So, I have been seeing some complaints over the pacing of the series. This happened early on as well, it seems to happen during the set-up portions of this story. However, I have become a little selfconscious of it due to also having a slowed pace of writing due to having to work while going to school. As such, I have decided to address some of the complaints directly in the form of an FAQ, and to also include a poll at the end so that I can get an idea of just where the sentiments lie for the readerbase as a whole.
This is a little out of place for an FAQ since we are still in the middle of the act, but once again, the complaints were recent and the update rate is slow. So, it would take a while to get the story to the end of the act and I kinda want to address this now. (I will likely move this FAQ later.)
Now, to get into some of the things I have seen as complaints. I will attempt to re-word the complaints into the form of a question.
Q: So, Aerien is a princess in the capital now. It has officially jumped the shark. Is there going to be any real direction from here on? Or is it just Aerien milling about doing family and personal relationship stuff?
A: Don’t worry, I have not gone all Mary Sue with Aerien. Some other people have called it correctly, Aerien’s princess status is a tether to chain her down. Also, there is a plot being set up. This whole trial thing is a bit of a detour, but there are things that need to be properly set up in order for everything to play out.
Q: So, what is with the slow pacing of the series?
A: I tell a very character driven story. There are things that are going to happen in this story, and I intend to write this in a way that will get the readers in a place where they can really feel what is about to happen as though they were in the story. In order to do that, I need my readers to not only know the characters, but also be aware of all the little things that lead to the events that are going to unfold.
You might not see it right now, but every single chapter I have been sliding in things that foreshadow what’s going to come. Perhapse part of the problem here is that Truth is off at boot camp. He seemed pretty good at picking up the breadcrumbs I was laying out.
Q: What is with all the useless details you keep adding in?
A: There are 3 kinds of details I bring into the story. First is set-up for events to come, as I have mentioned before. Second is character building. I consider character building details to be very important. They may seem irrelevant because they do not advance the story, but they are actually very important as they show, rather than tell, what the character’s personality is like.
I am actually rather surprised because I have seen quite a few people mention useless details and try to give examples, but not one of them has mentioned the half chapter I dedicated to showing Eirlathion’s routine in how he cares for the plants in his room in extreme detail. That’s alright, but apparently the fact that Aerien knows vomit is comprised of stomach acid and bile which took half a sentence to mention is not alright. I wonder about these people sometimes.
The last kind of detail I bring into the story are artifacts. Basically, they are my attempts to start the story down one direction, and then having it get lost before I can follow up on it in anything like a timely manner. An example would be Aerien’s comment about knowing what language she wants to use in her spell crystals. However, now we are over 50 chapters later and Aerien hasn’t even started on her spell crystals yet. I genuinely expected to write about her trying to form spells in the very next chapter after that, but the story wound up going a different direction.
I have planned out the broad strokes of the story, but sometimes the details get pulled in a different direction. It is the unfortunate hazard of writing on a schedule and posting my rough draft directly to the internet to be read. These details that are artifacts of false-start storylines are about the only genuinely useless details by my assessment, and I really would like to go through and edit to take them out if I can only find the time.
Q: You tagged this as martial arts, so where’s all the action?
A: I am not sure if you counted, but there have been 5 fights in the space of 90 chapters. I have read a few series with the martial arts tag myself, most of them belong to the cultivation world genre. 1 fight per 20 chapters is actually about the standard in those as well. And, just like this one, the rest is world and character building.
Actually, this reads in a manner that’s fairly similar to most of the martial arts books and movies I have consumed. This even includes famous western martial arts movies like the Karate Kid. I would challenge you to go back and watch that and count the fight scenes.
My best guess as to why some people may be left with the impression that there is very little action is that I try to portray my fight scenes in a very realistic way. This means that fights are over very quickly. In real life, any fight where there is a weapon involved will be over in less than 5 seconds. The only fights that ever go longer are fist fights. Those can last a few minutes depending on the presence or absence of rules. If there are no rules, it will probably last about 30 seconds before someone is on the ground in a choke hold, or trying desperately to protect their face while the other guy is going ground and pound on them.
(Aerien would have them in a joint-lock submission hold. Either that, or they would be dead because she broke their neck.)
Well, I think that is everything where it comes to the most frequent complaints I have seen. I have also noticed that it is rare for someone who has a complaint to show up in the comments section. They all seem to go to the reviews section and leave a bad review. In other words, where I can’t respond and they can’t get anything to change for the future. Doesn’t sound like anyone who likes the series and wants to see it improve to me.
My main reason for writing this now though is that I actually did encounter someone who complained in the comments section and we had a very nice little back-and-forth. He seemed like a nice guy, and if you actually talk to me like that I tend to take what you have to say more seriously.
