1st Arc: Infancy

Act 2: Spirit

 

Túeth’s POV

 

Túeth sat at master Eirlathion’s table, slowly calming down from her moment of panic. All of the conflicting thoughts had gone through her head, and she had cried her tears. Her brain, now filled with the endorphines from the crying she had done, forced a sense of peace onto her that conflicted with her thoughts. Still, because of this ancient coping mechenism of every creature with a nervous system, Túeth was brought back from the brink of insanity, and now she was just paralyzed in a haze of indecision.

 

She had been in the middle of talking with the master about her daughters, when suddenly she was so overcome with fear. She had looked at the face of her daughter. A daughter who promised great prospects and possibilities for the future. A future that could very well include her and help to get her back on her feet. A future that she did not deserve, that she had desired be cut short in her heart again and again and again ever since she discovered she was pregnant.

 

Túeth’s fears were renewed every time she thought of the possibilities for that girl. Despite the conditions of her birth, this girl had so many things now that could easily turn what could be considered a very bad prospect for her life completely on its head. Being a grey elf, members of her father’s race would seek her death whenever they found her, just for being born a grey elf. Dark elves sought the death of all surface elves without exception, but whenever they found a grey elf it was like the entire race considered their mere existence a personal insult and they would use every method at their disposal to ensure that grey elf’s death.

 

For this reason, most elven communities refused to harbor grey elves. The disaster they brought by their mere existence was not something any community would invite. If the grey elf was old enough to walk on their own, they could be simply barred from entering the village and exiled. However, in cases where they were an infant unable to fend for themselves, the solution was simply to eliminate them.

 

In the case of Túeth, she would be met with a great deal of hostility for hiding the fact that her daughters were grey elves. She would be seen as someone who endangered the entire village. However, as their mother, it would be seen as understandable. However, the master magus of the village, upon finding out, took them in and was raising them as his own all this time where she had abandoned them.

 

This was clearly for no reason other than that amazing power possessed by one of her daughters. However, that was clearly not all. If he had just wanted the power that child had for himself, he would not have kept trying to drag Túeth back into their lives. He would have merely kept the girls secreted away and locked up for the rest of their lives, and he would have used what methods he could to keep Túeth herself silent. Instead, he had been pestering her regularly to come back to them.

 

The master had said it himself. The power her daughter possesssed was a power so great that even the queen was likely to take notice. That power, that could call the attention of such an ancient and powerful existence as the queen, was upstairs right now. It was Túeth’s own daughter. If she decided to come back to her daughters now, she would be able to stand in the same place as the royalty of all the fey races of the northern forrest. From that, anything could happen.

 

In a way, this could be seen as the greatest of good fortune that had found its way into Túeth’s lap. That is exactly what was the most frightening thing about it. She really did not deserve this kind of good fortune. She had desired the death of her daughters several times, an uncountable number of times. In the past six months, thoughts of how everything would be better if they were no longer living filled Túeth’s head almost every day. Could a mother like that really ever be a part of their child’s life again?

 

She was only 73 years old. What could a mother who was not even a century old yet possibly offer her children? On top of that, they had the master caring for them as though he was their own father. There was surely nothing she could ever hope to offer that wouldn’t be provided far better by him. He was also the one who had been right by their sides nearly since their birth. By all rights, he was certainly in the place to call himself their parent. Meanwhile, would they even know who she was?

 

As these thoughts continued to swirl through Túeth’s head, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she suddenly felt the warm pressure of a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Oh, sorry.” the calm and masculine voice of the master magus who had invited her into his house apologized and moved over to sit opposite her. She studied the man’s face. She had heard he was now over a mellenium in age. This was well over twice the ammount of the typical elf’s life span, and yet he looked like a man who was only a little past his prime. In fact, it could even be said he looked younger now than he had six months ago when he had first appeared in front of her to report on the condition of her daughters. This was the power of the magus that extended the life of everyone who practiced mage craft.

