The greatest minds, from philosophers to magicians and scientists all have one thing in common. It is a crucial ability to possess when one wants to have a calm mind. It is, despite attempts to call it visiting the dreamland wonderland, or even resting with closed eyes, commonly called sleep.

And I was naturally one of these greatest minds … okay, after I came back to the mansion, barely before sunrise and drank a lot of blood, I had to realize that my ability to get rid of the drugs by drinking blood was severely limited during the day. I got rid of most of the problems and a certain elephant vanished, but it was swiftly replaced with serve headaches, a groggy feeling all over my body and a general desire to just close my eyes for all eternity. I just wanted to sleep.

“Lucinda …” The greatest minds had something else in common … an enemy. Be it haters who don’t believe, or simply a mother who just didn´t care how miserable I felt.

“Lucinda.” Once again, Mary poked my cheek while I tried to ignore her for good. Somehow, it felt way better to be the one poking instead of being the one who was kept awake.

“Lucinda?” I turned to my side and pulled the blanket over my head, gaining a distinct advantage over her. She couldn’t poke me anymore and would eventually leave me alone now … at least that’s what I could come up with as the headaches severely limited my ability to think straight, even more than the drugs did.

A few seconds after I escaped her poking, she simply dragged the blanket off me and stared at me, speechless.

“What happened to your leg?” She asked after several seconds in which I tried to snatch the blanket away from her again. My right leg was a bit mutilated, to be honest. Multiple times, I placed a hot poker on my skin, trying to get rid of the itch that I definitely didn´t want to satisfy with my own hands. It helped, but my whole thigh was littered with painful burns because of that. I also considered ramming this thing into my mouth, but discarded the idea as I couldn’t lift it up properly anyway. The only thing that spared my throat of a scorching piece of iron was literally my inability to hurt myself …

“… a slight mishap on the way back?” I said and held my head as searing pain shot through it. Getting high was great for a time, at least for a few hours. Ten out of ten would do again … I just wouldn’t be able to do the kinds of stuff I did without drugs. Just for a second, I thought that maybe I shouldn’t do these things in the first place then, but dismissed this thought equally fast.

“You are lying … do you want to talk about it?” She asked concerned.

“I´d rather not …” I answered, still hoping she would simply go away.

“Okay. I´ll write a letter to your tutor that you won´t come today.” Maybe I should feign an illness in the future to skip these lessons. Something along the lines of headaches or stomach pain which weren’t exactly easy to disproof. “But Hannah wants to speak to you.”

“Hannah?” I asked, still thinking about skipping classes in the future, albeit very slowly.

“Are you … can I help in any way?” She said very concerned and took a good look at me once more.

“No … just tell me what she wants.” I wasn’t the brightest at that moment and may, or may not, completely forgot about what I asked Mary for or what Hannah and I talked about earlier.

“She wants to talk to you, but I honestly don’t think you are in any condition to do so.” I nodded, but then quickly shook my head.

“I´m fine. I´m fine.” As if repeating it overshadowed how weakly I pulled on the blanket she held with one hand. “What´s the worst that could happen anyway?” I asked, already swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and finally letting go of the blanket.

“You won´t like what Hannah and I worked out.” She said, to which I simply shrugged. Afterwards, I stood up with wobbly legs, only to nearly fall down again. Every day, I felt weak, but never this weak. I could basically truthfully sign a document stating my legs were out of pudding at this point.

I groaned grumpily as Mary caught me under my armpit, steadying me to the best of her ability.

“Should I make you a herbal tea?”  I froze completely. The last thing to drink she gave me was animal blood, which was honestly disgusting. Could her tea even be good, if she wanted to prepare it in the first place?

“No. Thank you.” I said swiftly and steadied myself. The horrifying thought of drinking her tea worked wonders. Much more enthusiastic to paint a healthy picture of myself, I rejected her attempts to help me walk out of the room, even though they were much appreciated.

“To the left, not to the right.” As soon as I walked out into the hallway and went to the right, her voice resounded behind me. At first, I thought it was my wayfinding again. Gently placing my fist onto the wall, but already imagining to punch straight through it because of these damn headaches and my incompetence, I turned around. Only at this point did I realize there were only a few guest rooms to the left, which could only mean that Mary took Hannah´s security seriously.

Just like I thought, Mary led me into the guest room right next to mine which could only mean one thing. Mary managed to convince Hannah to stay with me, although she acted like the solution they found wasn’t something that benefited me too much.

Mary opened the door for me, revealing a not too different room than mine. A comfortable bed, a table in the middle with four chairs, a few drawers, a maid who sat at the table … okay, I probably had a lot more clothing and books than she had, but otherwise, it was completely the same. Mary sat down right next to Hannah, leaving me with no other choice than to sit opposite of them.