I do feel the pacing can be managed a little better and maybe include a little less of the written equivalent of “en.” (A japanese concept most frequently talked about by Studio Gibli. It is the use of the quiet moments to help the big moments be more impactful, and to allow the audience to take a breather and internalize what came before.) I will have to think about my approach. If anything does change, it will not be immediate. I do not think I am even capable of stepping up the pacing immediately, both because it would feel too wrong to me and also because it would ruin the story to make such a sudden tone change.
So, now it is time for the poll. Having just said what I did in the above paragraph, the results of this poll will not actually cause any immediate change. Regardless of the outcome of the poll, the remainder of the current book will not change at all. However, it might have some influence on how book 3 is written, as well as the still pending edits.
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Make it slower, I want to sit back and enjoy Aerien and the kids being cute. Votes: 7 2.6%
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It's perfect just like it is! I love this series! Votes: 86 31.6%
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I don't really care, it's your story, write it however feels right for you. Votes: 127 46.7%
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The slow pace bothers me, but it has a lot of interesting concepts I want to see more of. Votes: 47 17.3%
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It really bothers me, it makes this series very difficult for me to read. Votes: 5 1.8%
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I have grown to like the pacing. It has become part of the story's unique features.
Personally I like smart developments more than senseless fighting: While they are not mutually exclusive, I definitely prefer the former over the latter. I like plot full of wonder, mystery and intrigue rather than distressed/reactionary action and fighting.
My opinion is that there tends to be better feedback from the comments section on SH than the reviews. It's almost the opposite to Youtube, where the comments are a blasted landscape of nuclear waste. The pace appears slow because of the pace of chapter releases, and the size of said chapters. Once a story is finished, the author can go back over the story, polish, and tighten it up. At least the few novels I've read that started out online, or I was in the beta group for did that. It's hard to accurately balance the pace of a story in the middle of writing it.
Basically, this is your world we're getting a peek of. You show us your vision, and we'll either read and like it or not. Now, if you're deliberately writing the story for max audience, then yes, the pacing's probably too slow. But I'd rather have a unique vision than commodity story.
Edited a bunch!
Uff... for me it either could only be:
I don't really care, it's your story, write it however feels right for you.
Because.. you know? Your story, your rules. Thank you for your considerations here however!
Or:
The slow pace bothers me, but it has a lot of interesting concepts I want to see more of.
wich i choose to pick.
I do wish we could move on slightly quicker and expierience new and more things to freshen up the read abit. Just to repeat it: ~85 chapters cover the first 6 months of their lifes with only 1 major shakeup.
As my actual feedback:
Ethers gardening (from what i do recollect) didnt bother me as it feelt like a calm before the storm moment, though more mundane minute details in such scenes could be left out for average guys like me since reading about a topic(like gardening) in detail that does not excites you or without prior knowledge to it, is... well is just not interresting. Like its nice to see that a computer runs and LEDs blink but i dont care how and why it does so as long as one is not into electronics if it helps to convey the feeling? I read to immerse myself and to enjoy a story and not soak up excessive and propably for me useless knowledge as a freetime activity :0
Aside from this there is actually only one part that bothered me to the point that it stuck: The multiple PoVs on the sub Fae Dragon vs Dryard escalation. Pesonaly i realy enjoy multiple PoVs but only when they cover the same expierience in a drastic different way (up to only a second PoV) or move the story forward instead of a repeat. After that its nice to read about the conclusion/fallout in yet other PoVs. Like a fight between A and B depicted from As and Bs (or Cs) PoV while the fallout is getting adressed by n/either from A or Bs PoV and C, D or a general PoV. Preferable as a tool for the story to keep moving on away from the actual fight.
To let the feedback fade out: I noticed that a story manages to absolutly captivate me when something goes unexpectedly and quickly south for the characters i'm invested in and the pace drasticly accelerates to depict the urgency of the situation.
My most memorable example would be in Azarinth healer
Where Ileas first big life threatening fck up in a Taleen Dungeon happens after joining a big and strong expedition team on the fly just for all of them to utterly get annihilated. My own overconfidence in Ilea, as she alone treated the dungeon half confident before, played a big part as i didnt expect sh*t hitting the fan aswell. Couplet with a rapid fight and everybody on their own flight for your life + emotional breakdown scene had my heart pounding. Ofc a good cooldown aftermath depiction was the cherry on top
Not just the novel accelerated the pace but i catched myself reading as fast as i could aswell due to the urgency that was conveyed... and it was amazing! I only stopped when Ilea hit a savezone since i genuinely feared for her life.
I was nearly there in your story aswell with Ether guys PoV of the Dragon vs dryards escalation, if not for Aeriens PoV (due to detailed explanation of how she managed/prepared her feats here) before aswell as the other two after ether guys PoV that mellowed and streched the urgency out.
