
With his short, slightly curly black hair swaying in the wind, Sian, a 25-year-old man, walked quietly through the dense forest. Frustration weighed heavily on his mind as he recalled the earlier encounter with some troublesome individuals.
"These guys just had to make my bad day worse," he muttered, feeling the need to find some relief and rest.
Removing a crumpled map from a small bag around his waist, Sian began searching for the nearest town.
"Let's see... Solaris is the closest city. It's small, never heard of it, but it must have a brothel to ease my stress."
The map provided only a vague outline of the city, lacking specific building locations. Regardless, Sian decided to head to Solaris and explore its possibilities. As he ventured on, the dense forest gave way to the warm embrace of the setting sun.
In the distance, he spotted shepherds guiding their sheep. The shepherds seemed to be leading the flock back to their pen as the daylight dwindled.
Following a nearby road, Sian soon encountered a vast expanse of crops stretching on either side. Standing atop a hill, he gazed at the sheer size of the planted area, far surpassing the area of the humble dwellings in the distance.
Drawing closer to the town, Sian approached a farmer with fiery red hair, almost black, struggling under the weight of a big bag of corn in his shoulder. Placing a hand on the other shoulder of the farmer, he called, "Hey!"
The middle-aged farmer, his face adorned with freckles, turned with a start.
"Do-Do you ne-need an-anything?" he stuttered, taken aback by Sian's presence.
"Does this town have a brothel?" Sian asked.
The farmer, seeming a bit intimidated, quickly replied, “I-It has!”
"Where is it?" Sian inquired.
“Tha-That depends," the man said before continuing, “The-There are three brothels here.”
Surprised by the number of options, Sian thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Oh, more choices than I expected. Which one is the best?"
“St-Stay that way,” the farmer pointed in a certain direction. "Bu-But I-I recommend going to wh-what's a little further there."
Sian found the farmer's recommendation intriguing and decided to follow it, intrigued about the kind of establishment that lay ahead.
"Why do you say the best is what's on that way, but tell me to go to another one?" Sian inquired.
"I-I think i-it might fit better with what you're lo-looking for," the farmer quickly replied.
After learning the location of the brothel, Sian decided to follow the farmer's recommendation.
In this small town, having three brothels might not typically be a profitable venture for the owners, but the situation here was different. The presence of a fortress close to the border likely created a high demand for such services.
As Sian approached what could be considered the town's entrance, he couldn't help but notice the absence of guards. However, the lack of a surrounding wall made their presence unnecessary.
Considering the proximity of the fortress, it made sense that the town didn't require a protective barrier. Moreover, the abundance of livestock and bountiful crops indicated that the town likely served primarily as a supply point for the fortress and its occupants.
Following the middle-aged man's instructions, Sian quickly found himself standing in front of the brothel. The place didn't boast extravagance, but it also didn't appear run-down.
Stepping inside, a warm smile greeted him as a beautiful middle-aged woman approached. "Welcome, dear customer. Unfortunately, we don't have any available ladies at the moment, but if you don't mind waiting, we'll have someone ready for you soon."
"In that case, I'll try my luck elsewhere," Sian replied, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.
"Wait a moment," the woman said, looking at him curiously.. "May I know your name, sir?"
"Sian," he replied.
As if a memory had suddenly struck her, the woman's eyes lit up. "Wait right here. There might be someone available after all."
Leaving Sian standing, the woman hurriedly disappeared, but within moments, an elderly man stepped forward to take her place.
"Welcome, young mister. My name is Badonis," the old man said, his voice filled with flattery. "Please come with me to the waiting room. I might have someone you'll fancy."
Guided by Badonis, Sian settled into a reasonably comfortable armchair, where a maid promptly served him a refreshing cup of tea.
"Take a moment. She'll be here shortly," Badonis assured, ready to take his leave.
"One moment," Sian interjected, tossing a gold coin onto the table. "That's for your troubles."
"You're too kind, young mister," Badonis replied, clearly surprised by the gold coin.
"If you say she's someone I'm going to like, then it's worth the price," Sian said.
After the old man and the maid exited, Sian was left alone in the waiting room. Finding himself slightly bored, he decided to reach into his magic bag and retrieve a thick book to pass the time.
As he immersed himself in the captivating read, he sensed a presence approaching. Swiftly stowing the book away, he turned to face an attractive woman clad in sexy lingerie.
Appearing to be in her mid-thirties and with distinctive ears characteristic of the Dogkin race, the woman's appearance immediately caught Sian's attention. She bore a striking resemblance to someone from his past.
Although he usually preferred women about his age, he thought he could settle for her.
Bowing politely, the woman started to introduce herself, "Sorry for the delay, I'm O-"
"Are you the one who's going to serve me?" Sian interrupted before she could finish speaking.
"Yes, I am-"
"Great, let's go to the bedroom," Sian said, cutting her off.
