"You should sit down, the show will start soon." as Mara said this, the corners of her lips raised.
Still nervous, I sat in the chair that was standing opposite the one she sat in.
"Relax, no one will bother us, nor will anything happen to you." she giggled, looking at me. "Take a deep breath and exhale once."
"I feel like I soon will be a master of breathing with all the things that have happened to me lately." I tried to shake my stiff shoulders, I also noticed how my jaw was clenched hard.
"ONE-TWO." A loud voice like it came from a cinema audio system startled me.
"CHECK-CHECK." It was followed by more words as the sound gradually got adjusted.
"Hah, honestly, when did all of your bravado leave?" Mara giggled once again. As I turned around, she was already swirling sparkling wine in her glass.
"I'm not good with sudden things like screamers and so forth. I'm not scared or anything like that," I scoffed. I walked towards the guardrail to look from out of the balcony. Yet there was still mostly darkness everywhere, so I returned back to my seat.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE FORTY-SECOND EVENT OF OUR BELOVED 'KHITROV BALLROOM'!"
As this voice once again rang, a lot of loud clicking noises resounded.
"I'M YOUR HOST FOR THIS NIGHT, AN ALL-TIME FAVOURITE CHRISTOPH! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES, AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET'S ENJOY THIS MOMENT OF BARING OUR SOULS AND LEAVING WITHOUT THE SHACKLES OF THE SOCIETY! OH, IT'S TIME, IT'S TIME, IT'S FIIIIIGHTING TIIIIIIIME!!!'' At the end, his voice roughened up and went high while the quality of the sound went down.
And then all the sound was gone, a silence fell upon us, I looked at Mara to understand if anything was good, yet she didn't show any signs of worry as she downed the wine.
I was probably the only one who felt like that, but the tension here was so dense that it could've been cut with a knife.
I stood up and went towards the railing again. That was the moment when the lights started slowly turning on. And along with the light, sound has returned as well. A grey noise followed by something I knew pretty well.
Like it was controlled with a rheostat, the light slowly lit up. With the aid of a dirty yellow light that looked cheap, old, and not too bright, I was finally able to see the insides of this building.
Down there stood a boxing ring that looked strange. It wasn't high like other rings were, while its canvas was dirtied with countless bloodstains. The most intriguing part was that the space around it was notably limited. This ring was separated from the building by a steel fence. It gave a feeling that the whole first floor was a prison.
"Don't tell me this is actually true." I shook my head in exasperation. I couldn't believe this was real.
That was when the sound of grey noise got louder and ended abruptly. The next few notes that came from the audio system of this ballroom were very familiar, to say the least. I heard them, and I've had a rough feeling of what would come after.
"This can't be the truth."
A theme of the most known kaiju monster was playing, and as soon as the whole building exploded, it changed to a rap song. The large crowd of people started flooding the lower floor as they all were whistling, slamming, or shaking the cell-like fence.
They were screaming something, and I couldn't understand a single word.
As I looked around, I saw that few people like me leaned to look down. Someone started whistling.
"Tell me this isn't true." I barely tore my gaze away from all of this. As I turned around, Mara was nowhere to be found.
"Why are you reacting like this?" her voice resounded from my left. When did she make her way there? "Nevertheless, your reaction is quite vivid. It's cute."
Her hands were lying on the railing while her upper body bent forward. Her fur coat was barely hanging on her forearms, exposing her shoulders and back as the tube top she wore covered only her front. Her back was straight with prominent muscles, yet her shoulders weren't too wide. Mara's body right now has a beautiful curve.
"You half-opened your mouth, then your eyes grew as large as saucers, and in the end, you even trembled a few times." She turned her face toward me. "Honestly, I don't know why you are reacting like that."
"Won't anyone react like this!?" Why was she even getting surprised? Even if you say we are going into a fighting club or something like that, won't it be better to make it in an inconspicuous place? Why the hell was this place looking like it came straight out of a b-tier movie?
"I don't really know you are the first one I've invited here. Oh, look at this girl, I'm telling you, she is the best dancer here!" She pointed towards something.
I looked in the direction of Mara's finger. I saw there was something that looked like a shark cage. And the girl was dancing there in skimpy clothes. Hell, it would be better to say she was dancing in her bikini. And there were a few more of those cages out there.
