Chapter 3 — I hate you. But thanks for raising me. Now die

 

 

    Arriving at the old-age home in the middle of the night, Yurei slipped through the guards and CCTV cameras with ease, entering a certain two-person room to see two people sleeping with various medical apparatuses attached to them.

To his right was a bald, wrinkly old man and to his left, a sick, elderly woman with frazzled, short white hair. Looking at them like that, Yurei felt a weird sensation in his chest.

Shoving that phenomenon aside, he then proceeded to check their physical conditions by letting a thin stream of his mana course through them.

 

    Scan…
    Well look at that.

    ++Guess karma acted like a bitch++

    Mmhmm. The geezer’s got late stage lung cancer on top of liver cancer while the hag’s got a nice oversized malignant tumour crammed up her head. Pretty fitting after what they did to you Lunaire.

    —……—

    ++Lunaire?++

    …finish them off Lunaire. They were your parents.

    Handing the control of his body over to Lunaire, Yurei quietly took a seat in the back of his mind. Now seated on the Central Throne, he directed a sideways glance to Solaire who came into being on the Right Throne. Solaire answered back with a look of his own before turning away. Slowly, the both of them closed their eyes as they directed their attention outwards.

Lunaire, having the same mind as the both of them knew. The two had absolutely no intentions of intervening as they rested within their Mental World. This was something he had to do on his own. This was always a burden weighing on him. While at first, he never had time to finish it off, ever since Sky barged in on their life, he felt like he didn't want to bother him with such a ‘trivial’ matter.

And now, having full control over their body, Lunaire slowly took in the frail vestiges of what were once his parents, the most hurtful episodes surging their mind.

 

---

 

    The silence in the living room seemed to unnerve the 5 year old boy. He stood there, grasping at the seams of his shirt with his tiny fingers, peeking at yet not meeting his mother’s fierce eyes as she flipped through his test papers.

The boy was hard-working to say the least. Clever at his worst and wise at his best, he scored a full 100 in all but one subject through hours and days of struggles. His teachers praised him with bright smiles and head-pats and told him that his parents would be proud of him. That they would praise him and love him and smile at him just like they did. And yet, here he was, trembling in fear with an childish hope that his mother will react just like they told him.

 

    As his mother’s eyes stopped and bore into the final paper where instead of a red circled 100, there was a 98, time seemed to crawl to a halt for the boy as she scanned through the contents. He felt anxious yet hopeful, scared yet doubtful. He waited and waited for a single smile, a simple hug, a small sign of affection and parental love. Yet what he received for all his hard work was—

*slap!*

A slap.

The boy felt a stinging burn on his cheek. Before he even comprehended what happened, tears were carving rivers down his cheeks, one normal and one painfully red.

 

    “You… couldn’t solve such a simple question?” she asked, her voice cold and her hand reaching out, grabbing the boy by the arm so tightly that it made him wince in pain.

    The child whose feeble hopes were crushed once again, instinctively apologized, a frightened “sorry”, escaping his quivering lips as his free hand poorly rubbed at his eyes. 

    “Sorry?” the woman repeated incredulously, shoving the boy, causing him to painfully hit his head on the ground.

“No dinner for you today, go and study until bedtime.”

“yes,” he sobbed feebly as he trotted away, not halting his trembling limbs even as he heard his mother’s faint voice through the narrow hallway.

    “If only you weren’t born…”

    At his age, the boy didn’t truly understand what his mother’s words meant. But that did not mean he couldn’t feel the thorns those words were tainted with. While the wording might be different, he heard the same phrase over and over again. He felt the same emotions within them over and over again. Like a curse it haunted him as resurfaced in his mind every now and then.

Quietly shutting the door to his room, he flopped down on his bed, face first into the pillow as he let out silent sobs. All the while, a single question rumbled in his mind.

 

    Why?

    Like every other ordinary day, the boy, Yuuki once again Wept in Despair.

 

* * * * *

 

    “Go! Yuuki-san!” the girl shouted as she passed on the baton.

    “Yes” Yuuki replied as he took the baton from her hands and ran.

    The school’s annual sports fest. Yuuki was 7 years old and was currently participating in the mixed relay-race. 

He ran as fast as he could. As the curve came up, he saw it as a chance to catch up and get first place. He sped up in hopes of doing so. 

    And yet, just as he was about to overtake the boy right beside him—

    *slam*

    He fell. Like always, he fell. He tripped and fell, coughing as dust entered his lungs. Raising his head dazedly, Yuuki blankly looked back at the cause. It was a pebble. A single marble-sized pebble caused him to trip and fall miserably on his face.

    “Get up!” “Hurry!” “Come on!”

    He could hear the shouts and encouraging screams of the children from his class. Yet he wondered why they did so. Yuuki never thought that he was their friend, not with his gloomy, timid nature. Rather, he felt like they thought of him as only an acquaintance at best. And yet, they cheered him on. Looking around, he could also see the worried gazes of many parents that came for the festivities as well. Taking a moment to process all this in his tiny, naive mind, that same question reared its head again.

 

    Why?

