It was a beautiful day at the mall. I hadn’t been there, or to any mall for that matter, in quite some time. There wasn’t much that was useful to a witch like me at a mall, after all. Seeing so many happy people out and about with their friends was nice, and I was glad Kitty had decided to take me shopping with her.

 

Kitty was shaping up to be such a sweet girl. When she first started living with me she was so shy, but as of late she had really started coming out of her shell. Seeing her smile as she told me about her interests reminded me why I did what I do.

 

“So I think we should go to this other kind of silly store next,” she babbled, looking over her calendar on her phone. “It’s called ‘Edgy on Purpose’? It’s really cheesy, but I’ve always kind of had a soft spot for it. It’s mostly just dumb merch, but I think we can find something there that you could wear. You know, like, ironically.”

 

“That sounds great!” I said. “Then I’d love to try one of these ‘cheese dogs’. Do you think they have kosher options?”

 

“Circe, when’s the last time you visited a mall?” Kitty asked, quizzically. “I’ve lived with you for like two weeks and I still have no idea how your witch lifestyle works.”

 

“I’m not a hermit, I just moved here from Vermont,” I explained. “There’s like no people there, and maybe three malls total in the whole state. And also all of them suck. It’s way better here in--”

 

“Hey, keep it in the bedroom, you lesbos!”

 

Kitty and I both looked behind us in shock at whoever said that. Even I had to look up to lock eyes with the man standing before us. He had a short beard and a terrible undercut, and his muscles didn’t make his ugly death metal shirt look any better.

 

“No need to show off, ladies. Yeesh,” the dickhead scoffed, like a dickhead.

 

I took a moment to try and quell my temper instead of exploding at him or turning him into a frog or something. But, ugh, what a prick! The audacity it took to tell two random women how to act in public, I mean first of all me and Kitty aren’t a couple, but that was completely beside -- whatever. Deep breaths, Circe.

 

I secretly took a peek into the man’s head in hopes of finding out what made him act like such a tool, and quickly found out. Envy. Their heart was consumed by it. Envy of all the women around them who got to be beautiful. Envy of lesbians especially, who got to love and be loved by other women. But it couldn’t just be that. I looked deeper, and found rage. They were so full of anger at a world that felt confusing and wrong. They were angry at themself for feeling like this. Angry at themself for wanting… ah. There it was. She was ashamed of wanting to be herself.

Poor rotten egg.

 

I considered how to handle this. Surely there was some way to gently break it to her that she could just be a girl, and harassing women on the street just made her an asshole. Then I looked beside me and saw Kitty, hoodie pulled over her face and on the brink of tears, and it was like a switch flicked in my brain. Nobody messes with my familiar.

 

I scowled at the heckler and snapped my fingers, venting my ire into a powerful hex. She barely had time to react before the potent magic took hold of her body.

 

Her eyes went wide with shock as she began shrinking. She lost more than a foot in an instant, quickly dropping down to nearly as short as Kitty. The formerly tight tee shirt she was wearing practically swallowed her whole, and she had to hold her sweatpants up to keep them from falling off entirely. The look of surprise on her face quickly contorted into one of confusion, her eyebrows furrowing as she reached up to her chest to feel exactly what you would expect. Finally, her eyes once again shot open in shock as she felt the most jarring aspect of her transformation take effect in her pants. So jarring, apparently, that she didn’t notice the adorable pair of fluffy bunny ears pop out of the top of her head. That would be a fun little surprise for her.

 

“What the fu-- eep!” the bunnygirl squeaked. “Is that my voice? Wait, are these buck teeth? What the hell did you do to me?”

 

“You’re welcome, butthead,” I spat. “Come on, Kitty. Let’s go visit that store you were talking about.” I tossed the bunnygirl my card as I led Kitty to the escalator. I’m sure she would have a lot of questions, but I was gonna focus on dealing with Kitty’s anxiety for the time being. Little miss street harassment could come to me for help on her own time, thank you very much.

 

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Ting-ding!

 

There went the shop’s front door again. I was hoping I was lucky and it was a “robber,” but chances were it was just another customer. Either way, I got up from my office chair and made my way out to the main shop.

 

“Welcome to Circe Kazzam’s Curio Shop!” I began, parting the bead curtain, only to find myself face to face with a furious little bunnygirl. “Oh, it’s you. How’s the new body been treating you, Thumper? I hope you haven’t been catching your ears in too many doors.”

