Book 2 Chapter 32: The most difficult subjects
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Author's note
 
Well, it does not look like school and the stress of performance has sped up my writing any, I am currently out of buffer chapters and my buffer chapters are the only reason I have even been able to get the last three chapters out on time at all.
 
I am going to call a short haitus to the story, most likely less than a week. Actually, what will be happening is that the "haitus" was last week, and this short time I am not posting any chapters I will be using to rebuild my buffers so the schedule can stay regular once I start it up again. So, I am calling the haitus until either next Sunday or once I have written 2 buffer chapters. Whichever comes first. I will end the haitus early and post immediately as soon as I write the 2nd buffer if I manage to get it done sooner than I thought.
 
Anyway, enough talk about the future. Time to enjoy this chapter now.

Aerien’s POV
 
Talking with Gaerien had calmed me down considerably. It seemed that everything was getting to be back in order now. Well, everything except for one thing. I looked over to a corner of the room and saw my mother… my birth mother. It is certainly going to be difficult figuring out how to refer to her from now on.
 
‘So, you said that she held onto me for most of the first day?’ I asked Gaerien.
 
‘Yeah, that’s right.’ She replied.
 
‘I see… you don’t like her much, do you?’
 
‘What makes you say that?’
 
‘Except for right after that incident, you did not talk to me at all until she was convinced to put me down.’
 
‘That was… ahh… I guess I’m caught.’
 
‘What is the problem exactly?’
 
‘Well… I… I didn’t want to tell you about this. The kid was so attached to the idea of having a mother be there for her.’
 
‘Is it because of how she avoided me back then?’
 
‘Well, that’s part of it, yeah…’
 
‘Gaerien, you can talk to me. What is the problem?’
 
‘Well… I can… I can hear her thoughts.’
 
‘What!?’
 
‘Yeah, I think it is because of my past godhood. I can hear her thoughts as though they were a prayer directed at me. Well, I don’t hear all of her thoughts, only the ones that are about me individually, or us together.’
 
‘I see… what are they about?’
 
‘Well… it’s mostly regret these days… She really beats herself up over stuff.’
 
‘Hmm… like another person holding guilt in their heart?’
 
‘What!? That! Ahhh…. yeah, I guess it’s the same. It’s a whole world more than you though.’
 
‘Well, what exactly is the matter with that?’
 
‘Ahhh… it’s just… I know you really want to have some kind of relationship with her, but… if you heard this, you wouldn’t want to anymore.’
 
What a comment. My brain felt like it stopped. ‘Now I think it’s you who has the absurd worries.’ I told her. ‘You are clearly forgetting about what faith I practiced in my previous life. Well, still do to an extent. Forgiveness and grace are rather important central points to anyone practicing as they should.’
 
‘What!? Now that just sounds absurd! You haven’t even heard what it is, and because of the god you worship you are already saying you will forgive whatever it is!!? That’s just foolish!’
 
‘Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.’
 
‘Errr…. what?’
 
‘A quote from our holy text. It means that we are not to be foolish while upholding teachings like the forgiveness and grace I just told you about. The principal is that, while I absolutely will forgive anything I hear, I am not going to simply smile and approach her if it sounds like the life and well-being of myself or someone I care for will be in danger as a result. The forgiveness is not for her, it is for me. Holding anger in your heart is toxic. It will eat you from inside and make you miserable. Grace, though, is the act of showing kindness to even those who don’t deserve it. Moderated by the judiciousness of the verse I just quoted of course.’
 
‘Ugh… why do you have to couch these things in these religious terms anyway?’
 
‘Couch in these terms? Why, Garien! I think you have adapted to our modern way of speaking!’
 
‘Hey! Don’t change the subject!’
 
‘You seemed like you were lacking in a response, just helping you out.’ I chuckled.
 
‘Well, yeah! It’s really hard to argue when you start talking about all this religious stuff!’
 
‘I guess that might be why you never had that many followers?’
 
‘Let’s not talk about that!’
 
‘Ok then, how about we get back on subject? What is it that mother has been thinking about us that has you so concerned?’
 
‘FINE! I’LL TELL YOU!’
 
-
 
Túeth’s POV
 
Túeth’s final hope had been dashed. Everything was going wrong. It was quickly beginning to feel like a slow moving version of that horrible night. Coming to the capital was what was supposed to make everything work out. It was supposed to assure the lives of the girls, and then Túeth could learn from the master and build a new life as a mage. And, with the girls’ lives assured, she could slowly get to know them and form some kind of motherly attachment.
 
She was already aware she was going to loose Aerien. She was surprised though that it was in the form of her becoming the princess. She had heard before that fairy families were formed from older fairies adopting younger fairies, but she had never imagined the fey dragon queen would adopt a 6 month old grey elf, even if she was unusually powerful.
 
