An old woman walked through the darkness, wearing nothing but rags and a necklace out of bones. She giggled with every step she took, clearly showing the world that she must be insane. Her blond hair seemed to fall out and her skin was full of wounds. Her red eyes were glowing in the darkness, showing signs of clear craziness as they darted around from left to right repeatedly. And then, she looked at me, opened her mouth and screamed loudly.

Abruptly, I woke up from my daydreams and directly shook my head, clearing it from any thoughts about a future in this place. I would find a way out of purgatory, with or without the evil god's help. But no matter what option it was, it would be under my conditions. I knew that he wanted to get out of here badly, just like me. But unlike him, I had a reason to bear the time inside here. If I could protect my friends like this, I could live here for some years, at least that’s what I thought at the time.

Another stone fell perfectly into place and my knee-high wall was finally completed. I laid down inside my little space, feet and hands both touching the stone that I painfully gathered over the last few hours while thinking about my options. Who knew that building your own little castle inside purgatory could be so … boring.

How long had I been there? Half a day? And I was so bored as if I stared at the scanners for days? And the worst part? I couldn’t even sleep as I was way too nervous! I was neither tired nor hungry or thirsty. Being dead certainly had its perks, but I did like eating, at least when it was something good. My conviction was already wavering, but only slightly.

Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea, at least I thought that it was. I stood up, clenched my hands into fists and screamed into the dark surroundings.

“Hey, god of love! If you can hear me, or even exists, can you become my patron? I will spread love around the world, I will scream to make peace, not war and other stuff like this if you get me out of here.” I placed my hand around my ear and listened to every sound. After several seconds, I shrugged and tried my luck with the next god.

“God of lighting, I will build tesla coils for you as much as you want and even scream as loud as the thunder … does thunder even belong to you or is there a god for it as well? Whatever, please become my patron!” I exhaled loudly, unsure if I even wanted to continue screaming, but at least it lessened the boredom to a considerable degree. I just wanted to start singing for the god of musicians as a dark creature appeared right outside my castle.

“Are you here to siege my castle? Come at me with your catapults, my walls will withstand every attack you throw at it.” I placed one foot on top of the wall but missed it completely. I tried to find the wall again, but wherever I placed my foot was just the usual ground. “I knew I should have dug a moat.”

“Don’t you fear me?” No, I didn’t. I got the feeling that he wouldn’t touch me no matter what. I somehow got to the conclusion after thinking about his behaviour until now. He scared me, he manipulated my emotions, but he didn’t hurt me for whatever reason and I doubted this would change anytime soon.

“Fear you? Why should I fear the god of …” Come to think of, he never introduced himself, which was quite rude.

“Death.” Death? Alright, in that case…

“Why should I fear the god of edginess?” I felt terror wash over me again, but I didn’t budge one bit. I even put more fuel into the fire and let it burn brightly. “After all, you are a prisoner.”

I wanted him to lose composure, to blurt out information that he wanted to stay hidden from me. But I did make the mistake to consciously think about my plan if I ever had a chance of succeeding in the first place. The terror instantly vanished as I failed badly. Not only was he calmer than me now, but my precious castle was also gone as well.

“Look at you, trembling in front of me while I haven’t hurt you one bit yet.” Was I trembling? I didn’t know as I must have done it unconsciously and couldn’t confirm it anyway. I still lifted my hand in front of me staring intensely at it.

“Yeah, you are right, I can see … absolutely nothing. Please, god of lightning, smite this god of dumbness in front of me to death.” I snipped, not really expecting any response, but still hoping for it, although only slightly.

“You are interesting, you know that? At first, I intended you to be reincarnated as a desert worm, but now I see wasted potential with this decision. Maybe you are better as a frog, I mean you could croak all day like that.” A worm? For real, that was possible? I mean, I should be shocked, but I kind of expected something like that already.

“I am honoured, your excellence. This way, I could open the doors to this place with my long tongue and salivate all over you. You could even fit perfectly into my mouth like that and together, we could hop through all eternity. Croak.” The sound at the end did it. I waited for several seconds for an answer that never came but neither came the expected reaction of rage. That was kind of a bummer.

“Lost your words? Why though, just imagine a future like this. We could be toadess and her ugly, slimy partner. You could even have some great name like toad master … no toad rider!”

