Oh wow, was he doing it on purpose? Had he found a way to weaponize his cuteness? No, the innocence of the situation was a major factor so unless he was an unparalleled genius it wasn't all an act. Cecelia definitely had an argument for her behavior, if you subscribed to her warped personality and outlook on there being nothing wrong in capturing and loving on cute boys. It was that final thought that brought Lorelle's rapidly beating heart and racing imagination back under enough control that she was able to clench her fists in her lap hard enough to leave red marks in her palms. After a second or so of increasing pain in her palms her resolve had been strengthened enough to keep herself in check and she released the tension in her body with a shivering sigh. After her vision focused on Ethan once again she realized his expression of helplessness had been replaced by one of concern and he was leaning forward slightly.
"Ms. Lorelle are you ok? Your face is all red..."
Victory! Her resolve remained and with only the slightest of hesitations she held up a hand and a sincere smile slowly formed across her soft mouth.
"I'm just fine Mr. Kipley, thank you for your concern."
"Oh, ok..."
"Now, go head and fill out what you can and then we'll review the rest together." Reaching over to the cart next to her she picked up a small black bottle that stood only about an inch tall and a large feather with a metal tip. Presenting him with the feathered pen and ink she waited for him to take them before moving to fill both of their mugs. He thanked her as she did so and began to look over the application while she refilled their drinks.
Burned into the top of the scroll, in the center and covering two lines, was the full name of the guild and which branch there were currently located within; Adventures Untold Company Adventuring Guild's Cloudcrest Branch.
A little further down the form started by asking for information such as his name, age, sex, species, height, weight, place of origin, and so forth to which he applied the appropriate information with little difficulty. He wasn't a fast writer by any stretch of the imagination but still managed a decent pace, at least until he hit a question that did two things to him; invoked a sense of sadness and also presented his first problem. Remembering what Lorelle had told him he skipped over the question about his Next of Kin and continued.
After completing some more standard questions he came to another that, while easy to answer, still invoked some thought and introspection, Party Role. Following the two words several standard roles were listed such as Castle, Shepherd, Striker, and Ballista but he stopped after reading the first three and went back to the first option to circled "Castle" for himself. After a few more question he finally began to read over what he could in regard to the terms and conditions at the bottom. Ethan had been so engrossed in completing the form that he didn't realize that Lorelle had been watching him intently and noticed rather quickly when he started to struggle with some of the larger words and phrasing of the more formal text.
Leaning forward with a smile she summarized each term or condition, truthfully of course, and explained what needed to be explained. For the most part he understood the concepts; the guild won't be held responsible if he gets hurt or is killed, unless it is due to their own negligence, that any possessions, in the event of death, would be returned to the listed Next of Kin, which he had simply listed as the Headmistress at the Orphanage. He would have to find something that would very much annoy her to receive to keep on his person in that case. Thankfully Lorelle couldn't read minds or she may have been given a glimpse into the boy's more mischievous side. She mistook his half grin as one of happiness from understanding everything. Finally, the form was done and he carefully wrote his name across the bottom and placed the date; 4th Torrentday of The Gathering.
Thanks for the chapter. Just wondering, how realistic are you keeping the story? Is it a happy go lucky with some stumbles along the way, a suspense filled adventurer that keeps you at the edge of your seat, or a bittersweet story full of struggle and overcoming challenges?
That's a great question. Thank you very much for posing it. It got me thinking about certain specifics again. I think somewhere between your first two examples. I enjoy the light hearted comedy routines the best but I don't want it to be so unrealistic it is unbelievable. I want fantasy and a sense of wonder but not totally off the wall. When he battles I want it to be epic and intense but with the victories earned and the loses as lessons. When he stumbles socially or emotionally I want the readers to at least be able to relate and at best experience the situation with him. This series, when he is younger is meant to be more lighthearted. Later in his life it will switch. I have another story, same world, but that takes place about two decades after the events happening right now. I'm still piecing together the details in my head but that story will focus on the evil side of the world and will be much darker. It will have a different MC who is not only the opposite of Ethan but also someone who embraces what makes him different with a sick glee.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this story so far regarding my intentions mentioned above.
Thanks!!
@twesloon you definitely have the story heading into the right direction. We readers enjoy a good light hearted story full of comedy, but funny enough, if nothing bad happens to the MC we get mad. The hypocrisy lol.
What I mean is, give us the good with the bad. More scenes like the anti wrinkle bulm would be awesome, but balance them with someone stealing his stuff or being betrayed by people he considered a friend.
I am not sure how far in the story you are in terms of planning, but some of the best stories have a good mix of what I mentioned above. The good times followed by the bad times. Too much of either makes the story either too goodie too shoes, or edgy for no reason.
I hope you can find the balance. Hope this helps in anyway.
@Onewithlego thank you very much for taking the time to offer your feedback and thoughts. Also thank you for great advice!
It has been a little difficult to find a balance so far because of A) this being my first web novel, B) this the first structured story I've managed to get this far with, and C) I'm generally the world builder vs the individual stories.
Other than knowing I wanted him to come to town and sign up as an adventurer, is gifted without knowing it, and is very naive I've been flying by the seat of my pants mostly.
The cliffhanger/open ended finish to a post suggestion I found somewhere, coupled with the ~1k word per post/chapter I set for myself has also proven challenging. Once I hit a certain point in the story I know I'll have to seriously edit and expand on some parts in order to format it into an ebook.
Perhaps it is time to try and do a bit more planning. I would hate for a bad reading experience to occur simply because I avoided doing something necessary for success.
Thanks again! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story written so far and also what is to come in the future!