Chapter 5: I’m sorry
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"Ha...ha..."

'I somehow managed to win but..."

*Cough*

'...can I even consider this as winning?'

Zack dragged his bloodied body inside the old abandoned building. The once warm atmosphere was nowhere to be found. What greeted him instead was the chilling cold of the wind and the eery darkness that surrounds him.

The only sound that can be heard was the echos of the rain and the pants and heavy footsteps of the young man as he drags his exhausted body towards the place where the three used to hang out.

Suddenly the memories of the three laughing and having fun played back in his head.

[Hey bro! Look at my new special move, Generic Fireball 3!]

[Hahaha, fool! Although I had to admit that technique of yours does sound cool. It cannot break my shield, Generic Shield 4!]

[Ugh! You're right! Hey Alice! Give your big brother a hand here!]

[I'm not interested in child play]

[Bro said he'll buy us new clothes if we beat him!]

[I never said that!]

[GENERIC SHIN KICK 100!]

[Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!]

[Good job sis!]

[Damn, foiled by a little girl]

[[[Hahahahaha!]]]

Zack smiled and stretched his hand towards the scene in front of him.

*Thud*

His body fell down on the ground and was greeted by the grim reality of his situation. The scene vanished and what replaced it was the sight of the gloomy, and broken interior of the old abandoned building. He then started searching his pocket and found a dried up and ruined leaf that was once a four-leaf clover. Zack made a self-deprecating smile as he looks at the ruined four-leaf clover.

'Looks like this won't be able to save me this time'

He started recalling the memories of his Mom and Dad being so excited about finding a four-leaf clover.

[Hey son! Look at this! It's our ticket to wealth!]

[Ticket to wealth? A leaf? I know where this is going, sorry dad, I'm not interested in joining your shady bussiness]

[That's not it! Dear, come look at this!]

[What is it dear? Oh my! Is that a four-leaf clover!?]

[Come on Mom, you can't seriously believe that stuff right?]

[[Where rich! Where rich! Where rich!]]

[*Sigh*]

[Son]

[Whats up?]

[Your entrance exam is coming up right?]

[Yeah?]

[Here]

[...I thought this was our ticket to wealth?]

[Yes, but you're our ticket to happiness]

[Did you hear that from a TV drama or something?]

[I did]

[Pfft! Hahahahaha!]

[[[Hahahahaha]]]

As Zack recalled the once happy memory of the past, he started laughing weakly.

'Sorry Dad... it seems like your son became a train of disaster instead'

Zack looked at the four-leaf clover again

'I can't believe how many times this leaf saved me, it even saved me at the entrance exam'

[Damn, I'm so nervous. Got any encouraging words for me Mom?]

[Don't worry son, if you ever feel nervous at the test, just look at the four-leaf clover and remember the shining head of your father]

[Mom, If I did that, I'll be dying of laughter instead of nervousness]

[That's the spirit!]

Zack puts on an awkward smile

'Ugh I still remember that awful memory at that the test'

Although Zack called it an awful memory, he was smiling as he recalls the memory from that day.

[Damn I'm so nervous my hands are shaking. Ah, I made a mistake there. Where's the eraser. Huh? The four-leaf clover?]

[ 'Don't worry son, if you ever feel nervous at the test, just look at the four-leaf clover and remember the shining head of your father' ]

[Pfftt! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!]

'I almost died of embarrassment back then, that stupid old hag, couldn't she have said something else instead. I would've even preferred some cringy line from a TV Drama that day'

Even as he was thinking that, the smile on his face never left its place.

'But I guess it wasn't so bad because-

[CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING 1ST PLACE SON!]

[Con-Congratulations s-son! *sniffle* Y-your ha-hard w-work finally p-paid off, I'm so pr- WAAH!]

[St-stop cr-crying Dad, *sniffle* i-its cr-creepy *sniffle*]

[Y-your crying *sniff* t-too y-you know *sniff*]

*Shrug* *shrug*

Zack continued dragging his body towards the center. He didn't know why nor did he think it would be of any help to his current situation. He just continued moving, as if desperately trying to cling to the past that would never return.

'When did it all go wrong?'

[Hey kid, wanna hang out with us?]