Before this, Gaerien already had made it obvious she wanted nothing to do with her. Her chances with that girl seemed to have been ripped to shreds before she even attempted to make a connection. She wasn’t even certain why she was so upset. She clearly disliked being held even by the master, but she seemed to really show a special disdain for her mother. She simply could not understand it.
 
Aerien, up until now, had at least shown that she wanted her mother. However, now that she had aged around 15 years in a mere 4 days, she was showing a lot more of her personality and talking a lot more clearly, and it was absolutely terrifying. That power and that anger! For a moment, Túeth remembered the female commander who had stood over the captured women, and then ordered the dark elf men to kill them after they had “had their fun with them.”
 
That much terrifying power triggered by the rage of having those humans called pets. Túeth could swear those girls always knew exactly what she was thinking. Aerien had almost spoken her exact thoughts while she was crying and yelling for her as she was running away, and Gaerien always gave her an accusatory glare every time her thoughts ventured in a particularly dark direction in regards to the girls. If she hated her humans being called pets so much, she had to know about Túeth regarding them so as well. It seemed she hadn’t meant to harm the fairy noble, but her humans being called pets had clearly enraged her. That girl would never want to have Túeth for a mother again. Well, it was just as well. The queen was her mother now. She was going to have a much better life like this, and the queen could deal with that terrifying power that girl had. There was no way Túeth could correct such a child if she happened to get out of line.
 
All that Túeth could do now is sit in this corner, hoping not to be noticed. Aerien was occasionally casting a glance in her direction. What was she thinking exactly? She went to Gaerien and held her sister in her lap. The girl seemed overjoyed to be in her sister’s arms, and the two seemed to just sit there and relax. Occasionally, they would direct a firm look at one another. A number of emotions crossed both of their faces. It was almost like they were having a conversation that no one could hear using their eyes and facial muscles. It seems that’s the closeness of twins, even if one looks like a 15 year old and the other like an infant.
 
Túeth remained silent, just watching this happening for a while. Then, suddenly, she froze when Aerien picked up her sister and then walked over to her, taking a seat right next to her. She was frozen stiff looking at her... the princess sitting there and holding Gaerien. Aerien did not look up at her, she simply stared forward across the room. It was obvious though that her body language had changed. She was not in that same relaxed pose as she was when she was sitting with Gaerien on the couch earlier. She was stiff, sitting in an upright posture and keeping her head straight as she looked across the room. Gaerien, who would normally be fixing Túeth with a death glare if she were this close to her, instead was avoiding eye contact while looking in her general direction.
 
It was pretty obvious there was only one reason she came over here. Túeth was scared stiff, but she knew that moving away was not an option. Aerien... the princess would only follow her if she did. What was she supposed to do!? Why was she just being silent!? That’s it! Túeth was going to have to be the person to speak first!
 
“Umm... do... do you need something, y-your high..”
 
“Stop that!” The princess cut her off in a stern biting tone that sounded even more mature than even her appearance suggested. In fact, it sounded quite regal, befitting her new station well. At any rate, Túeth was stunned. She had angered this frightening princess, and she did not know what she did wrong.
 
What was she supposed to do!? All she COULD do is put her head down and hope nothing bad happened. Remain silent. She was yelled at when she was trying to talk, so being silent was the only safe bet.
 
After a short time of this, the princess made a disgusted sound. “Call me Aerien, mother! That’s the name that YOU gave me! I do not want to hear you saying anything else.”
 
“What!? But... the queen!”Túeth objected to what she was hearing. When she looked up, she noticed the princess’ eyes were shut tightly, and her breathing was strange. There was something very unnatural and deliberate about it.
 
“I do not care about what that dragon queen says! You are still my mother! Even if you want to run away from that role, you will always be the woman who gave birth to me. I do not care about my father and how I was conceived. I know that it was not a happy event for you. You did not choose any of this. But, I will not allow you to let that define you. I am sure just looking at me must be painful to you, but to me, you are my mother!”Tears began falling from her closed eyes as she spoke in such an impassioned voice. Túeth looked up and noticed the fairy noble and the changeling were both looking this way.
 
She did not know how to respond. She was unable to simply accept what she was hearing. A part of her felt happy. It healed a part of her heart. However, she was afraid. She couldn’t just accept this after everything else that had happened. And besides! She was a princess now! This may be what she wants, but it is not something that could be accepted. No, she had no choice but to reject those words.
 
The princess let out a sigh. “I’m sorry.” She said, and then slid off the chair. “I know that you have lived a difficult life, mother. You will need some time to accept this. But please, for now, at least call me by my name. None of this ‘your highness’ stuff.” She began walking away, never looking back at Túeth. 
 
She walked over to where the fairy noble was tending to the other noble on the bed and addressed her. “Excuse me, is there another room where Gaerien and I can be alone?”
 
“Ah! Y-yes your highness! This way, please.” With those words, Aerien was lead out of the room.
 
