75. Waiting
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Shadow spent the remainder of the walk to the guardhouse cradled to Jonas’s chest. Her head was resting on his shoulder, with her eyes just barely cracked, lazily watching the town pass by. It still felt odd to be carried like this, but she enjoyed the feeling of warmth and safety it brought. She didn’t feel like being tough anymore. She could be tough later.

Jonas was right, at least, about needing some time. Right now, everything was too fresh and confusing. It was better to talk about the heavy stuff after they’d had some time for their emotions to settle. Shadow remembered how… harsh Annie had been with her right after she’d killed the trapper. Annie had said things she didn’t mean because of her intense emotions, as she’d explained later. Shadow thought this was the same sort of thing, with Jonas having thoughts and saying things he wouldn’t normally say because he was upset.

Emotions really were troublesome things sometimes. Shadow would never want to give them up, though. Awe was an emotion. So was joy. And curiosity. And love. Even the emotions that were less positive could be good in their own way. They drove you to action. The fear she felt whenever Annie or Jonas was threatened was a wonderful incentive to keep them safe. And the thought of something happening to one of them, and her feeling nothing…

No. Emotions were good. Even though they made things hard sometimes.

She laughed at herself a bit, drawing a glance and a raised eyebrow from Jonas. She shook her head, nuzzled him, and went back to people watching. She’d laughed at how… strange her thoughts were becoming lately. So much thinking about thinking. Thinking about emotions. Thinking about other people’s thoughts and emotions, and the complex web of interactions they all wove together. Thinking about the morality of things and working out what that even meant to her.

Things had been so much simpler before.

Not better though. She wouldn’t give this up. All this newness. The expanding of her horizons. Her new family.

She snuggled into Jonas’s neck a bit.

Here she had a person that got sad and angry and cried because he hadn’t been perfect in protecting her. He cared about her that much. She wished he was less mean to himself about it, but it was still touching. And she knew her mom was the same. And Shadow felt the same way about them.

She loved these people, these humans, and they loved her. She would never, ever give that up. Not if she could help it.

She lifted her head and looked behind her as she heard a door being opened. The beastkin guard lady was moving through a doorway into a big, stone building.

Shadow felt a small rush of excitement, pushing back some of the soft, thoughtful, haze she’d fallen into during the walk. She’d never been in a stone building before. She looked around with interest at its construction as Jonas kept following the woman.

They walked down a short hallway into a room with a few big tables and benches in it, as well as a few smaller ones, and numerous doors leading to what Shadow assumed to be rooms in intervals. There were more guards inside, most of them sitting down, eating, and talking, while a few moved around the periphery with purpose. Shadow’s group didn’t stay in the big room long, as the guard led them to a side room with a table and some chairs around it.

“Alright, you two just have a seat here, and we’ll get someone in to talk to you in just a bit.” The beastkin informed them, before nodding to a guard that also followed them in. “Fredric here will keep you company until then.”

Shadow and Jonas both nodded, and Jonas sat in one of the available chairs. Shadow transitioned from being held to sitting on his lap. The beastkin lady left and closed the door behind her.

Shadow couldn’t help but notice that the other kids hadn’t been led into the room with them. They had been right behind her and Jonas, but apparently, they were being taken somewhere else?

She glanced up at Jonas and then over to Fredric. The human guard had taken one of the chairs and moved it to a wall before sitting in it. She wondered if she could ask him about where the kids had gone. She worried a bit about using her dark magic, but figured it should be fine at this point. The guards definitely knew about it.

She decided to ask her uncle anyway, though. A quick tap on Jonas’s shoulder to get his attention, followed by miming some writing and pointing between her and the guard got the point across.

“You want to talk to him?” Jonas asked.

She nodded.

“Hmm. We could ask if they’d grab us a tablet, but… not much point to that, is there? If they don’t know already, they certainly will once you explain what happened.” He paused for a moment. “I’m, uhh, assuming magic was involved in your, um, rescue? What with the darkness when I ran in?”

Shadow nodded again.

“Well then, not much reason to hide it.” Jonas cleared his throat. “Mr. Fredric?” he called.

The guard looked over at them.

“Hmm?” he questioned.

“Shadow,” Jonas said, motioning at her. “was wondering if she could have a word.”

“Oh, uhm, there’ll be someone in shortly to talk to you about what happened. Just hold on a bit.” The guard supplied, leaning back in his chair again.

‘I just wanted to ask where the kids went! Are they gonna be okay?’ Shadow hastily wrote in front of him.