I was wrong. I realized as he punched me that he would certainly try to hurt me if it would deem beneficial for him. The problem was that it just didn’t hurt at all as I crashed onto the ground. The feeling of hitting something was still transmitted to me, but the pain was nowhere to be found. Amused, I stood up, holding my fists in front of me.

“God of death, how do you deal with the dead? I mean, I cannot be more dead than I already am.” He appeared right behind me, grabbed me by my neck and threw me around like a ragdoll. From left to right, into the air and back onto the ground. It made me dizzy quite fast when he flung me through the air and I fell over as he placed me back on my feet after a few minutes.

“Like this. Do you want to continue?” As I was already on the floor, I chose to rest there, trying to shake the motion sickness off with moderate success.

“That was amaaaazi-“ His foot stomped onto my face, pushing my head a few centimetres underground. “You cannot fool me. You are the newest dog that barks when I tell her to. Understood?” No, I did not. I wasn’t a dog yet after all. If he intended me to reincarnate as one, I would certainly enjoy my pets and don’t bark. After all, the loudest dogs were probably the most annoying ones.

“Want to test that out? Why don’t you just send me away, right now?” I immediately blurted that out as he lifted his foot. I suddenly realized what I was really good at. Annoying a god and reacting on the spot.

“Say it. Promise me that you will free me.” He lifted me up by the hair, holding me right in front of him.

“Woof.” I laughed as he threw me through the air. His inability to hurt me even one bit was certainly great. After landing a few metres away, he reappeared right above me.

“Listen here you little shi-“ I interrupted him before he could spew his profanities out.

“No. You listen. You know as good as me that you have absolutely no way of convincing me to accept your proposal. I mean, you could wait a few centuries until I have gone insane from the boredom, but then I will make sure to behave like a real dog to the best of my abilities. Woof, woof. I call that checkmate.” He considered my words carefully and apparently came to the same conclusion as me. It was certainly possible and me going insane was thus not necessarily a good thing for him.

“You don’t want to spend such a long time here. You would do nearly everything to escape that fate. I call that checkmate.” Well, the possibility that I would accept his every demand before I could become unable to promise him anything certainly existed as well, but I was pretty sure that he didn’t want to gamble on that. And if he succeeded in exactly that, there was also the chance that I was unable to free him, just because I was so broken then. I was sure that he read my mind already, so I chose to conclude our little argument instead of actually replying to his statement.

“It´s a lose-lose situation for the most part. The question is if you are gambling on that little possibility where you win.” Honestly, I couldn’t think of a god as a gambler as I expected them to be quite some control freaks. I smiled as I consciously thought about what I wanted and he replied nearly instantly.

“I accept your demand you just thought about. Are you happy now?” Was I happy? I was ecstatic! It would all work perfectly if he needed to grant my three, no, four wishes completely.

“Woof.” I smiled happily as I realized that I may have just screwed a god over. “But how do I know if you keep your word once I freed you?” That was still the sole worry that I had. That he would just the promise he needed to make before I left.

“I have never broken my word before and I don’t intend to do so.” That in itself could be a lie, so he had to give me something else except his word. He grumbled as he realized that I wasn’t entirely convinced. “How about I allow you to find a way to throw me back here? Is that alright for you?”

I smiled as it was nearly perfect. As I built my now destroyed castle, I explored every possible way how I could circumvent the promise I inevitably had to make, but every plan I tried to make was way too uncertain. After all, I didn’t know what may happen to me after I left this place. Whatever he chose to reincarnate me as it would certainly be the most beneficial for him. So, I could only hope that while I may change, my feelings for my friends wouldn’t.

Thus, I decided to change this battle of knowledge into a battle of feelings, a way more uncertain terrain for both of us. To conclude, I decided to demand something horrifying, something that would stop him from doing as he pleased.

“Be. My. Dad.”

Honestly, it was the only thing I could come up with. He already said that he had to grant my wishes, including that I wanted to have a family that I could love and loved back. Quite twisted to demand an evil god to be my father, but it would certainly stop him from manipulating me too brazenly. After all, I couldn’t love him if I ever found that out. The main emphasis here was obviously can love him as I never intended to actually change my feelings about him.

“I promise you to see you as my own child. It´s your turn.” He was obviously displeased with this development but still chose to accept my demands.