'If only I said no'

[Let's do something a little more exciting]

'I knew they were a bit shady, but they were the only ones willing to hang out with me.'

[Hey, the doors not locked]

'I should've left that kind of life before it got worse'

[If you want to stop being bullied, you gotta start being the bully]

'yeah, greatest fucking advice ever. But I was really desperate'

[We got the guys who used to bully you, would you kindly do the honors]

'There were probably multiple ways I could've done to get out of that life. But I wasn't able to find it, no... I wasn't even looking, because....'

[P-please... s-stop]

'I was already addicted to that kind of life'

[Son! I heard you got in trouble again! What did you do this time!?]

[Fuck off old man!]

'I shouldn't have said that'

[Do you know just how much your Mom and I worked for you!]

'I know'

[Your Mom nearly passed out from exhaustion!]

'I'm sorry'

[I SAID FUCK OFF!]

[DEAR STOP!]

[*SLAP*!]

[...]

[You're not my son]

[...]

[...And your not my father]

*Sigh*

'probably the worst words I've ever spoken'

[*Step* step* *step]

[Son! Come back!]

*Cough*

"Fuck!..."

Zack looked at his hands as he coughed up blood.

'I deserve this'

[Hey look your old man decided to visit you, how sweet]

'I remember that it was raining heavily like this that night.'

[*Step* what are you doing here dad? No... Old man]

[...]

'He started kneeling with his head on the ground ruining his clothes, but he didn't care'

[I'm sorry son... Please come back...]

'If only I said yes that night'

[So kid, what's your response?]

'If only I threw away that useless pride of mine'

[Apology denied]

'He wouldn't have ended up in that state'

[...]

[You heard what he had to say old man, scram!]

'but he didn't move'

[I said scram!]

'he kept his head down and stayed in that position'

[Just ignore him, he'll leave eventually]

'but he didn't'

[Hey, is that old man still outside?]

[It's been 3 hours, I'm sure he's gone]

'But when we went outside....'

[Are you crazy old man!?]

[Da- old man, what are you doing?]

[*Thud!*]

[I'm really really really sorry son! Please come back!]

'The memory still haunts me to this day, he hit his head on the ground so hard trying to apologize his head started bleeding.'

[*Smirk* so kid? What's your response?]

'But that wasn't the part of the memory that kept haunting me to this day. It was...

[Apology denied]

'my cold response to that heartfelt apology'

[...]

[So what's it gonna me old man? You heard what he had to say]

[...I...i'm...REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY SON! PLEASE COME BACK!]

[You already heard what he had to say, now scram. You're starting to become an eye sore]

[I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY SON! PLEASE COME BACK!]

[Agh this is starting to get irritating! Hey! Someone grab my bat!]

'I don't want to remember this part'

[H-hey, I understand my old man is getting k-kinda annoying b-but WAIT-]

*THUD!*

[AAAGH!]

[That should shut him up]

[Wh-what d-did y-yo-]

[Oh he's getting up]

[... I... I'm r-really really s-so-]

[WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!]

[STOP!]

*THUD!*

[AAAGH!]

[Please! Stop this already! As a friend will you pl-]

[Friend? Did you really believe that I was your friend?]

[B-but w-we hung out a lot and-]

[And?]

'At that moment, I realized. They never saw me as a friend, I didn't think they even saw me as a human being. I was their pet maybe even worse. someone they'll eventually throw out once they got bored'

[*Step*]

[Move aside kid, I have unfinished business]

[DON'T]

[Huh?]

[DON'T. FUCKING. TOUCH. HIM!]

[Heh, you think can scare me? Huh? Hey it's that leaf you were always looking at]

[DON'T TOUCH IT!]

[*smirk*]

*Stomp*

[Oops I sli-]

At that time, the memory of his dad giving him the four-leaf clover flashed in his head.

['Your our ticket to happiness']

[*BAM!*]

'After that, everything became a blur. It was like everything I was bottling up finally exploded. Like something inside me finally broke. It didn't even felt like I was in control of my body anymore. It was scary, not because of what was happening to me, but because it felt... satisfying.'