Túeth took a deep breath, collapsing into her chair. She had not realized how tense the room had gotten. It was considerably less than when Aerien had almost killed that fairy noble, but that same energy had been shaking the air from the moment she had started talking. It had been... actually, it had been almost exactly like what she had told the changeling was the original purpose of that dragon aura of hers. Just enough to make a person feel nervous or tense.
 
-
 
Aerien’s POV.
 
The fairy took me to a near by room down the hall. It appeared to be a smaller guest room of some sort, also finely furnished but just not as absurdly big or ornate. As soon as I was shown in, she bowed and left.
 
I had kept my composure as best I could until now, but as soon as the woman was gone the first thing I did was to go over to the couch, put Gaerien down on one side of it, and then collapse face first into the throw pillow on the opposite end with my body taking up the remaining two cushions not occupied by my sister.
 
“Just so you know, the kid’s awake.” I told her. Yes, my younger half had abandoned her duties of trying to repair her chakra system as soon as she caught wind of the fact I was going to try and reconcile with our mother. That had certainly not made this whole ordeal any easier. I am not certain if I would be feeling quite the way I do not without her, but I had to agree this whole situation was really upsetting.
 
“Gaerien, I hate this!” I tell her. “I hate this power! I hate this whole screwed up situation! I can’t even look my mother in they eyes because I’m afraid getting mad while I’m talking might kill her! I.. I thought I was supposed to be the one who understood about all this complicated stuff, about how hard the world could really be! This STUPID magic aura stuff! Earth was definitely better off not having any of it!”
 
The wet heat of a tear ran off my nose, and I felt it drip down into the pillow. Meanwhile, Gaerien placed her hand on the bare skin of my ankle. ‘Well, I’m not very good at actually giving out advice, but... you had strong control over your aura in your past life, right? And your first use of it was intentional too, wasn’t it?’
 
I sniffed before I started talking again. “Not really.” I told her. “We never really have to learn to suppress our intent or presence on Earth unless we are trying to go totally unnoticed. Humans of Earth are not really affected by this aura, not unless it’s particularly trained like mine was.” ‘So, yeah, I got good at it.’I continued, switching to mental speech half way into my explanation, ‘Being good with this ability on Earth means getting strong enough for it to actually have any kind of affect beyond just slightly intimidating someone, and being able to call on it without having it accompanied by large beast-like intimidation behaviors. Only a master can call on their aura while otherwise appearing completely serine. However, any human from Earth can call on it while yelling and thrashing around.’
 
‘I see. Well, you may not like this, but I think the best solution might be to talk to your new mother, the queen.’
 
I rolled over and sat up when I heard these words. I sat up and looked at Gaerien so that I wouldn’t have to speak. I could just let my face say what I wanted to say, because I was unable to actually say it. I knew she was right. That just made too much sense. The queen was incredibly powerful. I may have an infinite supply of energy, but quite frankly, she had the ability to utilize a lot more power than me at any one time. I could tell this just from the feeling she was giving off when I was in front of her.
 
She had an incredible aura. It felt like being in front of the grandmaster during sword drills. The old psycho actually considered it training to have us dodge out of the way while he swung a live steel katana at his students. Well, it wasn’t like it was him coming after us with a katana. It was a drill. He would repeat the same predictable horizontal slash, making it clear what avoidance tactic we ought to use. However, we had to do it while facing down the power of his killing intent combined with the psychological threat of the fact that he really was swinging a real deadly weapon at us. I could see the point in it, he wanted us to be able to move under real pressure. However, just being able to move under the threat of his intent focused on you is a feat in and of itself.
 
Being in the queen’s presence felt almost like that. She may even be more powerful than the grandmaster. And she had lived her entire life in this world where people can be killed by an aura like that. If anyone was likely to be able to teach me how to control this, it would be her.
 
After considering it over, the only thing I could do was heave an almost exaggerated sigh and fall back onto the tear stained pillow. “You’re right.” I admitted.
 
‘Before that though, since you are calmed down and we have some time alone and away from everyone else, I have been really wanting to get a look back inside your spirit since you described it to me. Do you think you can open the way and let me in?’
 
I lifted my head and glared at her. ‘You think I’m calmed down just from a short exchange like that!?’ Come on, didn’t she say gods and goddesses were supposed to know the human heart? ‘Fine! I guess it involves meditation, and some meditation followed by a bit of a distraction may be exactly what I need right now.’ I take it back. Maybe she does know humans. She just gets a little too blunt in her approach.
 

Subscribers' comments of the chapter

 
"good stuff"
                  -Roy
 
"So emotional!"
                   -meowingLexi
 
"Teary Aerien sounds pretty cute"
                    -NohVoha

Ok, yeah, comments were not too crazy for this one. I guess they were too choked up or something after reading this chapter? I will choose to think that's the case.
 
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