As they left the waiting room area, the maid from before approached and guided them, informing them that Badonis had offered his room for their use.
"Please follow me, the room is this way," the maid said.
As they walked down the corridor, the woman glanced at Sian and asked, "Is this your first time here?"
"Yeah," Sian admitted. "I'm just passing through."
The woman nodded understandingly.
They reached the door to the room, and the maid opened it for them. Sian stepped inside, and the woman followed suit. The room was modestly furnished, with a large, comfortable bed dominating the space.
"Here we are," the maid said. "I hope you enjoy your time here." Stepping back, she closed the door behind them.
Against my better judgment, I decided to give this series a try. There were quite a few things here that made me wary to read. Regardless I'm trying it now from this chapter on.
The largest red flag among them being that the blurb screams NTR, which if that's your thing I don't have a problem with, but I'm not into that and I've checked the tags, reviews, and blurb more than once to make sure it isn't there. You don't have that mentioned nor tagged. Whether it's because you disingenuously left it out for obvious reasons or genuinely don't have that element, I don't know.
Another red flag is the title. Immature children believe in things like love at first sight and do not see just what it is. Attraction. What do you do if you're immediately attracted to someone? You take note of it, but don't let it influence your decisions. No offense to anyone here, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive, but that said a prostitute might be attractive sexually, however, there's more to attraction than sexuality. Most adults will know this well. Frankly speaking, there's a very small chance of someone working that line of work being mentally stable. So, I'm attracted sexually? So what. It ends there. Being polite as I can here, but I think that's most people's response to that even if you're a saint. Especially if you're not a teenager still believing in soul mates, love at first sight, and horoscopes. Anyway, I digress, seeing that concept as a title and potentially an integral part of this story makes me almost as wary as I am of NTR. (Again, I'm not trying to kink shame, but it just isn't my thing, and based on the description there is a high chance of it. A prostitute only sleeping with one customer is not going to happen after all.)
Then the last thing that worries me about this story is that while you have many tags that I love here, it still might not be for me. Especially if it's smut trying too hard to have a story. I came for the smut. I'm not going to lie about that. The tags are just the kind of thing I read on this site. I go to RR for serious stuff. If the rest of the things outside the smut are at least not awful, then fine, but it's still a smut story. I came for romance, smut, and all that escapism stuff.
So, despite all that said I'm still cautiously trying this series out. If I find the things I'm worried about that I mentioned, I'm sure I'm not the only one worried about this, so I'll review and then likely drop the story if I see those things. Especially NTR. It is what it is. ?♂️
So far all I can notice is that the start is a little confusing, the descriptions are entirely flat, the syntax is only passable, and that's all I can tell from this. I think having taken out the prologue this chapter could've used some extra attention. It feels a bit flat or spiritless.
My advice is that if you want to get better at your non-smut you need to work on your world building and prose. What type of dress is everyone wearing? Is it remincent of Victorian clothing? Roman toga's? Chinese qipaios and gi? Kimono's that were inspired by that dress? What? What do the streets look like? Are they packed dirt, cobbled stone, or Roman concrete? What's the atmosphere of the town? Subdued waiting for the bumper crops or festive or what? A town is a character. Why was that farmer so scared? Did he look down at the state of dress or what? Where's the body language? What sort of transportation did he pass by on his way into town? Donkeys, horses chariots, Victorian carriages, or what? What does the architecture look like? Are there soaring pagodas, zigurats, marble Roman style, or Gothic? What? What type of armor do the guards wear? Segmentata, waring states style, or what? What type of forest was he in? There are fourteen different kinds.
https://www.way2info.com/articles/different-types-of-forests/amp/
Was it old or new growth? Was it managed? A game trail he followed?
When you talk about his clothes being in a bad state, expound on that. What clothes? What does this bag he has look like and throw in some short sentence about it for exposition. And when he walks into the brothel, you needed more third or first person observations on everyone's body language.
Either way, good luck.
There will be no NTR in the story, but looking now, the blurb contains little information that can really leave the doubt in the air.
To be honest, I agree with you on some points. I didn't care much about the little details when I started writing, all I wanted was to have my own wish-fulfillment story.
Anyway, thank you for your thoughtful and careful review. I will take your suggestions into consideration when writing my next chapters.
@Lazy_Acorn
No problem, man. Good luck.
Response to the name:
I would do absolutely nothing about it. I have a very short infatuation, a month from the strength, I can keep emotions in myself. And fall in love with a whore? This is still necessary to try.
@Lazy_Acorn
(/‵Д′)/~ ╧╧
Author, I have questions for you.
Looking at the genre and tag, this is a harem story. But reading the synopsis, it's like this is a power-couple story. Title and cover also lean toward power-couple.
So dear author, what story is this? Harem? Or power-couple?
Just another random slice-of-life harem among many
Yeah boy