Chapter 46: IRC
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“So, what’s this big news?” Tess asked, shoveling a bite of food into her mouth. It was one of the rare days in which her, Ellie, and Gramps ate dinner together, something which had become increasingly rare after Tess and Ellie were introduced to the Outlands. Gramps had apparently grown busier as of late, and between that and Tess and Ellie getting home from training at different times, it had become harder to find the time to sit down with everyone and eat.

Ellie laid down her silverware, smiling nervously. “I decided about the Appointed thing. I went and talked with Life and Death, and…well, I said I’d do it. So, we sat down and got it all taken care of, and it’s official now.”

Tess gulped down her food and gave Ellie a smile. “That’s great!” She said enthusiastically. “It’s cool that we get to share something like this!” She turned to Gramps, who was finishing chewing his own food. “Are we going to have another meeting?”

Gramps nodded. “Two days from now.” He said. “Our yearly meeting’s scheduled for then, so it works out pretty well.”

“Meeting?” Ellie asked.

“Once a year or when important things happen, a bunch of us Appointed get together and have a meeting to keep in touch.” Gramps explained. “We had one to introduce Tess, and we would have an impromptu one to introduce you if the yearly meeting wasn’t now. You’ll get to meet everyone else, and…well, let’s just say I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you, something you’ve been wanting for a couple of months now.”

Ellie frowned. “Something I’ve been wanting for a couple of months now? Nothing really springs to mind, can I have a hint?”

Gramps smiled mischievously. “It’s not exactly for you per-se, but trust me, you’re going to like it a lot, you mentioned wanting this right after Tess became an Appointed. That’s all the hints I’m giving, though, if you can’t figure it out from that it’ll just have to be a surprise.”

Ellie thought about that for a moment, glanced at Tess, then quickly glanced away. “I…think I know what it is.” She said, a hint of excitement creeping into her voice. “And if it is what I think it is, then you’re right, I am going to like it a lot.”

Gramps laughed. “Oh, believe me, you don’t know the half of it.”

The rest of dinner was relatively uneventful, consisting mostly of small talk as the three of them caught each other up with what had been happening at school, training, or, in Gramps’s case, work. It was a calm, pleasant event, and Tess found herself wishing that they were able to do it more often.

She knew that was just wishful thinking, though. With school ending soon it was nearly time for her and Ellie to make their debut as Appointed, and to start freelancing full-time. Their days were about to become busier than ever, and she doubted they would have time to get together like this on any sort of regular basis.

After doing the dishes, Tess went to her room and began to do what was left of her homework. It felt…decidedly mundane, but it was something she recognized as important. She may not plan to use most of what she learned in the near future, but she had been told that it was almost guaranteed that she would live for a very, very long time, and there was no telling when this stuff would come in handy.

Life: Is this thing working?

Tess nearly jumped out of her seat as the window popped up in front of her. Fortune had said something about a group message of sorts and Tess had said it sounded nice, but she wasn’t expecting something so…quickly.

Fortune: New god-phone who dis
Death: We’re not interested in anything you’re selling

And, somehow Tess knew that, unlike the standard windows she received from Fortune, she could respond to these ones. She was beaten to the punch, however, by the others.

Life: It literally says who I am right there next to my message. And I’m not selling anything. What would I even sell to you?

Ellie: They know, they’re just messing with you

Tess: Is this how you guys normally make all these windows? Thinking all this out and watching it pop up without more input feels kinda…weird

Fortune: Yeah it takes some getting used to. You’ve basically got full god-phone privileges now, you can even send messages to us without us opening the chat first. And you can send private messages between any one of us or combination of us in here, and view message history. There’s a mute function too, though it doesn’t work if someone marks stuff as “priority”. It defaults to muting for an hour, but you can customize the length if you want

Death: This whole thing’s pretty sweet, I wish we had tried something like this earlier

Life: It probably wouldn’t have worked earlier. The fact that both Ellie and Tess are Appointed now effectively let us use a little Worship to trick the system into thinking you’re both gods. If Ellie wasn’t an Appointed yet I don’t think we could have pulled this off.

Ellie: This is way cooler than what I had in mind when I said “group chat”, I just meant a one-way sorta thing for the gods to send messages to both me and Tess

Fortune: It works out pretty well for us, since we want to keep in pretty close contact with you, even more than other gods and their Appointed, especially with this whole introducing Mael to other planes thing. Makes it so we don’t have to always keep one metaphorical ear open in case you want to talk with us

Tess: Well, uh, cool. Um, I gotta get this homework done, so I’m gonna try that mute thing Fortune mentioned. Anyone need me for anything else before I do?

Death: Life and I are fine

Fortune: Go ahead!

Ellie: I’ll just knock if it’s important lol

Tess turned her attention away from the window, mentally willing it to “mute”. The window vanished, and Tess was free to focus back in on her homework.