Fredric jumped at the sight of the text suddenly appearing in front of him, his hand shooting to his sword before catching himself. He shot a glare at Shadow.

“The hell!? You tryin’ to be funny or something, casting shit at me!? What’s wrong with you, kid?” he half yelled at her.

Shadow shrunk back eyes going wide, as her text winked out. She wasn’t expecting the sudden hostility. She was pretty sure he hadn’t even bothered to read her message.

Jonas’s eye’s narrowed as he straightened in the chair, going quickly from lounging to looming.

“Watch your damn tone!” Jonas growled threateningly. “She’s just trying to talk. Her throat doesn’t work right, so she has to communicate like that!” he asserted.

Fredric looked surprised for a second, leaning back a bit in the face of Jonas’s anger, before gathering himself.

“She had to use dark magic? Who in the hells does that?” he shot back with indignation.

“Maybe someone who’s lost her wax tablets because she was just kidnapped!” He finished with a shout, glaring at the guard.

“Well, how the hells was I supposed to know that! You… you coulda said something!” he defended himself.

Jonas just got angrier.

“If you had taken a second to read before you started spoutin’—”

‘Please stop!’ Shadow interjected, popping two copies of the text up large, right between the two men. Shadow looked between the men with wide eyes, sitting up straight in Jonas’s lap. This... this was just a little miscommunication! All this yelling wasn’t necessary!

Both men stopped talking.

She turned to the guard, who thankfully seemed more inclined to read this time around.

‘I’m sorry I scared you with the spell. I really didn’t mean to.’ She apologized to Fredric, putting on her most apologetic face.

He looked at her after having read the text, seeming somewhat mollified.

“Well… you didn’t… scare me, just startled me is all. Not every day you have a dark mage casting their spells at you. Folk don’t do that sort of thing,” he said, giving her a stern look. Her apology seemed to have cooled him down significantly.

‘I… got used to using it when we traveled. I... forgot how... startling it can be for people who don’t know about it.’ She explained. She supposed that wasn’t completely true. She hadn’t forgotten, she just figured the guard's foreknowledge of her magic would be sufficient. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. She should have waited for Jonas to explain further, but she'd jumped in without thinking when Fredric seemed to be dismissing her.

"Yeah, sure. Just warn a guy next time, alright?" Fredric said, giving her a look.

She gave him a nod.

Then she looked back at Jonas. Her uncle was still fuming. She could actually smell it, even with the overpowering smell of the city, given her location on his lap.

Considering the conversation they’d had on the way over, Shadow had some idea about why this had him so angry.

She scooted herself around in his lap so she could put her paws on his shoulders.

Thank you for defending me. But I’m okay, alright? I'm fine.’ she wrote, giving Jonas her best attempt at one of the reassuring smiles Annie always made.

Jonas stared at her for a long moment, before his eyes locked back on the guard, still angry.

He started to talk but Shadow shook her head to cut him off.

Jonas stopped, but raised an eyebrow at her.

She looked down for a moment to gather her thoughts, before meeting Jonas's eyes again.

'Please don't fight. I'm really okay. More fighting... isn't helping me feel safe,' she explained.

Something in him finally seemed to shift, and he broke eye contact, taking a deep breath.

“Gods. I’m a mess," he said, running his hands through his hair.

'You'll be okay too! You just need time, right?' Shadow offered, giving him another smile.

Jonas gave her a deadpan look and groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"You should not be having to comfort me. This is supposed to be the other way around. I’m not the one who got kidnapped!” He grumbled.

Shadow gave him a hug anyway.

‘I don’t mind!’ She wrote.

He started chuckling, and squeezed her back.

Shadow was about to break off and go ask her question again, when the door opened.

A guard came in first, but was shortly followed by a red-eyed Annie.

Shadow saw her entire posture relax when Annie spotted her. Shadow noticed herself relax as well.

“Hey. You doing okay?” Annie asked.

Shadow nodded, and reached out a paw, inviting her into the hug.

It was a little awkward, what with her and Jonas seated and Annie still standing up, but it felt good regardless.

“I’m sorry to interrupt such a touching scene.” A voice said. Shadow looked up to see a man sitting across from them at the table. She hadn’t even noticed him come in the room, let alone sit down. He must have followed Annie in. She'd been pretty distracted.

The man settled back in the chair once he had their attention.

“I’m Inquisitor Rubio, and I was hoping you all could fill some things in for me.”

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