@SailusGebel Just throwing in my two cents, those were my thoughts because, well, my biggest gripe with the novel isn't it's weekly release rate, or that the title bears the forbidden word in a website that dishes out so many wish-fulfillment stories you could drown in them, I feel that I can't fully immerse myself because I keep correcting typos or restructuring sentences in my head.