My name is Haruno Ishikawa. I am a 17 year-old senior high school student. People often call me "Haru" for short.

You see, I am just that boring and lame guy you see on the streets somewhere. People often say that I am gloomy. And since my parents are divorced, my classmates started bullying me. In fact that we have a broken family, we were also poor.

My mother left my father and never to be seen. There are rumours that she have found herself an another man. My father, on the other hand, accepted the truth and carry on.

I asked him one time.

"Father, why did you gave up?"

He replied with a calm tone.

"Haru, if I tried to bring her back, it will only hurt both of us. As long as she's happy, that is fine by me. Besides, I got you here. That is all I need."

He said that as he smiled as he pats my head.

He continued to find a suitable job and after that, he always work hard until he have a stable income. One job after another, he gave me whatever I needed. School suplies, clothes, and even a game to keep me away from boredom. 

Thanks to his co-workers, he managed to set-up a computer for my educational purposes. But in times that I want to wind down, he decided that once he was free from his work, he would play it with me. 
He said he loved this game so much when he was a kid. It was released for a demo. 

I look at the cover.

"Doki-Doki Literature Club?"

It is a dating simulator game, well kinda. It was a bit surreal and pyschological. I got scared at first but there were other versions or mods of this game, making the game addicting. But, there is something special about it that I fond to like it.

As expected from my father, which I inherited that trait from him. The blood of a gamer. I joke to myself.

I love how stories like this one shows reality. Like how that one character wants to get out of her world into ours. To escape that fake reality. To find someone to love. Seriously, she is like me. I want to escape into another world and be whoever I want to be. 

But there is no such thing.

Reality is a bit disappointing. 

It is not like those fairy tales that are full of cupcakes and rainbows. Reality is somewhat sad, cruel, intoxicating and full of suprises.

....

Yes, full of suprises...

.....

.....

My father developed a disease that causes to attack his bones, causing him to get weaker. He was also malnourish and lacks sleep, because on some days, he works overtime, not eating and sleeping.

He was hospitalized for months now. I wish someone could help us. 

And as for me, I am so worried about my father. I tried to work part-time while keeping my studies in touch. I was actually getting a scholarship because it could help me achieving my dream, to become a doctor for my father. I want to take care of him. I don't want to lose him. He is my last hope.

But, as I said, this is reality.

He died, on my 18th birthday. 

The disease kept destroying his bones, especially his tibia, causing for him to no longer walk. He also developed a Stage-4 cancer, reasons are unknown. I couldn't do anything about it. I feel so useless.

I kept remembering those memories I spent with him. Even how hard life is, he was always there. I cried and cried. It feels like I died.

"Why did this happened? Why do good people die so easily?"

Anger and despair overrun my thoughts. I began cursing myself.

"Goddamnit! Fuck! You fucking kid!"

I said that as my fist pierce through the wooden wall of my room. It bleed like hell.

After a while, I remembered. Father and I was suppose to play that last route. "The True Ending". Out of sadness, I booted up the game and finished it. On my own.

I became a shut-in after that. I never went to school anymore. My classmates became happy about that. No more gloomy face guy. 

And because of my father's funeral, some people gave me funds. But here I am, decided to stay at home.

One night, I ran out food while playing. So I went out. As I soon began walking to a convenience store minutes away from home, I heard a loud sound. Like a bomb explosion. It repeated two to three times.

"What was that?"

As I said that myself, I began feeling cold. My back hurts for some reason. As I check myself, I began throwing up. It was so dark. I tried walking faster but I can't. I saw a lightpost near the end of the street. As I reach the lightpost, blood is everywhere. I was shot.

"Ackkkk! AHHH! Haaa! It hurts!"

As I collapsed, I saw a man running toward against me. He was holding a gun. My vision started to blur. I feel like he was touching me. No. He was robbing me. Then after looting me like a bonus chest, he ran away.

"Am I dying? Am I dying? Am I dying?"

Thoughts started to appear in my head. Memories flashbacks. I throw up more blood.

I started screaming for help, but no one even heard me. No one was even there. I felt so lonely. I felt so scared. I screamed like a baby.

"I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! NO! PLEASE! NO! I.... DON'T......WA..N.T... TO.....DI....E..."

Death is always around the corner. It is so unpredictable.

Death is the truth that awakes us from this beautiful lie called life.

....

Slowly, my conciousness fades...