    Yuuki stood up and ran. It hurt him to run. It felt like his legs were on fire. But despite the agony, he ran. He thought nothing of this pain. This was nothing compared to the pinpricks and needles he felt stab into his heart because of his parents.

And yet, he didn’t know why, but he felt this discomfort in his chest despite not talking to his parents today, but for now he shoved that thought for later. He only had one goal on his mind, and that was crossing the finish line. 
.
.

Despite the odds, he achieved third place and received praise from his peers and teachers for how hard he tried, the discomfort in his chest increasing yet not in anyway harmful. He let out a shy smile as he basked in that warmth.

But, not even that was meant to last.

* * *

    “THIRD PLACE?!?!” 

    The drunken mess of a man shouted as he angrily grabbed at Yuuki’s neck. On the side was his mother, nonplussed as she worked on her laptop, a scowl on her face.

Yuuki had rather animatedly mentioned that he got third place in the relay. And this was the result.

    “Back in my tahyme, I woulda gotten phirst! Phirst! Why you Third?! Third means nothi!!”

    The stench of alcohol coming off his breath made Yuuki nearly gag, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He let out a whimper as he replied, sniffling as he didn’t dare meet his father’s bloodshot eyes.

 

    “s-slipped.” 

    “Hah! What’d ya shay!” 

    “I-I s-s-slipped a-and f-fe-fell.”

    “So you got third cuz you tripped?!”

    *smack!*

    His father then shoved Yuuki as he let go, eliciting a yelp of pain as his body slammed into the wall.

    “You goo-fo-nothi! You neba shooda be born!! Dish all your fault!”
    Shouting, his father then steered his drunken rampage at his mother.

    “Haa! And how is this my fault!” but unlike Yuuki, his mother lashed out at his father with her venomous tongue, not afraid of being injured in the slightest.

    “If only you notished you ber pregnant phashter!”

    “And you think I could do that! Everyday I do chores and work past midnight! Not once could I get a break except for that stupid maternity leave! If it weren't for you not signing the papers, I would've left already!”

Not wanting to witness their fight again, Yuuki quietly staggered off to his room and buried his face in his pillow, his tears soaking it wet. Even now he could hear their shouts past the thick concrete walls and solid wooden doors.

As he clamped his ears shut once again, that same question haunted him as he drifted off to slumber.

 

Why?

 

Once again, the boy quietly Wept in Despair.

 

* * * * *

 

    The final breaking straw was when Yuuki was 11 years old. Over the years, his heart had grown cold due to his ‘family circumstances’ but recently he felt a sense of tranquillity.

The cause of that was perfectly normal for anyone his age. Although he couldn't say whether it was love or not, if asked whether he liked or hated ‘a certain girl’, he would definitely answer with like.

    It was just another normal day as he headed to school and went about his classes, conversing with the girl seated next to him and hastily answering when the teachers asked him to, his ears turning red at the muffled giggles of the girl beside him. And yet, it was what happened right before lunch, during Phys Ed when he felt something break.

It was on that day he felt the world truly was against him and not worth living in.

* * *

    After experiencing what even grown adults should never, the classes passed by like a haze before it was time to go back to his house.

    “Tadaima”

    He muttered as he took off his shoes. Walking to his room, he abruptly halted at the foot of the staircase. He didn’t know what took over him but instead of his room, he slowly walked over to the living room where his mother was working.

 

    Looking at his mother’s back he uttered a simple, “okaa-san?”

    “What?” His mother snappishly asked, not even looking away from her laptop.

    Not hearing even a blip from her son yet feeling his gaze on her, she turned around and looked at Yuuki with a scowl on her face, “this better be worth my time.”

 

    !!!  Being on the receiving end of her glare, Yuuki felt terrified.

    With what had happened, he no longer saw her as his mother first. All he saw was a woman with an all too familiar face. Thinking so, he quickly uttered, “no, sorry for wasting your time,” as he looked down, his eyes hidden beneath his unkempt bangs; his hands were quickly hidden from her view.

    Hearing his wasteful reply, his mother audibly snapped. The air somehow growing colder, she growled out, “go to your room. Now. Understood?”

“yes” He answered as he was already walking away.

Reaching the door to his room, he heard his mother’s screams, “Goddammit! Wasting my time like that! Shit!”

* * *

    Opening the door with his free hand, he walked in and closed it behind him.

    *thump*

    His bag slipping off of his shoulder, he stood there motionless with the door to his back. Staring at the ground, his fist slowly, maybe even deliberately brought the razor blade to his wrist over the course of what seemed like an eternity.

 

Eventually, that same ugly question reared its same ugly head again.

 

    Why?

    And...

    WHY?

    Unlike every other time…

    WHY?

    This time…

    WHY!? .....he had an answer to that question. 

    The answer was one that was shoved in his face after the world cruelly trapped him in a sealed room, the only light present streamed down the sole window an insurmountable height above obscured by the silhouette of the figure that towered over him.

    *thud*

    His legs gave in as he slumped onto the floor, his back hit against the door. Stifled laughter leaked out of his lips as tears streaked down his face. No matter how much he tried, the razor barely cut into his skin.