"Are you for real!?" right now, I felt how my mouth grew agape to the point that my jaw can get dislocated. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE!?"
"Oh, stop freaking out now."
"How can I not freak out!? This is a scene straight out of the movie or a tv-drama!" my voice cracked.
"Huh? What kind of movies do you watch?" Mara raised her eyebrow, "Anyway, you didn't even see the main dish, so it's still too early for you to act like this."
As she said this, two guys went towards the ring, their torso bared, wearing jeans and sneakers. And after hopping into the ring, they talked about something for a few seconds and started fighting just like that.
Without any referee or a gong, without any kind of an announcement from this Cristoph guy.
"What… what are they doing?" why the hell did they do it? I looked at Mara, who was staring at this with a rather bored expression. It was strange, considering how she was excited just a few seconds ago.
"They are warming up the crowd," her voice became colder, "It's not as interesting as the main event fights, so we can take our time." she walked towards her chair and took a remote control from somewhere, after pressing a few buttons, a part of the wall lit on. It turned out it was a monitor.
"We can watch them fight like this and get comfortable. In the meantime, we can finally start talking. I've wanted to say something to you for a long time," Mara once again lazily sat down in the chair.
"No, wait, why are they clobbering each other like that?" I sat down. However, my eyes were now concentrated on the things that happened on the monitor screen.
These two guys were beating the hell out of each other. They didn't wear any protection, nor did they have any regard for their own health. There wasn't anything smart, or elaborate about this. It was like boxing from way before, when it only appeared. Two guys simply stood in front of each other and tried to deliver as much damage as they could. Their bodies soon turned red and on the jeans of one of the fighters were signs of blood.
"They are fighting, of course."
"But fighting isn't like this." I looked at Mara, trying to find an understanding from her. However, she gave me a dubious look in return.
"That's why I wanted to talk with you in this place. You see, what you said concerns you much more than you think," she sighed and poured another glass of wine before taking a sip.
"What are you talking about?"
"You think fighting is bound by the law and rules. It's a sport, a profession, and a staple of our society. Don't you?" she squinted her eyes.
"Isn't it like this?" I raised both of my eyebrows.
"Haaa... Listen, it's the thing that was imposed on us."
"What do you mean by that?" I leaned back into my chair. Her words sounded strange.
"It's the thing that society forced upon us. We are slowly getting shackled."
"Hmm."
She leaned forward and extended her arm towards me "Just look at yourself. Your thinking is predetermined by the 'norms'. You are already in the paddock."
"I still don't get what you are trying to say." I furrowed my eyebrows and rubbed my nose bridge. "Aren't you just forcing people to fight for your entertainment?"
"Hah!" she threw her hand up like she was giving up. "Who said this!?"
"No, but I can see…"
"What are you seeing?" her hawk-like eyes glinted sharply.
"Two guys, beating each other without any protection, with no help or even a referee. A crowd jeering, and a lot of people on the higher floors that looked like they were from the upper class."
"And you came to a conclusion, huh?"
"Well, yeah." Was I wrong somewhere?
"I thought that you forced yourself into a shell, but I didn't expect the shell to be this thick." she looked upwards while her hands clenched the armrests tightly.
"Now listen to me, Erlig. This isn't a place where anyone forces anybody to do a thing. This is a place for those who feel stuffy to unwind." she closed her eyes like she was thinking about something.
"Gulp."
"Erlig, this place was indeed founded by the people of the upper class, yet it was founded for themselves. We were the ones who fought here." she looked at me, "Can you understand this? No one forces anyone to fight. This place was founded to let these things happen. The things that are banned and looked down upon in the rest of the world. Though lately there has been an influx of simple folks, they all end up getting their payments, unless they signed for it without wanting to get a reward."
"But…"
"Those guys you see fighting right now are probably amateurs. The possibility of them harming each other beyond a point of no return is minuscule, yet both of them would get money for their little show. An amount of money that would easily cover any medical expenses. Do you know why there is no referee, no announcer, nothing?" She lifted one corner of her mouth.
"I was curious about this." I shook my head up and down once.
"Because they've already decided upon anything between each other. How the fight will go on, deciding on the rules and when to stop beforehand. It's a gentlemanly duel. While they are in a preliminary fight, which means the chances of them returning here are nonexistent. That's why it doesn't even matter if we know their names or not."
I rubbed my forehead. "That's strange."