Ellie shivered, the cold of the cabin biting down to her bones. This was not what she had been expecting when she had heard about the Appointed’s meeting, she thought it would be more…glamorous. That they would be in some hi-tech secret bunker or a boardroom or something, not a cabin half-buried in snow.

Warmth rushed into the room as Gramps lit a fire. “I’m going to go finish altering all the spellwork.” He said, moving over to the area where they had teleported into the cabin. ”Tess, will you explain to Ellie what this place is while I do?”

“Sure, Gramps.” Tess said, turning to Ellie. “So, this place is a sort of…safe house for Appointed. Apparently, this is in one of the most inhospitable places they could find, the blizzard outside never stops, though, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure how the snow doesn’t just endlessly pile up, I mean, it’s about the same depth as it was when I was here last…”

Fortune: It’s part of the magic of the blizzard. Any snow that piles up over like…six feetish immediately melts. It accumulates up to that depth quicker than normal, too. Pretty cool, right?

“Right. Uh, anyway, my understanding is this place is like…general use for Appointed? If we need a place to store something that’s classified or if we need to lock up a person for a bit or something, we can use this place. And if we’re in a bunch of trouble and need to hide out this is where we go. And then I think we’re also allowed to just sorta come here whenever? Is that right, Gramps?”

“Yes, but if someone else is keeping stuff here or doing stuff here don’t mess with it unless you have good reason.” Gramps replied, standing up from the magic circle on the floor. “I’ll show Ellie how to make the circle after the meeting, would you show her around the place? We might not have a good opportunity after, and some of the others should be here soon to help set up, so don’t worry about that.”

Tess nodded, grabbing Ellie’s hand and towing her away. “I’ll be honest, I’m not incredibly familiar with this house.” She said. “But I guess I’m better than no tour guide so…yeah. Um, it’s…honestly not anything crazy, aside from the fact that it’s…you know, where it is.” She led Ellie into a room to the side. “This is the kitchen, there’s a pantry that’s…well, I dunno how it’s done, but it seems to be constantly stocked? It’s convenient, though.”

Life: From what I’m told it’s thanks to Hearth. Most of the conveniences in this place, like the heat, electricity, and plumbing are, actually. He spent a fair bit of Worship here. He wanted to make sure this place was ready in case we ever really needed it.

Ellie paused for a moment to take that in before replying.

Ellie: Have you?

Fortune: More often than you would think. Being an Appointed isn’t exactly the safest job and having a place you can head to and lick your wounds where no one can follow is a huge benefit. Especially when you’re far away from civilization

“Huh. I…hadn’t thought about the plumbing before.” Tess said. “I guess I had just taken it for granted, there’s no way there would be any companies that service stuff out here.”

Death: Utilities of the Gods™, “We serve your location or 50% off your first month!”

Fortune: But if you don’t serve their location, they won’t be able to get that 50% off

Death: Exactly! It’s a flawless business strategy

Fortune: I want as many shares as you can give me

Life: Sorry to put a damper on things, but neither of you can do anything like that. You’d have to rope Hearth or someone into it.

Death: I can at least provide funerary services?

Fortune: Pretty sure that’s not under the umbrella of utilities?

Death: Yeah but we’re the gods we get to decide these things

Tess: You’d probably still have to check with Hearth, I think he’s the one that gets to decide what “utilities” means

Death: Killjoys >:(

Fortune: Killing is your area of expertise tho

Life: Tess is supposed to be giving Ellie a tour. We should let her do that.

Death: Oh, right, my b. Carry on

Ellie chuckled. She was glad that, at the least, the gods were enjoyable to be around. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle being an Appointed if they all were constantly formal and stuffy. Though…it might cause a bit of religious hubbub if people knew that conversing with them was sometimes like talking in an internet chatroom.

Death: OK but have you considered that internet chatrooms are like…the pinnacle of communication tech? You’re literally having nigh-instant communication with people that are sometimes whole planes away from you. Seriously, a millennium or so ago most people didn’t even know how to read and…here we are now and it’s almost a given. We’re just keeping with the times. Plus, it’s fun, we didn’t used to be able to talk to people like this

Tess: What?

Death: Sorry was reading Ellie’s mind, force of habit. I’ll try to scale that back in the future, I’m not used to like…communicating with people outside of the plane of the gods normally. I always had to read their minds to get ideas of what I wanted. Please call me out if I do it again, I really don’t want to be rude

Ellie: ‘s fine, not like it was anything important. Just keep it in mind in the future, try not to do it unless I’m in the middle of something and can’t talk or it’s really important

Death: Got it, will do my best

The rest of the safehouse wasn’t anything too crazy. There was a multipurpose room, a couple of bedrooms and bathrooms, as well a rather large basement that was used for storage, but that was about it. She would never have guessed that this was a hideaway for some of the world’s most important people if she was shown this place without knowing beforehand.

“Well, if it isn’t little Ellie! Finally one us?” Their tour was interrupted by a man’s voice coming from behind them.

