A dying light in the face of the encroaching night, as I lay down on my side I feel the scream from inside twisting and seeking to escape. A dream of better days as the horror of the past stretches to take me. All that I need is a hand to help pull me free from the nightmare I can’t escape. Yet forgotten I am as I stay alone, no hand reached out, no arm upon which I can hold. My house lies empty and cold. Don’t want to be lead down into the dark one more time, I would rather drown my light of life. Here in this cold and distant home, I can’t seem to let things go. An ambition that burns so bright it scorches my own soul. In the end I caused it all as I find my path upon the bodies of those who don’t know. Yet still I can’t let it go, this desire I hold deep inside is pushing me further on despite my tired and stumbling steps.
Less and less I feel it now, I deny the feeling inside that my human side is dissolute and dissipating away. I am wanting to keep the illusion that it is still there, yet now I am lost within this dream of my own creation. My hands have wrought the cage that now surrounds me, my mind convinced of its own strength as much as what remains of my heart cries out and beats slow down. In all that I fear this is what leaves me wanting, falling from hope and now I am trapped within my own mind. Unable to run, not even able to conceive of the thought as I take it all away, the emptying shell of self which I hollow out with unfeeling hands.
Wanting and dreaming that all is okay, within the dappled sunlight I watch the approach of the night sky. Deep inside I feel the call for a place to rest, a hand to grasp, yet still I give an empty smile to all that I see. Pushed away, scorned and shamed those who rested and provided succour now cast hateful eyes my way. Endless complaints emerge from their lips seeking to poison all he lend an ear to hear. Words of the abandoned and weak, those I stepped on to take my path. Advice given, and words previously lent, ignored and discarded by their own failing ambitions, they are just another step. Cautions taken had failed to be met, an inevitable outcome for those that are doused in their own arrogance. Hate is the one who does not notice their own failings. Yet I feel I am the same on a similar base level, claiming awareness while being ignorant of the fact.
Can’t hid from the stares, can’t avoid my empty feeling. Can’t cast it away, with tired eyes I face. Bear it all alone and fight against the self, ego is not needed, the path is all that exists. Let it slowly fade, let it all fade away, those lives and those dreams, those feelings and those things. Let it all just fade away, let time just wash it away. The water will wet your shoes, dry is not for those who do, so let it all just fade away. A tired mind that drifts away. No arm upon which to rest, that too can fade away.