“Ha-haha. Haha.”

Remembering what he underwent only a few hours prior, the disgusting euphoria vividly etched into him, ‘her’ words echoed in his mind as he dropped the razor and held his knees shaking and shivering, traumatically reliving everything in his mind.

 

    “Hehe. Hehehe. Heh. Heh… hic… hic… *sniff* hic.”

    For what seemed like forever, Yuuki cried and cried all to himself. He washed all of his pain and agony with his tears, drowning them in a never-ending sea. Silently he cried. Wordlessly he cried. Absentmindedly he just… cried.
.
.
.
.

Eventually the tears stopped. But he didn’t raise his head. It felt as if he was staring at the ground but he wasn’t. And, amidst all this, he heard it again.

 

     Why?

    This time he slowly opened his mouth, taking his time to enunciate each word as if to make himself understand what he was saying. To… finally accept what his mind had in store.

 

    “I… don’t care.”

    Why?
    .
    .

    “I… don’t know.”

    Why?
    .
    .

    “I-”
    His head slowly rose from its slumped state before giving out, slamming into the door as he now blankly stared at the clear blue sky outside the window.

    “I give in.”

    What seemed like the last tears that he would ever shed spilled down his cheeks. Unlike his previous tears, Yuuki felt these tears to be fleeting. They weren’t burning his skin like before. They weren’t stinging his eyes like before.

They felt thin. Absurdly thin. And watery and cold and soothing and a plethora of other nice sensations as they slowly... and steadily... lulled him to sleep.

 

It was at that moment that Yuuki, for the first and last time ever Wallowed in Despair.

 

---

 

    Despite being an Energy-being, Lunaire felt his throat dry up. The scythe in his arms felt substantial as it trembled. Looking at them, Lunaire felt something inside of him burst.

Dematerialising his scythe, he teleported over to the side of their beds. Both of their necks, an arms distance away.

 

    —I think I understand now— he hoarsely thought out.

    What do you understand, Lunaire? Yurei softly asked.

    —Hatred—
    .
    .
    .

    —I… didn't have the leisure to hate before. I deluded myself with excuses thinking that I don't feel anything towards them. Unlike my hate for Sky, I feel a disgusting hatred for this. I feel like retching up just by looking at these things. I just want to be over with it... to just tear these... these bitches apart as soon as possible. I don't know how far I'll go... which is why—

—Seal—

Casting a barrier around the room, Lunaire prevented any noise from leaking out. He also infused a mental inhibitor causing anyone nearing the place to avoid it as he slowly gripped their necks.

 

    ‘!?’ ‘Hmfph!’

    Due to the sudden pain, the two were jolted awake to a shadowy figure choking them. All they could see in the dim moonlight was the figure’s dull black hair and its pale white mask.

    ‘‘Sh-shinigami!!??’’

    Listening to their thoughts, Lunaire’s grip on their necks tightened, eliciting gasps and weak groans from the two.

—Clear Mind—

Temporarily freeing their mind of the pain, Lunaire opened his mouth and spoke to them in the voice that haunted them the most. The voice of Yuuki who died all those years ago.

    “I hate you two.”

    ‘!?’  ‘!!’

    “I want to kill you so much yet make you suffer as well for what you all did and didn’t do,” he continued, ignoring their thrashing.

“I didn’t all this time because I had no reason to. You would have died anyways.”

‘Let go!’ ‘Is this how you treat your parents you unfilial brat!?’

Greeted with their venom-laced thoughts and hate-filled glares, Lunaire dispelled Clear Mind and answered them.

 

    “It’s because I still think of you two as my parents that I’ll kill you. I’ll cut my ties on my own rather than let the world do it.”

‘No... do-n’t’ ‘st-op’

Noticing that their thoughts were slurring, Lunaire could finally hear their heart-rate monitors beep incessantly and decided to finish it once and for all.

    “Otou-san, okaa-san, if there’s one thing I’m thankful for, it’s you two raising me. Thanks to that I could meet nii-san after all. Sayonara”

*snap*

Breaking their necks at the same moment, he extracted their souls from their bodies and sent them to Reincarnation before he could speculate doing anything else.

Looking at the monitors, he zapped them with an abnormally large spark, short-circuiting them before turning his attention to the dead bodies.

 

—I’m not burying you. And neither am I leaving your ashes behind. I’m ‘unfilial’ after all—

—Hellfire—

The two bodies spontaneously combusted into pitch black flames. The flames only burned the bodies, leaving everything else perfectly intact, not a scorch mark in sight.

 

    As the last of the flames vanished, silence descended. Looking around the now quiet room, devoid of any presence except his, Lunaire felt serenity. A weird sense of stillness washed over him like the type before a storm. He had a feeling that the moment he finished ‘her’ off, their Origin Energy would undergo a change again like back in Sky’s Domain.

Two down Lunaire.

++Only one to go++

—Mmhmm— responding passively to their statements, Lunaire headed out of the building, removing the barrier and streaking across the land and sea to where ‘she’ was.

 

 

---