I don't look at the reviews/ comment section much, so I didn't even realize that some people didn't like the pacing. I think that it's your story so you should go with your way to tell it. Also, I like it. I like the story, and I like the pacing. I read stories for the characters, how they interact with the world, and how they overcome their challenges. This story has believable characters, a fascinating world, and a complex-enough-to-be-fascinating-without-making-my-head-hurt plot. I honestly love all the little details thrown in because they make the world seem more real, as well as leading to a scavenger hunt through the text every time I didn't guess a plot twist. This is the kind of story that you get more out of each time you read it, and those are the stories I like best. If you do decide to change the way you write it, please do so slowly, and let it fit with how you want write. After all, I already know how my stories go. I'm here for yours.
I haven't really thought about the story's pacing, which probably means it's good enough.
Your pacing is perfect for when an interesting ack is happening, but when something like the travel ark where not much was happening, nor could happen, it kinda starts to drag
Ok I'm going to put my 2 cents in
Princess sue?- While I'm sure i missed some of it I've noticed enough of the foreshadowing/world building that it didn't really occur to me to worry about that at this point MC becoming royalty under these conditions actually felt like putting limits on the character (unlike what sometimes happens) slightly worried about Sagel-sue being an issue tho, please note I recognize his backstory justifies being quite competent and knowledgeable in a large variety of fields but even if you don't abuse that having super butler around can make it harder to justify most 'small lesson' moments for the MC. Basically both Aerien and Sagel are tricky character types and you basically committed to having them both but you've been fleshing out the story quite well so far so benefit of the doubt given.
Slow pacing?- it was the flippin baby arc most of those are glacial I'd say the pacing was just about right since you are largely using the teach the audience the world as the characters learn method.
useless details? noticed very little in that regard even the plant example was very good at setting the mood and showing how current events were impacting the character's mindset. that said I can't recall anything specific at this moment but i did have a couple of points with Aerien that i thought it seemed like focusing on the detail right that moment didn't feel right.
Martial Arts? ya if they came for that tag they were probably expecting more drawn out fights, I'm good either way but I'm not expecting much combat in the next arc for the main cast at least.
Outside of my earlier concern I only really have one thing thats been bugging me abit on the story Book 2 Chapter 33 had Aerien grumbling about not being seen as the same person, when 1. the old man has literally trained/guided the kid in the way Gaerien seems to be suggesting at several points (including in the very next chapter) and 2. when the kid has been excluded from direct discussion in favor of talking to the old man for them both she ends up feeling left out or annoyed. this is either the character being inconsistent or they have more individuality then they realize (i switched up the singular and plural wording on purpose)
It is quite a while back, but the first time the old man left the child side in charge back in book 1 she stated that she actually thinks of them as two separate people as well, regarding the old man like a grandfather to her. It is very much more the old man's thing to regard them both as the same person. So, even Aerien's 2 sides disagree on whether or not they are two separate entities.
(You will notice it is also when the kid's in control that they act more like separate entities as well. Kinda raises the question then, who is more dominant between the two? Which perspective is winning out?)
@Jemini Indeed, I noticed the little one feeling very jealous that the Old Man is closer to everyone around her. Just the instance of the other children asking her to talk to the old man about their next training exercises, or when the "adults", as she said it, talk to each other about stuff. That's just when she feels left out, which is totally natural, since she is a mere child.
However, this all, makes the story really hard to read, as for me the Old Man is the main character, while the little child is actually the invader in the body and disrupting the growth of his powers. Maybe that's just me. If it were only Aerien controlling the body and mind, then she would be so naive and immature that the story would be completely unreadable.
The interesting part about the story is, at least for me, the Old Man.
It would be natural if they fused and the Old Man would have a certain childish influence in his personality, but other than that, this whole "two soul"-thing is rather annoying.
The story is nonetheless written very nicely, but it just got unbearable when she showed unneeded jealousy.
The high points of this series have always been the conflicts and the character dynamics, it's fast enough where it doesn't feel like it's just revving its engine for something that'll never come and slow enough that every detail, every thought, every anguish and every emotion the characters experience is hammered home just enough for it to leave an impression.
Personally, I love the pacing as is, It's exactly what I'm looking for in a story like this.
91 chapters in and you're asking about pacing now? Author... are you quite mad? Leave it as is... let the crazy people complaining about pacing go read those 1000 chapter chinese novels.
The pace of the series is spot on. Most ppl complaining about it is because they already caught up with the series but if you read all chapters in one sitting you will find out that instead there are things going really fast around Aerien. As for useless details there are series with more details or none at all and I end just reading them for the sake of knowing how it ends but once I caught up with that serie I can't seem to go back to read that one is as if I'm completely wiping it out of my mind, so I think with what is done in your work is good enough because you will get better at it the more you write so I see great future for this. Someone had to say it and it was me.