Healin’ Bad
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What happened? One moment, I was healing myself, then... Darkness. I must’ve fainted, What’s that coming into my vision?

It looks like a lot of people… It feels like they’re bad people, but I don’t know why. they’re afraid, I can’t tell what they’re scared of. Wait, the way that they look in my direction, it’s me that they fear. But why?

What am I doing?! I’m… I’m hurting them. Attacking them, with some type of magic. This is horrible, I would never do something like this, never in a million years.

This isn’t a dream, this is a nightmare. And somehow, I’m the monster.

Saffron? I see her and she looks so weak. She looks so sad, all chained up like that, her clothes all tattered. I want to help her, but what am I doing? I’m not using my magic to heal her, it’s like I’m about to…

Kill her.

“Ahhh!” Where am I? What? I’m in our bed? Right, that’s because I fainted earlier, so they must’ve put me here. My hands, they’re shaking from that odd dream. Well, I guess that’s all it really was, so I can put it off for now.

“Is everything all right?!” Saffron heard my rather pitiful scream, rushing into the room at lightning speed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I say, but as I attempt to get up I just can’t. It’s like my body won’t let me get up, it’s just so exhausted.

“You pushed your body too hard.” I can’t help but ask why, as she sits besides me on the bed. I hope this sort of thing isn’t too common in our relationship. Now that would be something which would make me look really pathetic. “I’m not sure, I would’ve thought that you had a handle on your magic at this point.”

Her explanation doesn’t help me feel much better. I haven’t had an issue with energy when I work with my shield. And if its healing related, I didn’t faint when I mended her scars. But, the two times I did was after I healed my own wounds. Is that the downside to my healing magic? That if I use it on myself, it causes me to feel so weak?

I guess I was speaking too soon when I thought there were no flaws to my magic.

“I’m sorry.” I must’ve worried them a lot when I passed out. Not to mention the work that Saffron’s had to do to tend to me.

“Oh, it’s no problem.” She responds in the way. “I like taking care of you.” When she says it like that, it makes it sound like I’m some children with her as my mother. I understand being the doting type, but that doesn’t help my confidence.

“You really shouldn’t.” I tell her, rolling over in my bed. “We both know why you want to help me.”

“Are you really still on about master?” Her tone turns a bit sad, guess I must’ve brought up some bad memories. “But, we’re together now. What’s there to worry about?”

“I’m nothing compared to him.” That guy really was something else. His power was beyond measure from what she’s said. Meanwhile, I’m the guy that can hardly move after he uses one measly spell. Yet I’m the one that wants to go on adventures.

Maybe that dream’s got me in a bad mood, but I don’t think I’m wrong.

“You’re wrong.” I knew she was going to say that next. “You’re right, that he was special. But, I think you’re even more special than him.” That’s laughable. I can’t believe she said something so insane to try and get me to feel better. Maybe I am being a bit too negative, but even happy me would think that’s a silly line of thought.

“I’m sure light magic is unique in your world, but I think he was a lot more talented than me.”

“It’s not that.” She stops me. “You’re a lot kinder than him, a lot more positive.” Kinder? Aside from my poor behavior when we first met, along with the fact that I’m not being all too positive right now. It’s just that everything she’s told me so far about the guy made him sound like a good guy.

But he had his own personal issues. I know she said that he could be cold sometimes, but I never really understood the depth of it until she explained it to me right now.

At home, he was okay. Quiet and reserved, and never treated her poorly. But during his time, a war was brewing. Things were far from good, and a lot of people weren’t safe. She told me about when he would fight. He never went looking for it, but there were times when words weren’t going to cut it.

The way she described how he would destroy his foes. The visuals of it nearly made me hurl. But not only that, there was something about it that filled me with dread. As if it was familiar to me, because it was. I saw the things she was talking about in that dream I had. As if she saw what I dreamed herself.

“Master had a dark heart.” She concluded her story. “But I knew he had good inside him, that’s why I liked him so much.” But according to her, that’s what makes me so different. I don’t have the darkness he had. Sure I can get down here and there, but that’s just regular angst compared to what that guy had.

Now I realize something, even if I’m not about to tell her. I think that I really am his reincarnation, but that the magic he bestowed on me wasn’t inherent to the soul. Instead, it was about what that soul had been through. I can’t even begin to imagine what he grew up with, but my life was actually pretty good, all things considered.

I may have been a bit aimless, but at least I had food to eat, a place to sleep. I got to have fun with games, even had a girlfriend for a bit. That Alan had to kill just to survive in an unknown and uncaring world. It’s because of him, that I can see this world as peaceful, and not live in fear.

“Thanks.” She really did a good job at cheering me up. It’s awesome that I have such a wonderful girl to help me when things get dim.

“Great, now scoot over.” She pushes me to the side of the bed. Being too tired, I’m powerless to try and stop her.

“Geez, don’t you think that you’re being a bit pushy.” ...I say the dumbest jokes.

“Well, I wanted to do… some stuff with you.” She admits. “But I’ll settle with some cuddling.” Of course she would, and I wouldn’t mind. Then again…

“Well, even if I can’t move so well. You could…” Actually, what am I thinking? It’s a bit much to ask of her.

“What?” She asks, prodding me. I do my best to turn away from her, to try and avoid the subject.

“Nothing, it’s not something you’d want to do.” At first, she falls silent. So I think that this conversation is over, and we can enjoy some cuddles. However, it doesn’t take long for her to prove me wrong.

“Well… If it’s with you, I would like to give it a try.”

Announcement
At the time of this posting, a friend of mine just started to post on here. So I wanted to put up a shout out because I personally really like the story and encourage him. I assume if you're reading my story, that you like isekai. So maybe give it a shot and you might like it?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/160865/in-another-world-with-my-luck-stat-set-to-zero/

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