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“Isn’t it obvious that Jun Yang doesn’t want to talk to you? Why are you still chasing after him? Do you really think he will respond to you after what you’ve done?! How disgusting!” Pei Ling’s nose turned up in condescension referencing the on stage kiss. She turned around and said, “Let me go and get him. Like usual, leave it to me to fix the mess that you’ve created.”
Feng Qi was really not in the mood for Pei Ling’s sanctimonious talk. He needed to go chase after Jun Yang. So the young man grabbed hold of Pei Ling’s arm, at which point, the girl yelped, “What are you doing?!”
“Get out of my way!” was all the warning Feng Qi gave Pei Ling as he pushed the girl aside. Pei Ling stumbled slightly before she managed to steady herself. That was the opening Feng Qi took to run past the girl, down the stairs and out the door, retracing Jun Yang’s steps.
Feng Qi heard some commotion coming from inside the auditorium. Pei Ling was probably raising a ruckus to Mr. Sam but Feng Qi couldn’t care less about what she was doing. Unless she managed to strike him dead on the spot, nothing was going to stop him searching for Jun Yang.
Since they were the last group for the rehearsal, when Feng Qi left the auditorium, the sun was already setting. He looked left and right before sprinting down the left corridor because he saw someone who appeared like Jun Yang turned around the corner in the distance.
He called out Jun Yang’s name as he ran but the person didn’t stop. When Feng Qi reached the corner, the person he saw earlier disappeared. It was as if he had imagined the whole thing.
Instead of allowing himself to be overwhelmed by panic, Feng Qi stopped to focus and to look for clues. Suddenly, he heard a melody drifting down the corridor towards him. Not many students were supposed to be at school so late in the day and music classes were already long over so this was as good a lead as any for Feng Qi to follow.
He pinpointed the direction of the melody and loped down the corridor.
As he gotten closer, the melody became clearer and clearer. It was a Chinese song, a duet between a male and female singer. Later, he would come to know the song as 920 by Xiao Yu and A-lin but at the time, he was merely hoping the music would lead him to Jun Yang.
‘I don’t know why I wanna cry/ Perhaps there’s a love in my heart/ Turning and Running…’
Feng Qi followed the trail up the stairs and after turning the final corner, there he was, the prince that he was looking for.
Jun Yang was sitting on the corridor, his back leaning against the wall. The music that Feng Qi had been hearing came from Jun Yang’s phone that he left sitting by his side.
Feng Qi breathed out in relief, “Jun Yang, I finally found you.”
Jun Yang did not react in any way, in other words, he did not turn to acknowledge Feng Qi’s arrival. He merely sat there with his legs crossed and his knees up against his chest. To fill in the silence, the song continued to play.
‘Because I can’t confess/ doesn’t mean there’s no love/ forever in my heart/ turning and running…’
Feng Qi dragged himself towards Jun Yang, even when he was just one step next to the young man, Jun Yang still did not turn to look at him. It was as if they were stuck in different dimension and Jun Yang was unable to sense his presence.
Even though Feng Qi had always been a suave person around Jun Yang, at that moment he felt weirdly frantic because this was uncharted territory for their territory and more than that, the young man stood to lose everything.
A part of Feng Qi felt like grabbing Jun Yang by his shoulders, shaking him, kissing him, confessing his love, or something but in the end, all Feng Qi could do was to sigh and say in a uncharacteristically defeated tone, “Jun Yang, I’m sorry.”
‘Don’t care what people say/ I don’t want to be so tired anymore/ We can fly away/ Because I love you, just love you…’
“I’m sorry for taking advantage of you like that. I know this is no justification but I did what I did because I don’t want to lose you, I don’t ever want to lose you…” Like a deflating balloon, words tumbled out of Feng Qi’s lips and the more he said, the droopier his shoulders got. “When I found out that you are in an arranged marriage with Pei Ling, something just came over me. I suppose you can call it jealousy.
“I strive to ignore it, to tell myself that it was merely a trick by the girl but just the thought of losing you sent me over the edge. I was unable to think because this issue was the only thing that could occupy my mind. Every other thought has been blocked out.
“I know it isn’t fair what I did but the fight isn’t fair to begin with. How am I supposed to compare with someone who can provide you with a bright future? One that is not only normal but also blessed by wealth, happiness and joy.
“I…” Feng Qi sighed.
‘I don’t know why I wanna cry/ Perhaps there’s a love in my heart/ Turning and Running…’
“There is no excuse for what I’ve done. I understand if you hate me and don’t ever want to see me again. In fact, even I hate myself for losing my cool, for forcing myself upon you, for making you uncomfortable.”
Until now there had been no response from Jun Yang except a flicker of his eyes when Feng Qi mentioned the arranged marriage.
“Pei Ling has been trying but failed to send me away, but one word from you and I’ll be gone from your hair. You’ll never see me again. I will never weigh you down with my feelings nor will I stand in your way because there is one thing I’ll never do in this world and that is to see you unhappy.”
Still no response from the man…
But the song continued to sing, ‘Don’t care what people say/ I don’t want to be so tired anymore/ We can fly away/ Because I love you, just love you…’
A sense of finality fell over Feng Qi. The lack of answer was all the answer he needed. Feng Qi thought about saying goodbye but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. As insouciant as he made himself sound, it was heart-wrenching to tear himself apart from Jun Yang.
In the end, Feng Qi let out a sigh, tightened his jaw and turned. [If you like my work, I would really appreciate a cup of joe as donation. Thank you. Donate here: ko-fi.com/lonelytree]

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