 

The bunnygirl that stood before me was wearing a hilariously baggy band tee (different from the one she was wearing last time, I might add) and a pair of black sweats. Her face was tomato red in what was either anger, embarrassment or both, and her ears kept twitching.

 

“What the hell did you do to me?” she yelled, which would have almost been intimidating if she wasn’t so tiny and adorable.

 

“I turned you into a cute bunnygirl,” I told her, smirking. “I thought that much was obvious. Do you have any other questions?”

 

“Listen here, witch,” she began, narrowing her big, pink eyes in rage. “I don’t know who you think you are, going around and turning innocent people into girls--”

 

“So you want me to change you back?” I asked. I did my best to sound genuine, but we both knew the answer to my question. The trick was getting her to admit it.

 

She froze, the gears in her head turning as she tried to think of an answer, of any answer but the one her heart was screaming for her to give. “What exactly are you playing at?”

 

“Nothing,” I calmly answered. “No tricks; all you have to do is tell me you want to be a man again and I’ll change you back.”

 

Her face went through a journey of emotions while she desperately tried to think of another excuse. “Well, I’m… I’m not going to beg!” she finally decided. “You can’t make me! You might have taken my manhood, but you can’t take my dignity.”

 

And with that, she stamped her foot on the ground and stormed out of my shop in a huff.

 

“Come back when you’re ready for my help!” I called after her, eliciting only a middle finger and a scowl in return. My bet was she’d be back in a week, tops.

 

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Ting-ding!

 

There it finally was, the first customer of the day. Mondays were always the slowest day of the week at my curio shop, but even for a Monday, three o’clock was pretty late. I looked up from my issue of Sorceress Monthly to see a young couple holding hands. Two women, one tall and goth and the other… a bunnygirl. I couldn’t help but smirk.

“Welcome back,” I said as genuinely as I could manage. “And I see you brought a friend! Is there anything you need help with, darling?”

 

The tall one waited for her girlfriend to speak, but quickly realized she wasn’t going to and decided to speak up for her. “Hey, I’m Ellie. Me and Bonabelle have been -- wait, babe, are we dating? Well, either way, I met her at a party recently and we’ve been hanging out a lot, but I think she’s having kind of an identity crisis that I’m told you could help with.”

 

“Is that so?” I cooed. “What’s on your mind, Bonbon? Gender stuff? Something else?”

 

Bonabelle’s face scrunched into a pout and she glared up at me. “Don’t patronize me! You’re the whole reason I’m dealing with this in the first place! Ever since you… cursed me or whatever, I’ve been ashamed of how much I like being like this. Like, why should I be allowed to be cute? I definitely didn’t do anything to deserve this, I was an asshole!”

 

“You don’t have to earn being a woman, babe,” Ellie chimed in. “And you’ve clearly learned your lesson, right? Please, just let yourself have this.”

 

The bunnygirl’s ears folded back and her face went flush. “Bleh,” she said, covering her face in her hands and making herself small. “Blah,” she reiterated. “Why are you being so nice to meeee?”

 

“Because I like you, you dork,” Ellie answered, crouching down and wrapping her arms around Bonabelle. She gave her a little peck on the forehead and squeezed her tight. “I like you a lot, so you should be nice to yourself too.”

 

I could practically hear Bonabelle’s poor, gay soul leaving her body. What I actually heard was an incredibly high pitched squeal escaping her lungs, but I’m sure the other thing was happening too. “I love you too Ellieee,” she managed to squeak through tears.

 

I let the lesbians have their moment before eventually speaking up. “I’ll take that to mean you don’t want me to turn you back?”

 

“NO!” Bonabelle and Ellie shouted in unison before looking back at each other and giggling. “I think I’m finally ready to accept that I’m a girl now, Circe,” Bonabelle clarified.

 

“That’s what I figured,” I said. “And, Ellie, if you ever need anything like this just let me know, alright dear?”

 

“Thanks, but I like my body how it is,” Ellie gently responded. “If any of my friends ever need your help, I’ll send them your way.”

 

“Sounds great, darling,” I chirped. “Have a nice day, lovebirds.” This time it was Ellie who blushed bright red, and Bonabelle pulled her down to give her a smooch on the cheek.

 

“Thank you, Circe!” Bonabelle called back to me as she left the store, blushing girlfriend in tow.