Chapter 66 - Lea Intensifies

I squeaked, “Lea…what…”

“I AM NOT LEA!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs.

Dark patches swirled and stormed around my vision. It was hard to see Wes’s face. The blackness of her clothes overtook everything like a tempest stretching out. She was like a shadow. A human shadow.

I tried to breathe. Not Lea. She’s not Lea. That’s not Lea!

My hands tightened too. A shadow. Like the others. Just another monster. A word gurgled out of her, but I wouldn’t hear it.

“Go away! Leave me ALONE!” My words, stronger than I could imagine them. I blasted, just like the other shadows. Burned away. I clenched my eyes, flashing bright behind my lids.

When I opened them, nothing stood before me but a straight path to the other side of the gym.

I took a long, slow breath and rubbed at my eyes. That wasn’t Lea. Just my fears. Just…me seeing something like last week. Just me freaking out over nothing. And it was gone. It was gone.

Each step, I repeated these words to myself. I willed those words to be true. I could almost feel them behind my coarse tears, but I didn’t feel relief until I saw Lea, true Lea…my Lea…standing near the open door to the girl’s lockers.

Naturally, she wore flannel. A pink and black plaid flannel top with long sleeves. She had on gray jeans like mine, but these had a glossy, almost-velvet look to them. Still Vans but in a matching, pink color. Her hair was back in a silvery scrunchie. Aside from the flannel, which looked intentionally oversized, everything seemed to fit her well.

Her eager, radiant smile cleared all my fears as she waved and said, “Kenzie! I missed you! But I gotcha!”

She emphasized this with an eager hug around my shoulders. I clung to her and tried to keep myself from shaking. It didn’t take her long to ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Just…had a nightmare.” While I was standing and awake.

Lea clicked her tongue and frowned. “Sorry to hear. But take suitable comfort that nightmares are fugacious and soon forgotten.” She ended her words with a hopeful smile.

I didn’t want to dim that smile, so I reflected it and nodded quietly before asking, “How have you been?”

To that, she took a deep breath and announced, “It has commenced. The menses...that is.”

Surprising to see her smiling so easily. I wanted to apologize but stopped myself and instead asked, hopeful, “Not as bad as you feared?”

Lea looked me in the eye and took a deep breath. “Not convivial but also not the worst horror stories I encountered. The weekend reeked. All sorts of aches…” She gestured around to herself and sighed. “The ones in my…chest were…well not the worst but verifiably disconcerting. And I had some really chaotic thoughts. Just swinging all over the place…”

After fanning her arms, she brought them back down and said, “Then the actual…thing, started early Sunday. I dunno if that’s normal. I hope so. At least I’m prepared on supplies. Wouldn’t forsake a few more days or a week to figure it out in the comfort of my bedroom under lots of blankets.”

Sounded fine to me. Of course, I had no idea what ‘fine’ was for a boy who’d turned into a girl the week before. I advised her, “You might want to use more of your passing time to take care of yourself.”

She flashed a little smirk and pointed out, “But stopping by for a quick hug is the most effective remedy for anything.” We exchanged another one as the weathered blacktop was starting to fill with wandering figures.

Fluttering her sleeves, Lea showed off her clothes and asked me, “What do you think? A twist on my stalwart style.”

“Very cute.”

She beamed at my words but admitted, “The other day, I feared it might be wretched but the fusion turned out nice.”

Lea returned the favor by complimenting my choice of gray.

As the area began to permeate with stalking teenagers, Lea took quick notice of the group of boys with a basketball. She’d only watched last time. I wondered if she might feel bolder now.

But, before the game could start, I noticed a lone figure pressing through the high grass at the edge of the nearest row of classes. A familiar figure, her pale hair pulled in a taut ponytail and her gaze piercing the air, even from this distance.

Nats.

It didn’t take long for Lea to spot her too. More stress for a Monday.

She was still a ways off but closing quickly, her determined strides mashing the grass in her way. I shifted to provide a barrier between her and Lea but Lea slipped around me and advanced towards Natalie before I could say anything.

Beside a stray oak, past the edge of a depression trailing off the blacktop, and before the backstops, we met. I tried not to catch Natalie’s eyes, but it was hard not to at least flick my gaze in her direction. Nothing kind.

