A week ago I accidentally walked into a girl.

The poor girl was weeping and crying alone, far away from the usual migration routes. Since I use these faraway roads often, I was given mercy by the God.

An entire girl, all alone, and all to myself.

“Heya~. What’s up~?”

The girl turned her head at me, and looked at me with her tear-filled eyes.

“He… He abandoned meeeee!!!” And the dam was breached…

What happened next was just a bunch of comforting words, a warm hug, and berating the girl’s former fiancée.

There was nothing much at all.

Well, I may’ve then said a cheesy line from an eroge, something like: ‘He may have abandoned you, but the life is not over. Stay cheerful, and boys will line up for you, just like I did~’.

Who could’ve thought that the girl will really find herself a soulmate, and they will become the most sensual love doves of the Academy…

“Like, seriously…? C’mon, girls! One at a time!” I tried to organize the line of girls who came to get a counseling.

Ever since the girls found out that I counseled the lovey-dovey couple, they started harassing me for a love advise for themselves. I didn’t even need to search for them, or crawl around in bushes to get closer, they were really just crowding around me, like Wildcats crowd around IJN carrier.

For some time I was dumbing around, and honestly trying to sort this mess out. Then I finally understood that one’s trouble, is another one’s opportunity.

I flipped my trouble into opportunity, and got myself a paid service: ‘divination on pantsushots’. To make matters creepier weirder, my ‘divinations’ were actually working. The supply of desperate souls was only increasing, up to the point when I found myself setting up a provisionary divination booth.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Another happy girl bowed a couple of times, and flew out of the tent to try out my advices.

“Next!”

While I was wondering how in the world I managed to have new panties show up constantly, yet another girl entered.

“Hm? W-WAIT?! IT IS YOU?!” It was a very loud girl, who also happened to be close to the magnet for girls (Crown prince).

“What’s up?” I looked at the Crown prince’s fiancée.

The girl gave me a wry smile, and sat down.

“My husband spends less and less time with me.” (CPF)

“Problem understood. The divination requires…”

“Let us get this over with!” She glared at me, but still lifted her skirt.

‘Click’

After I savored the white innocence, I came up with an answer.

“Maybe you need to ask Iowa what they usually study together, and then choose the subjects you are least knowledgeable in.”

“And how would that even…?!” (CPF)

“Patience, young padawan. Then you need to ‘accidentally’ walk into him, and while you two talk, you need to mention that you have troubles studying. If he has head on his shoulders, he will invite you to study together.”

“And if he is my husband?” (CPF)

“?”

“He is ‘a bit’ dense.” Aaah~!

“In this case… ‘Honey~, can you please help me study~? I could only understand when you teach me~’.” The girl blushed, and turned crimson a bit later.

“You get it~? As long as you are cute, innocent damsel in distress, he will be at your feet.”

“W-well, th-th-th-th… I WILL TRY, THEN WE WILL TALK!” The girl stomped out of the tent.

“Next!”

At the end of another fruitful day, I started looking through my catch. There were all colors: from white to black, and everything in between. I specifically put the ones with ribbons and frills into a separate folder.

“He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE!”

‘Bang’

“Hello there~.” As I turned around, I saw my worst nightmare, approaching me with the Bible in her hands.

That day New Jersey’s weeping was heard throughout the Academy. All traces of ‘immodest’ activity were deleted, and the concerned girls were assured that their fillet is not going to be seen by anyone.

The phone that participated in the incident was later used as a target for an accuracy contest for the main guns.

Guess which hoodie-wearing battleship won the contest.