"WHAT IS STRANGE!?" Mara startled me with her sudden shout. She leaned forward, grabbing the armrests so hard I felt like the velvet would tear off in any second. "What is strange with doing whatever we want upon making a deal!? Stop thinking like the rest of brainless cattle. We don't do anything we should be prosecuted for."
"But the fights… shouldn’t they be judged properly and have a medic nearby? I'm an amateur, yet I believe this is right." I heard she was a star in taekwondo, so maybe she was right. But every time I saw a fight, even in my previous world, it was always like that. Proper rules, proper facilities, proper everything.
"Huh, who said it? Where is it written?"
"I heard every organization has its own rules?"
"And what if an organization doesn't have any rules?"
"It would get prosecuted by the state officials."
"Oh, why?" she scoffed.
"Because there are no rules?"
"And why should there be rules?"
"Because…" Why indeed? I think I was getting off point with this. "It's less harmful this way?"
"Hah. Do you know why all of these rules exist?"
I shook my head.
"So all those guys can sell their fights. So they can make money. The more, the better." She huffed. "And what will happen if we don't want to make money? If we don't need to sell the fights? Don't need to broadcast them!?" she kept pressing me with her question.
What indeed? If everything is agreed upon beforehand, there are no disputes and no excessive harm, fundamental human rights aren't violated, and everyone fights out of their own violation. Essentially, an organization, but with rules decided by fighters that no one knows about.
It does sound logical.
"You don't need rules?"
She beamed with a smile. "So, you understand now?"
"I'm not sure." I cupped my face, "Why would all of you do this?"
"You know how suffocating it is to do what other people force upon you?"
I nodded.
"Right here, we can do whatever will please us. It's so thrilling going against someone barehanded, feeling every punch, every strike with your bare hand. The vibration that transmits to your whole body." as she shivered, she hugged her own body.
"I don't get it." I interrupted her train of thought.
"You WILL get it once you escape a cycle of constant repetition." she gave me a pitying gaze.
"What do you mean by that?"
"This is my hobby…"
"To beat people without any rules?"
"Very funny!" she argued back. "Let me finish what I was talking about. This is my hobby, but this isn't the only thing I enjoy. However, I went through numerous cycles that consisted of studying and training. After this, I would usually go and hang out with my friends. Life becomes stale that way, it's the same thing over and over and over again. That is when this establishment came in. With its help, I was able to spice my life up. Though it's only one of my hobbies or pastimes, name it however you like, it's by far the best."
"It's good, I guess?" how should I react to her talking about this with glazed eyes.
"And that's why I invited you here. What is your hobby? What do you do to get away from your stale life? Do you have anything that would help you reboot yourself?"
Hobbies? I have plenty.
"First of all, reading…"
"Rejected." she pursed her lips.
"Wha-what? Why?"
"When was the last time you've read anything?"
"Uhm, well…" It was a good question. When was the last time?
"You don't even know it yourself, huh?"
"Whatever, I also like gaming."
"And when was the last time you played games?" She showed me a mocking smile.
What the hell, what's wrong with my hobbies? What does she not like? But I had a surefire thing I've done a lot.
"I've started working out and training MMA lately. But you've already known it." my eyes blazed as I said this, only to have my spirit get crushed by her next words.
"Yeah, I know it. I also know that this is a necessity for you, isn't it?"
"Yes?"
"In the end, you are just wasting your time, you are forced to do this, you are forced to do that, you say what you like to do out of habit. You entered the cycle and have no hopes of breaking out of it, don't you?"
"Why are you saying this?"
"Erlig…" She stood up and walked toward me. With each step she took, I slumped in my chair more, as if I was slowly getting cornered by an apex predator.
A few seconds later, she was standing before me. Looked down right into my eyes.
"In the end, do you even have a goal?" her face looked serious.
"I, I do. I want to stand my ground against Reid."
"And what will you do after?"
"After?" What's with this talk?
"Erlig, you don't have any wish or a desire you want to make true?"
I tried to think of something, but nothing came to my mind.
"Erlig…" Mara's voice grew soft. "What about ambition, or perhaps an aspiration?"
I felt that something was wrong when I once again couldn't think of anything.
"You don't have a dream, Erlig."
What's the theme the story is aiming for? It seems to me that the narration is zigzagging. The story turned into somewhat of a confused jumble, a revenge story with elements of self-improvement thrown in. Then the intermission added a wild card in the form of an unreliable narrator. Then components of competitive sports stories.