I focused on Lea. She stepped closer, gripped the straps of her backpack, and said, “Stop. Right now.” Her words had her father’s strength but in a tone all her own.

Natalie tensed her fair eyebrows and bared her teeth. “Why are you with…her?”

Lea leaned back and took a deep breath. “I’m with her because she’s my friend. Do not threaten her.”

Clenching a fist, Natalie asserted, “She’s the biggest threat. She’s done something to you, and I’ve heard things around. There are other boys she’s been messing with too. I know.”

Well, at least she wasn’t screaming at me and shaking things. That might come next.

Lea pressed closer. “Yes, she did something to me. She changed me. And it was excruciating…agonizing…but she also helped me to get through the pain.”

Tightly, Nats shook her head. “No…no. She didn’t help you. I helped you. I sat with you. I comforted you. I did everything I could….and you say she was the one who helped you? This…murderer…this monster…” She aimed her long finger at me.

In answer, Lea nodded and reiterated, “Yes. She helped me. You helped me too, despite our arguments. But I will not accept friends who treat me and others like this.”

Nats clenched her other fist, ready to throw down. “Friends? How could she be a friend? And how could you think of me like this after everything…after all we’ve said…after all we’ve felt?” She clenched the neck of her top.

The words were harsh but not the screaming chaos which brought security to us last time. Not even the players by the basket noticed anything amiss.

Shaking her head, Lea told her, “Because you made Chemistry class a Hell for me. And you embarrassed me in front of my English class. Those I care about, and those who care for me, would never ever do that.”

The fury Nats was clutching wobbled. Her fists opened slightly. “I care for you. I do. I…warned her before. But she’s done something to you…she’s replaced you with some girl copy!” Her words were more plaintive than bitter.

I wanted to press her about the news reports, but I hadn’t even gotten to tell Lea yet and I figured that would only make things worse. I tried to reclaim the calm I’d had last Friday.

Lea brought her hands down and shook her head. “No. I am Wes. And I am Lea now. I’m different, but my life is my own. My own, not hers…and not yours to dictate the kind of person you think I should be. Remember what we talked about the first week we hooked up about respect and self-identity?”

Both of Natalie’s fists dwindled away to loosely dangling hands. “Of course. But…that was. That wasn’t about this…”

Arching her eyebrows, Lea pursued, “Mutual respect. Not just when things are normal but also when they don’t make sense. Those are the times when I need you the most.”

Natalie stumbled back slightly but still flinched in my direction. “I know…but she…she did what…”

Raising a pair of fingers, Lea admonished, “No. This is about you and me right now. Kenzie was just the reagent…or catalyst…and I stand here, a product of my own inherent qualities, reshaped but fundamentally…me. You have to understand that. I’m still here. I haven’t gone anywhere...”

I tightened my lips and tried not to think of that shadow thing’s words.

Begrudgingly, haltingly, Natalie’s rage settled but her discomfort remained. “But you were in so much pain. That kind of pain just doesn’t go away…”

Touching her forehead, Lea admitted, “Plenty of pain over the weekend. Plenty I need help with. But having the support and spirit to find a smile despite all the atrocious things is so much better than sitting in hopeless paralysis.”

While Natalie still looked sternly wary of Lea, she released a held breath and said, “I’m sorry. I’m…just so scared. It’s like a waking nightmare. I don’t know what to do…”

Naturally, I seized upon that moment to get my words in on the subject. I did my best to make them not sound like an accusation. “Is that why you talked to the news?”

Natalie glanced as though she’d forgotten I was still around. She brought back her scowl to declare, “News? I didn’t talk to the news. I’ve been trying to find a lawyer but…I will…I know a bunch.”

I pressed again, emphasizing the station I’d seen the report on. Natalie scrunched her eyes like I was crazy and said she didn’t watch that. Lea looked a little bewildered as well.

I cleared my throat, apologized, and turned slightly. So, if it wasn’t Natalie, then who? Dozens of suspects. I had been very light on carefulness, despite how much it hurt to agree with my mother. Anyone in English class could’ve told them.

Getting back on track, Lea offered, “I know, Nats. I’m scared too but turning that into rancorous enmity only brings further harm.”

She gave a slow nod and softly added, “You know…every word you use I scarcely understand makes me feel a little better.”

With a faint smirk, Lea remarked, “Pulchritudinous.”

Art by Alexis Rillera/Anirhapsodist