First of all, I had to show everyone that it was me who was in charge of this negotiation, or whatever this was supposed to be. So, I used the widely recognized power move o placing the forehead on the table to tell everyone how sleepy I was. Then … I didn´t know what to do anymore. I spectacularly failed of taking the lead.

“We need to talk about the elephant in the room.” Hannah said and I shut my eyes.

“You can see him as well?” I asked, slightly hopeful. Maybe I hadn’t been that full of drugs and the giraffe and elephant were real.

“What? It is a metaphor. Mary told me everything.” Hannah started, completely ignoring my condition. She wasn’t the only one at fault though as I looked exactly like always and my behaviour was probably hard to judge for someone who didn´t know me that good.

“And?” I finally asked after a few seconds of silence and lifted my head up, resting my chin on my hand.

“I don’t want to be reduced on my race.” It was a mistake to pretend I was even remotely interested in her feelings.

“And?” I asked once more, this time a lot more annoyed and tired of this. She wouldn’t be sitting there if she didn´t want to stay, no matter what she claimed.

“I also want to be able to decide my own future.” She stated. As if nobody else wanted to be in charge of their destiny, including me.

“And?” I asked, clearly tired by this conversation.

“And you need me more than I do, am I right, Miss White?” That did surprise me a bit, but I couldn’t really follow straight away. I could discard her whenever I wanted and she needed me for survival, except Mary wanted to step in which she would undoubtedly do.

“Precisely. You invited her into this house with the authority of my daughter. You aren’t able to do evil to her, except you want me to throw you out.” The fronts were now clearer than ever. I was still unsure why Mary was so supportive of Hannah though.

“And?” I said, mere seconds before Hannah jolted forwards and punched me straight on my nose. I didn´t even have time to react. It wasn’t as if she was fast, it was just that I was incredibly slow. She lunged over the table immediately afterwards, grabbing me by the collar and tilting the chair backwards until I fell. Painfully, I hit the back of my head on the ground, just as I started to react.

There were no more assaults while I held my head as pain shot through it. I couldn’t resist, I couldn’t even understand what has gotten into her. Instead of hurting my already bleeding nose further, she snatched away the glasses on my face, rendering me completely blind. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to resist and grab my sunglasses, but I missed holding them in place completely, even though they were directly in front of my eyes.

“You are weak during the day.” Hannah concluded, mere seconds after she walked away from me and sat down on her chair again. Meanwhile, I wiped the blood, running out of my nose, away repeatedly, only to resign as the flow didn´t stop at all. Pinching my nose close, I felt the chair right next to me and struggled to sit on it. Once again, Mary needed to help me because I was completely done with this day. I could barely keep my head upright and the blindness certainly didn´t help.

“You … are … so close … to death.” I muttered underneath my breath, my head swaying back and forth slowly.

“You will not.” Mary said sternly.

“She … started ….” I uttered, but failed to go on.

“It is the only chance to convince you that you need her as much as she needs you.” Mary said, trying to defuse the situation somewhat.

“I am going to protect you during the day and I will work as your maid. You will provide shelter, security and freedom for me. That is the deal.” Hannah said, strangely bold with her approach all of a sudden.

“You … want to protect me?” She was pitiful and couldn’t even stand up for herself. Her claim was a bit over the top in my opinion.

“I know that I am weak right now. But I can improve. Train me.” I laughed loudly. This timid, weak girl was supposed to protect me? Even though I couldn’t see her, I was entirely sure she shrank back as I leaned over the table, dripping my blood on it. My anger flared up, and with it, came a bit of strength.

“You cannot even protect yourself.” I said, full of hostility.

“Everyone can become stronger, you just have to give them a chance.” Mary said and slid a piece of paper over to me and soon afterwards, placed my sunglasses in the palm of my hand. Very slowly, I placed them on my nose again and squinted my eyes, still bleeding from my nose into my hand.

I had a hard time reading because my vision was incredibly hazy, but in the end, the contracts were relatively easy to summarize. I would protect her during the night and day, she would protect me during the day. If I ever abused her, hurt her, drank her blood and whatever else they came up with while I was away, Mary would kick me out. The united front against me was quite firm, although I wasn’t exactly bothered by it. Mary did what I asked her to and Hannah would help me like this.

“If you agree, you have to sign it.” Mary said as if I ever cared about official documents.

“Fine.” I answered, lifted my blood strained trembling hand above the paper and watched how the blood dripped onto it. Mary did expect such an action from me, but Hannah was genuinely surprised, if not outright disgusted. “And now I want to go to bed … I need a pillow.”