 

Túeth sat in silence for some time, looking across at the master. Not a word was exchanged between the two of them. Finally, the silence was broken by a long and audible inhale and exhale by the master as he turned his sharp eyes filled with over 1,000 years of wisdom toward her. “I would like to thank you for not leaving” he said. “I know this must be hard for you.” Túeth involuntarily clenched her hands into fists. A simple phrase like that was nowhere near enough to describe the turmoil in her heart right now. Every elf knew to treat the magi with a great deal of respect. One elf’s word could not possibly go against the will of a magi. However, hearing her sea of turbulent emotions summed up in such simple words somehow filled her with rage.

 

It was all she could do to avoid shouting. To make matters worse, she did not even know why those words made her so angry. He was sympathising with her. Why did those words of kindness make her angry? She wanted to ask him, what did he even know? Even living as long as he had there is no way he could possibly understand what she is feeling right now!

 

“I can’t,” Túeth said in a weak trembling voice. She tried her best to keep her irrational anger out of her voice, but there was still a definite tension in her tone. The master did not respond immediately. He just sat and stared at her, looking at her with eyes that seemed to be pulling appart her entire being and judging her. She felt incredibly weak under that gaze, and it was only her fear of and ingrained respect for the title of magus in this moment that prevented her from lashing out at him.

 

Túeth looked up, only to see he was still silently staring at her. She realized, he was waiting for her to continue. What did he want from her? Isn’t this where you usually try to pursuaid the irrational failure of a mother that she has to be there for their children and that crap!? Those girls didn’t even need her! There was absolutely nothing she could offer! What in the hell did this ancient bastard know!?

 

“I... I don’t deserve it.” Túeth finally found her words. This was the safest thing she could say, and it was also the thing closest to the core of what was tormenting her thoughts, the thing that all of these swirling emotions kept coming back to.

 

“Yes, you’re right.” He said, throwing a shock through Túeth’s entire being. Had she just heard him right!? This outrageous comment. It was enough to make her almost forget she was sitting in front of a magus, and she immediately looked up to lock eyes with him. “You’re right, you don’t deserve any of it.” He said again.

 

“What the hell did you call me here for then?” she asked in a poisonous tone, a tone that would leave anyone shocked to hear a mere elf girl in her 70s use with a master magus such as him.

 

“Would you like to tell me what it is you are feeling right now Túeth?” He asks. “I know you are quite aware of the difference in our standings. So, tell me, I want to hear what made you take that tone with me just now.”

 

“I... I’m sorry.” She bites back her anger and looks away from him.

 

“I didn’t ask you for an apology, and I didn’t want one. What I want to hear you tell me is the emotions you are feeling in your heart right now. I want to hear all of the things that are tormenting your soul and leading you to the thoughts you are having right now, the torment that is so great that it makes you forget the difference in our status to such an extent you are willing to disrespect a magus who is nearly an entire millenium older than you are.”

 

“I...”

 

“Don’t worry, yell if you want to Túeth. Use whatever disrespectful words toward me you want to. You’re probably not capable of telling me about it without yelling at me, so go ahead and yell if you want to. This entire house is protected by a silencing spell. There is nobody who is going to hear you yelling at and disrespecting a magus with all your words.”

 

What was that!? Did she just hear that right!? How could a magus be asking her to do such a thing? And even if he said that, it’s not that simple. She had slipped up a second ago, but there is no way she could possibly ever bring herself to do what he was asking her to do.

 

“I... I can’t be their mother!”Having said that, she struggled for a moment, but there were no more words that came to her mind. It felt like there should be more to say, but nothing else came out and so she just left it at that, having said those words without backing them up with the reason behind them.

 

The master looked at her and lowered his gaze. Túeth could see something like disappointment in his eyes. “That’s all you have to say?” He asks. Túeth knows that was nowhere near what it was that he wanted to hear, but she couldn’t give him what he wanted. It just... wouldn’t be appropriate. After she had hidden it from everybody for all this time, and it also was not an easy thing to come out to someone of this high a station with her personal worries either. That was really all that she could possibly say in this situation.