The problem is compounded by glacial pacing, that could be felt after the intermission, and frustrating prose. The conversation between Mara and Elrig serves to highlight the inconsistent themes doing something of a nait and switch. Reading like a tangent at first.
The last chapter feels almost redundant -something that repeats itself- considering the direction the narrative took it reduces most of it to set-pieces.
I'm sorry if any of this offends you, this is not my intent. A large part of this is my frustration, I see the potential of the premise going unfulfilled
I'm basically setting up lots of Chekhov's guns at the moment. Bear in mind that the story would probably be at least three hundred chapters long. And most of the inconsistent themes would start to fall in one story.
As for the last chapter repeating itself. I'm not sure. You may be right here, but I feel like not all of the readers understood the crux of the MC's problems. I also not so sure if the MC was forced to look at this problem, and I see it as the one that prevents his growth the most. There were already chapters of how he is weak-willed, beta, etc. He said that he can become who he wants, but there wasn't a discussion of who he wants to be. That's why I'm introducing this theme that would also lead to more interactions with the other cast. That was kind of forgotten.
I think it's a problem with my synopsis and tagging. While the name of the story is kind of a clickbait, so I don't want to change it.)
Anyway, thanks for your feedback. I honestly don't know how I can improve the story itself(not the grammar). As I write the narration goes out of hand and the meaning of every chapter starts to expand by its own will. I constantly find this or that thing that I want to highlight, or expand, or describe, and end up moving the progression of the story further away. And it happens while I have the basic plan\storyboard in my mind. I try to add hidden meaning here and there that would start to make sense further down the story, but the story is slow-paced and some people(not you) want instant action, instant character change, and so on. And if I try to do such things other parts of my readers start to say how rushed it felt, or how the character feels out of place. I just can't find this middle way, or I'm not skilled enough. In the end, I always think that I bit more than I can chew. Sorry for this rant.
@SailusGebel I'm probably in the minority, but I think the Erlig is a good character. He has flaws and weaknesses. That's good. He's not perfect, nor should he be. A character with no flaws is a boring one. He has room to develop. To change and overcome his flaws.
As for the writing developing a life of its own and the scope creep that comes with it. Have you considered a more relaxed release schedule? one chapter every two weeks or once a month? It will give you the time you need to edit.
Ugh u guys
"Get a Life, bruh." In a nutshell.
" fights out of their own violation. " - you wanted to say volition I guess.
So we are introduced to a Fight Club, I wonder if the leader of this club is Tyler Durden.
"Because they've already decided upon anything between each other. How the fight will go on and when to stop"-Isn't it boring to watch and participate in a fight where you already know who will win? I guess they still have some rules, like not biting, not hitting in the eyes, crotch, etc, if they don't the fights will not be entertaining
.
From my own experience, I can say that even a spar can be thrilling, you have different opponents so there is diversity, and even if you always spared with the same opponent, you both are always adapting so it's always something new, so spars can be exciting. Actual fights are always thrilling, with or without gloves, I still prefer with gloves and rules, of course, it's safer this way, and you feel pain in both cases, at least with gloves you protect your hands in an official fight. Mara's statement that rules exist so that those that are organizing fights can make more money is inaccurate. MMA does not have a lot of rules and it's very popular all their rules protect the fighters and make the fights more interesting, also fights without any rules are chaotic and in my opinion not as interesting to watch or participate in as in the case with fights that do have rules. It's not exciting watching fighters pulling each other hair, biting ears, poking eyes or every man worst nightmare strikes to the groin
I don't think not having a dream is his problem or a problem at all. What I do see as his issues: are depression, anxiety, and other psychological disorders. A dream might be the solution to the problems but not the problems itself, also a solution is what he is doing right now, just making goals like being able to protect himself from his bully, maybe other goals not necessarily a dream, like finishing university, move away from his pseudo parents and others. After all not having a dream does not make you commit rape, but some psychological disorders might. In my opinion, a dream is a solution, and not having it is not a problem, after all, you can be happy and have a good life even without a big dream. Just my opinion =)
I have a question, knowing that he is in a game world and that he played this game, does he know any information that could help him in any way in this game world?
Thank you for the chapter.
