Meaning
What does magic mean to me?
What do I want to use magic for?
What is magic?
With the darkness around me, I focus within myself.
I try to make magic work with my will and allow me to see my inner muscles, my being, my surroundings and finally my soul.
Time goes by
……
My continued attempts to see inside me paid off,
I can feel it,
The mana in my body, I can feel it flowing, it seems like a continuous cycle of my navel expanding to my whole body in a spiral.
Why is it spiral?
……
After asking me about the spiral I tried to change the flow, first I tried to create roads like a river, it was quite difficult since there were areas in which the mana did not pass.
Why doesn't my body allow mana in those places?
I wondered, but every time I go through those areas with the mana, I feel more vital and it becomes easier to control the flow.
I continue to expand the network of mana as if it were a spider web.
………
In the end my mana flowed easier, but I feel that before there was more speed
Was it because of the spiral?
As I was in doubt I tried to change the road connection to my navel to a miniature spiral so that all the rivers flow faster.
……………….
It worked, I am surprised at how fast my mana is running but instead of feeling happy, I feel lost when I realize that I deviate from what I was looking for at the beginning.
I thought again
What do I need right now for meaning?
……
The mana is the will of the world, and the magicians are the one who controls it for their use.
So I went straight to the topic of what I would use it for.
Then I realized that all this started for the pinnacle, but if my life ends before reaching it, would I not be breaking my promise with death?
I remembered the last time I didn't keep my promise.
Pain
Madness
Sadness
The feelings inside me exploded as I remembered my beloved.
I clench my teeth and clearly see the answer I was looking for.
-I need time- such a thought echoes in my head
………
Can my will affect time?
Perhaps
If magicians control the will of the world, time is a primary law of the world, controlling it is not going against it, it is becoming one with it and moving it at will.
I lose myself in my thoughts as I think hard about controlling her.
…… ..
Is at least such a thing possible?
I wonder with resignation after trying for a while, but my father taught me something normal in blacksmiths when hitting the iron, being stubborn.
……….
I started counting attempts after feeling that it was impossible to at least feel a little progress, I don't know if it's my imagination, but in attempt 578 I felt for a second that my mind stopped.
Is it why my death is coming?
Or maybe because of age?
Or am I getting close to finding the time?
………
Attempt 1768
I started noticing, but at intervals of every 300 attempts my mind stops thinking, I try to think, but the only thing I hear and the only thing I feel is nothing, just white.
Maybe it's progress so I keep trying
…….
I try 4888
The intervals started to drop first it was 300, then they were 267, then 100 and now they are 87, I don't know if that target means I'm getting closer or is my mind collapsing.
I keep trying
……
I try 13547
I do not know if I have counted well because the moments that my mind goes blank I am not counting them, I no longer notice them, maybe my mind has been blank for 10 attempts and then I count 11?
I don't know, but since I no longer feel my mind blank I don't know if it's a sign that I broke a threshold, or lost my way.
I go back to the main thought
What is time?
………
I think I notice it until now, because since I started looking for the pinnacle I was so focused on magic and my mana that I didn't think about it.
But when I realized it, I think my death is near.
My breathing is difficult, it is as if I am underwater and at short intervals an air bubble appears.
I feel terror when noticing
I tried to check my body with my mana, and my lungs and nose look healthy, but my heart is beating slower and I feel less force in my body.
But now it won't matter if my death approaches
I will keep trying
…………
I stopped counting after noticing my body in a bad state, I don't know why I'm trying to go, but I don't feel anything when I keep looking for the meaning
First
How can I feel the time?
After so long my conception of time ceased to be a law, to a flow, it is the constant time in the world, time is chaos, time is the pressure that keeps our bodies alive.
After a while I can't tell it apart
Time is clearly
Change
So its essence in this world, the river of time, comes from chaos, and from order, but how does time affect space?
How do you change?
What is its essence?
Maybe with that I can feel it
…… ..
I no longer feel my body, I try to move it, but my muscles do not respond to me, I hear my heart pounding, it comes to a slow stop.
But does it still matter?
I'm still thinking
………
I did not feel it when my heart was about to stop beating, with so many slow beats, my mana began to fade, the mana I use began to drop, the mana I feel in my body is less and less.
I don't know how long it will take for everything to disappear, but at least I managed to make my spells consume less mana with the control that I achieved when creating the cycles, but this will only make me resist until the mana in my body disappears.
…………
It's time
It is change
So to control it is to make it stop changing or change in different ways.
The mana I feel in my body is as small as a grain of rice, compared to feeling the mana running all over my body, this feels like I'm going to die, my spells stopped working long ago, so with that little mana I What I do is control it so that it compresses, so that it becomes more concentrated.
Why do I do it?
So that it does not disappear clearly, at the end of so much effort I manage to compress until I feel it
He disappeared?
Not
It is easy
It's change
I realize that trying to feel time is wrong.
You cannot feel time, time is a change, you can feel the thousands of changes in the world, but that will be change, so it is not time, to feel time, take care that time feels your will and they turn one.
Your will has to become time to feel it
To find such meaning, as I said before, you have to turn back time
So what did I do with the last mana bean I had?
I made the mana become my will, and my will turn to me and go find him.
Stop feeling my will and change, all my thoughts went blank.
My heart stopped beating, I felt my mind go off, it was hard for me to think, but I felt it.
I felt that the will that creates change, ceased to be mine, became something unique.
Yes
My will changed
My will
Turned time
Ironic no? My thoughts were ceasing to exist and my body was dying, and I just found the answer.
It would sound strange to say it, but even if it is slow, I can still think, it does not matter that it is 5 minutes to think a word, it does not matter that my body dies.
Why?
Because time is on my side, I make my will stop, the change stops, everything I feel stops, only my thoughts remain, and my will, I try to make the change in my brain stop, but my mind continue to flow in time, to one who is tiny, to which what I manage to control is nothing, I could create time, so now I just need to improve.
Now that I have the necessary time, I can achieve it, I can fulfill my promise, if my body had time maybe I would feel all that happiness and emotion, but now I can only go on.

So that the meaning of time changes again.