 

The master let out a long sigh, casting his disappointed eyes down at the table. “Well then, you don’t have to be their mother.” He said. “I’m not even sure if I’m going to need you for a babysitter anymore, at least not for a while. It turns out I can’t leave that girl alone after all. If she’s pulling stunts like what she just did up there, she needs someone who can keep her in line nearby until she learns to control her power. She learns scary fast, but it still might take years before she can be left on her own with someone else.”

 

So, that was it then? He didn’t need her anymore. Maybe he would come calling on her again in a few years when he needed her to watch the girls while he was off talking to the royals, but for now her role in her daughters’ lives was done.

 

“I have something else I would like to offer instead.” The master says, causing Túeth’s eyes to drift up to his face. Suddenly, his face seemed quite gentle. His eyes that seemed so serious a moment ago were now full of compassion and earnestness. For some reason, Túeth felt something, she felt hope at what he was going to say next. Where was this hope coming from? For some reason, while she was wanting to do nothing but run away from this whole situation a moment ago, after being told by him that he didn’t need her to be the girls’ mother, suddenly she felt like she would do whatever he wanted her to do if it meant that she might be able to somehow be back here in his house where her girls are. She didn’t understand it. Where was this feeling coming from?

 

“Túeth,” he said, “would you like to become my apprentice?”

 

“Uh?” She made some unintelligent response like that toward the master’s words. She thought she had heard him correctly, but her brain just refused to believe what she had just heard. How could she be a mage’s apprentice!? Her! Túeth! Just some young girl who had been toyed with by a dark elf, a worthless outsider who endangered the whole village by giving birth to grey elves and keeping it secret for six months! Someone who had used such cras language with a magus a few minutes ago and still had such disrespectful thoughts about him! She was a failure already who could not watch the girls for him, she had freaked out the moment she saw their faces! She had no family, no connections, she was now just a worthless leech feeding off the kindness of this village! And he wants her for an apprentice!?

 

“It’s not just because of the girls.” He says. “You were next to the heaven’s fall when it happened, and I do not think there is a single person alive who was closer to the source of that energy than you when it was at its very highest. You may not realize it yet, but your entire spirit was aslo reshaped by that. I do not think there is a single mage alive who wouldn’t have you for an apprentice.”

 

After saying this, he stood up again and walked around to touch her on the shoulder, exactly the same way as he had when he first came down and surprised her. “We can worry about the rough edges later. For now, I would like you to go home and sort out your thoughts. You can come here tomorrow and we will start your training. We will be staying down here on the first floor the entire time. Those children are surprisingly well behaved and usually keep to themselves up there, so it’s very likely you won’t even see them for the entire day unless you decide on your own to go upstairs where they are.”

 

“A... ahh...” Túeth gasped breathlessly. She was still having difficulty processing this whole thing. This was far more than she ever thought possible. Really!? A magus’ apprentice? That means, she was going to become a magus herself! A magus! Her? Really!?

 

There had to be something wrong with this here. She just couldn’t accept that kind of good fortune could just fall in her lap. This kind of thing didn’t simply just happen to someone like her! How could a worthless girl like her be given this kind of opportunity!?

 

“It’s Ok, I don’t need you to answer me right now. I already said I want you to think about it. Just, go home right now. I don’t think you are in any condition to think properly.”

 

“Y... yeah.” Túeth gasped. She stood up on shaky legs, and then made her way over to the entry way for the house. The master caused the door to open with a mere prolonged glance toward the wall, he didn’t even touch the wall to open it, a testimate to his control over the mana running through his body, and how attuned he was to the green word. “Well...” She said, looking back at him. “Th... thank you.” That was all she was able to say. She was still very haunted and shaken by the outrageous offer he had made, and her mind still hadn’t caught up with it yet. After she left his house, she walked in a daze until the moment she had arrived at her own home.

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Author's note

Yes, this chapter picks up immediately where things left off before the intermission. The transition between acts did not involve any real time-skip at all, it's just that this chapter fits more thematically with this act than the previous one.

 

Also, I've made a correction to chapter 19. Previously, Túeth had referred to Rolwen and Levin as "boy" or "human boy." I changed this to "child" and "human child," removing the reference to their gender. I have said before that language is something that I give a fair amount of importance in my writing, this relates to that.

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