As someone who enjoys watching wrestling(WWE, IMPACT, AEW, NJPW, so on.) I can say that 'scripted fights' are interesting. Not for everyone, of course.
As for fights being thrilling and so on. I'm an amateur, but if I'm not wrong, there is no more soccer kicks, no more hits toward the back of the head, no more stomps, no more several fights in one night, and other little things. You can say that it's dangerous, but I heard that there were no major injuries from stomps, for example. I have a feeling that fighters(except a very few ones) right now are much less popular in general than they were before. And the way they fight for me is a part of the problem.
As for the lack of a dream, I'm not agreeing with everything I write. The things that touch philosophy don't have a definite answer. Psychology is very personal no treatment would suit everyone with a said problem. Your opinion is right, as well.
The world changed from the game world, so he won't have a lot, if any, of information that would help him.
@SailusGebel As an example knowing what Brock Lesnar is capable of from his days in MMA, watching him in WWE it's funny. He would just destroy every actor in WWE if he fought for real. I can't really take seriously scripted fights from the leagues you mentioned, knowing what a real fight looks like. Like you said not for everyone, a matter of taste.
Hits toward the back of the head can make the opponent blind for a short period of time or could lead to loss of sight for prolonged periods of time, stomps are also very dangerous, just imagine being stomped in the head by a professional fighter the consequences are terrible. You can become disabled by a simple jab from a professional fighter, a lot of fighters after retiring suffer from different disabilities caused by the damage they received during their professional career, it is a dangerous path that they chose, all hits are dangerous, rules exist to avoid the most vicious of them. The one that fights more fights in one night must be exhausted and the quality of each round will drop, in MMA 3 rounds 5 minutes each and at the last one they are really tired, I can't imagine fighting multiple fights in one night. Fighters are more popular now than 10 or 20 years ago, of course, there are superstars like in every sport, but the regular fighters are also popular and are respected by the loyal audience.
I'm curious about what problem do you see in the way they fight? because I don't see any, it takes courage to step in the ring knowing the consequences of it.
I guess I don't agree with Mara's point of view, and Erlig is too weak-willed to think for himself, after the last advice that he followed, he became a disgusting character for me, I wonder how will he take this one. I still think that he needs a psychologist and not Mara's advice, but that's unrealistic in a fictional world and we are here for fiction not reality. Maybe Mara will be a good influence on him this time, but I don't believe it, maybe it's because I don't like Mara, well I don't like any character in this story so far, so still waiting to cheer for someone.
Thank you for your answer.
@Casus There was a good video about wrestling being something like a real-life anime. You don't watch wrestling to compare it with real fights or acrobatics, you watch it and let yourself be deceived, you watch how beautiful and accurate every move is executed, and so on. A small example, you may think that a championship belt in wrestling wouldn't mean anything, as everything is scripted, right? But it does mean a lot. It means that the said wrestler, is more popular, he executes his moves better, he is better on the mic, he is more trustworthy, he shoulders the company, and sells the most amount of tickets and merch. For me, a mixture of acrobatics(how someone may call it) is more entertaining than watching a 10-second fight where a single strike gets a guy knocked out.
About hits, well, were there documented facts that stomps leads to more traumas than say, jabs? If not, why ban them and let elbows be a part of move sets? I mean, what strikes are more vicious? I understand how tough a fight is on your body. But as you said, every strike, or punch, or kick is dangerous, why ban some of them if you don't have a definite statistic which of them is more dangerous? I've seen videos where people said that normal boxing is far more dangerous than stomps or soccer kicks.
As I see it, and I'm an amateur, grapplers in MMA have an advantage, and the way they grapple right now is boring. They are getting tired? Well, let them work on their endurance more. How come in an old days there were single day tournaments here and there?
I don't see any problems with the way MMA fighters, boxers, kickboxers, and so on fight. For me it's just boring, that's all. Maybe because I'm an amateur, and I perceive everything as an amateur, I don't see an underlying meaning in each and every move they do. I started looking at the current day MMA, because there was Conor McGregor, who has, funnily enough, brought the wrestling term 'gimmick' into MMA.
@SailusGebel For you staged fights are interesting and real ones are boring, for me it's the opposite. As a law student, I can say that usually, rules are made for a reason( it may be a stupid one), we just need to make some research to find them or try to deduce them ourselves based on logic. Let's agree to disagree because this may transform into a long discussion.Good luck