Chapter 76 – Blank
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“Hold still and stop blinking,” Leah ordered. “We’re going to be late.”

Leah and Arwyn had allotted themselves three hours to don their costumes for the Fantasia New Year’s party, which was plenty of time given the relatively simple outfits. Unfortunately, they had failed to take into account the fact that Arwyn would have considerable trouble putting on the coloured contact lenses that went with her ear tip prostheses and temporary hair dye. Despite a lifetime of myopia, this was the first time she had tried contact lenses, favouring the much lower maintenance option of glasses.

 

Finally getting them in with Leah’s intervention, Arwyn blinked furiously to try to eliminate the foreign body sensation in her eyes. The attempt was unsuccessful, and she stopped when the corresponding muscles became sore[i]. She glanced in the mirror to see a watery-eyed Fey looking back.

“Wow, that looks real,” she commented, tilting her face at different angles. Her real features were more rounded than her elven avatar’s, but Leah’s skilful hand with makeup matched her in-game appearance perfectly.

“Come on.” Leah – covered head to toe in blue body paint – dragged Arywn out of the apartment and into the automated car waiting to take them to the party.

 

Safely seated and buckled in, the car took off smoothly.

Leah read a message on her phone and grinned. “Blade’s already there,” she reported, typing a reply.

“So did you find out his real name yet?” Arwyn asked.

“Yeah… It’s… Darryl.”

Arwyn did not know what to say. “It’s so…”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I’ll just keep calling him Blade.”

Leah sighed. “Maybe we can get him to legally change his name to Blade.”

(The author apologizes if anybody named Darryl is reading this and was offended.)

 

Before long, the car joined the long procession of vehicles heading towards the self-contained building complex that housed VirtualRealities’ North American facilities. Arwyn and Leah disembarked in front of a convention centre building built somewhat intimidatingly out of black stone. Around them, all the different playable races in Fantasia made their way inside, the costumes so realistic that Arywn had to double-check that she was in fact in the real world and not logged in to the game.

Leah nudged Arwyn with an elbow. “Turn on the wings.”

Arwyn pressed the button that activated the holographic projector attached to the back of her costume. “You know, I wouldn’t actually summon them in the game unless I was about to use them,” she pointed out.

“Well, considering they don’t work for anything right now, you’d be waiting a long time to summon them, and you paid good money for that costume add-on,” Leah replied.

Arwyn rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. Actually, remind me to change my credit card number.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on.” Leah dragged Arwyn through the entrance, where they joined one of the multiple queues signing in the party attendees. Each person walked into a vertical tube equipped with biometric scanners similar to those inside the virtual reality headsets that verified their player ID before entering the main floor.

“Welcome, Fey E’lan,” said the same disembodied female voice that heralded every log in to Fantasia. Arwyn actually had to pinch herself to verify that her pain sensation was fully intact, her sense of reality becoming increasingly confused.

 

Just inside the double doors leading to the main convention floor, Arwyn spotted a familiar face in a familiar suit of armour, though lacking the giant tower shield he normally carried. “Hey, Blade!” she called, waving and leading the shorter Leah to his spot.

“Hey, Fey. Err, Arwyn, is it? Hi, Leah.”

“Hi, Darryl.” Leah even managed to say the name in a straight tone.

Noticing the prolonged eye contact that indicated that Leah and Blade were about to have a lovebird moment, Arwyn beat a retreat. “I’m going to go wander around. Call me if you can’t find me.”

 

Arwyn walked off to explore the party set-up. In addition to large amounts of food and drink everywhere, the majority of the floor space was taken up by simulations of different areas within Fantasia to allow party-goers photo opportunities everywhere from the majestic beauty of the Elvenwood’s Mana Tree to the celestial throne from Skyhaven’s Cloudhome palace to the bony gates of the Demon King’s volcanic lair. Particularly busy was the area set up with an augmented reality battle simulator, allowing participants to slay holographic monsters in full costume.

 

Grabbing a glass of juice, Arwyn strolled around, content to observe the gamers around her. She was particularly interested in the fact that many of them were meeting long-term party members for the first time in person. For someone interested in human psychology, it was an enlightening experience. Everywhere she looked, she saw the line between online persona and real-life personality blur, personal insecurities rise to the surface or emphatically suppressed, friendships deepening or breaking with the element of reality thrown into the mix.

 

“Fey.”

 

Arwyn stiffened. That voice… did not exist in reality.

 

***

 

Leander was distracted from his surveillance of the convention centre entrance from a second-floor balcony by the chime of his cell.

 

KevinO: She just signed in at the scanners.

 

Leander was too busy peering intently at the entrance to scold his friend.