'once I snapped out of it, I saw that everyone had already become a bloody mess beaten down almost half to death'

[Hahahahaha! *Cough* Kid, you're a monster. *Cough*]

[...]

[You'll make everyone around you miserable]

'at that time, I just ignored his random rumbling. I needed to get my Dad to a hospital'

[DAD!]

'I took him to a nearby hospital and they said that he was in a very critical condition. Thankfully he was still alive but...'

[Son! Where's your Dad!?]

'I still remember the face of my Mom that night when she saw the condition Dad was in. Despair, no that word is an understatement'

[T-th-this is...]

'I didn't know what was going in my mother's head that night, but the looked she gave me sent chills down my spine'

[THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!]

'As she said those words, the memory of what that man said suddenly entered my mind'

[ 'You'll make everyone around you miserable' ]

'He was right'

[*step*]

'I knew she didn't mean it, because... While I was running away, I managed to get a glimpse of her expression'

[S-son?]

[*Step* *Step* *Step]

'She wore an expression that looked like someone who will be regretting the words they have spoken for the rest of their life'

[SON!]

'I didn't want to see her make that expression. She was right, this was all my fault. So I kept running... because... if I stayed any longer.... I might've made their lives a whole lot more miserable... No, that was just an excuse... The truth was... I was a coward. I didn't have the guts to face them after all the trouble I caused... I just wanted to run away from it all... and that's probably what truly makes me... a monster'

*Thunder*

'After I ran away you'd think I learned my lesson after quitting the previous gang, but no, I just joined a new one... I never even though of changing myself, until of course... I met them'

Suddenly the faces of Cody and Alice flashed in his head.

*Cough* *cough*

.....

*Sigh*

After a pause, he once again continued dragging his body towards the spot. A trail of blood has been made as he continues to drag his bloody body forward. Once he finally reached the spot, he turned his whole body upwards and stared at the ceiling.

" strange... the floor... seems colder than usual..."

Zack said with a self-deprecating smile

*Drip*

'damn... I should've have fixed that leak'

*Drip* *Drip*

'hold on... I did...'

*Drip*

'Then... why is my face getting wet?'

*Sniffle*

'I see...'

*Snif* *Sniffle*

'I'm not gonna make it'

At that moment the heavy rain started to overshadow the sound of the silent weeping of the young man. He couldn't move his body even if he tried.

'I'm exhausted'

*Step*

'I just want to rest'

*step* *step*

'I wonder how they're doing'

*Step* *step* *step*

'Cody, Alice, Dad and...'

*Step*

"...m-mom?"

"SON!"

His mother rushed in and gave him a hug. She didn't care how dirty he was nor how his blood was ruining her dress. All she cared about was how her son was finally in her embrace as she burst out in tears. She held on tightly as if holding something precious that she never wanted to lose again.

'this warmth... I missed this'

Zack thought as he felt his mother's embrace

His thought and emotions suddenly went rampant when he realized that he was finally able to meet his mother after 3 years. There were so many things he wanted to say but uttering just a single word was so painful as his lungs were starting to give out. But he knew he at least had to say the one phrase he was dying to say to his mother after running away for 3 years. The one phrase he never had the chance to say to his parents after everything went wrong.

"...I'm...so...rry..."

He could feel his mother tremble as she held him tighter and buried her head in his shoulder after he said those words. His shoulder became wet with tears from his mother. He tried to move his hands to grab her but it wouldn't move.

After that, He saw his mother's quivering hands take out a phone and was having a hard time trying to make a call as her hands were shaking violently.

She was trying to say something to him but his ears already gave out. His vision was also starting to get darker as he continues to lose more blood. Although he wasn't able to hear what his mother had to say, he had a good idea of what she was saying.

'....I'm sorry mother...but... this is the end for me... and please... stop blaming yourself... this isn't your fault... please'

Before his vision totally gave out, he was able to see two kids and their father rushing towards him. As well as blue and red light flashing in the background.

'Thank god... those two are safe...'

He smiled with that thought in mind.

The wind blew the withered four-leaf clover and landed on Zack as his mother held him tighter.

When the three finally arrived the two children also started crying.  The cries of his mother and the two children continued getting louder as the sound of the rain gets heavier. And with that, his eyes finally lost its life.

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