Ellie whirled around to find a large, shirtless crocodile-person in the doorway of the room. “Um…yeah? Do I…know you?”

The man laughed. “Yes and no. My name’s Atum, I’m one of your grandpa’s party members. We met briefly at your parent’s funeral, but I was looking a little more human then.”

“Oh. Uh…hi, I guess?”

Atum gave another laugh, walking over and clapping Ellie on the back. “Don’t worry, I didn’t expect you to remember, Tess didn’t either.”

“How have you been, Atum?” Tess asked. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Atum smiled. “Bit lonely, to tell you the truth. I feel like everyone else has had a lot of opportunity to hang around you two, and I’ve just been doing my normal stuff all this time. That’s gonna change soon, though. Ellie, you were planning to work on being a tank, right?”

Ellie blinked. “Yeah. Why?”

Atum grinned, pointing a finger at his chest. “Well, I’m the best in the business. I figured I could give you some pointers.”

“Well, I’m definitely not going to say no.” Ellie replied. “What were you thinking?”

“Your grandpa’s been busy organizing an expedition. They’re like…big events for the guild that have to do with exploring the Outlands. If you’re up for it, we wanted to have you two go, and Ava, Eyfura, and I would tag along and teach you some things along the way.”

Ellie grimaced. “Would that mean Ilmir’s coming? I’d rather not deal with her if I can avoid it.”

Atum’s smile fell. “Probably. I know you three aren’t exactly…on the best terms, but I think that it’s not something that can’t be salvaged. Ava’s been helping her work through a lot of her problems, and she’s getting better.”

Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but Tess put a hand on her shoulder. There was a moment of silence, and then Tess spoke up.

“I want a rematch.” She said firmly. “No Descents, nothing, just her versus me. And then, I’m going to impose my own terms for when I wipe the floor with her. I don’t know if she’s been training, but I have. I’m going to win.”

Ellie gave Tess a surprised look. “Are you…sure about that? I thought she was like…a hard counter to you.”

Tess smiled. “When we first fought, I treated her like she was just some random monster. I fought stupid, but I know better now. She’s not going to know what hit her.”

Atum raised an eyebrow. “A bold statement. I’m sure we can set something up, though, I’m positive she also wants a rematch.”

“Good. Let’s try for before whenever this expedition is.” She paused, turning to Ellie. “You think we should bring Jacob? I want to show off a bit.”

Ellie blinked. “I…huh. Um, I guess there’s not much of a reason not to, unless we’re not allowed to tell him we’re Appointed.”

Death: That’s cool I figured you would anyway. Just make sure to have him swear a Fatebinder’s Oath and all that jazz. Evan can probably take care of that for you

Tess frowned. “Actually, while we’re on that subject…weren’t we supposed to be getting Maven as an addition to our party? Do we need to keep that a secret from her?

Fortune: Goodness, no, that would be super frustrating for everyone involved. Nah, she’s good, she’s trained in keeping state secrets so she’s not going to leak things like this. Amara’s gonna sit her down and explain everything, she won’t dream of telling anyone, but we’ll have her swear a Fatebinder’s Oath too just in case

“Are you sure we want to try having another party member? I’m a little skeptical after how Ilmir turned out.” Ellie said.

“Nah, she’ll be fine.” Tess replied. “She had a bit of an ego at times, but I think she’s got her heart in the right place.”

Fortune: She was super impressed with you, too, so the whole stats thing won’t be an issue. Plus, I don’t think that ego’s ever really gonna clash with you two. She already thinks you’re at least her equals in social standing, and she doesn’t even know you’re Appointed

“There you have it. I say we give it a go, and if it’s awful we can just break it off.” Tess said.

“Alright, if you say so.” Ellie replied.

Atum cleared his throat. “Sorry to interrupt, but I actually came here for a reason. Evan wanted me to get…well, he said Tess, but I’m assuming he means both of you and wanted it to be a surprise. Anyway, he wants you guys to meet him back in the living room, says he has something to give Tess.”

Ellie’s thoughts were forcibly torn away from the subject of parties. If this was what she thought it was, it was far more important than such trifles. “Will do, thanks Atum!” She said, grabbing Tess’s hand and practically dragging her back to the living room. She couldn’t wait for a second longer.

So, since I don't think I've ever really...explicitly said anything about it, and this chapter is a bit heavier with them, I treat windows from the gods as text messages (or, more accurately, a chatroom or IRC channel) in terms of punctuation and grammar in general, which is why people usually don't end messages with periods.

Except for Life, he's not as...in touch with this sort of thing.

Also, props to anyone who can figure out what the surprise is without going back to look for things. It was mentioned a grand total of once (I believe) in a relatively unimportant line, so I'll be impressed.

Anyway, that's all for me, next time we'll be seeing that surprise, so look forward to it!

And, as always, thanks for reading! 

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