The breath rushed out of his lungs. Fey walked through the entrance with her friend Sirena at her side. Leander had been prepared for her to have a slightly different appearance from her game avatar, but every detail was the same. He watched as she spotted Blade and made her way to him before leaving her friends to wander the floor by herself.

 

She was real.

Intellectually, he had already known that. He had even known, through Kevin, that she had not altered her avatar’s appearance. Still, the visual confirmation was a punch to his heart.

He took a deep, calming breath. It failed to calm him. He descended the stairs anyway, eyes always tracking her location as she wandered casually around, eyes bright with curiosity.

 

She was facing away from him when he finally came within touching distance, the illusion of wings obscuring much of her body from sight.

 

“Fey,” he said, loud enough to be heard in the crowd, nerves and elation competing for dominance inside him.

 

…His smile faltered at the stiff shock on her face when she turned. “Fey?” he repeated with more hesitancy.

“Do you have an NPC based on your appearance?” she demanded.

“What? No. There is no NPC. I am… me. Leandriel. My real name is Leander.”

 

***

 

“My real name is Leander.”

The words echoed in Arwyn’s blank mind. She was frozen, completely unable to process what was happening and its implications.

“Fey? Are you all right?”

Leandriel’s voice, as rich and considerate as always.

…Fey…

 

She pinched herself, hard. It hurt.

 

“Fey?” Leandriel’s voice sharpened. “What are you doing? You are bleeding.”

Warm hands pulled her nails away from her abused skin. A gentle arm guided her out of the main convention floor to a much quieter hallway and into one of the connecting rooms. Docile, she went with the gentle pressure, stopping when it stopped.

The same hands guided her arm to a sink. Cool water rinsed away the small amount of blood on her skin.

He located a first-aid kit and removed an adhesive bandage. Deft fingers applied it to her arm.

 

A long pause, silent and still. Arwyn kept her eyes trained on the ground.

“Fey… I know I did not tell you in advance that I would be at this party, but… Are you angry with me? I am sorry.”

Arwyn shook her head in a jerky motion.

“Please, tell me what is wrong. Why will you not look at me?”

Arwyn felt impending tears burning her eyes and choking her throat. She could not speak.

 

Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out and stared at it blankly. It buzzed again when she did not reply, then rang with a call.

The gentle hands took the phone and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Sirena? It is Leandriel.”

“What? Of course I am real. Never mind; that is not important. I am afraid something is wrong with Fey. She has become completely unresponsive.”

A series of directions, and then Leah was bursting through the doors.

 

“Arwyn…” Leah said, sliding her arm around Arwyn’s shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Should we take her to the medical centre? There is a doctor on call,” Leandriel’s voice offered.

 

“No, no,” said Leah. “Arwyn just deals very poorly with surprises.”

“What did you do to her, man?” came Blade’s voice, more curious than accusing.

“Nothing. She became like this almost as soon as I greeted her.”

“Well, you see,” Leah explained, guiding Arwyn to a chair, “Arwyn didn’t think you were a real person. Neither did I, actually, but you’re not my type, so it’s less of a world-shattering revelation for me.”

 

“She… Thought I was not real? But we…” Leandriel’s voice trailed off.

“Fey.” He spoke directly to her, and she almost looked up. “Arwyn.”

She flinched at her real name coming from the angel’s voice.

 

“Leandriel,” Leah said, “I know you’re also very confused and upset right now, but could we leave Arwyn to get some alone time right now? She won’t be able to even start thinking until she calms down. I’ll explain everything outside.”

Three pairs of footsteps filed out of the room. Arwyn was left alone with her blank thoughts.

 

***

 

Leander grimly stripped out of his costume in the dark of his apartment not bothering with the light switch. The evening had been an absolute disaster.

 

Fey had thought him an NPC from the first moment they met. More specifically, an artificial intelligence.

 

What did that mean for all of their time spent together, the conversations, the memories? Had she been roleplaying a romance? Was any of it real?

 

He felt duped, but had no real target to focus his anger on, the misunderstanding reasonable given his avatar’s advanced level.

 

He was very worried about Fey – Arwyn, he reminded himself. Leah had assured him that she would be fine once she calmed down, but that blank expression, the loss of all animation, chilled him.

 

The way she had pinched herself until she bled… It was his fault.

 

Leah had advised him that the best course of action would be to let Arwyn process her thoughts for a few days.

 

Leander lay in bed and stared at the dim ceiling as fireworks went off in the distance.

 

Perhaps… The best course of action would be to leave Arwyn alone, forever.


Footnotes:

[i] The primary muscles involved in blinking are the orbicularis oculi (for closing the eye) and the levator palpebrae superioris (for opening)

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