“I promise to save my father from purgatory with the best of my abilities after I found a way to throw him back inside this place. Oh, and by the way, I will try to break this promise.”

“Try it, but you won´t succeed. Finding a way to hate me into all eternity and not see me as your father is the best option you have. Anyway, I already said that I will give you a parting gift, so here it is.” He stepped forward and I wondered what he wanted to do. I knew that declining was probably not an option and just hoped that he wouldn’t try something horrible.

Instead of throwing me around like a ragdoll and doing what I expected him to do, he hugged me gently. I stood there, shivering slightly, closing my eyes, clenching my hands to fists and feeling incredibly scared. After quite some time, he let go of me and I relaxed slightly. Was that his gift? A hug?

Well, it wasn’t and I realized as soon as I opened my eyes. Instead of the usual darkness, I saw blue lights, vaguely formed after human shapes. They were all walking in one direction but avoided us like the plague and I couldn’t blame them for that. There was just something about this god that seemed to be even darker now while being illuminated, that made one feel very uncomfortable in his surroundings.

“What are those things?” These lights seemed to behave like brainless humans, but they also illuminated the barren surroundings quite brightly.

“Souls, wandering off to their new life.” It made no sense. Wasn’t this place intended as a prison? He must have read my mind again because he answered this question before I could even ask anything. “It is a prison, but only for some. The broad majority travels through here towards the gate of their new world and won´t remember a thing. You just have to follow them as they are headed where you are supposed to be.”

How did he know where me and my friends were heading? Anyway, I was quite excited to finally leave this boring place, so I chose to ignore the things that he knew, but certainly shouldn’t know. He couldn’t have gotten that information from me as I was completely unaware where we were sent, so he must have another source he wanted to hide at all cost.

“Why don’t you just bring me there?” That place could have been hundreds of kilometres away and while the other souls wouldn’t mind such a distance, I would.

“I cannot follow you there.” Is that so? In that case …

“Okay, bye!” I was finally free! Every second I spent with this evil god I didn’t even know the name of would only put me in more danger, so I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. Sadly, it wasn’t that fast and the god ran beside me, seemingly with ease.

“Is that how you bid farewell to your own father?” He sounded a bit angry, but I couldn’t understand it at all. We both agreed to start this strange relationship out of necessity and I certainly didn’t want to get lovely dovely with him. “I haven’t even told you how you can free me.”

That was his fault, not mine. I covered my ears with my hands, hoping that I would never know how to save him. In response, he spoke directly into my head, something that felt as disgusting as it sounded.

“Search for the underground labyrinth of Corsk. You will know what to do when you arrive on the lowest floor. I wish you luck and success in your new life, my most beloved daughter.” He had only one daughter, which was painfully obvious and I despaired as I realized what else it implied. My chance of having a great family that I so desperately wanted was now impossible, instead of nearly impossible like it was before. I was stuck with him as my dad and thus, my wish for a family already became kind of true. He didn’t have to grant me anything in that regard and I couldn’t even complain as it was my own decision.

“Oh, my most beloved father, may you rot in this place for all eternity.” I grinned as he didn’t even react to my words at all. There was just something strangely satisfying with bullying a god.

“I´m not falling for your tricks. You would certainly try to frame me as a bad father if I tried to do anything here. Instead, I will do something that you never expect.” He paused a second while I jumped over a larger stone, still following the countless souls that were slowly walking. “I will leave.”

He vanished completely and I got the feeling that I wouldn’t see him again for quite some time. I ran on, laughing because I finally separated from him, despairing because of my uncertain future and wondering about my nearly endless stamina. Being dead certainly had its perks.

As time went on and the souls around me became more and more, I saw a strange pillar of light on the horizon, directly where I was heading. Souls seemed to lose contact with the ground there and were floating up, vanishing as they reached a certain height.

I ran faster, sped through the masses of souls, towards my new life as the daughter of an evil god. One step at a time I raced closer to my goal, always making sure to keep a steady footing until I couldn’t. Whatever this pillar of light was, it affected me just like the other souls and lifted me up into the sky, giving me one last impression of this place. A barren landscape, stretching as far as I could see with stones and bones being the only notable fact. I was incredibly glad as the light finally enveloped me and took me towards my new life.